summary: when hailee tries to convince you to ride the publicity wave and appear in her new music video, you're forced to accept the truth of your feelings for her.
warnings: the weirdest mix of angst and fluff you've ever seen; stubborn idiots arguing instead of being honest; quite possibly the most dialogue i've ever written for one fic; one mention of the JA stunt because i am still bitter about it
wordcount: 1.6k
a/n: rubix stop mentioning sunkissing in everything challenge. don't mind me, just trying to manifest hailee's music back to life...pun absolutely intended. [ever write a song so gay you have to go into hiding as soon as it comes out? i'm sure taylor swift knows the feeling all too well] anywho, i got a little carried away with this request and it shows. hope you enjoy <3
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If someone had told you your entire life would be flipped on its head just from a few short video edits and a trending hashtag you would have called them mad. Unfortunately, Emily Dickinson had a point when she said,"Much madness is divinest sense."
The 'madness' in this case was the sheer amount of people who had started spreading the before-mentioned videos around and the 'sense' being your incredibly obvious feelings for the person who was essentially your boss. It's a bit of an oversimplification, and the biggest reason you have not to tell Hailee the truth, but the point still stands.
You still have no idea how things got blown so out of proportion since the speculation around you two has been swirling around since day one. Clearly, not having any new music projects to focus on has driven her fans into madness.
It would be fine...if you and Hailee were still on speaking terms.
Are you being dramatic? Maybe a little but your friendship or relationship or whatever the hell it was that you two had going on at some point isn't what it used to be. The blame isn't entirely on her but your own bitterness about the situation tends to cloud your judgment sometimes...okay, most of the time.
Right now is a perfect example of it.
You've been staring at your phone for what feels like hours, mentally debating if you should give in and reply to Hailee's text. You really, really, don't want to but what other choice do you have? It's not like you can ignore her forever, you've already promised her you'll join her on her next tour, whenever it finally happens.
You decide to suck it up and agree to meet her for coffee. The last thing you need is to be seen hanging out with her right now but you're sure it's all part of the plan. A plan that probably didn't come from the singer herself, but rather from the group of people who act like they want the best for her but are really just trying to sell her image like it's a product.
Because who cares about morals and dignity as long as you get streams on your music, right?
You shove your bitter thoughts out of your mind for now and focus on getting ready to see Hailee again.
The hours simultaneously feel like seconds and eternity and before you know it, you're sitting at a semi-secluded table in a random coffee shop with your knee bouncing up and down like there are ants crawling up your pants. No amount of breathing exercises or grounding techniques can stop your heart from hammering in your chest from the mere thought of the brunette.
You're not sure what she wants from you, you just have a bad feeling about it. Although maybe that's your broken heart talking, you can't be sure.
You notice her the second she walks in and you do an awful job at pretending you're looking at something on your phone instead of her. You act like you can't see the smile on her face from this distance just like she acts like she can't see you. Both of you look ridiculous but neither of you mind.
She finally joins you after another eternity of waiting and despite all the questions that are swirling around in your brain, you force yourself to wait for her to go first.
"I need your help with something."
After months of not talking to each other, that's what she leads with. You would complain about her lack of greeting but you're grateful she's getting right to the point so you can wrap this up and go back to avoiding your feelings. "That's a bold start."
She rolls her eyes, more out of habit than anything else. "It's been five seconds, are we going to fight already?"
"I guess that depends on what you want me to do," you reply.
"I want you in the SunKissing music video. We finally got the green light for it and it's the perfect way to take advantage of all the buzz around the two of us."
You can't help but wonder if she's joking. The 'buzz' around you two is just people speculating and piecing together the history Hailee has spent so long ignoring and rewriting. History that's filled with arguments. bitter kisses, unspoken confessions and stolen glances.
You force the memories out of your mind. Along with the weird ache you feel every time you focus on Hailee's eyes.
"Me dancing in the background of your music video isn't going to be a trending topic, Hailee."
She shrugs. "It will be if we kiss."
"You're joking," you say, unable to hide the way her words take you by surprise.
"I'm serious."
"You're choosing now to come out? You think this will make everyone forget about your little stunt with the QB?"
Your mention of the New York stunt hits her hard and if you're being honest, that's exactly why you brought it up. You're not interested in turning your private life into Hailee's next big scandal. Even if it means pissing her off until she changes her mind.
The way she clenches her jaw is all you need to know you're not going to like her next words. "It's not a coming out. It's an acting project."
"You're never going to change are you?" You ask, not sure whether to be impressed or disappointed by her idea.
"Come on, y/n." She leans forward and places her hand on top of yours. You half-expect a camera flash to accompany the action but you seem to be safe for now. "You know you're the only person I trust with this."
Her words would be cute if you hadn't fallen for them already. Multiple times. It's always been the same way with her. She gives you a few months of her attention, makes you believe your unspoken affections aren't one-sided, just to rip it away from you the second you think you've made progress.
"You're the last person in this room who should be talking about trust."
"Oh my God!" She leans back, her hand slipping away from you and taking any hope of avoiding an argument with it. "When are you going to let that go?"
You're not even sure what she thinks you're upset about this time. The list is so long, she could be referencing anything and be completely right. And yet somehow, you're the one who's in the wrong for still being upset.
"When you apologize for being a piece of shit," you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Which it is. To you, anyway.
The brunette across from you clearly doesn't feel the same. "That's unfair."
"Leading someone on is unfair, Hailee."
"You are so stubborn. How the hell did I ever sleep with you?"
You can't tell if she's joking or not but either way, you don't want to hear another word from her.
"I'm leaving," you say as you rise to your feet, ignoring your half-finished drink and the flash of regret that passes through those brown eyes you can't help but love.
"Shit, shit, y/n, wait!"
"I already did wait or did you forget about that too?"
You don't give her a chance to answer instead choosing to ignore her rushed apology and walking away like you should have done when this whole conversation started.
You make it about six feet away from the entrance when you hear Hailee's voice calling after you. "Will you do it if I tell you it was my idea?"
It's a desperate attempt for your attention and yet you fall for it all the same. Everything inside of you is telling you to leave but you can't. Not when you're this close to getting her to be honest with both herself and you.
"If it's the truth," you respond with your back still facing her.
"It is." The scent of her perfume overwhelms you as her hands grip your waist. You fight back the urge to move away from her and allow her to turn you around to look at her. "I told my label it would be good publicity but honestly...I just really miss you."
You can't stop yourself from laughing. The sound comes out softer than you thought possible. "You couldn't call like a normal person?"
"We're not normal people, y/n," she says, the ghost of a smile lingering on her lips. "You know that better than anyone. You know me better than anyone."
"Do I?"
She takes a step closer to you and you hate the way your eyes instantly drop down to her lips. It's an instinct that no amount of time away from her can rewrite. "Let me prove it to you. Please."
"You're not going to fix this with a few kisses, Hailee."
There's an unspoken promise in her eyes. One that says she'll kiss you as many times as she has to until she proves you wrong. And you have no doubt that she will.
Her hands move up from your waist to cup your cheeks. Her movements are slow and careful almost as if she's waiting for you to change your mind.
In a way, you do because whatever remaining doubt you had about your feelings for the brunette fades away in an instant. You push away all your hesitation and close the gap between your lips.
It's the sweetest kiss you've ever shared. It's full of almost inaudible sighs, gentle touches, and the overwhelming truth of your desires. Mainly, the desire to keep going.
"One chance," you whisper as you pull away. "I'll help you with the music video. I'll let you in again. Don't make me regret it."
"Promise."
You're about to tell her not to make promises she can't keep but she kisses you again before you get the chance to.