**
Wednesday, 5th February, 1997
To say I was depressed for the first few days after the Slytherin party was an understatement. I was filled with shame, regret, and the most overwhelming urge to go back and refuse taking the drugs. I was never going to again, that's for certain.
Draco had been very supportive and understanding, and even most of the sixth-year Slytherins had gone out of their way to ask how I'd been doing, which I had to admit, I was very appreciative of.
I hadn't told any of the girls exactly what I did at the party and gave very vague and short answers to their questions the next day. Luckily, they didn't press me about it too much, and left it alone.
I was a complete mess the Sunday after, however. I spent the entire day in tears on and off. I have been ashamed of myself a few times in the past, but that was such a deep-heated, intense level that I'd never experienced before.
I couldn't face anyone that day, and Draco made sure that we were left alone. He said to me that he felt awful and would never ask me to do something like that again. He also told me he was ashamed too, because he should have put his foot down more and insisted I wasn't to snort the coke.
I was trying to look past it all now, just chalking it down to another life experience. At least I knew what it felt like, I suppose. I should tell my friends at some point, but it wasn't going to be any time soon.
No one spoke about how intense the comedown from using narcotics was. It was unlike any sadness or despair I'd ever felt before, it was as though it was seeping into my veins and would be a part of me.
I didn't end up returning back to my dorm room until around 4:00am, and if I knew we were going to be alone, I would have wanted to sleep with Draco in his dormitory again.
**
I was sitting with Hannah in Defence Against the Dark arts, and I had to use every effort not to turn around every five seconds to look at Draco. I wouldn't want to disrespect Remus in that way, and make it appear as though I wasn't paying attention.
"Now, today class, we'll be learning all about the dark creatures, Inferius, or Inferi," Remus paced up and down the front of the classroom, "Who can tell me exactly what they are?"
Everyone looked around the silent classroom at each other, and only Hermione's hand raised in the air.
"Yes, Hermione?" Professor Lupin gestured for her to talk,
"They're re-animated corpses of dead humans, sir. They're created with rather difficult spells, as well as the Dark Arts, and Necromancy," Hermione answered confidently,
"Well done, Hermione, ten points to Gryffindor," Professor Lupin bowed at her, "Can anyone tell me what substance the Inferi are exceptionally vulnerable to?"
Again, and unsurprisingly, only Hermione's hand was raised.
"Fire, sir," Hermione said, sounding pretty pleased with herself,
"That's correct, another ten points to Gryffindor. So, even though it's unlikely you'll come across any Inferi, it's useful to have a few fire-based defensive spells under your belt that you can perform adequately," Remus explained, "There's luckily quite a few you can have in your arsenal. You have Incendio..."
Professor Lupin's voice tapered off, and for the tenth time in the half an hour we'd been sat here, I was hit with another urge to turn around and look at my beautiful Slytherin boy, only this time, I was unable to fight against it.
As I glanced over my shoulder discreetly, my stomach rolled with lust and love as I noticed that he was already looking over in my direction. I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip as he winked at me.
"Excuse me, Maddie. Are you paying attention?" Remus raised his voice slightly and cleared his throat,
"Oh, yes, I'm so sorry, sir," I replied shyly, turning back immediately,
"Thank you," Professor Lupin nodded his head at me, "Now, when casting let's say, Confringo..."
"You two are so obsessed with each other, aren't you?" Hannah whispered in my ear, stopping my concentration once again,
"What makes you say that?" I whispered back.
Hannah pressed her lips into a tight line, looked up at Remus to make sure he wasn't looking over to us at all. She picked up her quill from the desk and flipped to the back of one of her notebooks.
"You're not serious, Mads? You can't be away from each other for more than like an hour. You would be attached by the hips if you could, wouldn't you?"
"We can stay away from each other, we've just gone through so much together, that's all. I love him so much, Han."
"It is sweet, I suppose. You know, I feel kind of bad because of what went down at Madam Puddifoots, I never wanted anything like to that happen. You do believe me, don't you?"
