Don't do it, don't do it...
But did I listen to that whispering voice warning me off?
Like the damn fool I was, no.
I slunk along the balcony like a battered alley cat with exhaustion wrecking my weary limbs. As I huddled within the shadows of an inset balcony that overlooked the Banquet Hall, my swords' leather scabbards scraped against the back wall and gloom dusted my figure with dirty fingers. Gloom had settled on more than my body, it had burrowed its way inside and blackened my mood.
Despite needing to shower and finding something to relieve the hunger gnawing at my gut, as soon as my muddy boots had crossed the threshold of the Deniauds' mansion I'd aimed here like a shot arrow, despite the mantra playing over and over—don't do it, don't do it...
I'd spent my day hunting through the Hemmlok Forest in an attempt to distract myself from the unease scratching beneath my skin. I'd awoken this morning worried about Laurena Wychthorn who'd spotted me with Tabitha at the club, and feared what she'd do with the information. My foul mood had worsened the deeper I'd traversed the forest's sinister depth. My thoughts had turned once more to that fateful night with Gratian. The pull to go further, to press onward to the Heart of the Forest, roared through my bloodstream, a dark melody strumming in my veins to find the beast that had killed my brother. Vengeance. Forgiveness. Atonement. I could earn it all if I only found the beast and felled it.
It was the merest glimpse of light, the faint glow of fireflies dancing around curled leaves, similar to the way sunshine seemed to radiate with one of Tabitha's smiles, that snapped me out of the death haze.
I'd stopped short, shocked to find it was nightfall with thick fog rolling between my legs, surrounded by knotted black vines that strangled ancient trees. All the fine hair on my body stood on end. A deep pulse of menacing power hummed like a sinister chanting of monks through the cold air, reeking of stagnant rot, beckoning me on, enticing me to enter.
I'd been so close, so terrifyingly close to entering the Heart of the Forest.
I whirled around and ran, crashing through the understory, a surge of black speed and bleak thoughts.
Upon entering the mansion, I'd convinced myself just a glimpse of Tabitha would soothe my anxious mind. And that dickhead move blew up spectacularly like a grenade in the face the moment I angled myself to peer down below and found Tabitha dancing with Tomas.
My spine stiffened.
A shocked gasp whistled into my lungs.
Holy shit...
I almost had to punch my own heart to fucking kick it back to life like a defibrillator. Jealousy was a haze of blood dripping into my eyes. It ate through my veins and I choked on its noxious fumes as I watched Tomas and Tabitha gracefully twirl across the redwood polished floor in a Quickstep.
What the hells is this?
On one of our dates, Tabitha divulged that Tomas wasn't the father of Dolcie's baby. As to whom the father was, she didn't know. But I sure as hells hadn't expected Tomas to have been invited by Oswin to the wedding, nor anticipated seeing him dancing with my girlfriend.
They moved in perfect harmony, her light footsteps matching his, and the long skirt of her evening gown hooked around her wrist, fanned outward like a silken butterfly wing as he whirled them about to the upbeat music. Tomas beamed at her with a besotted smile, much like the smile Oswin had for his new wife as he held her hand and guided her around the outskirts of the dancefloor to speak with their guests.
My knuckles creaked as my fingers slowly fisted. I hated to admit it, but Tabitha and Tomas looked good together. They looked like that couple. The exceedingly attractive couple who only had eyes for one another, that everyone was fascinated with and watched with open interest. That couple you envied.
After Tabitha's dance ended and I managed to unclench my jaw, Tomas asked for another, which she politely declined, and he escorted her back to the head table.
Twenty minutes later I was still here. I knew I should have left, yet found I couldn't.
Something was wrong.
Tabitha was ill at ease.
Great swathes of silvery satin looped across the vaulted ceiling in graceful curves, and low romantic lighting splashed down from the enormous chandelier with crystal pendants suspended like icicles. Classical music poured from the discrete speakers set up around the hall. Peckish wedding guests milled around the buffet table laden with desserts. Elder guests yawned over cups of coffee, and those not dancing were gathered in pockets around the tables, nursing drinks and chatting.
Tabitha was perched on a velvet chair with a simple black taffeta bow decorating the curve of its back. She seemed distracted, fidgeting with the champagne flutes, the silver fork propped on a small white plate holding a slice of wedding cake, of which it looked like she'd only taken a single bite. The smile she wore was forced and her gaze flitted about the hall often. Shadows, wisps of dark clouds shifting across the sun, had muted her good feeling.
An elderly couple, Dolcie's parents I figured, were chatting with her. Embarrassment pinked the tips of her ears as she leaned forward and asked them to repeat the question they'd put to her. It hadn't been the first time her mind had wandered during their conversation.
Unease shifted my booted feet and slithered over the sweat-cooled skin beneath my armor. I ran my knuckles across my chin, back and forth, as I watched her keenly.
Maybe she was off because of last night.
Maybe she regretted what we'd got up to in the restrooms at the Stag Party.
