Justin's POV
A whole week had passed since the last time I talked with Cole. A whole week of work, a whole week without a single message from Dylan. For that, I was grateful. After what had happened in the parking lot, Cole was avoiding me. It was almost insulting. When I got up, he was already gone, and when I came home from work around ten, Mom would tell me he'd left just a little while before. It was like all of a sudden he didn't want to see me anymore, and the worst part was the distance hurt me in a way I could have never imagined. My body was demanding I kiss him again, crawl into his arms, and I was tormenting myself wondering what I could have done wrong, why he was being so cold to me after we had shared such moments of arousal.
I knew he was spending time at home because
Mom saw him almost every day, but he only came home when I was gone or late at night after doing God knows what. And so one Saturday evening, which my boss told me to take off because they were closing the bar for three days, I thought I would finally catch up with Cole. I didn't know for sure he would be home. For that matter, I wasn't sure I really wanted to have him in front of me.
Escaping from my own mental conflicts, I went to the kitchen. Mom and I had talked about having dinner that night and watching a couple of movies. When we were in Sems, we had done that almost every night, but since we'd moved, we hardly spent time together. Mom was always accompanying Richard on his work trips or shopping or organizing endless events or parties for Williams Enterprises. That night, though, she was free: Richard was going to be at the office late, and she and I had coordinated our schedules so we could see each other.
It was a little after eight, and Mom still wasn't home, so I decided to make a roast with potatoes. I liked cooking. I wasn't a fancy chef, but I could hold my own at the stove. I was cutting the potatoes with one of those knives like they sold on QVC when I heard the front door open. I stiffened. I didn't know it was him, but my heart began to pound as I heard those heavy footsteps getting closer.
When we met eyes, we both froze, him in the doorway, me next to the island where I'd just set down my knife. He looked surprised and then indifferent. I tried to be angry, but too soon I was hypnotized by his outfit, a black suit and a white shirt buttoned low and his intentionally mussed hair framing his handsome eyes.
"I thought you were supposed to be working," he said when we — or at least I — had recovered from the impact of not seeing each other for seven long days. He walked inside and around the island, opening the refrigerator with a distant air.
"They let me off," I said, knocked off guard by the incredible attraction I felt for him. My fingertips were itching with the urge to mess up his hair even more and tear off his carefully ironed shirt.
"Good for you," he said.
"Where have you been?" I asked, slamming the knife down a bit harder than necessary, cutting through the potato and leaving a mark across the wooden cutting board with a dull, almost thudding sound.
"Around," he said from behind me. I couldn't turn. If I did, he'd realize how out of sorts I was. I didn't want Cole to know about that unbearable obsession that had overtaken me in recent days. It made me nervous to know he was watching me, leaning on the counter. After an intense, uncomfortable silence, he said, "Your back's sunburned."
Knowing he was looking at me that way made me even more nervous.
"I fell asleep by the pool," I said, cutting more potatoes, trying to concentrate on my work.
I felt his breath on my neck and stopped moving the knife as he said, "You should be more careful."
I nearly cut myself with the knife, he made me so anxious. But Cole's reflexes were fast enough to catch my hand. I dropped the knife and looked back at him.
"Why have you been avoiding me this past week?"
"I haven't been avoiding you."
I exhaled.
"We live in the same house and I haven't seen you in a week. I'd say that's avoiding me."
Why did I care, though? Hadn't I had enough trouble with Dylan? Why was I going to jump into something else when it was evident that nothing good could come out of it?
"I was busy."
I felt the blood boiling in my veins.
"Oh yeah? Well, I hope you stay busy for a long time." I acted like I was about to take off, but he stopped me.
"What are you insinuating?"
I knew my reaction was the exact opposite of the one I should have had. There was no reason for me to care if he was out living his life. Sure, we'd kissed a few times. Sure, I was attracted to him, and sure, I'd missed him, but that didn't detract from all the bad things Cole represented.
"Nothing," I replied. Why was I letting him affect me.
"Justin, you should stay away from me," he warned me.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yeah, it's what I want."
I'd be lying if I said his words didn't hurt. Now everything had been said. I turned away, promising myself I wouldn't get caught in his web.
But I wasn't good at keeping promises.
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Work was great to keep me out of the house and away from the emotional burden of trying to ignore Cole twenty-four hours a day. One night, Jenna called me and invited me to a late dinner at a Mexican place, and I was dying for ten to come so I could go home and get ready. I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of shorts and a decent Polo shirt someone had given me a long time ago. I was in Palm Beach now — where better to wear it? I combed my hair back in a nice style that looked good to me.
