Lies:
Tequila crushed you last night
I have a headache, capital letter H-headache.
"Mmhhh!" I grunt loudly while I roll onto my side and feel for any possible damage. I'm talking a naked hockey player sleeping soundly on the empty side of the bed. But it's still empty.
Good.
So, I do remember everything that happened last night, no gaps to apologize for. Because if I were to sleep with Rémy I would want to have full recollection of every detail. That's probably why he still refused to kiss me, because of our girlie... tequila.
I hate her.
Maybe even more than Heather.
I'm still half asleep while I drag my feet out of bed and shuffle into the bathroom and I rinse my face with lukewarm water to try to get rid of the worst case of racoon eyes.
After my little chat with Rémy in the booth, Brooks told us Rhett was not going to sober up. He was past that point so putting him in bed was a smart decision. I fell asleep in the cab, and I guess either Rémy or Brooks caried me upstairs and tucked me into bed too.
I'm taking a wild guess on Rémy.
As I get ready for the day, I find my phone in my bag with toiletries and I remember looking for it in the club last night. You know how it goes, you're in a hurry and instead of putting your blush away you tuck your phone in there instead.
It happens.
My smile grows wide while I watch there's a few unread messages from that hockey rat.
Rémy:
I'm really sorry
I care about you Céline
That's all you need to know right now
I care about you
My lips are pressed together as I look at the timestamp and it's from even before he apologized to me at the club. I keep reading the words over and over and each time they do something to my heart.
I care about you too Rémy.
More than you probably notice.
Walking downstairs with a thudding headache I find Rémy by himself in the kitchen, making himself some breakfast, a kitchen towel draped over his shoulder like a true chef. My mom would love to see it, a guy who knows how to cook. She would even challenge him to a cook-off. All I can say is good luck to him. You don't easily beat Canada's most famous Tv chef Clair Martin.
That's my mom.
Impossible shoes to fill too.
I playfully smile as soon as my entrance makes him look up. Apart from the towel he's wearing sweats and a hoodie, a cap twisted backwards on his head, and it has every corner of my body flutter. "Well, that's a sight."
"You don't look bad yourself." He smirks as his sight wanders over me, wearing only skiing base layers, which are a tight turtleneck and leggings and a thick braid draped over one shoulder. "How's the hangover." His smirk doesn't disappear while he stirs some scrambled eggs. Especially not when I pace over to him, stretch onto my tiptoes and barely reach his cheek, kissing him as his lips seem to be still forbidden terrain. "What was that for?" He flicks a playful brow my way while I lightly shrug.
"Just, everything." I mutter while I nervously balance from one foot to the other.
"Even though I was absolutely awful to you?"
I give him a wary smile. He was but, I have been in his place. The exact place where I shut out everyone, especially the people I actually needed most. I can forgive because I get it, but that doesn't take away I won't forget. It's strike one, strike two could really push me away, strike three, he's out. "Do you want to go to the penalty box? I could totally do that if you feel like you deserve it?"
Rémy laughs and then shakes his head, "You are adorable. Come here," He motions for me to fill the space between him and the pan. Do I hesitate? No. "I do feel like I deserve it, but I'll take you with me though. I'm not going to push you out again... I can't." His arms snake around me from behind for one of the most satisfying hugs, while he hides his face into the side of my neck, his mouth finding a spot right above the fabric of my turtleneck. "Mhh, you taste better than breakfast." He whispers before kissing my sensitive skin. His words and his touch have me burning from the inside and tingles are making my head spin. His two-day stubble grazes me and it forced a soft and wanting hum to blow from my lips. Meanwhile I try to stir the eggs as if nothings is happening. I mean it's not like I'm dying on the inside right now or anything. "Do you remember last night? Everything?" He whispers carefully and I'm like snow before the sun. Melting. "Please say yes."
"Yes." I tell him. "Although I just saw your messages this morning, I forgot to take my phone to the club." I turn around to look up at him and a spark flashes trough his gaze. I'm confident mine expels a wholesale of fireworks. "I care about you too Rém." I can tell by the way his shoulders relax, by the way his eyes soften and how his hand now cups my cheek he hasn't been told much in the past. "I will tell you until you believe it."
