New Delhi
Aarav's Home
11 pm
Aarav is having a walk in garden all alone. He was busy in listening music along with walking. Then he saw his watch and realised he should get back to his room otherwise he will mess up with his routine.
He was walking towards his room. He was walking in a calm and silent manner. So anyone else don't get disturbed due to his movements.
There was silence outside everyone's room except Vihaan's room. His room's lights was on signifying he is still awake. Aarav murmured ," he must be busy in video games" and then he moved forward.
It was a pleasant weather when he was roaming in garden but when he was coming back to his room the weather changed from pleasant to stormy.
Then he reached his room. He took out his headphone and took a deep breathe.
He was calmly sitting on couch then suddenly some dark and negative thoughts started surrounding him.
He was moving towards the table that is placed beside his bed and then suddenly a photo frame placed on that side table fell and broke down into pieces.He tried to pick that photo between those tiny glass pieces and ended up hurting his hand.
All this increased his restlessness and anxiety. He became tensed within few moments. Something had again started bothering him.
The window of his room was opened that resulted in strong wind gust to enter his room. Then he moved towards the window and closed it.
Then Aarav said to himself , " Ye jo mera ye kamra hai ye mujhe meri haqeeqat bhulne nahi deta kabhi bhi , Mujhe humesha yaha aakar ehsaas hota hai ki mein apne sach se kitna bhi bhaag lu par sachaai mere saamne aa hi jati hai".
Then he opened his cupboard and took a photo frame in his hand. There was deep pain and guilt in his eyes while gazing over that photo frame.
This emotional side of him is confined to a few people. His immense sadness was signifying that his past traumas had again freshened up.
Then he went to the table and picked up a bottle of pills which is anti-depression pills. He was about to take out one pill out of container and he ended up spilling all the tablets on floor.
Out of disappointment he spoke," Ye bhi hath se chali gayi pata nahi meri life mein koi end tak mere saath rahega bhi ya fir aise hi ye zindagi kat jaegi".
He said," Jis safar par mein chal raha hu shayad per thake ya na thake dil to ek din thak hi jaega or kash jis din mera dil intezar na kar sake wo mera is duniya mein aakhiri din ho".
Then suddenly his attention grabbed to a scar on his wrist. It was a cut scar which is later recovered but its scar remained intact.
He then hold his wrist with scar with other hand. He went numb after seeing it. He thought , " If i would have left to die that day then I don't have to suffer everyday in this pain.I don't have courage to live anymore ".
When the deepest wounds of the past are reopened then concealing these scars is like going through those tragic moments back which kills inside.
He is going through a lot in his mind. He sat beside one corner of his bed placing both his hands on his head.Tears were rolling down from his eyes.
He tried to gather some courage and got up to fetch a glass of water. But his hand was shivering due to dark memories roaming in his head.
The glass slipped from his hand and fell on to ground. Aarav was enough of it. He can't take it anymore. He can't control
his pain and feelings.
At this point of time he is mentally broke inside. He screamed ," Nahi ban sakta itna strong agar aise hi jeeta raha to ek din yu hi khud se mar jaunga".
Vihaan was passing nearby when he listened the scream of Aarav. He immediately rushed to Aarav's room. He went inside and got shocked after seeing the condition of room.
Aarav's condition was already at worst. He has been fighting depression and insomnia for the last 2 years .
This pain was unbearable for him by every passing moment. Vihaan immediately become tensed he immediately rushed to Aarav.
He asked , " Bhai aap thik to ho na or ye chot kaise lagi aapko ye khun beh raha hai apke haatho se kya hua aapko".
Aarav replied, " Agar tum logo ne mujhe uss din hi mar jane diya hota to aaj mein aise tadap tadap ke na jeeta mujhe marr kyu nahi jane diya ussi din ye kahani mere saath wahi khatam ho jati ".
Vihaan shook him and said ," bhai uss baat ko itna time ho gaya hai aap bhul jao wo sab samajh lo ye ek bura sapna hai". Aarav replied,"Jo tumhare liye bura sapna hai ye meri kadvi haqeeqat hai ".
Vihaan consoled him and said,"Aap apne aap ko sambhalo ek din sab thik ho jaega".
