A/N - first day of uni was POINTLESS 😍
~~~
"Do you ever wonder how many black coffees you've consumed in your life?", I turned to Prescott with a deep frown on my face, I didn't know why they were all so infatuated with my liking towards the damn drink, "isn't it bad for your health?".
"A lack of sleep is bad for your health", I stared at him pointedly, waving a hand loosely towards his sprawled out appearance on the sofa, the duvet I'd forced him to cover himself with discarded in a ball at the other end.
"Touché", he muttered, facing the tv, "wanna make me a hot chocolate?".
"Can you, as a twenty-two year old man, not do it yourself?", I raised an eyebrow, returning my attention back to my own drink, "do I not deserve rest?".
"You're hilarious", he deadpanned, groaning as he got up and joined me in the kitchen; he'd seen better days. The greyish tone to his skin, the bags under his red eyes, the all-round exhaustion written all over his face...and yet he pushed me away every time I dared intervene.
So I settled for peace today, keeping my opinions to myself for once.
"Do you think Alexander's okay?", I asked my brother, watching him cock his head slightly and narrow his eyes, "we're seeing less and less of him". It'd been a week since the twins' seventeenth birthday and I could barely recall the small amount of conversations I'd had with Alexander since then.
"He's a teenager, we're meant to see less and less of him", he lifted a shoulder, "although he's been rebelling since before he was ten".
Wasn't that the truth?
"I know I'm probably worrying over nothing-,", I sighed and he dropped a hand on my shoulder.
"And worrying is in your nature", he filled in, I couldn't help but chuckle, "he's not stupid, he'll come to you if he needs you- now let me make my hot chocolate".
"For someone who barely moves from the couch, you're-,", I was cut off by the ring of my phone, dread filling me instantly when I realised it was the twins' school calling, "Zane Delgado".
"Mr Delgado, we're sorry to disturb you at this time, but would you be able to come down to the school?", I pinched the bridge of my nose and made eye contact with Prescott who was frowning at me, "we have Xander here, we think it would be beneficial if you got here as quickly as possible".
What had he done now?
"I'll be right there", I ended the call and groaned, sipping my coffee, "that little shit".
"What's he done now?", Prescott mused, at least he found this funny. Grabbing my keys from the counter I groaned again, raking a hand through my hair and sipping my coffee again. They'd left for school a fucking hour ago.
"I'm about to find out", I sighed, giving him one last nod before leaving the room- give me strength.
~
"Alexander showed up to school twenty minutes ago", forty minutes late, "and instead of going to class, he was found smoking in the toilets".
"You'd think they've strapped a fucking camera to me", my brother slumped further into his seat and snorted, "aren't we just proud I didn't have a fight?".
"Alexander", I warned him, he knew damn well he was on thin ice with me, with school, just about everything at this point, "so truancy, smoking on school property, his punishment?".
"Two day suspension", the words didn't even make me blink anymore, nor did it get a reaction out of Alexander, "and we think Xander having meetings with the school counsellor and behavioural team would be beneficial".
"Yeah, that'll happen", he laughed, "they do jack shit for me, I'd rather poke my eyes out with-,".
"Alexander", I warned him once more, twisting a ring on my finger, "enough".
"So you're on board with this?", he scoffed, shaking his head incredulously as I ran my tongue along my teeth.
"Did I say that?", I turned back to the teacher, "I don't think that's necessary, he won't be cooperative and I can't say they've been of any use up until now". Alexander snorted, attempting to mask it with a cough the second I glared at him.
"Very well", the teacher nodded, "is Alexander still attending therapy outside of school?".
"Nope", my brother rolled his eyes, "I don't need it, so stop trying to force shit on me".
Him claiming he didn't need it wasn't exactly the truth, the only reason he was no longer in therapy was because his therapist of eight years, Wren, had quit her job when she became pregnant. My brother claimed he'd only go if she was his therapist, so there wasn't exactly a lot I could do about that.
"That'll be all", I rose from my seat, needing to get out of here before they decided to expel him instead; he sure knew how to keep me on my damn toes.