He lightly shakes as his thumb rubs across my cheek. "I believe you." Good. "So, are you hungry?"
"I'm not going to eat your breakfast," I laugh while duck from his embrace and push him towards the breakfast bar, urging him to sit down.
"We can share."
"Ogres don't share." I shake while opening a few cabinets to find a plate. "Jackpot!" I mutter out loud and before Rémy can protest he has breakfast served to him on an expensive looking platter.
"This ogre shares though." He nods towards the seat next to him. "Come on, sit with me."
"I'm not sure my hangover is going to allow me to eat though." A faint smile paints my lips while I go to sit down next to him. It feels peaceful just having breakfast with him and a certain calm washes over us.
"So, what are your plans today?" He flashes me a grin after he takes the first bite and hands me the fork.
Yes, we're apparently sharing a fork.
Closest thing to being inside his mouth apart from kissing.
I will grab all that I can get!
"We were supposed to go skiing but I don't know if Rhett and Brooks are still up for it. Pretty sure Rhett's still drunk."
"Yeah probably." Rémy's laugh really melts me, as I'm stuck to stare at his perfect features. Stare? More like daydream or travel to planet Rémy Space-x style, fade away into a different universe
"You?"
"I'm going to head to the rink, then I don't know, relax. I have a game Tuesday, so I feel like taking it easy." He grabs the fork takes a bite and then hands it to me again. My hand envelops his as I try to grab it and his smile draws me closer, his lips so perfectly curved it's driving me insane. Psyche ward level insane. Every second not kissing this man is a crime and I'm a dirty criminal! "Do you want to come with me?" He whispers, his eyes locked on mine with a determined expression. "This time don't hold back Miss pro league." Rémy rolls his eyes when he takes the fork back and scoops up some eggs bringing it to my mouth. I throw him a defiant glare as I wet my lips before wrapping them around the fork, teasingly retracting at a slow pace until he bursts out in a chuckle. "You know I should have guessed it."
"What do you mean?"
"That you played before. Competitively. What were you? Right winger?"
"Left."
I can't help it, I'm smirking like a Cheshire cat.
I'm about to blow his mind.
In my mind I'm blowing other things too, but that's not the point is it? Ultimately it will be though.
"Damn," He shakes biting down on his bottom lip. "The anger issues also should have been a dead giveaway." His tone almost has me giggling but it's a fact. My anger issues were there long before the accident. I blame it on being the youngest with two big brothers trying to battle me. "You slap like a goon. You crossover like Crosby. You shoot like a legend... I mean that TDR, it was a beauty and I really thought that was your first try." His eyes widen at me. "You little liar..." He cracks up while he bumps his shoulder into mine. "So how much did you downplay?"
"Forty percent." A shrug travels over my shoulders. "I was still rusty though; I hadn't been once the ice for years. I did some off ice for a while, but it was never the same." My gaze hangs low, and I'm overwhelmed with regrets. What if I just told my anxiety to take its business and drive off a cliff? What would have happened then? "The dream was just shattered I guess." I shrug again.
"Hey," His soft tone grabs my attention and I look up to meet a compassionate sweet look in his gorgeous eyes. Those unique eyes always get to me, they have so from day one. "You just need to overcome the fear, the skills are still there." He leans in until I can feel the heat of his body all around me, "Trust me, they are." And then he bounces his fingertip of the tip of my nose. "If you want, I can ask Stella if you can try out next year. In the meantime, you and I will work on the fear part."
"I don't know." My voice feels fragile as my thoughts waver over the idea, yet Rémy shakes to disagree.
"You do know." He says softly and then he leans in, and his lips find my cheek, gently planting a slow and velvety kiss. The softness of it lingers, even when Brooks walking in on us makes Rémy pull back.
Great timing Brooks.
Great fucking timing.
"Morning sunshine's." He smiles while a hand disappears into his blonde wavy hair. The amount of conditioner I think this guy uses is illegal.
"How are you still alive?" I frown at him while he makes the coffee machine expel the worst noise imaginable when you're having a headache and I instantly flinch to cover my ears. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard, like a cat screeching for food at three in the morning, like sharpening hockey blades.
