~ You've got that power over me ~
My gosh, is that hard. It's like I'm walking through honey. My steps are so slow. Everything seems to be so much easier, than walking up this stage to Shawn Mendes' room. The room, he warned me even looking into, yesterday.
A step.
And the next step.
And the next.
And shit. I'm up the stairs.
For a moment, I only listen to the laughter out of the living room and the kitchen, and I can hear Aaliyah telling one of her funny jokes. I see out of the window of the corridor. It's snowing so much, that I can barely see any lights neither a single lantern. The snowflakes are like big shimmering, every unique, jewels, falling down to earth. Maybe lost by some angels.
The corridor I am in now is filled with framed pictures of Shawn and Aaliyah, alone, together or with their family. Mostly, there are pictures of Shawn with awards I don't know or I do know, and some of him with famous persons. I can see Ed Sheeran and Wincent Weiss (a german singer) and Billie Eilish is also there. Wow. Could be probably really impress some people.
But not me. Not me.
Okay. I am impressed. But sadly, this doesn't change anything on how Shawn does act. Okay, maybe, this does change something. It does explain for example his arrogance, when it comes to normal people like me. - Before I can downgrade myself to a little, tiny and undeserving person, I am standing in front of Shawn's door. I can hear silent guitar sounds, and some melodic fragments. I lift my hand, to knock, but then, I stop. I'm just frozen, cause I hear some words, he's singing, I can't not hear. And they are sang so warm and with such a bittersweet, that I can't knock or just go away. I have to hear, what he's telling.
"Met you on a lovely summer day
Right behind the stage I sang my soul away
Thought you were the one for months
Didn't write any good songs
And I love, oh I love the way you saw at me that day."
I can't move. My feets are frozen on the floor.
For roundabout the minute, that I can't move, I'm just listening to this boy – and at this moment, it's just a boy – who's singing a wonderful lovesong for a girl. And that's not me. And that wouldn't I ever be.
That lovesong was adressed to Amy. Or maybe to Camila. As an ode on a gone (or maybe in the future again hoped for) love. It would be sang on stages in front of thousands of people. My heart starts beating faster.
It would be a great youtube-hit. And the whole world would listen this song on the radio. And every time, I wouldn't be able to enter any service-station or a coffeeshop, without hearing this song. I was gonna be tortured with the whole Amy and Shawn and Wattpad story for the whole next summer, and maybe for a much more long time.
I would always be reminded, that honesty and trust were some of the most worthy things in building and holding a relation-ship.
I breath in. And I breath out. And then, I decide to just walk down, as I have had tried to reach Shawn, but he wasn't reachable. Or maybe, I should state, that he wasn't in his room. Maybe, he was in the bathroom. - Yeah, even a famous singer-songwriter has sometimes to visit the bathroom. Followed by the guitar-strains, I go down the stairs. Now, very fast - nearly pressured by an more or less known power.