I was trying not to think of how little time was left until college started or how weird it would be to be surrounded by strangers at a college full of unbearable rich kids. So that night, I was going to have fun.
Someone knocked on my bedroom door right when I finished getting dressed.
"Come in!" I shouted, tying my Jordan's, assuming it was my mother there to ask how my day had been.
How wrong I was. When it opened, I saw Cole on the threshold. I stared up at him, one shoe still in my hand. He was dressed in jeans, a black T-shirt, and sneakers. His black hair had the same bedhead look as always, and his blue eyes were staring at me coldly.
"Yes, preppy?" I asked, trying as hard as possible not to show him how angry I was.
"I heard you're coming out with me tonight?" he said in a distant tone.
I crossed my arms.
"Far as I know, I'm going out with Jenna, not
you."
"Funny. I'm going out with Jenna... and Logan... and Katie." He put a certain emphasis on that last name.
Dammit, Jenna. Why didn't she tell me? I felt an explosion of jealousy.
"The plan was just to go out and have fun, so fine by me," I said, tired of arguing with him, tired of kissing and then getting angry with him. It was exhausting. I needed to find a way for us to get along. "Let's just party and have a good time," I said, forcing a completely unconvincing smile. His words hurt me, and the fact that he didn't want to touch me again hurt even more.
He seemed to be thinking over my offer.
"Are you proposing a truce, Bieber?" he asked in an odd tone. I couldn't help knitting my brows hearing those words, Bieber.
"Exactly," I said, putting on my other shoe.
"Great. We can take the same car then." Before I could protest, he continued, "Jenna told me she can't pick you up, and it's dumb to take two cars if we're going to the same place."
"Whatever pleases you," I said, grabbing my phone and wallet and walking out the door.
"I would've preferred a thanks," he said, catching up with me as I jogged down the stairs.
I looked at his T-shirt, which was tight across his upper arms and back. Why did he have to be so hot? Why?
As we walked past the vestibule, I realized I didn't have any cash. I stopped, about to go to my room to get cash.
"What are you doing?" he asked me, annoyed.
In desperation, I made up a lie.
"I don't have any money on me." I told him like it was the obvious thing in the world. I hated dealing with him at the moment, and if I hadn't known he was loaded, I'd have just stayed at home, but at that second, the idea of doing so seemed dreadful.
He rolled his eyes.
"You already made me lose two hundred thousand dollars. Buying you food won't make any difference. Come on, go get in the car." He jumped into the driver's side and threw it into gear.
For a brief moment, I felt guilty, but as soon as I remembered what a jerk he was, the sensation vanished.
The restaurant was twenty minutes away. I watched him in silence as he shifted gears and fooled with the radio. I hadn't been alone with him since that day in the kitchen, and the feeling was strange.
The station he chose played the same TIK TOK songs as always, but since he seemed to know all the words, I opted not to complain. I looked out the window at all the huge houses we were leaving behind and was surprised when, instead of pulling onto the freeway, he turned north, toward a development next to ours.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I've got to pick up, Katie" he said without looking over. I tried as hard as I could to ignore the horrible feeling those words inspired.
He could tell that had affected me. The tension and discomfort were palpable, and my thoughts turned to all that had happened between us.
"Look, as far as the way things have been lately," he said in a calm but cool tone. Great. The very thing I didn't want to talk about.
"I propose we try to get along better, like brothers, and forget everything else that's happened."
I turned to him, both eyebrow raised.
"You think you're going to treat me like a brother after kissing me all those times?"
He clenched his jaw, and his veins danced beneath his skin.
"Like a friend, then," he said. "You're impossible. I'm just trying for us to get along better."
"By treating me like a brother," I said, getting more and more pissed off with each minute that passed.
He glared at me, and I glared back. That burning emotion in our eyes when they met was too dangerous to express in words.
"I told you: we're friends," he barked, and the contrast between his tone and what he was saying made me laugh. Thankfully he turned back to the road.
"Fine," I agreed. I guessed pretending to be Cole's friend was better than us attacking each other twenty-four hours a day, even if I couldn't trust myself not to lust after him every time I laid eyes on him. I didn't think friends was the right word, though. Relatives obliged to tolerate each other I said this to him, and I was happy with the term because friends implied too many things. To be friends meant being together through thick and thin. I wasn't even there with Jenna yet, and getting to know her had been wonderful.