"Your liver must be decomposing right now." Rémy clears his throat while his arm flies around my head and he pulls me into his chest, both his hands covering my ears. It's the smalles gesture in the world, but somehow it means the most. My heart literally imploded as soon as the side of my head hit his chest and his warm large hands protected my eardrums. He cares about my brain, it's much appreciated.
"I'm actually fine." Brooks shrugs it off before he frowns his brows at us. "The two of you are disgustingly cute, bunch of smitten kittens. Bleh." He lifts a brow next and then the coffee machine stops, and I squirm out of Rémy's grasp. "You either need to tell Rhett you have been making out with his crush or try harder to hide it bro. Probably the first option. Like a band-aid. Rip it off."
"We haven't been making out." Rémy shrugs with a knowing smirk.
No Rémy.
Unfortunately, we haven't.
I have yet to find out how perfectly your lips fit on mine.
How good you taste.
How I know your kiss is going to make my world stop spinning around because you suddenly became the centre of it.
"Yeah right, and I'm acing all my classes." He pulls a face at us before laughing loudly. "If you haven't kissed her, you're delusional. Dude open your eyes, she's into you."
See, at least he isn't blind to my truckload of signs.
Big neon brothel sign over here!
But I don't think it's because he's blind.
He's just scared.
"I'm sitting right here?" I note. "Rémy didn't lie though. He refuses to kiss me." I put emphasis on the word refuse, because at this point he is.
Brooks grabs his coffee and sits down facing us while an investigative look rolls over his features. "Céce, what have you done to my friend? He usually sees girl lips as his next meal."
I shake and hold my hands up in defense. "Nothing, trust me." I look at Rémy who's hiding a smug smirk. "He's trying to protect his soul, but I told him he doesn't need one. Or maybe he thinks my kisses will turn him into an ugly troll." As I pull up my shoulders, I can see Rémy shake his head. "Brooks, you tell him it's crazy, maybe he'll listen to you!"
"So," Brooks tilts his head, frowning at Rémy specifically. "This gorgeous woman has been begging you to kiss her and you refuse. R-E-F-U-S-E?" He expels a devilish laugh. "Are you trying to shit a puck!?"
"No," Rémy bounces back.
"Then you better kiss her soon before I take it upon this girl's sanity to relief all the pent-up passion because she isn't getting any from you. I don't mind being an ugly troll."
God no.
I'm not kissing someone who looks like he could be my TWIN. We look more related than I do with my actual brothers!
However, I do like the effect his words are having on Rémy.
"You wouldn't dare." He threatens.
Brooks cocks him a brow while I'm trying to hide a flustered chuckle. "Oh, I would. You don't mind sneaking around with Rhett's crush, I'd say it gives me fair game to do the same to you."
He's bluffing.
I hope.
"What about Rhett and his crush?" A visibly beaten Rhett turns around the corner and instantly Rémy creates a little space between us and it kind of makes me feel guilty.
Does he really have a crush on me, so badly?
"Nothing, I was just saying the tequila crushed you last night." Brooks tries to recover. Thank god he has some quick thinking. Imagine this, Rémy and I confessing we have been hanging out, texting with a letter s and basically nearly kissing every chance we get. All of this over breakfast. Like telling your parents you accidentally blew their creditcard on a pair of shoes because you thought they would make you look like the coolest girl in school. I can tell you from experience, they were not it!
"Oh yeah," Rhett mutters and there's not much behind his eyes. "I'm wrecked, but some fresh powder snow will cure me."
"So, we're still skiing?" I say and I can't hide the disappointment in my voice. It's there, it's obvious, but Rhett seems oblivious. I kind of hoped we weren't so I could join Rémy. If I tell the boys now, I'm not coming, it will look suspicious. I already feel guilty for being invited on this trip, probably because Rhett wanted to spend time with me, because that project he said we would work on, we didn't even spend two second on it so far.
"Of course we are, why else are we here?" Rhett smiles while grabbing Brooks' coffee from the table and taking a sip.
