What happened?
Her mind was scattered.
What was happening?
Anastasia swallowed her fear and lifted her head. "Um, Lord, I-i really don't know what's going on,"
It was true.
She wasn't lying to herself.
There was something wrong with the way she acted with Austin tonight.
She couldn't be afraid of him.
He was wholesome and sweet.
"I'm afraid that I'll offend him tomorrow. I don't want to do that, but I don't know what's happening,"
She waited.
God had to say something.
Anything.
He'd kept her the last two years and He would keep her now.
"Austin, he's been a good friend to me and I don't want to pull away because of this confusion," She confessed, growing anxious at the thought of running from him.
She needed to get this straightened out now.
She opened her bedside table and pulled out her Bible.
There was always an answer in the Word.
She closed her eyes and opened it, hoping that God would direct her to the right place.
Song of Solomon.
"Oh, no,"
Song of Solomon was romantic and lovely.
Song of Solomon couldn't possibly have an answer for her troubles.
She needed something in the Psalms. She needed to know that this too shall pass if she just held on to God.
"Direct me, Lord," She prayed.
This time it had to work.
What could God say with Song of Solomon?
"Nothing," She whispered and opened her Bible once again.
Song of Solomon.
It wasn't funny.
Not at all.
She was distressed and somehow her Bible kept opening to the love book.
God had a sense of humor, that she was sure of.
"Do You want me to read it? You know I'll do anything You say,"
A peace settled over her and she genuinely wanted to shake it off.
She'd avoided romance in all factors since Benjamin died. God kept her heart from longing for a lover who'd whisper sweet nothings to her and make her swoon. And now He was leading her to read about one of the sweetest love poems.
It made no sense to her.
Still, it was what God wanted.
She didn't understand why. Not in the slightest, but she would obey.
Maybe something new would jump out and God would bless her with a revelation. The cure to her strange fear of Austin.
"Okay," Anastasia cleared her throat and read the first scripture. "The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's."
Her eyes widened at the following verse.
What was God doing?
"May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine."
She didn't want a kiss. She didn't want anyone to kiss her.
She wanted to be left alone.
Alone with friends of her choosing.
Sweet friends.
Sweet like Austin.
And for the sake of sweet Austin, she continued reading.
Maybe, just maybe, she'd find the cure in one of the eight chapters of the Song of Solomon and their friendship could go on without a hitch.
"Your oils have a pleasing fragrance, your name is like purified oil, therefore the maidens love you. Draw me after you and let us run together! The ki-"
Gradually, yet surely, Anastasia was entirely unaware of the hand of God.
He was intentional and she was oblivious.
-
Trisha Landry was a God-send.
Her encouragement changed the game for Austin.
He didn't feel hopeless about his friendship with Anastasia.
And now, he felt like there was a chance.
Anastasia's reaction to him last night was a sign from God.
She didn't push him away. She didn't cringe. She didn't grimace.
No.
She fell into him.
She wanted to see him again.
She wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.
And maybe all this time, she was reciprocating.
If he thought about it, she'd been a sweetheart to him since she called him comfortable.
"Comfortable," He chuckled. "I sure ain't expect this,"
He just wanted to rest and figure things out for the next three months.
Instead, he was active and still had no clue what was next.
And, and, the woman who threatened him with a knife was somewhat sweet on him.
He wouldn't get ahead of himself.
There was truly something special about being Anastasia's friend.
He never thought a friendship could satisfy him, but her friendship was delightful.
"Delightful, she is."
Suddenly, an idea came to him.
It was by God.
The end of his writer's block.
He didn't know how it would go, but with his notepad and guitar on deck, he was hopeful it would go well.
-
Somebody so true, delightful to my soul.
Never planned it, but God's hand did it all.
Faithfulness to a hopeless man, showing him the light day by day.
How could it be? How could it be?
Ain't written in the stars, never hoping on a coin, but walking with the Lord.
How could it be? How could it be?
Opened my eyes and found He'd made all things beautiful.
Saw something, a blessing, so true, so sweet, how could it be?
Ain't written in the stars, never hopin on a coin, but surely walkin with the Lord.
Something so true, something so real, by God, i ain't even know love could feel
How is this true? How is this real? I ain't even know how it could feel.
Faithfulness to a hopeless man, showin him the light day by day
Givin him a chance to make a new way.
Oooh, oooh, oooh,
Now I know how it could be, how love could feel
Ain't written in the stars, ain't hopin on a coin, but surely walkin with the Lord.
Ooooh,
-
Austin dropped his pencil and smiled.
Something came out of not resting.
Something good.
Lyrics hadn't flowed so smoothly since, well, never.
"Thank You, Lord. I meant what I said about them meaningless songs,"
God heard him.
He'd written songs about sex in an abstract way, attractive women, his upbringing, and other surface things, but this was something deeper.
He was sure that God was redirecting him, he believed it was time to stop being a musician altogether, but maybe God had something with depth for him.
But what did that mean?
Would he leave in five weeks and turn over a new leaf with his singing career?