An impossible-to-interpret smile crossed Cole's lips.
"I'm not so sure about relatives... How about distant pseudo-relatives obliged to tolerate each other and hook up once in a while?" Oh, so he was making fun of me.
I slapped him playfully, and his smile just got bigger. It was strange how comfortable I felt after that, in the few minutes remaining until our arrival. It had even been fun, in some weird, twisted way.
Cole stopped the car in front of a big house —
not as big as ours, but big enough to make a person like me gawk and stare. Cole picked up his phone and dialed.
"I'm here. Come on out," he said coldly, especially compared with the past few minutes, when he'd been more relaxed than I'd ever seen him.
"You are such a gentleman. You know that, right?"
"I don't go for that bullshit," he said, putting away his phone and shifting into first as he saw the door crack open. "A girl is perfectly capable of leaving her house without an escort."
Cole's date wasn't too tall — I had a good five inches on her — and her expression was so stiff and snobby that I'd put her straight on my list of enemies. I could still remember her comment about my ex, and it made me livid.
It was funny how her eyes got bigger as she saw who was in the car. First her lips pursed, then she scowled, and by the time she got here, she was actually ugly.
She stopped in front of my window, clearly intending to say something. Too bad I didn't feel like rolling it down so I could hear her. Cole groaned and touched the button on his side, lowering it against my will.
"What the hell is this?" Katie asked, looking at us incredulously.
"I'm sorry, I can go to the backseat," I answered.
I felt a pinch on my thigh, and I was about to slap Cole's hand away, but then I saw him glaring daggers at me.
"There is no time. Get in, Katie," Cole said, rolling my window back up.
She stared daggers into me one more time before opening the back door and getting in. She wasn't used to being back there, and it entertained me to watch her in the rearview acting like a spoiled little girl.
Once we left the development, we finally turned onto the interstate. I was starving, and I wanted to get there as soon as possible.
No one said anything; there was just the noise of the motor and the road, and this time I was the one who turned the radio on. Then I leaned back, crossed my arms, and looked out the window. Katie seemed to have run out of her dumb, supposedly witty remarks, and Cole was lost in thought, apparently unconcerned with how hard it was for me to sit in the same car with the person he was having sex with. I didn't know anything about their relationship, but it couldn't have been too serious if he'd kissed me all those times.
I was grateful when we reached the restaurant on the outskirts of the city on a road full of bars with noisy people milling around. I saw Jenna and Logan by the door, and when Cole parked, I ran off toward them.
Jenna hugged me. Logan's response was cooler, but still, he was friendlier than Cole. I was surprised to see Xana was with him. She'd come to see me and talk at the bar where I worked several times, and I'd gotten used to that smile and those pearly-white teeth.
"If it isn't my favorite waiter!" she said.
"Hi," I said smiling as I picked her up, hugging her spinning her around twice before setting her back on her feet softly.
But her smile vanished when she saw Cole and Katie come over.
They exchanged an unmistakably hostile look.
"What are you doing here?" Cole asked gruffly. Why did he always have to act like such an asshole all the time?
"We just ran into her, and I told her she should come eat with us," Jenna said, winking at me. She clearly knew nothing about the tension between them.
Before my stepbrother could start an argument right on the spot — knowing him, it wouldn't have surprised me in the least — shouted "Great!" and forced a smile.
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There was a long line to get into the restaurant. Luckily it was nothing fancy, so I fit right in, unlike Katie in her heels and tiny dress. "Xana, you'll be my date tonight," I said. "I wasn't in the mood to play third wheel anyway." Xana seemed pleased as I threw my arm over her shoulders, pulling her in close.
"Excellent!" she said and walked over to the host stand. I turned my back on Cole. He looked incensed.
A few minutes later, we were seated at a round table in a side room away from all the racket. I guessed the names Cole Williams and Jenna Tavish meant something there.
I sat between Xana and Jenna. Since Logan was next to Jenna and Katie next to Xana, that meant Cole was right across from me. After everyone ordered their drinks, we sat there in a uncomfortable silence. With Cole trying to play the tough guy, it was all I could do not to tell him to fuck off. Thankfully, Jenna finally piped up.
