Chapter 25
Instructor Chen Feng always remembers September 26th.
July is full of fire, summer is gone and autumn is coming. Liangcheng has a pleasant climate and the sky is high and the air is cool.
At around three o'clock in the afternoon, he suddenly received a call from the headquarters of the peacekeeping force stationed in East China. It was from Luo Zhan, saying that something serious had happened to Li Zan.
He was injured by a human explosive bomb at close range, and his life hung on a thread.
Luo Zhan had no more news at the time. He just asked him to be mentally prepared and notify Li Zan's family.
When Chen Feng heard the words "notify family", he understood the seriousness of the situation.
That afternoon, Chen Feng was almost crazy with anxiety. He was looking for people everywhere to ask for help. It took until late at night to piece together the entire clue.
Li Zan was too close to the explosives and passed out on the spot. He was sent to a nearby field hospital for rescue. He suffered intracranial damage, broken ribs, punctured liver, and broken legs, not to mention multiple organ damage and open wounds. . If it weren't for the protective suit, he would have died long ago.
The order from above is to rescue people no matter what. The capacity of the field hospital was limited, so the local military immediately used helicopters to transport the patient to the capital of a neighboring country, summoned the best expert doctors to operate, and performed rescue operations for more than ten hours.
Li Zan was seriously injured and was in a coma for a week before he woke up. Then his injuries recurred and he fell into critical condition several times. It took more than half a month before he gradually stabilized and returned to China.
A month later, the injuries elsewhere on the body gradually improved under the treatment of top doctors, but the hearing loss in both ears was severe. The superiors hired the best experts to treat him. However, after repeated surgeries, although there were signs of slight recovery of hearing, severe tinnitus and dizziness almost destroyed him.
The experts tried again and again, but were at a loss.
He is like a machine that has been repaired again and again, approaching its limit.
Now, three months have passed in the blink of an eye. The United States is his last straw.
It was just after Christmas, and it was freezing cold in New York City.
Chen Feng stood in the hospital's slowly ascending sightseeing elevator. Downstairs was the bustling street of New York City. The street had a festive atmosphere, but he had no intention of looking at the scenery.
Li Zan stood next to him, looking into the void with an expressionless face. The scenery outside the window passed through his eyes like running water, leaving no trace.
Chen Feng suddenly remembered that when Li Zan was just sent back to China, he lay on the hospital bed day after day, clearly awake but with his eyes closed, unwilling to have any communication with the outside world. For many days, he didn't say a word. It wasn't until a nurse changed his clothes that Chen Feng saw the scars on his back that were as dense as spider webs. It was shocking and he could vaguely imagine what he went through at the moment of the explosion.
Chen Feng said: "Ah Zan, don't be afraid, it will be cured. Jackson is the best ear surgeon in the United States. The surgery he performed on you before was very effective. Can you hear a little sound? Take your time. ,Will be fine."
Li Zan didn't respond and remained motionless.
Chen Feng held his shoulders, turned him around, and asked, "Are you not wearing a hearing aid?"
"Wear it," Li Zan said.
Chen Feng took a closer look and found that there was indeed a small flesh-colored hearing aid embedded in his right ear.
Chen Feng didn't say anything more. He was about to sigh, but he held it back.
The elevator arrived and the two of them walked out.
Dr. Jackson has been responsible for Li Zan's treatment a month ago. This time Li Zan came here to undergo surgery again.
After examining Li Zan, he said: "It is very difficult to return to the previous state, and it will take a long time to recover. But we take our time and make plans based on the recovery situation, and strive to improve every operation." I have a little bit of hearing, and try to achieve the functions of daily life through hearing aids. As for whether I can leave the hearing aids, it depends on the future effect."
Li Zan suffered from pneumonia due to physical weakness some time ago and has not completely recovered. He coughed twice and said, "Right now, what affects me more than my hearing is my tinnitus and dizziness."
"How frequent and intense are the symptoms?"
