MAXWELL CROISX SILVESTRE POINT OF VIEW
THE sunlight touches my eyes in an excruciating way. I groaned in annoyance as I blinked my still blurry eyes. When my sight turned crystal clear, I gasped upon seeing my unfamiliar view.
The whole room is white. Starting from the ceiling, the wall, down to the white marble tiles. The furniture surrounding the room was the opposite of the interior color. I'm not good at distinguishing colors since I am colorblind, but aside from the black pieces of furniture, there are also bright colors.
A dresser was in the side, and a gray couch that matches the rug was found. There's also a white mirror attached to the wall and a life-drawing painting. Wala naman masyadong gamit sa paligid. But still, this room is too bright for me.
Hold up!
This isn't my room! My eyes darted on my bottoms as my eyes grew wider when I noticed I was only wearing my black boxer shorts. My hoodie and my pants weren't to be found!
I abruptly turned my head in the opposite direction when I heard the door bang from the wall. I was speechless when a beautiful woman appeared.
She had long, auburn-color straight hair that had curtain bangs, adding more emphasis to her face.
Her light brown fox eyes and her naturally red bow-shaped lips look perfect on her. Her eyelashes are thick, curled and long. She has a medium tan complexion, lifted cheekbones, arched eyebrows, and a small yet pointed nose. To sum it up, her face looks like it peered out of fashion magazine covers.
She has a supermodel factor and an overflowing sex appeal.
My eyes widened upon realizing who's the girl in front of me. I remembered her! She's the woman who maliciously gave me a lap dance in front of everyone last night!
What is she doing here?!
Don't tell me. . . I glance down at myself again. I'm not wearing anything aside from my boxer shorts! Then she's only wearing a robe! God knows what's inside that tiny robe of hers!
I feel like teary-eyed when I looked up at her. My heartbeat quickened when our eyes met. I don't know why my heart suddenly beat shamelessly. My emotions are overflowing: confusion, curiosity, fear, and bewilderment because of this girl.
"Did you take my virginity?!" I blurted out.
My frown deepened when I noticed her reaction. She bit her lips so hard, obviously to suppress a laugh. Why would she laugh at this situation?!
"Virgin ka pa?!" she snapped, looking at me with disbelief.
I nodded silently, controlling the tears to pool in my eyes.
I never did it to someone else. I am not embarrassed that I am still a virgin at my age. I do believe that virginity really doesn't matter nor diminish someone's worth. Moreover, I hadn't had a girlfriend since birth. Not because no one likes me but because I suck in communicating.
I have a hyperbrain and hyperthymesia. I was classified as a genius, but my EQ wasn't that high. I have poor social skills, and expressing my feelings vocally isn't easy for me.
Isa rin 'yon sa rason kung bakit wala akong kaibigan. I only have one trusted friend, which is Kier, and he's older than me. I am the youngest in our class, and all my classmates see me as their rival. Because of my high IQ, I was lack of friends.
I've been saving myself for my future wife, and this girl just took it. She's not even my girlfriend, to begin with! She's a complete stranger!
"We didn't have sex last night!"
I felt my heart clapped in triumph as I sighed in relief. I am still a virgin! I don't know If I should celebrate it or not.
But then our first kiss flashed in my mind.
I immediately blushed, so I covered the white blanket on myself so she couldn't see my cheeks. I pouted because I looked like a turtle trying to hide in its shell.
"But you still need to take responsibility for taking my first kiss!" I exclaimed after recovering.
"What do you want me to do?" I looked at her. She rested her hand on her small waist.
"I want you to be my girlfriend. . ."
She rejected me.
I was already dressed up and was about to leave when she stopped me by yelling 'wait'. I faced her, and our eyes flickered with each other.
"I'm Khriz. What's your name?"
I blinked when she introduced herself to me. Hindi ko inaasahan na magpapakilala siya. I thought I'd leave without knowing her name.
"My name is Maxwell Croisx Silvestre," I muttered, respectfully bowed at her and walked away.
The moment I stepped outside her unit, I roamed my eyes around the area. I scratch the back of my head upon realizing what's happening.
We're living in the same building!
