Rick, Glenn, Axel, Oscar, Daryl and I made our way further into the prison. I could still hear the alarm outside, but it was quieter, helping me think better. Walkers had infested the prison, and we had to take down walker after walker after walker. It never seemed to end.
"Lori! Carl!" Rick called, looking in each door we passed. "There's no sign of anyone!"
"They must have been pushed back into the prison!" Glenn reasoned.
"Somebody is playing games!" Rick spat. "We'll spilt up and look for the others. Whoever gets to the generators first, shut 'em down!"
"Lets go!" Daryl says.
Glenn and Axel break off from the rest of us, going right while we keep going forward. As we're running, a massive group of walkers builds up behind us, too many for just us four to take out.
"Daryl, get the door!" Rick calls, pointing to a closed door ahead of us.
Daryl sprints ahead and rams himself into the door. It falls open, and we run inside, Daryl shutting it behind us, and pressing all his weight on it to keep it closed. Oscar and I help too, him by keeping his elbow on it, and me by pressing both my palms into the centre of the door. It turns out we made it to the generator room, because Rick busied himself with figuring how to turn them off.
"How do you shut these down?" He called out to Oscar.
"Go help him!" Daryl said, and Oscar moved away from the door further into the room.
The walkers kept pushing on the door, and I kept my palms solidly pressed on the door, practically running in place to keep them there. Suddenly, I heard a commotion behind me. I didn't know what was happening.
"Help Rick!" Daryl grunted, straining to keep the door closed.
"What about you?" I asked. If we could barely keep it closed now, how would he do on his own?
"I'm fine! Help Rick!" He repeated. I hesitated for a few seconds, before letting go and running over to see what was happening.
I saw Andrew and Rick fighting for a gun, which was just out of their reach. Oscar was in the corner, not knowing what to do. It was pretty obvious that Rick was loosing, since Andrew had him pinned to the ground and was reaching for the gun. It's now or never.
I leaped into action. I raised my right leg and twisted by body, my leg going along with it, kicking Andrew across the face hard. He fell off Rick, but quickly recovered, standing up to fight. I turned back to reach for the gun myself, before I heard a click. Oscar had the gun. His hand was shaking slightly, pointing it between me, Rick, and Andrew.
"Shoot them both!" Andrew yelled at Oscar, his eyes wide. "We can take back this prison!" Oscar didn't move, the gun trained on Rick's face. My breath faltered in my throat. Was he going to kill us? "What you waiting for, do it! It's our house, shoot them!"
Oscar took a deep breath in, and so did I. Instead of shooting Rick however, he turned it on Andrew, and pulled the trigger. The sound of the gunshot bounced around the small room as Andrew's body fell. Oscar flipped the gun so the barrel was pointing away from Rick before giving it to him.
Rick took the gun, and that's when I noticed Daryl in the corner, poised to attack Oscar. He must've dealt with the walkers following us.
With the help of Oscar we shut down the generators, making the alarms go quiet. It was a relief, not hearing it screaming into my ears, even if some of the sound was still repeating itself in my head.
"Lets go." Rick said. "We'll deal with the body after we find our group."
--
We met up with Glenn and Axel in the corridors shortly after leaving the generator room. None of us had said a word, just quietly walking, keeping our weapons ready incase we need them.
We round a corner and see two walkers digging into a body, their faces red with blood. Most of the skin from the body had been eaten, but there was enough left for me to make out the face. T-Dog. I covered my mouth with my free hand. Don't throw up, don't throw up, don't throw up. In all the commotion I had forgotten about T being bit. And now here he was, eaten to death by rotters.
My emotions spiraled into a mess of anger and grief as I stabbed the machete into both of the walkers heads, watching them fall onto T's body. I had know T-Dog for 10 months, he had become someone I trusted, and now he was gone. Tears pricked my eyes, but I pushed them down. No one else was crying, so I shouldn't either. Crying was weak.
