Ronnie's POV:
I nervously glanced at my reflection in the car mirror, adjusting my hair and smoothing out my dress. It had been months since Tanner and I broke up, and yet, the memories of our time together still lingered in my mind. We had agreed to meet up today, at the coffee shop we used to frequent, to finally have the conversation we desperately needed. The conversation that would either mend our broken hearts or solidify our decision to move on.
As I walked into the familiar coffee shop, the scent of freshly brewed coffee enveloped me, bringing back a flood of memories. Memories of laughter, late-night conversations, and stolen kisses. I spotted Tanner sitting at our usual table near the window, lost in thought. He looked up and our eyes met, causing my heart to skip a beat. Taking a deep breath, I made my way over to him.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
"Hey," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper.
Tanner's eyes softened as he replied, "Hey, Ronnie."
We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of our past relationship hanging heavily in the air.
"Uh," I stuttered, unsure of how to begin a conversation. "Well, thanks for agreeing to this. I know this must have been hard for you."
"Oh, yeah, yeah, no worries," he answered, until we returned to silence again.
"How's the touring going?" Tanner asked, breaking the silence.
"Oh, it's great. You know me, performing is my favorite thing to do."
"Yeah..." Tanner awkwardly responded as he tapped on the table.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
"Okay," I started. "I guess the main reason I wanted to see you, was to say I was sorry. I handled things right with you and John, and it was my fault. I didn't appreciate you enough for everything you did for me."
He looked up at me as if he was unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry too. I really loved you, Ronnie. I was willing to be at your side throughout everything - the fame, the news, the fans. I was willing to battle through it all with you."
Tears clouded my eyes, as I fighthed the urge to cry in front of him.
So this is me swallowin' my pride
Standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you
Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
Tanner reached across the table and gently wiped away a tear that had escaped my eye. I looked up, then said, "I made a mistake, Tanner. But I want you to know that I never stopped caring about you. I still do."
He was silent for a moment, as if he was thinking of what to say, or what to decide. I waited for his answer, desperately wanting to know if he was willing to give me a second chance.
He looked directly into my eyes, and we held contact for a few seconds before Tanner cleared his throughout. "I care about you too, Ronnie," he whispered, making butterfly feeling flooding in. I tried not to smile, but I was relieved, already thinking about how I would make it up to him, and how I would prove to him he made the right decision.
"But I think we need to move on," he added, causing my happiness to crash down. His voice was filled with a mix of sadness and acceptance, saying, "We've changed, and it wouldn't be fair to ourselves to force something that might not work anymore."
"You might have changed," I started, my voice breaking as I tried to get through the sentence. "But I haven't. I'm willing to do everything to fix this Taner," I said, breaking down. Tanner began to offer to comfort me, but I stopped him, unwilling to accept his pity.
"You have changed, Ronnie. You just don't see it."
"How? Tell me how have I changed?"
"You changed for him, Ronnie. Ever since he came back into your life, you started doubting me, doubting us. You let him break us apart."
I stayed silent, but not on purpose. The mention of him, the memories that came flooding back, it was as if I was taken away the ability to breathe, to think, to speak.
"It was all because of John, Ronnie. I don't think you ever got over him, and that caused you to never really commit yourself to me." I flinched at the mention of his name, and Tanner grew his concern.
"Ronnie?" Tanner asked. "You okay, there?"
Once again, I remained silent, trying to spit a sentence out. Come on, say something. You have to convince him you're okay. He's going to get suspicious. You can't let him find out.
"Is this about John?" Tanner asked, although his tone revealed he wasn't surprised, almost annoyed. But once again, I flinched at the mention of his name, begging for the memories to stay hidden, to not return.
"No, no, no, no, no, no," I quickly muttered, squeezing my eyes shut, and holding my head in place, finally able to move.
"Ronnie, what happened? Did he do something to you? John?" Tanner asked, hoping for an answer that could help him.
"No!" I shouted, grabbing my things, and leaving Tanner there, in the coffee shop, left in confusion.
~~~
The moon hung high in the velvety night sky, casting a pale glow over my room. The curtains danced gently in the breeze, casting eerie shadows on the walls. Sleep eluded me, as guilt gnawed at my conscience, reminding me of the pain I had caused in breaking up with Tanner.
These days, I haven't been sleepin'
Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughin' from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall
I lay in bed, tossing and turning, the soft sheets tangling around my restless body. The room felt suffocating as if the walls were closing in on me. The clock on the nightstand ticked relentlessly, each passing second a reminder of the sleepless night ahead.
Outside, the crickets chirped, their rhythmic song filling the air with a haunting melody. The sound seemed to echo the restlessness within my own heart. I couldn't escape the weight of my actions, the guilt that crept into every corner of my mind.
Closing my eyes, I tried to find solace in the darkness, but memories of Tanner flooded my thoughts. I could still see the hurt in his eyes, the confusion and disbelief etched across his face as I uttered the words that shattered his world. The pain I had inflicted on him weighed heavily on my soul.
The night seemed to stretch on endlessly, the silence broken only by the occasional creaking of the house settling. My heartbeat echoed in my ears, its rhythm mirroring the turmoil within me. How could I have been so callous, so blind to the consequences of my actions?