"Yeah, of course, I do. You're all so different to Draco, but I never thought it would end that way."
"We all wanted to apologise, but we didn't want to make matters worse. Do you like being with Malfoy, then?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
"Well... his father is a Death Eater, Mads... I thought maybe being at his house and surrounded by all of them, it might make you think twice about being with him."
"Draco isn't like that, Han. He's not the awful person you all think he is. He loves me, and I love him, surely that's all that matters?"
"Of course, babe! As long as he treats you right, that's all I care about!"
"Hannah and Maddie. Perhaps, one of you can answer this for me. What other dark creature do Inferi resemble?" Remus asked, arching his eyebrow at us both with a slight look of annoyance on his face,
"Inferi are similar to zombies, sir," I answered meekly, guilt pooling in the pit of my stomach,
"Very good," Professor Lupin's face softened, "Might I remind you both that passing notes to one another is not allowed, if you've something to share, do so with the rest of the class. And please, pay attention in my class,"
My cheeks burned with humiliation and my tummy twisted in on itself. A sudden and harsh pang of guilt hit me. I sat up a little straighter and made sure to concentrate fully on what he was saying.
**
Hours had passed, and thankfully, nothing had happened in any other class. Hannah didn't seem bothered by the fact Professor Lupin caught us writing to each other, but it made me feel awful. I'd have to be sure to apologise to him when I saw him next.
When I met up with Draco at break, the Slytherins all took great pleasure in lightly taking the piss out of me and laughing about me being called on in Defence Against the Dark Arts. That was my version of getting into trouble, after all.
Draco had to go and speak to the Quidditch Captain quickly, but I was meeting him in the Prefects common room. I was so excited to spend the next hour with him because it felt like I had barely seen him today.
Hannah was definitely right when she said earlier that we were obsessed with each other, and the thing was, I didn't care whatsoever. It's as though my capacity to love Draco still wasn't at 100%
It still didn't feel real. Me and Draco being in a relationship. I was afraid at any moment that I was going to wake up, and the past few months had never happened.
I got to thinking about our time together, and how things had progressed in just those eight weeks. Never in a million years did I think we would be proper boyfriend and girlfriend, let alone Draco reciprocating his feelings towards me.
Those first few weeks we were alone were difficult, and I could have easily given up, resigned to the fact we could never get along, even in a platonic way. But then that kiss in the library happened, and it changed everything.
I was sure it was just going to be a one-time thing, but it seemed as though I quickly got under his skin, and the best part of it was I had done so by being my true, genuine self.
He fell for me, and even though I still felt completely out of his league, he loved me for me, and not some idealised version of me.
Draco slowly shown his softer side and over time, he got more comfortable with me, and I gained his trust all by myself. I didn't have to bribe him, or manipulate him, or use him in any way.
"Hello there, beautiful," Draco said suddenly, taking me out of my thoughts.
He was walking straight up to me and immediately threw his arms around my waist. He pressed his lips on mine softly and a swarm of butterflies flew around in my tummy.
"I missed you," I confessed, nuzzling into his chest,
"I know, baby, I missed you too," Draco sighed, "I hate that I'm not by your side at all times,"
We sat down on the black sofa together, and Draco reached forward and grabbed his cup of black coffee that I'd kindly made for him. His other arm immediately fell around my shoulders. He did it without thinking, as if it was some sort of natural instinct.
"How did your Quidditch meeting go?" I asked casually,
"It was fine, just going through all of the techniques we all need to be working on. It's nothing you'd find interesting, darling," Draco shrugged his shoulders slightly,
"I find everything about you interesting," I told him honestly,
"You're too sweet, aren't you?" Draco chuckled, "I'm glad someone seems to think so,"
I reached up and held his hand that was draped over my shoulder and kissed his knuckles gently, pulling him even closer to me. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I decided to wordlessly tell him that I cared instead.
He kept our hands rested on my chest, still conjoined. He was slowly stroking my thumb with his.
