Reggie left without seeing daryl's reaction, because quite frankly, he just wasn't ready to see it. it was as simple as that. whether the reaction would've been good, which would class as daryl asking reggie if he was okay, and maybe even as far as a hug - and the bad, being if daryl accused reggie of lying because he was just ashamed about hooking up with somebody like shane. he didn't want to be there to see that outcome. he didn't want to be there to feel that outcome. he didn't want to be there to feel anything, only wanting his bed in that moment. he wanted to take the pills, and he wanted to go to sleep. he wanted to sleep, and wake up to just realise it was all a bad dream. he knew that wouldn't happen, but it was nice to just sit and imagine it for a moment or two.
when he got back, he saw that everyone was moving into the house. he knew that hershel had been talking about it since what happened with dale. he said it was because of the cold, but he could tell that hershel had just grown fond of the group, particularly rick, and dale's death was an eye opener that they probably shouldn't have been sleeping in tents in the yard. it was like an open buffet for the dead. reggie wasn't the fondest about the living under the same roof as shane situation, but it wasn't like he could say anything without telling people the reason why. telling daryl was enough for one day. reggie would just make sure that he locked his bedroom door before going to sleep at night.
"get what you needed?" hershel asked, as reggie walked into the kitchen, seeing everyone's stuff on the living room floor. daryl was yet to come into the house, though.
"yeah," reggie said, shuffling on his feet. "sorry 'bout that, by the way. i didn't mean to just storm off. i should'a said bye."
"yeah, you should've. it's all right, though. you can make it up to me by going to feed the horses." hershel said, putting a hand on reggie's shoulder with a harmless smile. it didn't seem so harmless, though, because the horses were in the stables. and the stables were where that happened.
"the stables?" reggie raised his eyebrows, making hershel furrow his own. when reggie was younger, feeding the horses was his most favourite activity. now, it seemed like he didn't want to.
"is there a problem with that, son?" hershel asked. reggie wasn't ready to tell another person about what happened to him, so he just gave his dad a small, fake smile as he nodded his head.
"no, no problem. i'll do it now." reggie said, nodding his head. hershel gave him a smile and a pat on his shoulder as he walked away. reggie put his sword on the kitchen table, before walking out of the house and making his way to the stables.
reggie walked slowly on the grass as he approached the stables, and his mind was going faster than it had ever gone before. as he got closer, the memories were just spilling into his head and it just didn't feel great at all. he didn't want to be near the stables, or in the stables, but he also didn't want to tell anyone else what shane did. deep down, reggie knew he didn't do anything wrong, and he didn't choose to do it. however, further up in his head, he was embarrassed about it. he was embarrassed because he was too weak to fight shane on it, and all he did was cry and let shane take advantage of him. he didn't know why he did that. it wasn't fair on himself, because in his mind, it was something he could have stopped. he could've hit him, he could've done something.
it sucked, because reggie knew that no matter where he went, he would always be in that stable. he would always feel shane's hands in places that he didn't want them. he would always have shane's face in his memory, and he would always be traumatised. no matter how many days, weeks, months, or years that went by, or no matter how many people he met and spoke to, shane would always be there. just there. in his mind and on his boy and it just fucking sucked. reggie hated it.
"hey, are you all right?" lori asked, seeing the shaking of reggie's hands. she was stood with carl and sophia.
"yeah, i'm all right." reggie lied, nodding his head with a small smile. "are you? must be better now y'all are movin' in."
"we're good, very good. i'll be here if you need anything." lori replied, putting a comforting hand on reggie's arm before walking away, sophia and carl trailing not too far behind her.
reggie ignored the slight pain in his chest, before he continued his walk to the stables. when he reached it, he stood outside. he took a deep breath, trying to remember that he had been in those stables so many times before, and nothing bad had happened to him. he'd had one bad experience in there, and that didn't mean that every other experience from then on was going to be bad. he just had to keep reminding himself of that. so, with a deep breath and a clench of his fist, reggie walked inside the stables, ignoring how his throat felt like it was going to close up.
however, before he could even reach the food, he felt somebody grab him from behind. he startled, his heart almost coming to a stop as he tried to scream, but a large hand threw itself over his mouth, making it almost impossible to breathe, let alone speak. again. reggie tried to fight this time. he kicked his legs and threw his arms around, but it was no use. he was weak, and his body was in pure panic mode. he wanted to scream. he wanted to yell, he wanted to do everything. again, though, the only thing he could do was cry. he tried clawing the large hand over his mouth, but it didn't move. it stayed there.
"stop moving. stop fucking moving!" a hushed voice said, making reggie's eyes widen as he instantly recognised it. shane. "i don't wanna hurt you, yet, but i'm gonna have to if you don't stop!"
reggie couldn't even do anything when shane pulled him out of the barn, his hand still on reggie's mouth until it was replaced with duct tape and his hands were tied up with some kind of rope. he didn't even want to be conscious during that moment. he didn't want to have to experience it awake. he wanted to just drop dead, or he wanted shane to knock him out or something. anything that meant he didn't have to feel what he felt last time. he dragged him into the woods, and that's when reggie saw somebody else, too.