Maybe she was out of sorts because I'd forced her to tell the truth about the cave of krekenns and stealing the moonlit ring from me.
The air tightened in my throat as a more worrying thought took hold. Maybe she knew Laurena had spotted us at the club. Maybe Laurena had already sunk her fangs into Tabitha.
The youngest Wychthorn princess had arched a manicured eyebrow like a cat who'd not only licked the cream but stuffed a godsdamn canary right in her mouth, its feathers tickling her lips as she stared back at me with that superior smug smirk.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I rubbed my eyeballs with my thumb and forefinger. Pressure throbbed behind my brow and bore down on my shoulders with the insufferable weight of iron.
I needed to go.
I couldn't approach Tabitha tonight and find out what was wrong.
Heaving a sigh, I pried my eyes open only to discover Tabitha no longer sat at the head table. Perplexed, I carefully paced down the wall, spending the next minute scouring the Banquet Hall, sifting through all the guests. Tabitha wasn't anywhere. She'd disappeared. I angled myself toward the series of doorways down below, rising up on the balls of my feet to get a better view of the guests coming and going from the kitchen and the massive entranceway that led back into the mansion.
She might have gone to the restrooms.
Either way, it was time to stop lurking and leave.
I kept my footsteps light and silent as I waded through the murkiness to the balcony's doorway. My hand was an inch away from latching around the brass knob when the door suddenly pushed open, forcing me to lurch back.
Shit.
Adrenaline slashed through my veins and walloped my heart with a nitrous kick. A thousand useless ideas of how to explain my uninvited presence here blew up in my head.
My knees buckled and I slapped my palm over my chest as a breath whooshed from my lungs in relief at the unexpected appearance of Tabitha, slipping inside the balcony like a shadow.
She shut the door silently behind her. Her hair was twisted into a crown on her head with tendrils left loose at her temples, framing stunning eyes of a rich blue-green.
Beautiful.
I smiled.
She scowled.
Worry and guilt surged, and my smile faltered when she parked an angry fist on her hip, canting her upper body to whisper-hiss at me, "What are you doing here?"
I gulped and hooked a finger into the collar of my armored jacket, which seemed to suddenly be too tight around my neck.
She wasn't pleased and I couldn't blame her. I'd fucked up. I knew I shouldn't have slunk in here. I dropped my hand to wrap my fingers nervously around the bandoleer and its bulky leather. "I just,"—shit, fuck—"thought I'd just catch a look at the wedding reception."
"I didn't realize you were such a big fan of weddings, Mr. Crowther," she drawled, her luscious lips curling downward, not buying it for a second.
"It's really pretty," I mumbled, hooking a thumb over my shoulder and following through with a brief glimpse of the reception's detailing down below. "I like the black sashes around the chairs...and the flowers?" I added lamely, my voice rising like a question.
"Well, now you've seen it, you'd better get going," she scolded, straightening her figure. "You shouldn't be here. Last night was risky enough as it was."
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have come. I didn't think anyone would see me," I apologized in a rush of words.
"Well, I did."
"How?" It was high up here and clouded with shadows.
"I could feel someone watching me," she retorted, pointedly.
Don't mention Tomas—I warned myself as jealousy arose. And for once, I actually heeded my own advice. I was about to explain myself further, that I wasn't watching-watching when she burst out with a strangled sound of vexation and erupted into movement. She stomped quickly behind me, her palms met my back, and she started shoving at me, trying to physically push me toward the door and getting nowhere because I was a 6 ft 5-inch brawler, my frame packed with hard muscle.
"What the hells, Tabitha?" I spun around deftly, sliding a step out of range. My abrupt disappearance made her stumble off balance, and before she tumbled face forward, I grabbed hold of her arms to steady her.
She twisted around and shook my hands from her body. "Just go to your rooms, Varen, and stay put. I don't need to add you to the list of concerns tonight."
What the hells did that mean?
I glowered, taking a sudden step forward. She took several abrupt steps back, her spine hitting the door, and jolted at the contact. "Is that why you've been worried?" I asked, glaring down the length of my nose. I'd observed her at the head table with Oswin's parents, distracted and anxious.
Tabitha's eyelashes fluttered in startlement and her frustration winked out. Her long thin fingers anxiously kneaded the back of her neck. "I'm not worried," she denied, flustered.
I cocked an eyebrow.
Her mood darkened once more like the crack of lightning. She poked her bottom lip out a fraction as she looped her arms over her chest, popping a challenging hip out. "I'm fine. Like I told you last night, I'm too busy to see you today."
Bristling, I slanted my head sideways. The words growled deep inside my chest and tasted acidic on my tongue. "Wrong answer, Tabitha."