"Anyway, what was all that about in Lupin's? You never get called on. I haven't had a chance to talk to you about it yet," Draco asked, swiftly changing the subject,
"I was just talking to Hannah, it was nothing too bad, but I still feel awful, upsetting Remus like that..." I chewed on my bottom lip,
"I don't like you calling him by his first name... or any man come to that-"
"Draco, he's our Professor, and a family friend. You don't need to feel jealous of him, you really don't," I interrupted him, hoping he believed me,
"I know that, but I still don't like it. My name should be the only one that escapes your lips," Draco bent down and kissed me quickly, "But back on topic, I'm sure he'll get over it, baby. Passing notes is hardly the crime of the century, is it?"
"I suppose not. Do you think he'll be mad at me for long?" I asked, my head cocking to the side,
"Doubtful. He's probably already forgotten. Since when are you such a bad girl, huh?" Draco snickered, kissing the top of my head,
"Do you want to know something Hannah said to me?" I said, my tone a little flirtatious,
"I don't care about a single thing that comes out of that annoying bitch's mouth," Draco clicked his tongue, "But enlighten me, love. What did she say?" he added in a much softer way,
"She said that we're obsessed with each other," I confessed, my dimples starting to protrude ever so slightly,
"Well, what would you know? The dumb cunt has got something right," Draco exhaled a breath of air out of his nose, "I am fucking obsessed with you, and knowing you're obsessed with me back drives me fucking crazy,"
"But I've been obsessed with you for years, you know I have," I said truthfully,
"Stand in front of me, baby. I want to show you just how obsessed with you I am, how you're the only thing that goes through my mind," Draco groaned, kissing my neck.
His hand dipped underneath the hem of my skirt and through the band of my tights. His forefinger found its way to my throbbing clit easily and I couldn't help but let out a soft moan.
"Draco, perhaps we shouldn't. Not here-"
"But you're so wet for me already, darling. We're all alone here, no one's going to know," Draco whispered against my throat as he kissed it, "Stand in front of me,"
I shuffled forward and Draco widened his legs a little so I could step in between them. He started running his hands up and down the back of my thighs and my arse, making my already wet knickers wetter. The way he was looking up at me made me feel powerful and his eyes were filled with lust and need.
He grabbed hold of the band of my tights and literally ripped the material in half. The sound of the material splitting echoed through the Prefects common room. My mouth opened in surprise as he then pulled my knickers down too.
"Draco!" I gasped, "You just ruined my tights,"
"Oh, fuck it. I can fix them easily," Draco said nonchalantly as he now kissed my thighs, "I want you to fuck my tongue until you can't take it anymore, okay? Take them off completely,"
Without hesitation, I did as he told me and kicked my knickers and torn up tights off to the side, leaving my legs and pussy bare, and myself slightly vulnerable.
He lifted my skirt up and the cold air hitting my pussy made me take a deep breath in. Draco wasted no time and dove his head in between my legs, using his middle and forefinger to spread my pussy lips and get better access to my clit.
I couldn't believe how wet I had gotten already. It was the affect he had on me though, and I think he got off on that more than anything I could possibly do to him.
Draco swirled his tongue all around my clit, like I was his own personal brand of lollypop. His thumbs were pressed on my slick folds, massaging them almost.
I let out a loud moan accidentally, which made me then bite down my bottom lip to stop myself making noise. It was difficult though because Draco was making me feel so good.
He then plunged his fingers into my aching core, they seemed to suck him in, and he loved that. Draco curled his fingers up and made a 'come hither,' motion. I desperately wanted to moan and let him know how much I liked it, but I daren't.
"Be as loud as like, my love, I don't fucking care," Draco muttered from my pussy, like was listening to my thoughts.
I took that quite literally and let go of some of my restraints. Draco used the flat of his tongue to lick long strips and then sucked on my clit, I let out another loud moan. Then another. And another.
He was shaking his head from side-to-side, as though he was feasting on my pussy. His fingers gaining more momentum and speed, as his tongue matched his movements.
"I think I could stretch this pretty pussy a little more, don't you think, angel?" Draco smirked smugly to himself.