Not just in the same building but on the same floor, too. So, that woman is my neighbor. My only neighbor on the entire floor.
Well, I owned the whole floor. Pati ang kabilang unit kung saan ako galing ay sa akin. Khriz's unit and mine were supposed to be constructed as one. But I told my parents that one unit was already big for me to live in.
My family owned the condominium building. Both sides of the family are rich. The Silvestre owns businesses in hospitality services as my mother's side, which is the Armstrong, has construction firms and an accounting company.
Does Khriz know that I am her neighbor? I doubt. Just thinking of her reaction upon discovering it makes me excited.
We met again on the elevator on the same day. I already expected that but never imagined it would be on the same day. But then she accuses me of stalking her.
Why will I stalk her? She's beautiful, alright. But stalking? That's not totally my thing.
"Oh my god?! You're my neighbour?!" she asked in realization.
I nodded. "Yes, I live in the next unit beside yours. I am your only neighbour."
"Oh my goodness. . . My bad for accusing you," she said.
I pouted. I don't know how to respond to her. I can't even get mad at her because whenever I look at her face, the brick in my heart melts.
I was making problem sets while listening to music when I heard a knock on my door. Who's that? I mumbled to myself and opened the door.
I felt my heart hammer against my chest when Khriz showed up outside my unit with a wide smile plastered on her luscious lips.
"Hi, here's pasta for you. . ." she offered the pink plate to me.
I didn't budge and just stared at her intensely. She's offering me a portion of food. That's new. Is this her way of saying sorry after accusing me of stalking her? This girl is really something.
My life has been a roller coaster ride. I was single for 20 years of my life, and then, in just a snap, a girl named Khrizanta Altamirano became my girlfriend.
I still remember the day when she barged into my door, looking terrified and even sweating hard. Her voice was trembling. Is she okay?
She took a deep breath before slowly opening her eyes. "I-Is your offer still up?"
I looked at her with confusion. "What offer?"
"I'll be your girlfriend," she answered right away, causing my jaw to drop.
Life is really unpredictable, and you never know what is coming next. Just like how Khrizanta asked me to be her boyfriend.
"I'll seal our relationship with a kiss," she stated before her lips captured mine.
It was just a peck, but my whole system was shocked to the core. I could feel my entire face immediately covered with blush because of what she did.
"You're now my boyfriend," she declared, grinning like she won in a lottery.
I finally have a girlfriend. . . Khrizanta is the plot twist of my boring life.
I knew nothing about relationships. I don't know how to be a perfect boyfriend for Khrizanta. I don't know where to start. Everything is new to me.
Well, I was so engrossed with my studies that having a girlfriend didn't pass in my mind.
I'm not rushing to be in a relationship. I know that I am destined for something big. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy or to experience a full teenage life.
I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of dating. I date to marry.
I am not going to waste my time or someone's life without planning to stay by her side for the rest of our lives.
I may not be perfect, but I promise that I will make our relationship work. I promise myself that Khrizanta will be my first and my last girlfriend.
Soon, she will be my wife.
Today is our first date as a couple. I feel nervous. I have never been on a date. Moreover, Khrizanta is intimidating. It's not because of our age gap. But because she has this aura that will make you shiver. She's so bold, fierce, and so beautiful that I always blushed and was speechless whenever she was around.
"Nice pants! What are they made of? Boyfriend material?" she said after shamelessly surveying me from head to toe.
I abruptly blushed, and she immediately grinned. This girl really has a sweet tongue! Hindi ko alam kung paano ko papantayan ang mga sinasabi niya dahil hindi naman ako gano'n magsalita. Maybe I just really need to get used to it.
"I had several bedmates and flings before," she confessed, which made me confuse.
"Bedmates? What are bedmates?" I asked innocently.
"Men who aren't my boyfriend, but I had sex with," she explained through muttering.
My eyes blinked, comprehending what I found out.
"Okay," I muttered after understanding.
"You aren't turned off that I am not a virgin anymore?" I could sense the change of tone in her voice.
I shake my head. "Your worth as a human being is not tied to a piece of tissue between your legs. No one should be ashamed of having sex because having sex is natural. Whose business is it, whether you are a pure or not? Exclusively yours, not mine or with other people."