"Sure buddy, have my coffee, my germs are your germs." Brooks squeezes his eyes at him, but I lose track of their entire conversation after that because a large hand sprawls onto my thigh under the table. An arrow of desire shoots to my core as Rémy's fingertips longingly dig into my muscles, his eyes fighting to capture mine. They do. The splotch of brown in his left eye sucks me in and before I realize I'm covering his hand with mine, our fingers playing a dangerous game of tug of war while my heart is trying to wave around a white flag.
"Just give me ten minutes to get ready." Rhett says, his voice absolutely battered and hoarse, as all of us watch him disappear again.
"I'm going to get ready too." Brooks says but neither Rémy nor I seem to tear away from each other's gaze. "Seriously Collie, stop eye fucking her if you haven't even properly made out." He notes before walking away. "You're off the deep end. Both of you!"
"Mmh." Rémy replies with a hum while his eyes fall on my lips.
"He does have a point." I whisper, the air loaded between us as his hand really grabs my thigh like he's never going to let go. He's squeezing me like his mind is spreading my legs apart and lifting me on this counter for a better breakfast. "This is torture." I whimper while I sit back with the biggest pout on my face. It is! All these obscenities in my head are making me question my sanity.
A soft chuckle bounces from his chest while he leans forward, his hand now traveling to my face, and I try to ignore the goosebumps covering every inch of my body. He nudges my nose with his right before his lips meet my ear. "Just go ski, have fun, and then I'll torture you some more after." I shiver at his words.
"No..." I whine. "No more torture." I pull back and look him dead in the eye, determined to get the message across loud and clear. I will use an intercom if it's necessary! "These lips," I rush my thumb over his plump bottom lip and his eyes instantly grow hooded. "Are going to claim what's theirs." I whisper seductively my mouth mere inches away from his. If pure logic won't convince him than maybe teasing him until he gives in will do. I give him sex eyes next, and he's crumbling like a mellow cake. "They're going to taste every little unmapped inch of me until you're begging me to be your whole world." I get up while my hand disappears into his hair, giving him a taste of his own medicine while my lips skim his earlobe. A low tortured growl vibrates through his chest while white-hot pleasure fills mine. I tug a little at his roots while his hand in my waist squeezes me. "Say goodbye to your soul, you're going to hell with me." I whisper in his ear and leave him breathless and flustered as I walk away. My words are probably sinking in. I surely hope they are! He knows this game has been going on for too long. I will get what it is I want, and right now that's everything Rémy Miller has to offer.
✨
My own game caught up with me. I have been playing that look on Rémy's face like my favorite movie, on fucking repeat. Before leaving the kitchen, he looked at me like I was his prize possession, one prettier without any clothes on may I add. That look turned me on more than words ever could, so I'm screwed, literally. I have been skiing for a few hours and let me tell you, skiing while all you can think about is kissing Rémy, and other PG-rated things...
Bad idea.
I almost got run over multiple times, nearly missed a tree or four and Rhett and Brooks still can't keep up, so when I'm at the bottom of the mountain, I'm all by myself. I'm starting to get cold as I wait for them and by the time, they're there I'm feeling severely hypothermic.
"Guys." I call for them while I'm undoing my skies. "I'm going to go back; I'm not feeling great."
"Tequila got you too?" Rhett laughs it off.
"No, your slow asses got me feeling like a snowman. I'm freezing." I mope loudly and I know I'm sounding a bit whiny but I'm cold.
I don't like feeling cold.
At all.
It's triggering...
All I'm craving is either hot coco... or a hot body rubbing itself against me until I'm on fire. Or both. You can do a lot with chocolate. It's quite multipurpose.
"Sorry," Brooks instantly apologizes. "Just be safe when you go back, okay? Text us when you're there."
"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Rhett adds, a little concern filling his voice.
"Yeah, sure. Just have fun, I'll be fine."
After watching both of them take the chairlift back up the mountain, I drop my skies off at the rental place, before making my way back to the house. It's eerily quiet when I walk inside, and I don't think Rémy is back yet. At least, he's not in his room. I checked. Not in a creepy stalker kind of way I promise.
Grabbing my phone, I text Rhett, telling him I made it back safe and asking for directions on how to make the sauna work, maybe that will defrost my limbs.
