[King's Landing - Red Keep, Courtyard]
Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish entered the main courtyard, where Queen Cersei Lannister was waiting.
"Lord Baelish." She greeted.
"Your Grace."
"I wonder if I might ask you for a favour." She began walking with him.
"Of course, Your Grace."
"I have reason to believe that House Tyrell do not hold the crown's best interests at heart."
"I see. And have you shared these suspicions with Lord Tywin?"
"My father's a practical man. He appreciates facts."
"Myself, I often find them a hindrance."
"And he appreciates those who aid his family, as you well know. He's almost as generous to those who help us as he is unpleasant towards those who don't. You have a good working relationship with the Tyrells. I thought you might look into it before you leave the capital."
"I shall do my best."
"Thank you. And your best will prove better than when I asked you to locate Arya Stark?"
"I assure you that it will."
Cersei exited.
[King's Landing - Red Keep, Tyrion's Chambers]
Podrick Payne poured wine for Lord Tyrion Lannister and Lady Olenna Tyrell.
"Gods, boy, that's enough. We're not in a tavern."
"Pardon, my lady." Podrick said.
"No need to speak. Are there any figs? Fetch some. I alwys take figs mid-afternoon. They help move the bowels. To what do I owe this summons?"
Podrick exited.
"Thank you for seeing me, my lady. I had hoped we might discuss a few financial matters."
"I climbed all those steps to discuss financial matters?"
"It's the royal wedding. I'm told you had a hand in planning it."
"Naturally."
"It's shaping up to be a very involved affair. The word extravagant has been used."
"What good is the word extravagant if it can't be used to describe a royal wedding?"
"I understand that."
"Good."
"But, as Master of Coin, it falls upon me to calculate the cost for the crown. As of now, it's a huge expense."
"And?"
"And we're at war, Lady Olenna."
"Oh, I'd nearly forgotten."
"Yes, and maintaining supply lines-"
"I can't think how it slipped my mind. What is it, twelve thousand infantrymen the Tyrell family has supplied? Two thousand in support. Provisions so this city might survive the winter. A million bushels of wheat. Half a million bushels each of barley, oats, and rye. Twenty thousand head of cattle. Fifty thousand sheep. You don't have to lecture me about wartime expenses. I'm quite familiar with them."
"And we are so grateful for your contributions which are necessary for the preservation of the realm."
"As is a royal wedding. The people are hungry for more than just food. They crave distractions. And if we don't provide them, they'll create their own. And their distractions are likely to end with us being torn to pieces. A royal wedding is much safer. Wouldn't you say?"
"I would."
"And traditionally paid for by the royal family."
Tyrion nodded.
The door opened and Podrick returned with the requested figs.
"I was told you were a drunk; impertinent and thoroughly debauched. You can imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a browbeaten bookkeeper. Where did you go for them, Volantis?" Olenna said.
"My lady-"
"Oh, very well. I won't have it said that House Tyrell refuses to play its part. We'll pay for half the expenses and the celebrations will go on as planned. Is that sufficient?"
"Quite sufficient. Thank you."
"Very good, then. That's settled. Good day."
Tyrion and Olenna stood, and she exited.
"Give me that." Tyrion said, taking a fig from Podrick's tray.
The Queen of Thorns certainly earned the moniker.
[King's Landing - Red Keep, Gardens]
Lady Sansa Stark and Lady Margaery Tyrell sat with a sumptuous meal, watching Ser Loras Tyrell and another man battle for show.
"He's such a splendid fighter. If your cousin is half as good, then... " She trailed off. "Do you have any idea when we might-"
"I'll plant the seed as soon as Joffrey and I are married. It should grow quickly."
"Joffrey won't let me leave. He's got too many reasons to keep me here."
"And only one to let you go. Because it will please me."
"Squire!" Loras shouted.
The squire, Olyvar, rushed forward to give Loras a goblet.
"Well fought, ser."
"That was no fight. I don't know you." Loras told him.
"Olyver, if it please you."
Olyvar started to undo the straps of Loras' practice armor. "I should like to see you spar with a proper partner, ser."
Loras chuckled.
Their eyes met, and a plan was made.
[Red Keep - Loras' Chambers]
Loras and Olyvar lied abed in passionate and hungry embrace. Olyvar was nude.
"How did you know?" Loras asked.
"Know what?"
"That I wanted to."
Olyvar stood to get a drink.
"My lord, I'll have you know I'm to be married soon and even my intended hasn't the slightest notion."
"They rarely do, in my experience."