"There will be one every hour..." Li Zan opened his mouth, his eyes a little obscure, and whispered, "The sound is very loud, like explosions all the time."
Dr. Jackson couldn't help but frowned slightly, but then smiled and said: "There will be some tinnitus and dizziness during the recovery period. You are very weak now, which will also affect the recovery effect. Don't be anxious, take your time."
After the meeting, Li Zan was taken to the ward by the nurse.
When he left, the military doctor glanced at Chen Feng.
Chen Feng was left alone and asked the doctor: "Is something wrong?"
The military doctor sighed: "The last operation I performed on him was actually very successful. As I said just now, there will be tinnitus during the recovery period... But judging from the condition he described, the severity he felt has exceeded To the extent that I see it medically.”
After Chen Feng heard this, he felt his scalp was going crazy. He rubbed his forehead vigorously and asked, "Does this mean that you can't do anything?"
Jackson said: "I'm wondering whether Second Lieutenant Li... has some psychological problems that hinder his subconscious recovery; or in other words, intensify the symptoms he feels."
Chen Feng said: "He is a bomb disposal soldier, but he was injured by a bomb. He will definitely have psychological shadow. Now, whenever he comes across bomb disposal, or just thinks about it, his head and ears will be in pain. ."
The military doctor said: "Many bomb disposal soldiers I have seen have this situation. Being injured by a bomb at close range will leave a serious fear. However, with his level, I suspect there may be other reasons. You don’t know. … No matter what, I suggest you try some other treatments and approaches.”
"Okay. I'll pay attention. Thank you."
Chen Feng came out of the doctor's office and walked to the ward. Just as he was about to open the door, he heard a sudden sound inside, like someone kicked the wall hard.
This is very unfamiliar to Chen Feng.
He stopped outside the door and looked inside through the glass.
Li Zan stood by the window with his head raised, his jaw clenched, his chest heaving violently, and his fists clenched tightly. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath and walked a few steps to try to control something, but the pain in his heart could not be relieved at all. He bent down deeply, held his knees with his hands, and breathed heavily as if he was about to vomit.
The next second, two or three drops of bright tears hit the floor.
Chen Feng was startled, but Li Zan quickly stood up, holding the back of his head with his hands and pacing messily by the window.
He walked around, almost helpless, holding the window sill with both hands, lowering his head and continuing to control his emotions. Suddenly, he couldn't hold back a cough. He couldn't hold back the cough anymore, and he covered his mouth and started coughing violently.
Chen Feng immediately pushed open the door and went in, took out the medicine from his bag and gave it to him.
Li Zan coughed until his face was red. He forced himself to drink a few mouthfuls of syrup and swallowed a few pills before he could restrain himself a little.
From the moment Chen Feng came in, his expression became much calmer and calmer, but he was so tired that he had no strength left, so he fell on the bed and closed his eyes.
Chen Feng originally wanted to comfort him with a few words, but he knew that Li Zan would not listen.
He actually wanted to know what happened that day. He didn't understand how a professional bomb disposal soldier like Li Zan could be injured by a human bomb at close range in that situation.
He glanced at Li Zan on the hospital bed. His sleeping face was silent and his hearing aid had been removed.
Chen Feng sighed slightly and closed his mouth.
……
That day, Song Ran washed her hair and rinsed the foam out of her hair. As soon as she combed her hair, a large ball of messy hair fell on the floor. When I combed it again, there was another lump.
She later realized that she had suffered severe hair loss during this period.
At noon, she went to the barber shop to get her hair cut.
The barber confirmed again and again: "Are you sure you want to cut your hair short?"
"Yeah. If you don't cut it, all your hair will fall out."
"Cut it to the base of the ears?"
"Um."
The barber made a few gestures and said: "The base of the ears is too short. It doesn't suit you. Make it a little longer. To the middle of the neck?"
"also."
After cutting my hair and going to work, I immediately attracted onlookers.
"Ran Ran cut her hair short? How brave you are." Xiaochun has waist-length hair, which she cherishes so much that she is reluctant to cut it no matter how busy she is at work.