"that's randall. i'm joining his group, going far away from here. the group— your group, it's messed up. i ain't staying with y'all. if i do, i don't even know what i'd do." shane said. reggie looked to his side, and saw that the boy was in fact randall.
"what— what are we doin' to him?" randall asked, looking at shane, before looking back at reggie. reggie could see that randall was very panicked. it wasn't hard to see.
"killing him. can't risk him running his mouth about me to the rest of the group." shane replied, causually. reggie's breaths instantly picked up their pace as he tried to shuffle backward, but shane got him before he could. reggie was panicking so hard.
"h—how are you gonna do that?" randall stuttered, looking at shane. "you gonna do it right here? it's—it's risky, man. i don't—"
shane just grabbed reggie again, as reggie tried to hit him whilst he was dragging him up, but it was no use. they walked further into the woods, or in reggie's case, got dragged further into the woods. he didn't want to cooperate with the walking. he wanted shane to get too annoyed and leave him there or something, but it just wasn't happening. he was scared, he couldn't breathe, his mouth felt like it was dry, and tears wouldn't stop spilling from his eyes because he was just so scared. he was just trying to think so hard, what the fuck did he ever do wrong to deserve this?
"i can't wait for you to meet the group, man. it's a tough bunch of guys, you're gonna like it with us." randall said to shane, as he continued to walk with a limp. reggie's mouth was still covered.
"less talking, more walking." shane said, pushing him a little.
"i run my mouth when i get nervous. can't help it, i got a lot goin' on, ya know?" randall replied, making shane roll his eyes.
"yeah, it ain't all about you." shane answered, looking back at reggie with a certain look that he couldn't pick apart. reggie didn't like that. the last time he couldn't read shane's expression, it didn't end well. reggie had never been so scared in his whole life.
"i ain't sayin' it's all about me, i'm—"
randall was cut off, because shane dropped his grip on reggie, and walked closer to randall. reggie took his as his opportunity to try and slip out of the rope on his hands. he saw a knife in shane's back pocket, and all he needed to do was grab that. he needed to think strategically, and not panic, because he only had a matter of time. however, when shane literally snapped randall's neck, that's when reggie really began to panic. he had fooled randall, so who knows what he would do to reggie. reggie had never seen a murder before. it wasn't something you saw casually every day. it made him want to throw up, but he didn't. he needed to be strong, and he needed to save himself. he needed to get back to the farm and warn them all that they had a fucking psycho on their hands.
so, with the new found strength from watching randall get killed, reggie began to really tug on the rope. it felt like hours, but in reality, it was a mere couple of seconds before he slipped the rope, pulled the tape from his mouth, and he ran like his life depended on it. he didn't know where he was running, because he was too panicked to see where shane had actually taken him, but he ran. he just ran, and he didn't stop. he didn't stop for anything.
he didn't stop, until shane literally jumped on his back. reggie gasped as he flew down to the floor, shane's entire body weight on top of him as he sat on reggie's torso, before pushing his fist straight into reggie's nose with the most force he had ever felt. he coughed out in pain, but he wasn't giving up. he wasn't going to die like that. he wasn't going to let shane kill him. he was going to fight. he had to fight. he was going to kill shane. he didn't want to kill somebody, but killing shane was the only thing he could think of that would keep the rest of the group safe.
"i told you not to fucking run, and now it's gonna be worse." shane grumbled, before hitting reggie in the face again.
shane grabbed his knife from his pocket, and held it to reggie's neck. reggie was panicking, again. he thought on impulse, before he grabbed the knife straight from shane's hand and stabbed him directly in his shoulder. shane let out a yell, rolling off reggie. reggie took that as an opportunity to run, but it wasn't that easy. shane grabbed him again, his fist instantly coming into contact with reggie's face again, at least four more times until the corners of reggie's vision were becoming black, and he felt like he was seeing stars. he could feel that his face was wet, which meant he was most definitely bleeding all over.
shane didn't stop the punches until reggie's eyes closed, and his body was limp. in his mind, reggie was dead. he was about to be the good guy again, because reggie wouldn't be able to tell anyone what he did if reggie was dead. shane would be the hero again. he finished it off one last time with a stab straight into the thigh.