I felt a hand softly touch my shoulder, and I turned around to see Rick looking at me, his eyes tired and full of sadness. Daryl walked over to near T's body, and picked up a scarf that had been discarded on the ground, showing it to the group. Oh no, not Carol too.
I had known Carol for the same amount of time as T-Dog, a few hours less, if that even mattered. She was always quiet, scared of everything. But over the months on the road, she became almost fearless, ready to kill anything or anyone that put the group in danger.
That's what I admired about her, she overcame her grief and adapted, something I couldn't do. And now she was gone, and I was still alive. She should be the one living right now, not me.
Everyone's speechless, trying to let the situation sink in. We had lost two people from our group, maybe more, we wouldn't know for sure until we went back outside.
So that's what we did, walking through the corridors in silence, coming out onto the courtyard where Hershel and Beth still were. No one else had made it out though, which made my stomach tighten with anxiety.
"Hershel!" Rick called. Hershel turned around and began walking towards us.
"You didn't find them?" Hershel asked, looking at our group.
"We thought maybe they came back out here." Glenn mentioned.
"What about T, Carol?" Hershel said.
I opened my mouth to tell him, but I couldn't get any words out, so I closed it again. Daryl noticed I was struggling, so he stood forward.
"They didn't make it." Daryl said, no emotion, no indication that their deaths effected him.
That's what I needed to be able to do, but I couldn't. He loved Carol, more than anyone else in our group, more than me. Her death hurt him more than it did any of us, but he was able to stay strong. Whereas me on the other hand, I turned into a chaotic mess, not being able to think straight.
"That doesn't mean the others didn't." Rick said, determination in his voice. He was worried for Lori, and so was I. "We're going back! Daryl, Glenn, Y/N, you come with me..."
He was cut off by the sound of a baby's cry. But there was no babies in our group. Lori. She must've given birth. I smiled and turned around, ready to help her, but when I did, she wasn't there. Instead, it was Carl and Maggie. Maggie had a newborn baby cradled in her hands, which were covered in blood. Her face was stained with tears. I couldn't even see Carl's face, he was staring at the ground.
My heart sank and my smile vanished. No, not Lori too.
"Where is... where is she?" Rick's voice wavered, choking back a sob.
He started walking back into the prison, but Maggie reached out one of her hands and tried to pull him back, cradling the baby close to her chest.
"No, Rick, don't!" She cried as he kept walking, falling out of her grasp.
He didn't go back into the prison, however, putting his forearm over his face and looking up to the sky. A strangled sob came out of his throat. He looked across at Carl, who was still looking at the ground.
"Oh no...." He stared at Carl's gun. "No..."
Glenn walked up to Maggie and held his hand against the back of her head, comforting her.
The tears from earlier resurfaced, and I tried to hold them back, but I couldn't. T-Dog, Carol, Lori... The sob ripped its way out of my throat as the tears fell down my face. Weak, weak, weak. Luckily no-one was looking at me, too preoccupied with Rick. He was crying as well, before he fell to the ground and curled up into a ball.
Three people from our group, taken away by one fucking man. Three people that had become my family, three people who I loved. Gone. Never coming back. I moved away from the group slightly, wiping my tear stained face. Other than Rick and Maggie, no one else was crying, just staring at the ground or off in the distance in their own world.
While everyone grieves, the baby cries again, alerting us to a big issue. We have no way to feed it. Everyone seems to snap out of whatever unfocused state they were in. I wipe my eyes before anyone could see I was crying.
"Let me see the baby." Hershel says, using his crutches to move towards Maggie.
"We got anything a baby can eat?" Daryl asks.
"The good news is she looks healthy." Hershel declares. The baby was a girl. "But she needs formula, and soon, or she won't survive."
"No. No way. Not her." Daryl swings his crossbow over his shoulder. "We ain't losing nobody else. I'm going for a run."
"I'll back you up." Maggie said.
"I'll go too." Glenn added.
"Count me in." I said. I needed to clear my head, get out of there.