"Does it look good?" Song Ran touched his hair.
"It looks good." Xiaoqiu said, "Short hair is very elegant... However, when others cut their hair short and look mature, you look smaller."
Song Ran didn't quite adapt to it. She inadvertently scratched the ends of her hair several times while working, thinking she still had long hair. After touching it, I realized that it was really cut off.
She has been back to work for more than two months, but her working condition has not been good.
She suffered from insomnia more and more often. At first she thought her body had not recovered, but after a few months, her insomnia did not get better. This left her a little exhausted during the day. She could barely cope with domestic news on weekdays, but whenever news about the war situation in the Eastern Kingdom came up, she felt very uncomfortable. But now she has become a star in this field, and any news and programs related to Dongguo cannot avoid her.
As soon as I got to work today, I came across news that government troops had recaptured the northeastern suburbs of Hapo City.
Song Ran saw the familiar scene of the suburbs of Hapo in the video, and the scene on September 26th rushed to her like a flood.
She lowered her head and rubbed her eyes. At this time, Liu Yufei hung up an internal call and came over, saying that the Minister of Information was looking for her.
Song Ran washed his face and went upstairs.
The minister smiled when he saw her: "Reporter Song, did you get a haircut?"
Song Ran touched her head sheepishly: "Yeah. It's convenient to wash your hair."
"Very good. I called you here to tell you that for this year's Dutch International Press Prize and the Pulitzer Prize, two of your photos will be sent to the competition. One is a carry, and the other has not been named yet. Wait. Get up."
He turned the computer screen around. It was the one where the children were waiting for candy.
Song Ran saw the face of the extremist and the smoke coming out of his clothes at a glance.
A child's soft voice sounded in her ears:
"Madam, do you have candy"
If she didn’t bring candy that day, and if all the reporters before her didn’t bring candy, would the suicide attacker’s candy easily attract those children? Or is the result the same?
"Have you thought about it?" the minister asked with a smile.
Song Ran came back to her senses and reflexively said: "Candy."
"CANDY?" The minister praised, "This is a good name. It fits perfectly. By the way, Candy or Carry, which photo do you think is more likely to win the prize?"
Song Ran said nothing.
"I think it's candy. Regardless of the composition, color tone, characters, hidden story events, and just the right timing...it's wonderful." After the minister finished speaking, he looked at her, "Reporter Song, do your best, we will be here You should be a big news reporter and focus on training.”
Song Ran was stunned.
What a big news reporter means is that she will be given the greatest support and freedom to choose the hot social events she wants to interview and expose, and she will also be given the greatest recognition and authoritative support for her remarks and records.
"Thank you, Minister." She was short-circuited and couldn't say anything else, "Thank you."
"You deserve it all. But being a reporter is not easy. You have to continue to work hard, continue to pursue and explore the truth, and continue to maintain a rigorous and sincere heart."
"I will." She said.
Song Ran walked out of the office and stood there for a while, her thoughts a little blank.
She saw her own shadow on the glass window. As she looked at it, she felt inexplicably ashamed and ashamed. She didn't dare to face it. She turned around and walked quickly to the elevator.
"Ding!" The elevator door opened.
The moment they stepped forward, Song Ran and Shen Bei inside were stunned at the same time, and then put on polite smiles at the same time.
After not seeing each other for several months, Shen Bei has changed a lot. When she went to the entertainment department, she looked more fashionable and sophisticated than when she worked in the news department.
Song Ran walked in and the elevator door closed. The two stood side by side.
"Long time no see." Shen Bei said.
"haven't seen you for a long time."
"The new hair style is great."
"Thanks."
Silence fell in the space, and the snow-white light shone on the two of them.
One second, another second,
The awkwardness that both of us could clearly feel was finally broken - the floor was here.
The two immediately smiled at the same time,
Shen Bei: "Come up and play when you have time."
Song Ran: "Okay. Goodbye."