"You know what, Katie?" Jenna grinned at me, clearly aware of Katie's irritation as she glanced all around, trying to figure out what was going on. "Justin's going to go to our college. You should introduce him to Spencer, since we'll probably all be in the same core classes." Ever since Jenna found out we'd be going to the same school, it was all she could talk about. I decided not to go to Auburn and stick to the college closest to my mother.
"Who's Spencer?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation going even though Katie clearly wasn't in the mood for it.
She looked up from her cell phone with a glimmer in her dark eyes. I felt intimidated. What was she cooking up in that dumb head of hers?
"He's my little brother," she said, glancing over at Cole. When she caught his eye, he leaned over the table and took her hand.
"Little?" I asked, dubious. "How old are you?"
With a look of superiority, she replied, "Twenty.
And in a year, I'll be done with college." So she thought she was better than me.
"I'd have never guessed," I responded, provoking her indignation. Cole shook his head vigorously while Jenna tittered.
"Tell me something, Justin, where'd you learn to drive so well?" Xana asked, changing the subject. I knew that subject would irk Cole, reminding him of how he'd lost his car.
"Nowhere. It was just good luck that I won the race," I said, shrugging my shoulders. Then I dug into the chips and salsa and nervously started chewing. I didn't want to get into it. Let's say some things are better left dead and buried.
"You're lying! It was amazing!" Jenna said. "It had been forever since anyone beat Aggie, and you left him in the dust, even Cole..." She realized where she was going and seemed to decide to trail off.
"You actually want us to think you just happened to win? Like that?" Katie asked with false friendliness.
Cole leaned both forearms on the table and pinned me with his blue eyes.
"Spit it out. How'd you learn to race like that?"
The question was so direct that only the pure and simple truth would do. But I wasn't willing to give him that. There were things in my past I didn't want to talk about. So I lied.
"My uncle was a NASCAR driver. He taught me everything I know."
I saw surprise in his face and a little bit of doubt, but just then, the waitress showed up with our order. I had always liked Mexican food, especially tacos, and I used the distraction to chat up with Xana. She was always easy to talk to. At some point, I started cracking up at something she'd said that no one else had heard because everyone was wrapped up in their own conversations.
After calming down, I bent over to take a sip of my soda and looked up at Cole, who seemed furious and uninterested in talking with Katie, Jenna, and Logan.
I couldn't imagine what had happened, but I wasn't going to ask, either. Our truce over these past few days seemed as fragile as a thread, and I knew I could break it if I said or did anything that got under his skin.
"The party at your place was great, Cole. We should try to throw an even bigger one and get everyone over to celebrate the end of summer,"Jenna said.
The whole table nodded, but all I could think about was what had happened between Cole and me there. It had been the first time we'd really kissed.
"Justin, you're red as a tomato," Jenna whispered for me to only hear.
I wanted to die, especially when I looked up at Cole and saw he seemed to be thinking exactly the same thing as I was.
"It's the salsa," I said, taking a sip of my drink. Dr.Pepper always made me feel better.
Soon afterward, we asked for the check. I'd forgotten I needed to borrow money from Cole, and that made it weird when Xana said he wanted to pay for me. Cole interrupted her: "I've got him."
I could tell Xana was going to argue, so I jumped in. Katie was pissed, too, especially since Cole hadn't said a word about paying for her.
"I ran out of cash." I said, trying to sound indifferent.
"Okay, that settles it. I've got him, Cole. I owe him from the other day," Xana said.
"Sure you can afford it?" Cole asked maliciously. "I wouldn't want you to blow all your tip money on one meal."
"Preppy!"
I couldn't believe what he was saying. I wanted him to stop. There was an uncomfortable silence, and Xana tensed like a dog under attack. I knew there was about to be a confrontation, and I had no idea how to avoid it.
Before Xana could respond, I grabbed her hand under the table. She was surprised, but she squeezed back a second later.
"Pay it if you feel like it," she said, standing up and pulling me along with her. She dropped a twenty on the table and turned toward me. The fact that we were holding hands was lost on no one.
"How about I treat you to an ice cream?" she said. I liked how she hadn't let her rage get the better of her. Xana wasn't a violent person, even if she looked like she watched true crime at night and had ways to strangle Cole.
"I can't let you do that, that's not very gentlemen of me."
"So? You gave me a free meal, it's the least I could do."
"Yes, he's going!"
Jenna gawked at me at first and then smiled knowingly.
We said goodbye —'I didn't even bother looking at Cole — and left.