Virgin or not, it doesn't matter to me. The rupturing of the hymen cannot deemed as a test of a woman's purity. Moreover, it's not anyone else's business if someone is still intact or not.
Women deserve to be loved not because of their bodies but because you want to be with them for the rest of your life.
My eyes widened when she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on my lips. Whenever I say something that amazes her, she will kiss me. It's not that I don't like it, but I might be addicted to her kiss.
Our relationship goes on, we became closer and closer each day. Every moment with her is a treasured memory. Whenever we would get close to each other, I would always get nervous, or a part of me was stirring up.
I still couldn't help but blushed and stuttered in front of her. She's too bold, and she makes my heart pound so loud.
I never had a crush with anybody not until she came. . . Khrizanta.
The only people who can get my attention are my favorite scientists— Einstein, Galileo and Isaac newton.
But the moment she snatched my book from me and sat on my lap to give a lap dance, I was astounded. For the first time in my life, someone got my attention.
"Gwapo mo," she praised me randomly.
I choked on my food, and my heart instantly beating shamelessly.
Except for my mom, no one had ever told me I was handsome. No one ever confesses to me, or maybe they're just too shy to tell that in front of my face since I look intimidating.
I tried remembering all the things she thought me for the past few days. All the books I've read and the videos I watched to be knowledgable.
I sighed and touch my lips when a flash of what we did last time crossed my mind. Whenever she kisses me, I feel like I'm in a cloud nine. Her lips are so soft and delicate— literally addictive.
I thought I would never see Khrizanta's vulnerable side. But she's here in front of me. She was crying in her sleep. I wonder what kind of dream she was having.
I brushed her tears away and kissed her eyes. "I'm here from you, babe," I softly whispered.
Khrizanta was hard on the outside and soft on the inside. She has a look that can kill but a cinnamon inside. She's bold and fierce, but she's a crybaby too.
I love everything about her, even the worst one.
I never knew Khrizanta liked legos. She shared a post about flowers assembled with legos. She finds it cute. So I made her not just one but over sixteen flowers made with lego.
Since the day I created an Instagram account, I turned on the notifications on Khrizanta's account. So I would get notified whenever she's posting something.
I want to support her in every way.
She posted on her story that she's hungry. I brought her food. She posted she loves lego flowers, so I bought every piece they have. She deserves to be spoiled.
Like how she deserves to be loved loudly. She deserves to be loved in any way she wants. And if I can be conceited for a moment, she deserves to be loved by me.
Even after months of being in a relationship with her, I still couldn't help but be amazed. Khrizanta is really mine. She's really mine.
I spent a weekend with her that mostly consisted of us cuddling in various spots around the unit, and I realized that even though we'd done absolutely nothing, I still thought of it as one of the best weekends of my life.
Whenever I am with her, it is like a whole damn zoo was in my stomach. Her smile radiates into me. Her touch sends little shivers through my body. Her presence pleases my mind.
She added colors to my grayest days.
Pumunta ako sa mall to buy a helmet for Khrizanta. I only have one helmet since I don't let anyone ride or touch my bike. I don't like it. My bike was solely for me. Except Khrizanta. She can ride my motorbike anytime she wants.
"Ano po hanap niyo, sir?" One of the male clerks approaches me.
"I'm looking for a helmet," I answered politely.
"Ano pong klaseng helmet, sir?"
"For my girlfriend," I answered as my eyes settled on each displayed. "Do you have a pink helmet?" I asked, glancing at him.
"Meron po, sir! This way po," he muttered and guided me somewhere.
I grabbed the helmet and showed it to my beautiful girlfriend. I was sheepishly smiling while looking at her.
"You don't have to pay for it. I bought the helmet because I want to, not because you ask me to." I said and slid the helmet over her head. I bit my lips before opening the visor so she could breathe.
I froze when she reached for my head and patted it. "Thank you, babe!" I couldn't see her mouth, but her voice was enough for me to determine that she was all smiles.
My heart did a summersault when I heard what she called me. I really love it whenever she calls me that nickname.