~
"You're proud it wasn't a fight, right?", Alexander wiggled his eyebrows at me the second we were in my car, "you swear you'll drive me back for my car later?".
"Mhm", I confirmed, "will you tell me where you were for forty minutes if I ask?".
"No", he replied and I snapped my mouth shut, "but I was in school, just not in the building".
"That doesn't help me at all", I muttered, squeezing the wheel, "is all this sneaking around harming you in any way?".
"No", he scrunched his face up, "you worry too much".
"I'm worrying because I barely see you anymore, you don't tell us anything, you expect us to believe you're fine?", my voice was rising in volume and I knew I needed to tone it down, getting angry with him was the last thing I needed to do- for his sake and my own.
"I am fine!", he snapped, the heels of his palms digging into his eyes, "why can't we just leave it at that? What do you want? Photographic proof? My location at all times? I'm not a kid anymore Zane, never really was".
"I want to know that you're safe", the last word came out quieter than the rest, the whole car falling silent, "all I've ever wanted is you safe".
His jaw clenched, a fist squeezing in his lap, then turning into a flat palm, then squeezing again.
"I am safe", he replied just above a whisper, "I'm happy, for once in my life I'm happy".
Not what I expected him to say.
"And that's all I want", I reached over and squeezed his shoulder, "that's all I want to hear". Our brothers' suspicions that this was romance related was seeming more and more palpable, but I'd never be the one to push him to reveal something he really didn't want to.
~
"So this is what happens when I get into trouble now?", the grin on Alexander's face was worth it, worth potentially being deemed as a bad parent for taking him for food right after collecting him from school.
"That's not an invitation to carry on", I raised an eyebrow, "smoking? Really?". He took a bite of his burger and shrugged with a hum, I think being a delinquent ran through this boy's veins...and as he'd gotten older I'd become more and more certain that I wouldn't have him any other way.
"I'm not addicted or any shit like that", he said after a moment, "I just do it every now and then, when I'm stressed or shit". I stayed quiet for a moment, knowing he hadn't opened up at all to me any time recently.
"And it helps?", I asked, watching him clench his jaw and tilt his head slightly.
"Kinda, there are probably healthier outlets", he snorted, "but I don't exactly have a therapist anymore- and I don't want one, before you ask".
"You made a huge amount of progress with Wren", I smiled, sipping my orange juice and clearing my throat, "you know your mind better than anyone else, whatever you feel is best I'll be on your side".
"I don't feel like I know my mind sometimes", he shook his head, "it's loud as fuck in there sometimes Zane, I don't know what I'm doing most of the time".
"And that's absolutely fine", I assured him, "I feel the same way sometimes, with my anxiety". He nodded twice, his face taking on a more vulnerable expression as he lowered the remaining half of his burger onto his plate.
"The panic attacks?", he asked, I nodded in reply, "have I ever made you have one?". This seemed like a truthful conversation, and apparently my silence gave him his answer.
"You may have stemmed it, but I make myself spiral", I told him, "don't ever blame yourself, I'll never blame you". He nodded slowly, staying quiet as he took a bite of his burger yet again.
"I promise I'm okay", he muttered after a few minutes, "I just need time".
"And you have an endless amount of it when it comes to me", I assured him, "as long as you need".
~
"It's weird, not having Chase home", Alexander admitted the second we pulled up at home, eyebrows furrowing a second later, "who's fucking bike is that?". I frowned too, my gaze focusing on the motorcycle parked up outside as if it belonged to someone who lived here.
Please don't tell me Caleb had brought one.
"Only one way to find out", I shut off the engine and opened my door as he did the same, the pair of us heading inside and listening to the sound of a particular voice that had my eyes rolling.
"What the fuck are you two doing here?", Alexander jabbed a finger at our twin cousins who were sitting on the sofas like they owned the place, "how'd you get in?".
"We stole Marco's key", Elijah shrugged as if it were nothing, "he's having a post-birthday lie in". It was our cousin's twenty-fifth birthday yesterday and we'd done absolutely nothing to celebrate.