Loras approached behind him. "You have a good deal of experience, do you?"
"With the husbands."
They embraced and returned to bed.
[Red Keep - Littlefinger's Chambers]
"That didn't take long." Littlefinger told Olyvar.
"Well, it took long enough. It seems though Knight of Flowers is engaged to be wed, he is content with having a little something on the side."
Littlefinger simply hmmed.
This did not bode well for Ser Loras.
[King's Landing, Shoreline Overlook]
Sansa looked out at a sailing ship in the bay.
"She may not be the grandest ship in the world or the fastest, but she's mine. I've alwys wanted a ship. Now I want a dozen. Strange, isn't it?" Littlefinger said, approaching silently.
"What is?"
"It doesn't matter what we want, once we get it, then we want something else. Your hair is different."
"Is it?"
"Lady Margaery wears it that way."
"Many ladies wear it this way."
"I have good news. I'll be leaving the city soon."
"You still want me to come with you?"
"It's not a question of what I want. It's what you want. You want to go home, don't you?"
"Of course. More than anything. But maybe it would be better to wait. I've been thinking how dangerous it would be. Not just for me, but for you. You've been so kind. I'd feel terrible if anything happened to you. I can't tell you how touched I am by your concern for my welfare."
"I hope you know that I'm your friend, Sansa. Your true friend."
"I do, Lord Baelish."
"Petyr."
"Petyr."
"If you wish to stay, then of course you will stay." Littlefinger kissed her hand. "We'll speak again when I return."
He promptly exited.
[Red Keep - Tywin's Chambers]
Tyrion entered, carrying a large tome. He spied Cersei and paused.
"You're late." His father told him.
"What's she doing here?"
"Our business concerns her, too. Sit."
Tyrion sat at the table. "You'll be pleased to learn that after one conversation with Olenna Tyrell, I've saved the crown hundreds of thousands on this wedding."
"Nevr mind that now. We have something important to discuss." Tywin dismissed.
"I'm Master of Coin. Saving money is important." He noticed his sister staring at him. "Stop that. You're making me uncomfortable."
"Your sister has learned that your new friends the Tyrells are plotting to marry Sansa Stark to Ser Alester Tyrell."
"Very well. She's a lovely girl."
"I bring them into the royal fold and this is how they repay me, by trying to steal the key to the North out from under me." Tywin said.
"Sansa is the key to the North? I seem to remember she has an older brother." Tyrion noted.
"The Karstarks have marched home. The young wolf has lost half his army. His days are numbered. Theon Greyjoy murdered both his brothers. That makes Sansa Stark the heir to Winterfell. And I am not about to hand her over to the Tyrells or their cousins." Tywin told them.
"The Tyrell army is helping us to win this war. Do you really think it's wise to refuse them?" Tyrion asked.
"There's nothing to refuse. This is a plot. Plots are not public knowledge. And the Tyrells won't carry this one out until after Joffrey's wedding. We need to act first and kill this union in its crib."
"And how do we do that?"
"We find Sansa Stark a different husband."
"Wonderful." Tyrion said.
"Yes, it is." Cersei said, amused.
Because of this, Tyrion quickly realized his father's intent to marry him to Sansa.
"You can't mean it."
"I can and I do."
"Joffrey has made this poor girl's life miserable since the day he took her father's head. Now she's finally free of him and you give her to me? That's cruel even for you-"
"Do you intend on mistreating her? The girl's happiness is not my concern, nor should it be yours." Tywin told him.
"She's a child!" Tyrion disputed.
"She's flowered, I assure you. She and I have discussed it at length." Cersei told him.
"There, you see? You will wed her, bed her, and put a child in her. Surely you're capable of that." Tywin mocked his youngest child.
"And if I refuse?"
"You wanted to be rewarded for your valour in battle. Sansa Stark is a finer reward than you could ever dare hope for. And it is past time you were wed."
"I was wed. Or don't you remember?" Tyrion reminded his father.
"Only too well."
"You should be thanking the gods for this. This is more than you deserve."
"Tyrion will do as he's bid. As will you."
"What do you mean?" Cersei asked, the smirk at her brother's disappointment disappearing.
"You'll marry Lord Baelor."
"I will not." Cersei refused.
"The boy is the son of Leyton Hightower, Margaery's uncle. His wife passed and left him no heirs. You have done a brilliant job at alienating our family from nearly every other kingdom. This is your best bet. Plus, I'm told Margaery is especially of her late mother's brother. Tyrion will secure the North, you will secure the Tyrell's obesience. With you married to one of their cousins, you will be able to prevent any future plots like this one."