Unwanted dread filled him at the thought of leaving.
"Lord, I, I like it here. I ain't never thought about puttin roots down, but I want to now. You got it in your hand to make a way for me to stay and make good music, I believe You gonna do what's in Your will." He paused and rested his face in his palms. "I just ask that You guide me, You know? I don't want my time with chère to be just for getting a song. I want to be with her, yeah, I want to be with her,"
A confession.
A prayer.
A hope.
A song inspired by Anastasia and the fear of leaving her behind was what it took for Austin to admit the truth.
He liked being her friend, but he wanted nothing more than to be her man.
If he clung to God and kept his head high, he would be alright.
Even if he only had five weeks left with Anastasia, he would make their time together count.
-
"Yes, thank you. I, I do appreciate your call. Of course, I'm hopeful there will be a next time." Anastasia said feeling deflated.
Today was supposed to be blissful.
Instead, she'd finally gotten called for a meeting with her boss, which made her jittery, and it wasn't good news.
After the brief meeting, she received a call from the leader of the excavation site.
He thanked her for reaching out to learn more about their research and welcomed her to visit on her own.
It was kind, but it wasn't enough to comfort her heart.
Her boss didn't offer much explanation for why she wasn't chosen.
Anastasia summed it up as just because.
Now she was waiting around for Austin.
She hoped to be enthusiastic over dinner, but she wasn't sure if she could be.
And reading Song of Solomon didn't help.
In fact, it only confused her all the more.
"Help me be still, Lord," She murmured as sadness settled over her.
This was her dream.
Maybe she shouldn't dream anymore.
Another lost hope to push aside.
A round of knocks came to her door.
"Come in," She said absently.
She couldn't always be hopeless and push aside her dreams and desires.
"Now, ma chère, don't I deserve a warmer welcome?"
Anastasia's heart lept at his voice.
"Austin," She whispered, a soft smile grew on her face. "Hi," She looked up and found him holding a bouquet of roses.
Oh, my.
"Hi, ma chère." He walked over to her desk and handed her the roses. "You alright?" He asked warmly.
Ever-observant Austin.
She couldn't lie.
The roses smelled lovely.
"The roses are beautiful, Austin. Thank you," She put the down and sighed. "I'm not alright. I won't be going to Arizona," She confessed lowly.
Austin rejoiced and simultaneously felt for her.
"Oh, chère, I'm sorry." He sat on her desk beside her and took her hand.
And the weird feeling returned.
"I wanted it so badly, you know? It makes me think that I'm not meant to enjoy the desires of my heart." She shook her head. "No. Why don't we go? I refuse to allow this to meddle with our time," She stood up and let go of his hand.
"Don't shut yourself down, chère. You got a right to feel upset and talk about it." Austin told her insistently. "I consider myself blessed to have your company, so meddle however you want, chère. I'm here." He placed his hand on her shoulder and she cracked.
He wanted to know how she felt.
He wouldn't ignore her feelings.
She turned to him and fell into his embrace.
Her heart was hurting.
She only wanted to enjoy an excavation.
She felt like a child for crying over it, but she was overwhelmed.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Why didn't God want her to go to Arizona?
"Ma chère, you know better than me that God has His will. We don't always understand, but He does. You gotta trust Him, chère," Austin murmured while rubbing her back. "He give you that sweet heart for a reason. Don't try to make it tough,"
Her heart.
It clenched and fluttered at once.
She didn't know how to respond.
Oh, but she felt so kept and comforted.
"You still want to go out?"
Anastasia shook her head as tears ran down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," She was ruining their time together already.
"Sorry for what, chère? You hoped for that chance, you gotta loose them feelings."
She wasn't used to this at all.
His compassion made her feel afraid.
"It's still your day," He whispered. "We could sit in your office, watch a movie, do somethin crazy in the park, or you could teach me how to use them forks," He teased, finally easing her heartache.
"Y-you're hopeless with forks, Austin," She said with a delicate smile, her pretty eyes shining with tears.
She was amazingly gorgeous.
"Who, me? Now, now, I thought you believed in me, chère. What's the world come to when my sweetheart calls me hopeless?" He gently wiped her tears and winked.
He didn't even notice the slip.
It was right.
His sweetheart.
"You wicked," Anastasia whispered. "You're only hopeless with forks," She giggled. "A-and with table manners,"
He gasped dramatically. "Table manners? What ever do you mean?"
"You surprised me by sucking your teeth and swishing water in your mouth, and swallowing it," She explained carefully.
She was right.
And beautiful.
My goodness.
"You got me there." He admitted, still captivated by her beauty. It was hard not to be. "I never seen somebody look so beautiful after crying,"
Oh.
Anastasia couldn't help but blush.
He was still holding her. He was sweet. He called her beautiful.
He was handsome. He had a strong embrace.
He was comforting.
"Oh, hush," She sighed and rested her head on his chest. "I feel silly for being such a baby. But I am glad that you don't judge me for my feelings,"
He smelled good.
"Can we go to the park instead? A-and have dinner there?"