Song Ran got out of the elevator and quickly walked into the office area. As soon as she sat down, she flipped through the information and finally found the phone number of the Security Department, which she left when she contacted Chen Feng for an interview a few months ago.
She pressed the number in one breath and dialed it.
The person who answered the phone was not Chen Feng.
As for the whereabouts of Chen Feng and Li Zan, the answer was that they were military secrets and there was no answer.
Song Ran put down the phone and looked out the window at the bleak and gloomy winter, feeling dazed for a long time.
She actually checked the Hapo bombing incident, but could not find any information about Li Zan.
She couldn't contact Luo Zhan either - a group of troops had been replaced at the peacekeeping station, and they didn't respond at all to the incidents involving the previous troops.
It’s been three months.
She never thought that in this era, it would be so easy to completely lose contact with someone.
After get off work that day, Song Ran ran to Luoyu Mountain without giving up.
In winter, the mountains are cold and desolate, and they are all covered with fallen leaves. Soldiers were standing guard outside the security department, and she went up to ask about Li Zan. The response was silence.
She was so stubborn that she squatted at the door and waited for a long time, hoping to catch Li Zan coming in and out.
Of course it’s fruitless.
December is over and the new year is here in a blink of an eye.
The temperature in Liangcheng has dropped sharply again, and the cold wind blowing from the river can blow the cold moisture into the cracks of the bones.
In the humid and cold south, air conditioning cannot do anything.
Song Ran had to turn on the electric stove when working at home, but even so, her fingers typing on the keyboard were so cold that her bones became stiff.
The writing of "The Floating World of the Eastern Kingdom" was not going smoothly. When she opened the manuscript, she just couldn't write a decent sentence.
During this time, her condition was getting worse and worse. I can still hold on while working during the day. When she was alone at night, she would often sit by the window for hours without realizing it, unable to fall asleep even if she was lying in bed.
In the dead of night, she felt like an isolated island in the dark night.
And Li Zan on the other island seemed to have disappeared. His comb, his apples, his red rope, his dance in the moonlight... everything disappeared without a trace like the white olive grove in the desert that day.
Disappearing with him were all the joys and sorrows of the Eastern Kingdom, and everything that happened on September 26th.
That tragic past was tightly sealed before it could be cleared up and resolved, and she could not mention it to anyone. Because they have no experience or witness, they don't understand - it's just a war, there's nothing that can't be overcome.
The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same. Therefore, she was the only one who was locked on an isolated island, watching people singing, dancing and playing the flute every night on the passing cruise ships.
On the first weekend of January, Yang Huilun asked her to go home for dinner.
It was a cold and rainy day, and the traffic was jammed.
Song Ran sat in the car, listening to the sharp sirens that sounded frequently around her. At first she was just uneasy, but gradually she became bored and had a headache. Those sounds were like knives, cutting into people's nerves.
She was depressed for no reason and wanted to scratch the windshield with her bare hands.
Song Yang called and asked her where she was. She said there was a traffic jam.
Ten minutes later, Song Zhicheng called her and asked her where she was. She said there was a traffic jam.
Twenty minutes later, Yang Huilun called and asked her where she was. She said there was a traffic jam.
Half an hour later, Yang Huilun called again.
Song Ran lost control for a moment: "I told you countless times that there is a traffic jam, why are you urging me! Don't call me next time if you are so impatient!"
She hung up the phone, shaking with anger. But after getting angry, he regretted being too rude and unable to regulate his emotions, but vented his bad temper on his relatives.
When I got home, it was half past seven in the evening.
Song Ran's steps were heavy as she went up the stairs, feeling uneasy. When I walked to the door of my house, I opened the door and went in. The house was quiet. Song Zhicheng was sitting on the sofa reading news on his mobile phone, Huilun Yang was heating food in the kitchen, and Song Yang was video chatting with her boyfriend Lu Tao in the room.
Everyone is waiting for her to eat.
Song Ran's eyes wet and she felt even more guilty.
"I'm back."