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after reggie told daryl what shane had done, daryl was in a slight state of shock, and he felt terrible. he couldn't even sit there and try to imagine how reggie felt, because it made him feel too sad. he wanted to find reggie, and he wanted to just tell him it would all be all right, and that he was there for him, but he couldn't. he didn't know where reggie had gone. he had been searching all over the farm for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. it had began to get dark out, and daryl decided that if he didn't find reggie by the time it was fully dark, then he was going to go out and look for him, because he wasn't letting reggie go missing. no way.
in the meantime, daryl was also looking for shane. he was going to kill him. the second daryl saw shane, he was going to kill him. he didn't know how, but he knew that he was going to do it. there was no one single soul on that entire planet that was able to hurt reggie in the way that shane did. he didn't show it all the time, but he was protective over reggie. he would kill for him, and to think of reggie so scared and so defenceless made him angry. it didn't make him sad, it just made his blood boil. maybe he did hurt him sometimes, but he would never do anything intimate to reggie without his permission. he would never strip him of his dignity like that. he would never. never. ever. ever. he hated shane for it. he hated how shane even had the audacity to do it.
"you all right, man?" rick asked, coming closer to daryl who was pacing around the farm, opening all the little doors and stuff.
"can't find reggie. need to tell 'im somethin'." daryl replied, trying to act casual about it, even though his brain was going 150.
"we can't find randall, either." rick suddenly said, making daryl raise his eyebrows. that was a whole other problem on their hands. "think there's a chance they could've gone together?"
daryl scoffed at rick, angrily. "he ain't fuckin' stupid. no."
"the door was secured from the outside." hershel said, like he was trying to say that maybe reggie did let randall out.
"he ain't stupid enough to let someone like randall out of a shed, you know that." daryl pointed to hershel. "this is just some big coincidence, 'cause there ain't no way he let him out."
"he's right, daddy. reggie wouldn't do that. he ain't stupid." maggie said, giving daryl a nod before looking at hershel.
"maybe he got stressed, went for a walk or something. he hasn't looked the happiest, recently. he looks like he's been struggling. i saw him earlier, asked him if he was all right. he was pale, he didn't look good." lori said, a frown on her face.
misty furrowed her eyebrows with a large frown, turning to daryl. "is he gonna die? i don't want reggie to die, he's my friend!"
"he ain't gonna die, misty." daryl replied, "he's fine."
that's when daryl heard shane shout, as he came out of the woods. it took everything in daryl to think strategically and not pounce right on him, stabbing him over and over again in the chest. he felt like his blood was boiling so hot that his head was about to burst, but he also knew that reggie wouldn't want him to yell at shane in front of everybody, because what happened wasn't daryl's story to tell, and he knew that. he knew that if he was going to kill shane, he would have to do it away from everyone. but, with shane on his way out of the woods, daryl had a slight gut feeling that maybe, shane had taken reggie and randall, that's why they were both gone. he didn't believe a damn word that came out of his mouth.
"what happened?" lori yelled back to shame as he made his way over to the group. daryl made a fist, trying to keep calm. he was all bloody on the nose, and had a wound on his arm that he had patched up with some ripped fabric from his shirt.
"he's armed!" shane yelled back. who? reggie? "he's got my gun! little bastard just snuck up on me, he clocked me in the face!"
"was reggie there?" misty instantly asked, making shane look at her. the look of shane all bloody really scared misty, actually.
"reggie? no. i ain't seen reggie." shane replied. even reggie's name on shane's tongue made daryl want to kill him more.
"all right. hershel, t-dog, get everybody back in the house. glenn, daryl, come with us." rick ordered. misty shook her head.
"but what about reggie? why ain't we finding reggie?!" she asked, angrily tugging on the bottom of daryl's jacket.
"we will. findin' randall is more important right now," daryl lied. finding randall was not more important to him than finding reggie, but that's what the group wanted to hear. "we'll find him."
"no, daryl! go look for 'im, now! he could be hurt, an' it ain't fair! find 'im! go find 'im, now!" misty began to yell, making daryl sigh.
"we're gonna, mist. go back to the house with hershel. now." daryl said, making misty groan loudly, kicking his shin, before walking away. maggie walked to her, trying to console her as the rest went.
daryl didn't know much about how to love, or how to care, because he had never been shown that before. parents usually paved the way for their child to learn to love, but not daryl's. his dad taught him that love was a waste of time, and it was good for absolutely nothing. maybe, though, daryl was feeling differently. his dad said that he would never be able to love, but maybe his dad was wrong. because one thing that daryl did know, amongst all the things that he didn't, was that he was going to find reggie. he was going to find out what happened, and he was going to hurt anybody that ever hurt reggie, because reggie didn't deserve the hurt. reggie deserved nothing but good. reggie deserved the world. maybe daryl couldn't give him the world, but he could protect him. he could fight for him. he could teach him to be strong.
maybe, just maybe, he would be able to prove to reggie how much he actually cared about him, not by hugging him, or by giving him sweet forehead kisses, or holding his hand when they walked to places, but just by being there when reggie was hurt. he could show him how much he meant to him by being his protector.
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author's note🪩
this was longer than i originally thought
it was going to be, so i'm gonna split it into
two as i don't want the chapters to be like 6k
words long. i don't think anybody wants that