"No, I won't do it."
"Yes, you will. You're still fertile. You need to marry again and breed."
"I am Queen Regent, not some broodmare."
"You're my daughter! You will do as I command and you will marry Baelor Hightower and put an end to the disgusting rumors about you once and for all." Tywin commanded.
"Father, don't make me do it again, please."
Tywin slammed his fist on the table and rose. "Not another word. My children. You've disgraced the Lannister name for far too long."
Tywin exited, leaving both Cersei and Tyrion to brood.
The next day, Tywin was in his chambers, sitting opposite Olenna Tyrell.
He wanted to bring up his marriage arrangements. Though Olenna had no close blood ties to Baelor Hightower, she was highly respected as the widow of the late Lord of Highgarden, Luthor Tyrell. Her approval was often sought when forging marriage alliances.
"Impossible." Olenna said as Tywin poured some wine.
"Why?"
"My grandchildren are the pride of Highgarden. My grandson is the most desirable bachelor in all seven kingdoms. He will wed your granddaughter and my granddaughter will wed your grandson, cementing ties between our families twice over for generations. Your daughter-"
"Is rich, one of the most beautiful woman in all seven kingdoms and the mother of the king." Tywin handed a glass to Lady Olenna Tyrell.
"Old."
"Old?"
"Old. I'm something of an expert on the subject. Her change will be upon her before long. I'll spare you the details of what will happen then. You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely."
"The years punish us as well, I promise you that. My stomach remains quite strong, however. There is also the matter of details of your grandson's nocturnal activities. Do you deny them?"
"Oh, not at all. A sword swallower through and through."
"And a boy with his affliction should be grateful for the opportunity to marry one of the most beautiful women in the kingdoms and remove the stain from his name."
"Did you grow up with boy cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stable boys?"
"Of course."
"And you nevr-"
"No."
"Not once? Not in any way?"
"Nevr."
"I congratulate you upon your restraint. But it's a natural thing, two boys having a go at each other beneath the sheets."
"Perhaps Highgarden has a high tolerance for unnatural behavior."
If only he knew his eldest granddaughter shared similar proclivities.
"I wouldn't say that. True, we don't tie ourselves in knots over a discreet bit of buggery, but brothers and sisters- where I come from, that stain would be very difficult to wash out."
"I will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it." Tywin said as he stood, offended. He poured himself more wine.
"Lie or not, you must admit many people find it quite convincing. Convincing enough to put swords in their hands and send them off to kill Lannisters and Tyrells thanks to our new affiliation."
"I don't care what people believe. And neither do you."
Olenna refused Tywin's offer for more wine. "As an authority on myself, I must disagree."
"Now, if the rumors about my children were true, then Joffrey is no king at all and House Tyrell is throwing its prized flower into the dirt."
"And if Cersei is too old to give Baelor children, we're throwing another prized flower into the dirt. It is a chance we simply cannot take."
"The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable. All right. I'll remove it for you." Tywin sat back down at his desk. "If you refuse to marry Baelor to Cersei, I will name Loras him to the Kingsguard. I'm sure you're familiar with the Kingsguard vows. He will nevr marry. He will nevr have children. I can find a more suitable, prosporous. match for my granddaughter."
"Oh?"
"The Tyrell name will fade. And Highgarden will go to the children of Joffrey and Margaery."
"You would have your grandson protected by someone who disgusts you?"
"I would have my grandson protected by a skilled warrior who takes his vows seriously. So, shall I draw up the order? Or do you consent to this marriage?"
Tywin took up a quill and prepared to write. Olenna stood, and took the quill from his hand.
"It's a rare enough thing- a man who lives up to his reputation." She snapped the quill.
[Red Keep - Gardens Overlook]
Lord Tyrion Lannister and Queen Cersei Lannister watched Sansa and Alester, who had arrived that very afternoon, alongside his great uncle, Baelor, from afar.
"I don't suppose there's anything we can do about this." Tyrion told his sister.
"We can have them both killed."
"It's hard to say which of the four of us is getting the worst of this arrangement. Probably Sansa. Though Baelor will certainly come to know a deep and singular misery."
"Father doesn't discriminate. We're all being shipped off to hell together."
They move inside and Cersei sat.
"On a boat you built."
"The Tyrells were plotting to undermine our family. I did what I did to protect our family."
"I'm your family. A member of your family who has actively contributed to that family's survival. Whether or not you or Father or anyone else wants to admit it."