Song Zhicheng put down his cell phone and went to the kitchen to help serve the dishes. Song Yang also hung up the phone and slipped out and called her affectionately: "Sister, are you not motion sick?"
"……kind of."
"Let's drink a cup of hot water first."
"Um."
The four of them sat around the table to eat. Song Ran was a little embarrassed and remained silent. Song Yang, on the other hand, kept chattering when talking about his work. She works as a clerk in a small company, and her salary is not high. Her monthly salary cannot cover her expenses.
But she was willing to go to work with peace of mind. Yang Huilun was very satisfied and said that as long as she worked well, she would be rewarded 500 yuan a month.
Song Yang snorted: "What can you do with five hundred?"
Yang Huilun said: "You only have a little over two thousand a month, why do you still dislike it?"
Song Zhicheng asked Song Ran: "I read on the news that your station is going to send the photos you took for the competition?"
Song Ran said vaguely "Hmm".
"Don't tell me such an important thing, just to make me happy."
"I was busy and forgot." Song Ran said, "There are so many photos competing from all over the world, so you may not win the prize."
She couldn't imagine the kind of attacks and abuse she would suffer if she really won the award.
And she couldn’t tell whether that photo was anti-human or not.
"I think I will definitely win the award." Song Zhicheng said.
"I think so too," Song Yang said, "Foreign media are publishing pictures taken by my sister."
"What kind of prize?" Yang Huilun didn't understand.
Song Yang said: "It's amazing. The Nobel Prize in journalism."
"I knew Ran Ran would be promising. You, learn from your sister. If you mess around day by day, I think you'll get better in the future."
"My sister will become a famous person in the future. Am I still afraid that she will not have a good life?"
"I know how to talk."
Song Ran ate the meal without saying a word.
After dinner, Song Zhicheng found CANDY's photos on his mobile phone and wanted to analyze them with Song Ran. But Song Ran said she was a little tired and didn't want to talk about work.
Song Zhicheng didn't force it, he just kept saying that she was promising and was sure that she would win a prize.
In the kitchen, Yang Huilun and Song Yang quarreled again, still about the marriage. Yang Huilun felt that Lu Tao could not afford a house, and that the betrothal gift given by Lu Tao's family was too small, so he scolded Song Yang for being unfair. Song Yang thought that there was no need for betrothal gifts now, so Yang Huilun was selling his daughter.
There was a lot of quarrel.
Song Ran saw this and left early.
On the way home, the phone rang. It’s book planner Luo Junfeng.
Song Ran rubbed his forehead, took a deep breath, and hung up his headphones: "Hello?"
In the past few months, Luo Junfeng has been paying attention to various reports that Song Ran was involved in, such as peacekeepers, refugee camps, and border lines. At the same time, he also paid attention to Song Ran's own news, knowing all about her injuries, fame, and controversies.
Because of his understanding, he was even more looking forward to the completion of "The Floating World of the East". Based on his intuition, he believed that it would be a good book that would cause huge repercussions in society.
But Song Ran told him the truth. She was in a bad state and couldn't write anything.
Luo Junfeng asked: "Can't you write the manuscripts you usually work on?"
"I'm not very focused. But if I work hard, I can write it."
"Can't you write this book?"
"Um."
"How about looking back at the text and video materials recorded in Dongguo?"
Song Ran was silent.
"You didn't look?"
"...Hmm." She never touched that memory again.
Luo Junfeng was silent for a while and asked, "Song Ran."
"Um?"
"Do you feel that you have failed this country, especially the people in your photos?"
Song Ran drove the car and didn't answer.
"Have you seen a psychiatrist since you returned to China?"
"I'm fine."
"I stayed in the battlefield for two months, witnessed several battles and civilian casualties, and a massacre, was injured by explosions, and suffered public attacks. Which one of them is not 'nothing'. I think it is 'nothing.' Like this." He said: "In your current state, you must see a psychiatrist. If you delay it any longer, I'm afraid something will happen."