I didn't pack a bikini or a bathing suit, and so I feel like my underwear and a long shirt has to do until I can undress at the spa, determined not to walk around naked. You just never know. I grab a towel and make my way downstairs. I'm well aware the pool is still there but I will not glance at it. Last time I let fear consume me because it came as a surprise, this time I know it's there.
I'm back with a vengeance and a ton of phony bravado.
This time will be okay.
As I walk into the spa I keep my head low and my gaze directed to the floor until I walk past a bunch clothes lying at my feet.
I recognize those clothes.
They provided for quite the sight this morning.
"Rémy?" I whisper as I carefully look up and find him swimming in the pool, completely submerged and unaware I'm there. I'm watching the water ripple while I hesitantly cross my arms over my chest. I'm well aware I'm just wearing a shirt and underwear, tiny underwear! But it's nothing I didn't show him last time. I feel less paralyzed than yesterday, almost like him being in the water instantly makes it feel less threatening. The sound of water splashing startles me as soon as he pops his head above the water, his hands pushing back his wet lock before wiping across his face. Startled, I stumble back and nudge my leg into a pool bed, a screeching noise echoing through the room. "Shit!"
"Céline?" Rémy mutters while he's still wiping the water from his eyes.
"Yeah, it's me." I tell him with a stiff smile. A stiff smile is probably not even right to describe it, it's more like absolute terror that fills my expression, as I'm now watching the water like I'm it's next meal. And I can tell Rémy noticed.
"Hey, look at me, don't look at the water." He says, his fingers tapping onto his bare chest. Any other time I would have taken in the sight like a Christmas present. I mean, Rémy in nothing but a pair of boxers I think, dripping wet hair and droplets of moisture cascading down his taunt chest. It's and instant pussy throbber, drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, but now I just can't get past the water surrounding him. "Babe, eyes on me." He repeats, his voice more serious, but I'm still struggling not to panic. I'm shaking my head, unable to tell him I can't do this and while I feel like an absolute coward, I just don't see another way out of this. I need to go. "Don't run from it. Slap on that helmet like a warrior, like you did before you went on the ice. You didn't back down then."
"I know but," I mutter under my breath. "Water is worse than ice Rém." It's the water filling my lungs that I almost killed, the water freezing my blood. I'm looking up at the ceiling, my bare feet glued in place while I try to control my breathing.
In and out, ten times like my therapist told me.
She told me a million times, it has NEVER worked!
So why do I try!
I can hear him move and I take a curious peek through narrowed eyelids. He's at the edge, closer to me before he hoists himself up and sits down, his feet dangling in the water. "Come here." He whispers as he reaches out his hand. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."
Ninety percent of me wants to run away. The other ten percent puts full trust in Rémy's words and sometimes, just sometimes it's not the majority that wins. My feet are dragging me closer until a wet hand envelopes around mine, my heartbeat instantly erratic by the water's proximity, probably by Rémy's touch too. My racing heartbeat is making me feel lightheaded and I'm imagining myself fainting, falling into the water and drowning. I'm imagining Rémy just being a hallucination and I'm all alone, nobody here to help me when something bad does happen. When I stop breathing.
"Talk to me." I panic, I'm shaking. "Take my mind of the awful things going through my mind, please." My voice sounds desperate. "Talk to me! Tell me something. Anything!" I press, words flying out of my mouth with a chilling sense of hurry.
"You're the only one that makes me feel like I really matter! The only one!" Rémy blurts out while he squeezes my hand and our eyes lock. The vibrant color of the pool is making his eyes ten time more colorful, even the brown now more golden than I have ever noticed. There's something real in them, it's almost like the brown splotch in his eye is part of his soul that battled many fights. A lot of darkness, hurt and exhaustion, damage and pain. It's the part of him that's wounded and went through so much unnecessary suffering. Yet, the blue parts in them are light and playful, joyful... soft. It tells me he's caring, loving to a fault, devoted too. There's more blue in them than brown so I can see a lot in his eyes, but in the end, I mostly see hope.
✨ Oh Rém, you're cute. His eyes though!
✨ Any thoughts on this chapter? (I had to split this one and the next because it was getting soooooooo long! So I'm sorry there's still no kiss in this one, however...
✨ Get the AC running for the next two chapters because trust me, you will be fanning yourself from start to finish! 🔥