I got drunk. I don't want to look like a loser or kill joy by not drinking around her friends. I feel embarrassed because I became a massive headache to my girlfriend. I'm the man, yet I'm a weakling. Mas malakas pa uminom sa akin ang girlfriend ko.
I thought she already knew about me being a colorlind, but I guess not. I'm only wearing glasses because of colour blindness. I have protanapia, or blindness to the shade of red. I am unable to perceive any red light. The cones in my eyes only absorb blue and green light.
I hate red. . .
But when I saw Khrizanta— red became my favorite color next to blue.
Nagkaroon ng panibagong kahulugan ang kulay pula. Na ang pula ay hindi lamang para sa dugo o sa kulay ng puso. Just like red is a primary color, my life won't be complete without her, without Khrizanta.
Menstruation is painful, like a heart attack. When I saw Khrizanta having period cramps, my heart clenched. I don't want to see her in pain because it pains me, too.
Kung pwede ko lang kuhanin ang sakit, ginawa ko na.
All I had to do was to take care of her. I became her personal nurse for the whole week of her menstruation. That's okay. I love taking care of my future wife.
While I was studying, I received a message from her. I don't really touch my phone while studying because it only deprives my concentration, but now, I can't resist the urge to open it.
This is the time I can't concentrate on my lectures because of someone. That girl. . . She's totally inside my head. She corrupted my mind, including my heart.
It wasn't easy for me to figure out what I was feeling since this was new to me. But I think, this is not just a simple crush anymore. . . I think I'm falling for her.
So this is how it feels whenever a man comes with their girlfriend. I accompanied Khrizanta to the Photoshoot. I finished everything I had to do so I could be with her all day.
I couldn't help but be amazed at her when the shoot started. She's so professional! I took my phone and took a photo of her. I'll post this on my Instagram.
I am not a techy person. I don't even have social media at all. I only made Instagram because of her. I remember when I had to match her username so we really looked like a couple. I also don't post anything aside from her pictures or ours.
Some girls like it when their boyfriends post them on social media. I wonder if Khrizanta likes that, too? Nevertheless, I will always proudly post her because my girl deserves to be flexed.
It's normal to feel jealous, right? This is the first time I felt jealous in my entire life.
I have never been jealous in my life because I am always on top. Not until, I saw Khrizanta with a man.
The man kissed her on the cheeks!
I don't care if she calls me immature, but my feelings are valid. I feel jealous. Hindi ko siya pagbabawalan magkaroon ng mga lalaking kaibigan, but she should know her boundaries.
I raked my hair in frustration. This is our first misunderstanding, and I don't how to fix it. My emotions are overflowing.
Hindi naman ako galit sa kanya. I'm just hurt. . .
"You don't have to be jealous. He doesn't like me. I have a boyfriend, remember? That's you, Croisx." she tried lighting the mood.
I remained quiet as my expression was still blank. I didn't break our eye contact despite being too intense. I wanted her to learn that she's not the boss every time.
I froze in my spot when her hands found the string of my black drawstring pajama. My lips parted when I felt her hand on my bulge, rubbing it slowly. I swallowed as I felt my body weakened in her sudden move.
"W-What are you going to do?" I felt my throat dried in anticipation.
I bit my tongue to stifle a groan when she whispered in my ear. "I'm going to erase that jealousy of yours. . ."
At that very moment in my 20 years of existence, I reached heaven multiple times.
I couldn't still believe it when she measured my shaft with a ruler. Khrizanta is really one of a kind. I watched her as she measured my shaft, her reaction after finding out how big I was. Her eyes sparkled in happiness as she took me with her mouth.
She looks like a kid who's enjoying sucking her favorite lollipop.
I don't curse, but fuck! Khrizanta's mouth feels so warm and heavenly. The sounds of her gagged every time the tip of my manhood hit the back of her throat were making my hormones frenzied.
Being touched by her feels borderline euphoric. Only she can do this to me. Her effects on me are crazy insane. It's drowning me harder and deeper.
This is my first time going to a Halloween Party. I never liked parties because it was too suffocating, but today, I chose to stay and experience new things with Khrizanta. I was wearing a wizard costume, Harry Potter. On the other hand, Khrizanta was wearing a very sexy toy story costume.