He nodded. "Anything for you, ma chère." His heart was beating out of his chest.
But he was willing to endure the annoying heart palpitations that Anastasia's closeness brought on.
"Anything for you, ma Austin," She mocked with a sweet giggle.
Ouch.
She was too cute.
"I think I'm rubbing off on you, chère. Except you're much cuter than me," He teased and stroked her cheek. "You know, I recall your sweet self singing in the kitchen when we met," He released her from his hold, took her hand, and walked her out of the office.
"I almost stabbed you then, Austin. Oh, I do apologize for holding the knife at you," She shook her head and tsked.
"It ain't no thing, chère. We'll pick up some dinner and head to the park. Then you can make up for trying to kill me," He teased and bumped her shoulder. "Maybe sing me a song,"
There it was again.
Her sweet laughter.
Anastasia Randolph was intoxicatingly sweet.
-
"That one looks like Nic,"
Anastasia choked.
"Oh, dear, you must be blind,"
Austin pouted and poked her cheek.
"Now, chère, you're the one who wanted to look at clouds til the stars come out, I'm just makin the most of it,"
She giggled and patted his hand.
"And you're the one who said, anything for you, ma chère," She said pointedly.
After picking up a pizza, the pair walked around the park until the sun went down.
Now they were lying on a blanket in a clearing at the park.
"I did say that."
He didn't regret it. He couldn't.
He was only glad that she wasn't upset anymore.
"You do this often?"
She nodded. "Never in the park, but I do. In my house, I have a balcony. It's not like the one at my parent's house, but it does allow me to enjoy the stars,"
This is what he liked.
Listening to her speak about her passions.
"Have you figured out what's next for you?"
Austin shook his head. "No, ma'am. God gave me a song today, but if I'm honest, I just ain't ready to go back to it yet." He didn't even want to think about it again.
"He did? That's amazing, Austin!" She gushed. "What's it about?"
This was something she liked.
Austin rarely spoke about himself or his music. He only liked asking her questions.
He was honest though when she asked about him.
What was it about?
Austin had to think.
Would he tell the truth?
He'd been honest with her about everything. Would it make her uncomfortable?
No.
"Honestly?"
She nodded.
"I was thinkin of you, it's about my gratitude to God for our relationship." He confessed.
What was he trying to do?
She felt afraid again.
This was far too sweet.
"Oh," She whispered, unaware of what to say.
It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done.
He'd shown himself as such a thoughtful man.
"Oh," Austin whispered back, making her smile.
He looked up at the sky and hummed as the stars started making their appearance.
He had an idea.
"You ever danced under the stars?"
Anastasia laughed. "No, I think it would look rather strange if I danced alone on my balcony,"
But it would be nice.
There was a hidden storehouse of desires she had. Strangely, Austin had fulfilled some without knowing.
And he did so without making it weird.
He was naturally someone unique and intriguing.
She liked being with him because she could simply be.
The unwanted feelings of anxiety and fear still lingered, but it was only Austin. He was harmless.
"Well, ma chère," Austin said sitting up. "You never had nobody to watch the stars with, and you never danced under the stars. We'll make this a night of double firsts," He stood up and offered his hand.
She felt giddy.
She felt twenty-two with Austin.
She didn't have to quiet her feelings or defend herself.
It was delightful.
She took his hand and he pulled her up without a word.
"There's no music," She noted, though it didn't matter.
Austin pursed his lips and clicked his tongue. "Ah, but there is, ma chère. You just gotta listen," He placed his arm around her waist and began to sway.
He couldn't dance.
But he was an expert at swaying. He'd smoothly sway her into the night.
Anastasia wrapped her arms around his neck and listened closely.
There was nothing but the sound of crickets.
"I don't hear any-" As she spoke, Austin began to sing, nervous as he was, sharing something new with her. Sharing his heart. He wouldn't sing it all, only the beginning.
"Somebody so true, delightful to my soul,"
Oh my.
His voice was catching.
"Never planned it, but God's hand did it all."
The words.
The words.
She rested her head on his chest and truly reveled in his song.
"Faithfulness to a hopeless man, showing him the light day by day,"
As he sang, melodic, rich, and pure, a revelation like an arrow pierced her heart.
What she felt wasn't fear or anxiety.
And what he felt wasn't something she could pass off as a joke.
She was in trouble.
But for now, just for now, she would drink it in and let it be.
For tomorrow could tell a different story that she wasn't sure she could face.
"Somebody so true, delightful to my soul,"
-
Author's Note
Hey y'all!🫶🏽
What do I have to say? I liked the chapter a lot. I've switched from the focus being on Austin, now it's on Anastasia as she figures out what's happening. She knows now! ahh!🤭
Austin, bruh, I love him, just saying. He wrote a song inspired by Anastasia. He's also taking this pursuit seriously, whether he's staying or going. I love that.🥹
So...what did you think? What's next? How will Anastasia take the revelation? Will she avoid Austin or face the music?🤔
I don't even know...It's literally in God's hands!
That's all!
Bye!👋🏽