I didn't even need to answer out loud because Draco knew what it would be. He then slowly added in a third finger, allowing me to get used to the sensation. It stung at first, but the more he licked and sucked at my clit, the better it felt.
I was clenching my hands slightly into a ball and then relaxing them, not knowing what else to do with them.
"Hands on my shoulder, baby," Draco instructed, again, it was as though he could read my mind.
Doing as he'd said, I sank my palms down onto my shoulder blades to brace myself.
The muscles in the pit of my stomach were contracting, and I knew I was close to climax. My hips began involuntarily bucking against Draco's face and pushed my pussy onto his mouth even more.
This must have gotten Draco's attention, because he promptly removed his fingers from my core and held onto my arse, his fingertips digging into my flesh and squeezing slightly. He could even more of a mouthful, and I was beginning to see stars.
"I want to be inside you so fucking badly," Draco grunted, "But first, I need to coat my fucking mouth with your cum,"
As he was whirling his tongue all around my clit and on the hood above it, I could feel my legs slowly turning into jelly. My nails were digging into his shoulders, and I was sure I was marking him by now.
"That's it, baby, I can feel you're close. Give it all to me," Draco murmured from between my legs.
He was being incredibly tender and loving whilst fast and giving at the same time. He was alternating between long and deliberate licks, to then lapping at my clit like there was no stopping him. My head was getting all fuzzy and my insides were twisting.
Draco must have known I was getting closer and closer to orgasm, because he was helping me grind up against his face, his fingers kneading my arse as he did so. My clit was throbbing, and I was absolutely drenched. I could feel it dripping down my thighs.
"Ahem," I heard someone else clear their throat intentionally,
"Eww... what the fuck?!" I heard someone else mutter.
My eyes pinged opened and a metric-tonne weight just fell through my stomach. I immediately stepped backwards and pushed Draco gently away from me. Draco's head then whipped backwards.
Parvati Patil and Hermione Granger were both staring at us with open mouths and a visible disgust written across their faces. It was clear they were judging Draco and I for what we were doing.
"Do you have to do that here? We all have to share this room, you know," Parvati sneered, her lips curled downwards, and her nose scrunched up,
"It is rather inappropriate, Maddie. Honestly, have some respect for other people, will you? We know you're together, but that's a little unladylike," Hermione said with the faintest indignation and shrewdness,
I pulled my skirt down properly and fanned it out to make sure I was completely covered up. Draco looked back up at me and knitted his eyebrows. I could see concern was plastered on his face. I then stepped forward again, feeling bad for possibly making Draco think I was ashamed of him.
"I-I'm sorry, we'll be more careful next time," I said in a very high-pitched voice, it came out more like a squeak.
My cheeks were burning more than they ever have done before and my eyes were watering. That was the most intimate way we'd ever been caught. I was literally a second away from cumming, and there was a mixture of disappointment, frustration, and humiliation swimming in my tummy.
Draco looked back once again at the two Gryffindor girls, and their faces instantly washed of all colour. I didn't even have to know the kind of snarling grimace he shot them, because I noticed how their faces dropped.
They soon scurried away, looking at each other before doing so. Draco must have gave them the sort of look that said, "you'd better fuck off right now before I hurt you."
I gingerly sat back down next to Draco and my hands were wringing in my lap. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. I wasn't embarrassed of him... just the way they'd seen us together.
"Are you okay, Madeline? I am so fucking sorry. Those bitches had no right to look or talk to you in that way," Draco cupped my cheek tenderly.
I nodded in response.
"Please look at me, sweetheart," Draco urged, his thumb stroking my cheekbone,
"I'm okay," I said quietly,
"I'm really sorry," Draco pressed his lips on mine softly, "I honestly didn't think anyone would come in, they never do,"
"It's fine," I swallowed deeply,
"Can I get more than a two-word response?" Draco chuckled, trying to lighten the mood,
"I'm the one who's sorry. I just didn't think anyone would see us like that... I was a little embarrassed," I muttered, chewing on my bottom lip,
"Do you want me to fix your tights and get you dressed again properly?" Draco offered, his eyes boring into mine,
"Not yet," I said truthfully.