I want to wrap a jacket on her so that her skin won't be exposed so much, but I don't want us to fight over her dress. She looks beautiful, okay, but I am feeling jittery. I don't want other men to look at her maliciously.
Hindi naman ako 'yong tipo nang boyfriend na pagbabawalan ang girlfriend ko sa mga gusto niyang isuot, it just that, some asshole sexualize women easily base on their clothes.
Well, I will protect Khrizanta from anyone, and I won't let anyone disrespect her in any way.
I'm so happy! She introduced me to her cousins. I felt how proud she was of me when she introduced me to her cousins. Just like her, mababait ang mga pinsan niya. I also found out that one of his cousin ay best friend ni kuya Zachariah. I remember him, Dwight Altamirano. Bumisita na siya sa bahay noon. I was around 10 when I first met him. They were classmates in high school together with Kuya Leoniel and Hunter.
"How much do you like my cousin?" Dustin Altamirano asked.
Khrizanta, alongside her cousins Hazel and Dahlia, went to the dance floor to dance. Naiwan ako kasama ang mga lalaki niyang pinsan. I could hear my heart frantically beat when Dustin menacingly looked at me.
I swallowed hard to gain the courage to answer despite feeling nervous but before I could even answer, he spoke again.
"Hindi ka makasagot?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Kuya, huwag mo takutin." Duke chuckled and gave me an apologetic smile.
I licked my lips. "I like Khrizanta more than I express," I answered, finally!
Dustin's eyes narrowed while Duke's lips stretched for a grin. Kuya Dwight shook his head, but the corner of his lips rose. Wala ba silang sasabihin? Does my answer did not meet their expectations? My mind suddenly filled with various thoughts when a sturdy arms draped on my shoulder.
"Welcome to the family, bro!" Dustin Altamirano announced.
She crashed her lips with mine again, and I gladly kissed her back with the same intensity. Her hand rested on my lower abdomen to ride me faster. I couldn't help but moan and thrust my shaft deeper inside of her.
"Fuck!" she cursed loudly when my shaft reach her sensitive spot.
The room earned a chorus of moans and curse words from both of us. Khrizanta didn't stop riding me until we reached the finale euphoria. I could feel my juices filling her feminity when we finally reach our limit.
So this is how it really feels like after making love.
I feel exhausted after a few seconds but feel so lively after doing it. I never knew about these feelings before.
It feels so warm. . . So wet and tight inside. Her tissues were suffocating and clenching around my shaft. It feels heavenly. I would love to do it again and again and again as long as it is Khrizanta.
My heart was shamelessly beating when I saw blood after we did it. She's not a virgin, but she bled. . . Then I remembered that not all hymen tore in the first intercourse.
Maraming lalaki na ang dumaan sa buhay niya pero ako pa rin ang nagwagi. I was the one who tore her hymen. God know how blessed I was to be her first.
Khrizanta is my first girlfriend. My first kiss. My first love. My first in everything. The first girl who ever made me feel something. I do not regret to give her my every first.
"My son looks so happy, huh?"
"Mom!" I hugged her tight. Mabilis siyang tumabi sa akin sa sofa, we're in the living room. I was watching my favorite show when she came to join me. "I'm so happy, mommy."
She brushed my hair, smiling at me. It was weekend, and I decided to go home to our mansion to see my parents. Sayang wala si kuya. He was in the States, taking his dream job in his dream company, Gensler.
"Care to tell me about it, bunso? It's been a long time since we had this heart-to-heart conversation. I miss having a conversation with you and your brother."
The smile on my lips didn't vanish. Instead, it grew wider.
"So there's this girl that caught my attention, Mom. She's so beautiful, sexy and eloquent, Mommy."
She clicked her tongue and teasingly pinched my waist, making me a jerk.
"Mommy!"
She chucked. "You know the word sexy now, huh?" My cheeks seared up. "Tell me more about this girl."
"I had a crush on this girl, Mommy. But these past few days, I think it's not a simple crush anymore. I think I'm already in love with her."
I gasped when she squealed. Dahil doon, bumaba si Daddy mula sa fifth floor gamit ang emergency slides namin sa bahay. When he spotted us, mabilis siyang tumakbo palapit.