Aarav said ," Tum sab ki inhi jhuti umido se tang aa gaya hu mein nahi jhel sakta mein ab ye sab ye zindagi ab mere liye saja hai ki jo galti mujhse huyi hai uski saza mein mujhe ye zindagi dobara mili hai taki mein har lamha maru shayad meri qismat mein bhagwan ne yahi likha tha ".
While saying this he broke down into tears. Vihaan tightly hugged him and said ," kya haal bana liya hai apne apna mein apko aise nahi dekh sakta ".
Aarav said ," Wo jhuta dikhava dekh sakte ho jo mein sab ke samne karta hu ki mein wo sab se aage badh chuka or sab bhul ke nayi shuruaat karna chahta hu".
Vihaan said ," Hum to bas apko khush dekhna chahte hai". Aarav replied, " Meri khushi to ussi din mar gayi thi ab to mein zinda reh kar saja kaat raha hu. "
These were days
when you died a little
when your soul was trapped
in a corpse that breathe
when your smile smelled sorrow
but seemed brighter,
your eyes drowned
but they only praised its depth.
How strange these were the days
when you weren't you
but no one noticed.
Vihaan went to kitchen and fetched a glass of water for Aarav. He made him sit on the bed rubbed his palm which turned cold due to panic attack. He made him drink water.
He said ," aap pehle pani pi lijiye itne mein apki chot pe ointment laga deta hu". Aarav said , " Ye ghaav to iss ointment se tum bhar doge par jo ghaav mere mann mein hai uske liye koi dawa kyu nahi bnai gayi".
At this point of time even Vihaan became too emotional tears appeared in his eyes seeing his brother in immense pain.But all what he could only encourage him to have patience and stay strong.
Vihaan said ," Aapka bhai hai na apke saath mein apke har dukh dard baat lunga". He hugged his brother tightly and said , " Mere hote huye apko koi chinta karne ki jarurat nahi hai ".
Then he said ," Abb kafi late ho gaya hai aap so jaiye ab ye lo mein aapki medicine le aya hu ". Aarav took the pills then he slept after a while. Vihaan covered him a blanket and left from Aarav's room.
Then he came back to his room and now he was in deep thoughts he was thinking ," Mein bhai ko aise akele nahi chod sakta hu . Agar wo akele Udaipur chale gaye or dobara unhe aise panic attacks aa gaye to unhe kon sambhalega or agar fir unhone apne aap ko kuch kar liya to, agar maine is waqt unka saath nahi diya then i will definitely fail as a brother ."
He then decided to put a full stop on these thoughts and decided to sleep. He said , " Iska solution bhi kal subha uth kar niklate hai ". He went to sleep.
Next morning
Anirudh and Ragini's room
Vihaan knocked the door of his parent's room. Then he went inside. Ragini and Anirudh asked ," Beta tum itne subha subha yaha pe sab thik to hai na".
Vihaan said, " ha sab thik hai wo to mein ye batane aaya tha ki mein udaipur jane ya na jane ka decision le liya hai ". Anirudh said , " koi nahi agar tum nahi jana chahte to hum hume tum zabardasti nahi bhejenge".
Vihaan said , " Nahi mein jana chahta hu wo bhi apni marji se mein udaipur bhi explore kar lunga issi bahane or business wagrah ka bhi dekh hi lenge kuch na kuch warna Aarav bhai to hai hi ".
A smile appeared on his parent's face. They said," We are so happy ki tumne humari baat maan li par waha apne bhai ko jyada pareshan na karna ajib harkato se".
Vihaan said ," koshish karunga par gurantee nahi de sakta mein bilkul bhi ab bhai hai mere thoda bahut pareshan to kar hi sakta hu". All of them burst into laughters after Vihaan's statement. Ragini patted her hand on forehead and said, " Ye ladka kabhi nahi sudhrega".
Author's P.O.V- The pain burried in Aarav's heart had no cure. The cold hearted man for outsider's is some one who is struggling with his past traumas. This emotional side of Aarav is heartbreaking but the only reality of him.
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Thank you guys for reading 🌹
So how this is the depth of Aarav's character which is deeply buried in pain.
Future may have new rays of hope for him which will unfold in upcoming story.
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