I grabbed his hand and slid it back under my skirt, my humiliation slowly dissipating.
"You want me to make love to you, huh?" Draco said as he slowly played with my sensitive clit,
"Yes, please," I gasped with pleasure,
"Since you asked so nicely," Draco kissed me, "Lay back for me, baby,"
And so, that's how we spent the next hour. Draco was on top of me, slowly bucking his hips in and out of me, and making sure to keep at a slow and steady pace. He kissed me the entire time he made love to me, and he was so protective of me... like he always was.
**
Draco and I decided to skip dinner and focus on being with each other instead. I was truthfully starving, but I could always eat in the morning, spending time with my Slytherin was much more important.
If I got that desperate, I could even sneak off to the kitchens later on in the night, but if I drank enough tea, I was sure that would satiate me enough until breakfast tomorrow.
Being so late at night, just past curfew, I was hoping the common room would be fairly empty, like it usually was. But matching up with my luck so far today, the common room was quite busy still.
Not like it mattered much, I would soon be in my pyjamas and tucked up in my nice, warm, comforting duvet, hoping to sleep off this strange day.
"Ahh, Maddie, there you are. I need a word," Patrick announced loudly, making me stop still in my tracks,
"Yes?" I said, taking a deep breath,
"Can we go somewhere a little more private, please?" Patrick said, walking up towards me.
I turned on my heels and faced him. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Leanne was once again close to Luke, and they looked actually quite cute together.
"Can't you just say it here quickly? I just want to go to bed," I said a little more coldly than I meant to,
"Fine, if you insist. I don't want to say this to you, but I have to as my duty as Head Boy. Maddie, I need to remind you that use of the Prefects common room is a privilege, not a right. It is not to be used for – carnal – activities. Its sole purpose is for Prefects to hang out and for our meetings," Patrick said diligently,
"Merlin's beard," I laughed but with no humour, "Parvati and Hermione seriously told on me? Am I getting scolded like a naughty child now?"
"No, but I did hear. You of all people should know how quickly things get spread around this castle," Patrick replied quickly,
"Unless I'm mistaken, I was spending time with another Prefect in the common room," I said coldly, glaring at Patrick,
"Don't be so sardonic, Maddie. You know what I meant," Patrick took a deep breath, hurt flashing in his eyes,
"I really doubt I'm the first person to fuck their boyfriend in that room," I said boldly.
There were some audible gasps from people around us who were clearly listening in to our conversation. I had to admit, even I was surprised with how easily that came out of my mouth.
"You are, actually. At least you're the first to get caught. You know I'm not trying to upset you; I'm just saying this as your Head Boy," Patrick said, his voice pleading and apologetic,
"Don't talk to me like that in front of everyone else again," I knitted my eyebrows, "Even as the Head Boy,"
"You're the one who didn't want to talk in private-" Patrick cut his sentence short when he saw my face drop, "I'm sorry, Maddie," he added, his tone defeated and sad,
"It's okay, I'm sorry for making Parvati and Hermione uncomfortable, and I'm sorry for making your job worse for you," I said truthfully, suddenly feeling like the world's worst person,
"You could never make things worse for me, Maddie," Patrick said so quietly I wasn't sure if he meant to say it out loud, "I just want to be friends again, and I want to make the effort to gain your trust again,"
"I guess we could take things slow and work our way back to being friends, but you really hurt my feelings and insulted me quite a lot," I wrapped my arms around my chest,
"I know, and you'll never know how bad I feel for it. I miss you and having you in my life," Patrick said, his tone had a hint of optimism and hope,
"One step at a time, okay? I'll have to talk to Draco about it first as well, and if he doesn't want me being friends with you, then I can't," I said firmly,
"Of course, I don't want to make things awkward with Malfoy, even more than what they already are. I'll let you get some rest, good night, Maddie," Patrick smiled at me softly,
"Good night, Patrick. And I'm sorry once again, I'll make sure to be more careful when I'm with Draco," I nodded curtly, walking away quickly.