"What happened?" Dad asked Mom worriedly.
I pouted while watching my parents exchanging sugary words. My father's laughter reverberated inside the living room when he found out why mom squealed.
"You're in love? I'm so proud of you, Maxwell. You're really my son," Dad tapped my shoulder.
"So what's the name of this girl you love, bunso?"
I couldn't help but smile when an image of her flashed in my mind. I looked at my parents and spoke, "Khrizanta po."
"I want to meet this girl, Khrizanta. When can I meet her, bunso?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, Mom. I haven't confessed about my feelings to her."
She looked at me and sighed. Dad sat next to Mommy as his arm was around her.
"You know what, son? If you love this girl, don't be afraid to take risks. Confess how you feel about this girl. Express your feelings openly and honestly. Everything will be worth it, son." Dad assured.
I was in the mall to buy material for my project when my eyes settled inside a jewelry store. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko at pumasok ako sa loob. The jeweler instantly approached me.
"Hello, sir! What kind of ring are you looking for?"
Hindi kaagad ako sumagot. I roamed my eyes around the area, mulling what am I doing here inside a jewelry store. Our monthsary is coming, and I want to surprise her with something special.
"Are you looking for a promise ring, sir?"
The jeweler got my attention. Promise ring? There's a ring for that?
I licked my lips. "I'm looking for a ring for my girlfriend."
"What kind of ring po ba? What colour, shape and stone are you looking for?"
My eyes blinked in haze. I don't know what to responds. Napansin yata niya na nagugulahan ako kaya sinamahan niya ako doon sa isang row ng mga singsing. I saw a lot of different rings inside the transparent glass.
"This is the promise ring, sir. The price starts at 1,000php, sir. Ito naman po 'yong mga wedding at engagement ring. These types of rings cost fifty thousand and up. We also have million pesos na nanggagaling pa sa ibang bansa." The jeweler explains.
My eyes look down at the transparent glass with different cuts and colours of rings. Until my eyes stopped in an exquisite sparkling red ruby almond-shaped diamond ring. This ring looks captivating.
Red diamonds are rare. It was so rare that only around twenty to thirty red diamonds are known to exist in the world. The majority of the world's red diamonds come from the Argyle Diamond Mine in Australia. I wonder if this red diamond ring is real?
I suddenly remember Khrizanta. She loves red while it was my least favourite because of my condition. . . But red symbolizes an intense and everlasting love just like how I feel about her. My heart suddenly thumps when an idea pops into my mind.
"How much is this ring?" I pointed to the ring that captured my attention.
The jeweler pulled out the ring and displayed it to me. "That's expensive, sir. Rare po kasi ang mga red diamonds at per carats po ang costing. This is also exported from Australia."
I stared at the ring before looking at the jeweler. "How much?" I asked again.
"It cost 25,075 for 1 carat."
"In Philippine peso?" I asked in confusion.
"Hindi po, sir! Dollars po, hehe. Kung sa peso po, teka lang po—"
"1, 404, 037 million pesos." I interjected.
The jeweler gasped in amusement. "Talino niyo naman, sir! Usually po, 1 carat po ang binibili ng mga costumer. 'Yon po kasi talaga ang pang engagement ring tapos sa wedding ring na lang po bumabawi ng mas malaking carat."
Napakurap-kurap ako, understanding every detail she said. I nodded when I absorbed everything.
"I'll buy it," I answered without hesitation.
I know that the amount of the ring cannot compare and prove a man's sincerity and love towards his partner. Khrizanta is also not materialistic. But I want the best for my girl. I can propose to her many times, but her first time must be special. The amount of the ring is just one-third of my love for her. The money I will spend is going to be worth it.
She gasped. "Talaga po?! Masyado pong mahal 'to, sir! Ilang taon na po kayo ba, sir?"
"20. . ." sagot ko at nanlaki naman ang mata ng babae. "Here's my card."
Her lips parted when she saw my card — it was a black card. Of course. Thanks to my parents, who gave it to me when I reached the age of 13. I mostly used my card instead of cash, but it doesn't mean I don't have cash in my wallet. I still carry cash just in case.