Out of the blue, Rick suddenly stood up, grabbing his axe and running back into the prison. A few people tried to stop him by calling out, but he ignored everyone.
Maggie, Glenn and I went down to one of the cars to prepare. Daryl came later, he was talking to Beth about something.
"You alright?" Glenn asked me. He must've noticed the red in my eyes.
I nodded. "Fine."
Glenn and Maggie shared a look. Obviously I wasn't fine, no one was.
"Come on, we're gonna lose the light." Daryl said, walking down to us. "There's a place on 85."
"No, the baby section's been cleared. Lori asked me to keep an eye out. I haven't had much luck." Maggie explained. Lori had asked me the same thing a month or two ago, but I completely forgot about it. I felt guilt pile up in my stomach.
"Is there any place that hasn't been completely looted?" Glenn asked.
"Yeah, but there's too much debris on the road. The car will never get through there." Maggie responded.
"I can take one of you." Daryl said, gesturing to his motorbike parked a little away from the cars.
"I'll go." Maggie and I said immediately.
"No, Maggie, after everything that you've been through, I'll go." Glenn retaliated.
"I want to go, for Lori, I have to." Maggie said. She turned to me. "And you, you're not going either."
"Why not?" I frowned, severely confused.
"Before Lori died, she asked for you to look after the baby if Rick couldn't." Maggie explained. "She said you had experience." I nodded. She continued. "Since my daddy hasn't looked after a baby in a while and Carol's... dead... and everyone else is inexperienced. You have to stay and look after the baby for her."
I sighed. She was right. It was unfair of me to leave with Daryl for my own benefit, I had to stay and looked after the baby like Lori wanted me to.
"I'll stay, both of you better stay safe out there." I said, to which Maggie gave me a sad smile before pulling me into a hug.
Daryl stood by his bike, watching us. I didn't expect anything else from him. He wasn't good at goodbyes, even if they weren't permanent. I pulled away from Maggie and gave Daryl a small nod, which he returned. That was enough.
"I love you, be safe." Glenn said to Maggie, kissing her softly.
"I will." She responded.
Maggie walked over to Daryl, and he got on his bike, Maggie sitting behind him and wrapping her hands around his waist.
I tried to ignore the jealousy building, there was nothing to be jealous about, but it built up anyway. Glenn and I watched as Daryl started the motorbike and they sped off, disappearing from sight. Glenn was the first to move, putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned to him.
"I have to start digging the graves for our people." He explained. "Go look after the baby."
I nodded and we parted ways. I went back into our cell block where the rest of the group had migrated while we were saying goodbye to Daryl and Maggie. I entered the cell block and walked up to Hershel, who was holding the baby.
He was holding her uncomfortably with one hand, trying to keep himself standing while also trying to calm the baby down, who was still crying. He looked up when I approached.
"Usually I'm good at getting them to calm down." Hershel said, rocking the baby gently. "Then again I haven't done it in 17 years."
"Can I try?" I asked.
Hershel nodded, and I grabbed the baby from his hand. I cradled her in my hands, she was so tiny. I was 10 when my baby brother was born, and my mother wouldn't let me near him until he was a year old. I was 21 now, so things were a bit different.
"Shhh." I hushed as I rocked her gently, putting one of my hands on the back of her head.
Her crying began to quieten. Her eyes which had been scrunched shut had opened, and she was looking up at me. I smiled sadly, she had her mother's eyes.
"You seem to be good at that." Hershel commented, leaning over. "You've had practice?"
"I had a little brother." I explained. "My mum would make me look after him while going out on dates with my step-dad."
"Step-dad? So you were half related to your little brother?" Hershel asked.
When I first got to Atlanta, everyone would ask questions like that. Did you have siblings? Parents? Are they alive? I would never answer any of them, but with Hershel, with my family, I wanted to.
"I was half related to both my brothers, oldest and youngest. Mum liked to remarry I guess." I shrugged. It had never been a problem for my older brother when he looked after me, so I didn't think it was a problem when I looked after my younger brother.