I replayed the breakup in my mind, every word and every gesture etched vividly in my memory. I could feel the lump forming in my throat, the tears threatening to spill over. Guilt consumed me, wrapping its icy tendrils around my heart, squeezing tighter with each passing moment.
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye
"Tanner, please understand. It's not that I don't love you, but I need to figure things out. I need to find closure with John."
"Closure? So you need some time, but we'll still be fine, right?"
"I don't know Tanner. Maybe," I hesitated, wondering if I was able to finish the sentence. "Maybe we need to take a break,"
Tanner shook his head, clearly angry with me. " What about us?" he angrily, yet softly asked. "What about the love we shared?"
I took a step closer, my voice filled with desperation. "Tanner, please don't do this. I need time. I need to sort out my feelings."
"But I'm not just some second option Ronnie! I'm a human being, like you! I have my own life! I was not meant to stand here waiting for you to choose me! You do realize that you are choosing him, Ronnie? By leaving me, you are choosing John."
I looked back at Tanner, tears filling my eyes. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. "Maybe I am," I choked out.
The moonlight filtered through the window, casting a soft glow on my tear-streaked face. The weight of regret pressed down on me, making it difficult to breathe. I longed for the peace of sleep, for a respite from the endless cycle of guilt and self-doubt.
In the darkness, I whispered Tanner's name, my voice barely a whisper against the backdrop of the night. "Tanner, I'm sorry," I murmured, hoping that somehow my words would reach him, even in the depths of his own pain.
So this is me swallowin' my pride
Standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you
Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
As the night wore on, the first rays of dawn began to peek through the horizon. The sky transformed into a canvas of soft hues, painting the world with a gentle touch. And with the breaking of the new day, a glimmer of hope emerged within me.
Tanner's POV:
The days passed, and life moved on as it should. But I kept thinking about Ronnie, and I was filled with concern, wondering if she was alright.
I was in my car, driving home from the studio. But despite how much I wanted to distract myself, my mind replayed the memory - Ronnie running out after I had mentioned John. Why would she run? Was it me refusing to get back together? Was it John? Should I even be concerned? Do you help someone, even if they're your ex?
As I waited at the traffic light, my attention was distracted by the laughter and voices nearby. I turned my view, revealing a beach - one that I was very familiar with. Although I had been planning on going home, something came over me. As the light turned green, I drove toward the beach, parking in the same spot I had always parked when I came with Ronnie.
The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the beach. The gentle breeze carried the scent of saltwater, mingling with the sweet fragrance of blooming flowers nearby. As I walked along the shoreline, my thoughts wandered back to a time when Ronnie and I were inseparable, sharing moments of pure joy and love.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinkin'
Probably mindless dreamin'
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
We had chosen this very beach as our special place, a spot where we could escape the chaos of the world and simply be together. The sand beneath my feet felt soft and warm, like a comforting embrace, as I recalled one particular memory that still etched a smile onto my face.
It was a radiant summer day, the sky stretched out above us like an endless canvas of blue. Ronnie and I had arrived early, eager to claim our spot by the water's edge. The beach was alive with laughter and the sound of crashing waves, but in that moment, it was as if time stood still for just the two of us.
I watched as Ronnie playfully kicked off her sandals, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Race you to the water!" she exclaimed, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Without hesitation, I took off after her, my heart pounding with excitement.
The sand shifted beneath my feet, making each step feel like a dance. The sound of our laughter filled the air, blending harmoniously with the crashing waves. As we reached the water's edge, Ronnie turned to face me, her eyes filled with a mix of determination and playfulness.
"Ready?" she asked, her voice carrying a hint of anticipation. I nodded, feeling the adrenaline coursing through my veins. And with that, we lunged forward, our bodies crashing into the cool embrace of the ocean.
The water enveloped us, its touch both refreshing and invigorating. We splashed and laughed, our voices carried away by the wind. The taste of salt lingered on our lips as we bobbed up and down, floating in the embrace of the sea.
As the waves gently rocked us, Ronnie reached out, her hand finding mine. Our fingers intertwined, our connection solidifying. Time seemed to stretch, allowing us to savor every precious moment together.
We floated there, our bodies suspended in the tranquil sea, surrounded by the beauty of the ocean. The sun's rays danced upon the water, casting shimmering reflections on our faces. Ronnie turned to me, his eyes filled with an overwhelming love.
"Tanner," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of the waves. "I love you."
In that instant, the world around us faded away, leaving only the two of us in a bubble of pure bliss. My heart swelled with love, my every fiber vibrating with warmth and adoration. I leaned in, our lips meeting in a tender, passionate kiss, sealing our love at that moment.
But this is me swallowin' my pride
Standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you
Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
As the memory faded, I found myself standing alone on the beach, a bittersweet smile gracing my lips. The echoes of our laughter and the feeling of Ronnie's touch lingered in my heart, reminding me of a love that once was.
Though the tides of time had carried us apart, that memory remained a testament to the depth of our connection. As I gazed out at the endless expanse of the ocean, I couldn't help but hope that one day, I would find a love that was meant to last.
All the time