I was smiling while the jeweler was preparing for the ring. She put it inside a red velvet box before she finally put it inside a small paper bag.
I'll save the ring for future purposes. Maybe after I pass the board exam, I'll propose to Khrizanta. I may be young, but I am certain she's the one I want to spend my life with forever.
I can still remember how whipped I was when I first met her. I know this is cliche, but I fell in love with her at first sight.
I'm in love with Khrizanta. . . Yes, I do.
My feelings for her is overflowing. Pakiramdam ko ay pwede na ako malunod sa umaapaw na pag-ibig ko sa kanya. Hindi mababawasan, mas lalong hindi mawawala.
In a world full of variables, she's my only constant.
I will always put her first even if my worlds falling apart. I will make sure she knows how special she is, and that she doesn't need to put on the show for everyone else. I like her chaotic and emotional side. I like her mess. I love everything about her.
Even the night I confessed, despite not getting any response from her, my feelings were unstoppable. It's inescapable. I fell hard and deep. I lover her so much that my heart is gonna burst in any moment.
It took me a while to have the courage to disclose my feelings for her. I am scared by thinking of the possibilities once I confess my feelings. I don't want to ruin what we have right now and make things awkward, but Khrizanta deserves to be loved loudly.
I can't do that if I kept hiding my real feelings for her.
I never heard her say she loved me back. But I chose to stay. Not because I love her but because, even without words, I could feel she felt the same. Hindi siya umaamin pero pinaparamdam niya. Hindi siya sumasagot pabalik pero kabaligtaran naman 'yon ng mga kilos niya.
Khrizanta is in love with me.
After we had our intimate vacation in Palawan for celebrating another beautiful month together, we went back to the city, stronger and bolder ready for new a new challenges.
"Silvestre, Maxwell Croisx, Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering, Summa cum laude."
Everyone gave me a loud applause when they heard my name announced. Kier tapped my back, and I just nodded at him. I walked up on the stage to receive my diploma and medal. They took pictures before I walked towards the side of the stage for my speech. Shakily, I hold the microphone and look at every one.
I saw my parents together with my girlfriend, who was waving at me. A smile appeared on my face as my heart went frenzied when our eyes met.
No matter how much time passes, being with her makes my heart race in the best way I could ever imagine.
"I also want to mention a special person who inspires me a lot, my girlfriend. She's the reason I had enough confidence to explore new things and not be afraid to delve outside my comfort zone." I looked in her direction and smiled before I continued my speech. "With her, I have grown as an individual and be a better version of myself. She taught me that if you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. I'm beyond thankful that I was able to find someone like her. Thank you for coming to my life, mi vida."
That was the last sentence in my speech before I went down on the stage. The people were still clapping and cheering for me. Nang mapadaan ang tingin ko sa kanya, I smiled and even waved at her.
I prayed that our relationship last forever. Because I don't think I can still live happily without her by my side.
Every day with Khrizanta is a wonderful addition to my life's journey. Everything is so smooth. Everything is okay— Not until a ravaging wave of the past came back, creating chaos in our lives.
I was rushed to the hospital when the two bullets sank into my abdomen after saving Khrizanta from her obsessed stalker.
Khrizanta was crying. She feels guilt. But whatever happened, I will never regret saving her. I don't regret dodging the bullets for her. I will always save her until my last breath.
"I'm sorry for using you. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for everything, for hurting you. For endangering your life just to save mine. I'm really sorry."
I heard her loud and clear, but I remained silent, faking my sleep despite my heart shattered into pieces.
I knew from the start that she was using me. The day she asked me to be her boyfriend, doubts and questions carved in my mind. . . I have a hunch that she has a hidden agenda. I was right all along. I saw a crumpled card inside her unit.
My gaze went up from the card to the door of her room when I heard someone crying.
Napakurap-kurap ako at napaawang ang labi nang marinig ang isang pamilyar na boses. Khrizanta is crying. . .
I felt my heart clenched when I saw how puffy her eyes were. It's obvious she cried, yet she denied it.
Why? Why are you hiding your pain if I can just steal it away from you?