She sloped her chin up, eyes narrowing as thin as mine. "I'm Best Man and there's a lot of responsibility that comes with it. There was the ceremony; it was up to me to make sure Oswin was okay and not having a panic attack at forgetting his vows; ensuring I didn't lose the wedding ring and keeping the groomsmen in order; I had to give my Best Man's speech; and keep an eye on Oswin's grandfather because he likes to get really tipsy and flirty with..." She continued to rattle off all the things that were part of her duties today, flinging an arm up, her cheeks getting redder and redder.
She was on the cusp of tipping over into full-blown anger when I interrupted her, softening my voice and my stance, and spoke part of my truth. "I came tonight because I really wanted to see what you looked like in your evening gown." Before she could react, I moved fast and threaded my fingers through hers, raising her arm above her head. She resisted, trying to tug her hand free, but finally, she allowed me to slowly turn her around, snorting out an annoyed huff through her nose.
I'd been captivated by Tabitha, just as every single person in the hall had been. She looked like the sun. As if someone had taken a handful of golden dust and blown it across her skin and painted her figure in a dress of sunbeams tinted with the blush of dusk. The pale rose-gold evening gown was cut into a Grecian style with gentle pleats gathered at her shoulders that crossed her cleavage, belted at the waist, and rippled down the curves of her figure to pool at her feet, so her high heels didn't even show.
"Okay, you've seen me, now get out of here," she hustled, tearing herself free from my grip, and flapping hurry-up hands at me.
"Alright, calm,"— the fuck—"down," I bit back in frustration, raising my palms. "I'll leave and go back to my rooms."
"Please do. And stay there," she snapped.
My hair ruffled across my forehead as I shook my head, my lips thinning as I submitted to her will. Spinning around, I headed for the door. But before my hand curled around the knob, I heard an anguished sigh behind me and then a flurry of footsteps.
Tabitha swept in, sidestepping in front of the door to prevent me from leaving. "Something happened today with Mrs. Deniaud, but I can't talk about it here, not like this," she said in a hurry, her gaze downcast. I instantly tensed, worried, but she carried on. "And my aunt saw what I was wearing last night and I'm in trouble. Not trouble-trouble, but I've disappointed her, which is worse than if she was angry with me." She wrung her hands, raising a crestfallen expression, barely able to look at me beneath her lashes in shame at her behavior. "I'm sorry. I've been worried and out of sorts because of it and I shouldn't have taken out my bad mood on you," she apologized, embarrassment pinking her skin in patches.
Shit, I certainly knew that feeling. Mamãe had the same way about her too. Just a glimmer of a disappointing look from my mother could shatter me harder than my father's anger when we bucked up against one another. "It'll be alright. Your aunt will come round in time. And when we get a moment we'll talk about whatever is bothering you about Mrs. Deniaud." Whatever that might be.
I began to raise a hand, wanting to brush a reassuring stroke down her bare arm and stopped when Tabitha's brows angled upward above eyes shimmering with bewilderment. "You really can't go for one day without seeing me?" she asked in a small voice, standing awkwardly before me.
I thought my being here was evidence enough of how little willpower I had in regard to her. I had zero. I couldn't resist her. She was the moon and I was the moth trailing her silvery rays.
I hitched a helpless shoulder.
Tabitha's bottom lip wobbled with a shy, tremulous smile as if astounded she had this kind of effect on me. She reached for me first, but I'd been one heartbeat away from yanking her into my arms. Our lips met and her relieved sigh sent a swirl of hot air into my mouth. While her hand came up to cup my cheek, silky hair feathered the backs of my finger as I angled her head to deepen our kiss. Both of us explored each other in languid strokes. She tasted sweet and spicy-innocent, molten beneath my body as I pressed her up against the door, her figure molding to mine. "Tabitha, fuck," I whispered as I nibbled on her lower lip, caressing it with a slow slide of my tongue, enjoying the shiver racing across her skin, the soft gasp, the way her fingers tangled around my bandoleer, dragging me even closer. "I missed you today."
"I missed you too," she breathed.
She was gorgeous like this with desire making her eyelids heavy, arousal blushing her cheeks, and her sweet body eager for mine as she moaned my name into our kiss. She reminded me of sunshine. Beautiful and blinding with its brilliance. In the dusky shadows of the balcony, she shone brightly. It struck me then, what gift I'd give her to mark her as mine so everyone knew she belonged to me. I'd commission diamonds, a swathe of them to glitter around her neck, sparkle in her ears, to glisten on her wrists. Specifically, yellow diamonds, because she was my summer.
"You smell so good," she groaned, sliding a hand up my chest to spread her fingers across my bristly jaw.
I huffed a quiet laugh. "I'm all sweaty."
"You smell like man," she growled throatily, and it had blood instantly swelling my erection.
She bit my lip and I flinched at its sting with a hitched gasp. She tugged the flesh into her mouth, sucking on it like it was her favorite candy, and I grunted then choked out a moan. My hips bucked against hers as pleasure burned down my spine and flooded my chest with heat and need. Our kiss became reckless and wild, her tongue savage and greedy, as if she was trying to sink her claws in and dominate me.
And hells, was I game for that.