"You miss them?" Hershel asked.
I nodded, rocking Lori's baby. "A lot. But there's nothing I can do about it."
Hershel looked at me, wanting to say something, but he didn't. He put a hand on my shoulder before walking away back to his cell.
I sighed. "I guess it's just us two now huh?" I asked the baby, still rocking her. As I looked down I realized she was fast asleep, not a worry in the world. I wish I was like that.
--
I was sitting outside the sleeping area of the cell block on one of the tables, the baby still in my hand. She had woken up a few minutes ago and I hadn't been able to get her to stop crying.
"Shh, it's ok little one." I shooshed, rocking her back and forth. "Food will be here soon, don't you worry."
Maggie and Daryl had been gone for a few hours, enough time for the sky to turn dark. Worry was sinking in slightly, but the rational part of my brain knew there was nothing to stress about. They would be back soon.
I heard footsteps approaching. Turning around, I saw Carl walking towards me. He looked so sad as he sat next to me.
"You've been taking care of her for hours, I can hold her for you if you need a rest." Carl offered, looking up at me.
I shook my head. "It's ok Carl, you go rest." I told him, but he stayed put.
"She's partially my responsibility too, you don't have to carry the burden." Carl said.
"How is she partially your responsibility?" I asked, confused.
"She's my sister, I have to look after her when my dad can't." Carl clarified, frowning like what he said was common knowledge.
"No you don't, you're a kid. Even if she's your sister don't think you're forced to look after her when your dad isn't here. That's what the adults are here for. Of course if you want to look after her for a bit you can, but don't feel forced to."
He reminded me of myself when my older brother lectured me about caring for my younger brother. He's not your responsibility. He had said. You're just a kid.
Carl looked up at me again and gave me a small smile.
"Guys! They're back!" Glenn yelled, running into the room Carl and I were in.
Carl immediately stood up to go see them, but I had to stay put and try to calm the baby down. I was relieved that both of them made it back safely, I didn't want anyone else in our group dying.
The rest of the group, apart from Rick, came out of the cell block to gather around me and the baby. Maggie and Daryl walked in at a fast pace, Maggie going directly for Glenn, whereas Daryl aimed for the table I was sitting at.
"How's she doing?" He asked me as he dumped the contents of his bag on the table and began preparing baby food.
"She woke up an hour ago and I haven't been able to get her to stop crying." I said, slowly standing up and rocking the baby.
He grunted and mixed the baby food into a bottle with water. He shook it up and stood up straight, looking at me.
"May I?" I nodded and pressed my shoulder against his so I could pass the baby into his hands.
I tried to ignore the disappointment I felt when he had the baby and decided to pull away so our shoulders were no longer touching. He cradled her gently in one hand while holding the bottle near her face. She practically latched herself onto that bottle and began drinking the milk, her cries gone.
Daryl chuckled, gently rocking her while she ate. I smiled, he was really good with kids. Did he have a younger sibling? As far as I was aware he only had Merle. Maybe he had kids of his own? A baby? That meant he would've loved someone. No, that doesn't matter. Stop thinking about it.
"She got a name yet?" Daryl asked, glancing around.
"Not yet." Carl responded. "But I was thinking maybe Sofia. Then there's Carol too. And..." He paused and sighed. "Andrea. Amy. Jacqui. Patricia. Or... Lori. I don't know."
The room went quiet except for the baby who was digging into her food.
"You like that?" Daryl peered down at the baby. "Huh? Lil' ass-kicker. Right? That's a good name, right?" He looked around with a smile on his face. Hershel was laughing quietly with Carl and everyone else was smiling too. Daryl glanced back down at the baby. "Lil' ass-kicker. You like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?"
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A/N - Extra big chapter today to make up for like a week of no chapters. Also incase I haven't mentioned before: my oc is 21 currently and I've aged Daryl down to be around 21-22 (I hate age gaps). Another thing: younger brother has no name (since I'm lazy) but older brother does, which you will learn all in good time 😏