Her demeanour changed when she saw that I was holding the crumpled card. She looks scared and anxious. She's really hiding something from me, huh?
That day, my doubts and questions have risen. I did my investigation in secret. Hindi ko pinahalata sa kanyang may pagdududa ako. I asked the security team in the building to review the CCTV from the start of our relationship. And after seeing three different CCTV videos, I found my answer.
She was using me to lure out her obsessed stalker.
I should be hurting, But I didn't.
Because I was also using her. I was using her to gain experience and knowledge.
We used each other in a good way— It made our lives better. I feel more disappointed rather than hurt. Because I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
The thought of losing Khrizanta scares the hell out of me. My heart was clenching so bad. If I can only kneel down, I will do it. However, I can't. I was in the hospital bed, with a weak body and aching wound.
"Do you want me to give you assurance?"
I nodded despite my endless tears. My vision was blurry because of the tears from my eyes.
"I love you. . ." she confessed.
Those exact words was enough to make me feel numb. I don't understand why she's breaking up with me.
Gusto ko siyang sumbatan. Gusto kong itanong kung hindi pa ba sapat na mahal namin ang isa't-isa para manatili siya?
But I chose not to. I remained silent, and the only thing that came out of my mouth was my sobs. Sinubsob ko ang mukha sa balikat niya.
"I'm in love with you, Croisx. I do," she muttered, causing my heart to shatter again.
"I know. . ." I answered between his sobs. "I know. I-I'm just waiting for you to say it, but I never expected to hear it from the day we will part ways."
I shared many firsts with Khrizanta that I wasn't prepared for our last.
I thought our break up was the worst that happened to me, but when I saw Khrizanta getting plugged in with a lot of tubes after she had a car accident, my world collapsed.
I was blinded by my tears, but when I felt a familiar embrace, I broke down. I was bawling my eyes out because the pain was overflowing. My shoulders and my breath are shaking badly.
"Mommy, I-I only love one woman, and that's Khrizanta. I don't know what will happen to me if something bad happens to her." I cried and hugged her tight.
"I know, bunso. I know how much you're hurting right now, but the only thing you can do is to be strong. Be brave not only for you but for Khrizanta. Let's pray for her fast recovery, baby."
My steps were so slow. I feel like my legs have an invisible chain as they march so slowly towards the hospital bed. My heart contradicted in pain when I finally sat on the side of the bed, looking at the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
"Babe, it's me again. I miss you," I whispered and sniffed when my eyes pooled with tears. "Are you having a good rest, mi vida?"
Nanatiling tahimik ang silid at tanging tunog lang ng makina ang naririnig ko. I smiled bitterly as my tears finally cascaded down my face.
"It's been three months, babe. . ." my voice cracked. "Wake up, mi vida," I whispered, caressing her face. "I miss you so much."
Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya habang hindi inaalis sa kanya ang tingin. I held her hand and gently squeeze it, letting her feel my warmth.
"I won't give up on you, babe. I will forever hold on to you. I will wait for you to wake up, and I know you will because you are strong." I kissed her hand for a few seconds.
My lips parted, and my heart went wild when a teardrop fell on her eyes down to the side of her face. I kissed her hand multiple times, and a small smile crept on my face. She heard me! She responded to me!
"I will wait for you like how the sand waits for the sea," I whispered before I slowly leaned over to kiss her on the lips.
As our lips sealed with each other, the flash of our memories trapped my mind from the beginning until the end.
Our world crossed for a reason, and it was one of the most beautiful that ever happened to me.
Khrizanta is my rainbow. She's the one who fills the colours of happiness in my universe. I don't know what love is it until she came.
Khrizanta came into my life in the most unexpected time and place yet the best thing that happened to me.
She is a mix of sunshine and a hurricane, just like a rainbow after the rain: she makes everything feel okay.
That even after a disaster, a beautiful beginning will come along.
No matter where life takes us, my heart will always find its way back to her. Nobody on this planet could ever replace her in my heart. I love Khrizanta across any distance in the world even in another lifetime, I will find her.
Without her, my days will be colourless. There is no fun in living a day without her by my side.
END OF MAXWELL CROISX'S POV PART I.