Marco wasn't one to celebrate.
"You stole Marco's key", Ezekiel rolled his eyes, cracking his knuckles, "he told me we were going on a ride".
"That's your bike? Since when?", Alexander raised his eyebrows, "where's Scott?".
"Asleep upstairs I assume", I lifted a shoulder, still baffled that these two had broken into my home, "why aren't you two at school?".
"We're off sick", Elijah said to which I hummed, he even went so far as to cough, "see?".
"Believable", I replied dryly, "when did you acquire that death trap?".
"This morning", he beamed from ear to ear, "don't hate on it till you've ridden it".
"So my turn is when?", Alexander asked and I huffed, so much for the conversation we'd just had about his safety being my priority.
"Right now", Elijah shrugged, "come on". Without so much as a glance back the two of them disappeared, so I settled on joining a quiet Ezekiel on the sofa.
"And I thought Xavier and Alexander were opposites", I mused, watching a small smirk tug at his lips, "you're doing okay?".
"Mhm", he nodded once, "uh, sorry for breaking in I guess".
"You're welcome any time", I shook my head, peering over my shoulder, "hungry?". I watched his whole demeanour switch in the blink of an eye. He stiffened, cheeks flushing as his fingers trembled against each other, a sharp shake of the head coming from him.
"I'm okay", he declined and I hummed, squeezing the sixteen-year-old's shoulder gently.
"Breathe", I commanded quietly, his eyes closing as he took a slow breath in, an even slower one out, "you're okay".
"Sorry", a moment passed and he winced, "I uh, I don't know what happened".
"Nothing to be sorry for", I wasn't sure what had just happened exactly, and I wasn't particularly close to my youngest cousin, so I didn't know how to approach the situation appropriately.
"Could I have some water?", he tugged the sleeves of his sweater over his shaky hands and cleared his throat, "please?".
"Of course", I stood, giving his shoulder one last squeeze before entering the kitchen and grabbing him a bottle, "can I ask you a question Ezekiel?". I lowered myself back onto the sofa beside him and handed him the drink, he finished about half of it before closing it and nodding hesitantly.
"Do I have to answer?", he asked, fiddling with the top of his water bottle frantically.
I felt it for the boy sometimes, both of his parents gone, a brother who...was Marco, and a lot more sensitive than the rest of us yet having been given the same traumatic start to life we'd all had- Ezekiel didn't cope at the same level some of us did.
"Not at all, tell me to fuck off for all I care", I gave him a small smile, "do you have panic attacks?". He stilled for a second, looking at me with green eyes that could only be described as melancholic, carrying way too much sadness for someone his age.
"Sometimes", he nodded, "I thought I was the only one at first, but Marco told me you have them too".
"I do", I nodded, thankful that my cousin had let his brother know he wasn't alone, "if you need someone to talk to..apparently I'm a motorcycle ride away". That got a laugh out of him. Ezekiel was simply trying to get by in a world that had done nothing but treat him- treat us awfully for the majority of it, it was no surprise he carried that sorrowful look in his eyes everywhere he went.
~
"That was the most beautiful experience of my life", Alexander came into the room with his hair completely dishevelled, a wide grin on his face for someone who was suspended from school.
"Sex is better", Elijah muttered from behind him and I rolled my eyes, "Z". He dropped onto the sofa beside his twin and ruffled his hair, then proceeded to rest his head on his shoulder.
"How was it?", Ezekiel didn't even blink at Elijah's close proximity, even going so far as to ruffle his hair back, "didn't hit any pedestrians?".
"You wound me", Elijah pressed a hand to his chest, "Xan wants his own bike now".
"And I want my brothers' bodies intact", I narrowed my eyes, "don't even think about it".
"We'll see", Alexander grinned, folding his arms, "we'll see".
They were gonna be the death of me.
~~~
A/N - the end is near cannot believe it 🧍🏾♀️🧍🏾♀️
Zane & Xan🥹🥹