"I do admit it. If it weren't for your trick with the wildfire, Stannis would have sacked the city before Father got here. Our heads would still be rotting on the city gate."
"Trying to have me killed is an odd way of saying thank you. There are two people in King's Landing who can give an order to a Kingsguard. Did you or did you not order Ser Mandon to kill me during the Battle of the Blackwater?"
Cersei didn't answer.
"The impulse I understand. He hates me because I'm the only one who tells him what he really is. So, fair enough. He wants me dead. But his stupidity? He could have had me poisoned and no one would have known. But the king orders a Kingsguard to murder the Hand of the King in full view of his own army. The boy's an idiot."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me if my life is still in danger."
"Probably. But not from Joffrey. He won't do anything now Father's here."
"Seven kingdoms united in fear of Tywin Lannister."
"Not the Tyrells. Soon they won't need to be afraid of him. Joffrey will belong to Margaery, the little doe-eyed whore. And so will his children and their children. History will be taken from our hands."
"You may escape, at least. Once Jaime gets back, Ser Baelor may come down with a terrible case of sword through bowels."
"When Jaime gets back, yes. But when do we think that's going to be? He's out there somewhere."
"Jaime or not, I'm truly fucked."
"Who's going to tell her?"
[Red Keep - Sansa's Chambers]
Shae helped Sansa with her dress.
"Do you think people will like it?"
"I don't think they will even notice it."
"You're right. It's not my wedding. Anyway, from what I can tell, the dressmakers in Highgarden will be far superior to the ones in King's Landing. They'd never make me anything as dull as this for my wedding. Loras likes green and gold brocade."
"I'm sure he does."
"Will they let me invite my family?" Sansa asked, naively.
"They haven't asked my opinion."
"But do you think they will?"
"No."
The door opened.
"Lady Sansa, Lord Tyrion to see you. Should I-" A maid inquired.
Tyrion entered, catching Sansa partially dressed. "I beg your pardon, my lady."
Shae helped Sansa to recover her decency.
"Good afternoon, Lord Tyrion. I was just trying on a gown for King Joffrey's wedding."
"Yes, it should be quite a wedding. I need to speak with you, Lady Sansa."
"Of course."
"Alone, if I may."
"Why do you need to speak to her alone?" Shae snarked.
"Shae. Please excuse her, Lord Tyrion. She's not from here. But I trust her, even though she tells me not to."
"Sometimes we think we want to hear something and it's only afterwards when it's too late that we realize we wished we'd heard it under entirely different circumstances."
"It's all right, really." Sansa insisted.
Tyrion closed the door. "How to begin? It's- this- this- this is awkward.
He was fumbling over himself as he tried to explain the purpose of his visit, which certainly wasn't a pleasant one.
[King's Landing - Red Keep, Throne Room]
Varys and Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish stood looking at the Iron Throne.
"A thousand blades taken from the hands of Aegon's fallen enemies, forged in the fiery breath of Balerion the Dread." Varys mentioned.
"There aren't. There aren't even two hundred. I've counted."
"Ha, I'm sure you have. Ugly old thing. Yet it has a certain appeal. The Lysa Arryn of chairs. Shame you had to settle for your second choice."
"Early days, my friend. It is flattering, really, you feeling such dread at the prospect of me getting what I want."
"Thwarting you has nevr been my primary ambition, I promise you. Although who doesn't like to see their friends fail now and then?"
"You're so right. For instance, when I thwarted your plan to give Sansa Stark to the Tyrells. If I'm going to be honest, I did feel an unmistakable sense of enjoyment there. But your confidant, the one who fed you information about my plans, the one you swore to protect, you didn't bring her any enjoyment. And she didn't bring me any enjoyment. She was a bad investment on my part. Luckily, I have a friend who wanted to try something new. Something daring. And he was grateful to me for providing this fresh experience."
"I did what I did for the good of the realm."
"The realm? Do you know what the realm is? It's the thousand blades of Aegon's enemies. A story we agree to tell each other over and over till we forget it's a lie."
"But what do we have left once we abandon the lie? Chaos. A gaping pit, waiting to swallow us all."
The two men stood in silence staring at one another.
In his chambers, Joffrey sat pensively with his crossbow. He stood and walked out, past the bloodied corpse of Ros. Her hands were tied above her head, and she was pierced by multiple crossbow bolts.
In the gardens, Sansa and Shae watched a boat sail away from King's Landing. Sansa weeped hopelessly, while Shae was sad but resolute.
Her escape had been thwarted once again. She was stuck with the family who were doing everything to end hers. And now she was to marry one of them.