--Alaric POV--
"Mama! Mama! Look! I drew a picture of our family at school today-"
"Not now, Rick. Mama's busy."
Too busy to spare me a single glance.
***
"Mama, can I take swimming lessons with all my friends?"
"No, how's swimming going to help you? If you want to do something, do self-defence instead, that way you can protect our family."
Could I not do both? I couldn't even muster up the courage to ask. Because I already know the answer; No. No. No. It's always no.
***
"Mama, I want to be an actor just like you!"
No, I didn't. I just wanted you to give me some attention.
"Oh, really? But what about your father's business?"
I didn't want to do that either.
"Papa can give his business to Uncle Tonio. I want to be an actor!"
No, I wanted to be a doctor. But that's a forgotten dream now.
***
"Mama! Can you test me on my lines? I don't want to make any mistakes,"
"You won't make any mistakes, you're my son after all."
"But mama-"
"Ask your manager to help you, that's what he's there for."
Then what are you here for?
What am I here for?
Why am I alive if you, my mother, doesn't want me here?
***
"Mama!"
Look at me.
"Papa!"
Please, look at me.
But they never looked. And they'll never look.
***
"Alaric! Where are you going!? Packing your bags like this without even giving us proper notice!?" She screamed, following me down the steps as I rushed to get out of this suffocating household while towing my suitcase with me.
"I'm leaving this place, I'm never coming back."
"How could you say that!? You've suddenly gotten big and famous and now you're turning your back on your family!?-"
"-No! You turned your back on me! What do you want an abandoned child to do!? I'm not a dog that's going to sit around, waiting to be saved! If I can save myself then I'll do it because I've been waiting my whole life for you to save me, but you never have! You never will!"
"What in the world are you talking about!? Are you listening to yourself right now!? You just got here, and now you're already leaving!? Didn't you miss us when you were in America!?"
"I can ask you the same thing."
"What?"
"How many times have you called me?"
"I-I don't know, why would I remember that-"
"Three times. One to congratulate me on winning the best actor of the year award. Two to tell me that Abuela passed away. And three to tell me that Abuelo passed away. Other than those three times, it's only ever been me that's called you, and most of the time you were too busy to even pick up the damned phone."
"I-I... I didn't mean to; You know that I'm busy-"
"-And I've apparently got all the time in the world? For you, to impress you, I've been working like an animal! Accepting whatever script came my way, losing sleep to memorise my lines, and becoming people that I don't know all to impress you! But you never even look at me!"
"Alaric, don't shout." She sobbed out.
"Everything I do, I do for you! But you don't like me! You don't want me! I'm an embarrassment to you!"
"Don't say that, please. I don't love anyone as much as I love you..." She says she listens to me, but every time she speaks, she proves otherwise.
"I act. And I act. And I act. So much that Alaric Clemente doesn't even exist anymore, there are so many characters living in my head, but none of them can seem to understand why Alaric had to suffer the way you made him suffer. Am I not your son? Am I not your blood?" Like her, I couldn't hide the tears, but unlike hers, my tears had the right to fall.
"Have I not done enough!? How much more of myself must I sacrifice for you to finally act like my mother!? How desperate do I have to be to have your love!? I'm your child, goddamn it! I'm not a stranger, but a child that you yourself created!"
I screamed, and I sobbed all the anguish out to her that day.
But whether she changed after hearing my words didn't really matter, because that was the day I stopped caring, and stopped yearning for her love.
"I'm leaving today. And nothing you do will stop me." Sniffling, I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, retreating with my bags as she took slow steps towards me, opening and closing her mouth to find something to say.
But she knew then that it was too late.
"Goodbye, mother."
And I left without looking back even once.
***
"Are you planning on sleeping forever?" The sunlight danced along her skin, the stars shining in her eyes, and the radiant smile that I loved more than anything washed all my nightmares away.
I didn't need that mother. Nowadays, those nightmares have become nothing more than troubling memories thanks to her. I wake up and I feel warmth that replaces the coldness of my nightmares with nothing but a smile that she has just for me.
"Is it morning already?" I groaned.
"Yes, it is. In fact, it's almost afternoon. You must have been tired after all that shouting at dinner yesterday. Goodness me, you were like a different person." She stifled her laughter as her fingers absentmindedly ran through locks of my bed hair.
"Are you making fun of me right now, babe?" I couldn't hold the laugh, holding her hand as I placed it above my chest after kissing along her knuckles.
"Yeah, I am." She leaned down, kissing my forehead.
"Well, we're leaving today so hopefully you'll never have to see that side of me again." The pregnant silence that hung in the air after those words left my lips didn't leave any good thoughts in my head.
This minx was up to something.
"What are you thinking, Ines?" I asked, blinking one eye open.
"Well, there's a problem." She innocently started.
"And is that problem going to keep us from going back home?"
"Hey, I want to go home as much as you do. You think I enjoyed all that drama yesterday? I know I like drama, but not when I'm a part of it," She hissed, offended, flicking my forehead as I jokingly glared at her.
"But yes, it probably will... I started my period, and I've got terrible cramps so I don't think I can travel today. Especially on that long flight, I won't survive it, Rick."
She was such a terrible actress.
And did she really think I wouldn't see past it? Her next period isn't due for another 12 days, and she's never started more than two days early before.
But goodness me, she really was so adorable.
And, I'm not going to lie, I'm curious about what she's scheming, but it wasn't a hard guess... Something to do with me forgiving my parents for all that they've done?
"My, oh my. If you put it like that then there's not much I can do... If my woman is suffering from period cramps, then me, being the lovely lover that I am, should go out of his way to make sure she feels comfortable, right?" She blinked, confused that I had bought her lie, but she didn't dwell on it for too long, widening her smile as she nodded her head.
"Yeah, and to start with, you can go and buy me some pads from the shops. And I want chocolate too." She jumped out of bed, grabbing my arm as she tried pulling me up, and given her strength, it wasn't a hard feat to accomplish.
"Alright, let me wash up and get ready then. Any requests for the chocolate?" I walked over to the suitcase as I spoke, picking out a simple outfit to wear.
"Surprise me." I laughed, rolling my eyes at her antics as I spared her a last glance, watching as she hurried me into the bathroom to start with her plans of something, but seeing her so happy made me willing to go through anything for her. And that included staying a little longer than planned in this hellhole.
Forgiving my parents seemed a lot easier before the whole dinner fiasco took place, now I don't know if I can even look them in the eye anymore. But I didn't want to give up even now, because I know that she wants me to make up with my family.
But if I do manage to forgive them and move on with my life, I wonder if those nightmares will persist?
When I left the bathroom, the bedroom was devoid of any Ines. So, quickly getting ready to head out, I brushed my hair, put some cologne on, and folded the sleeves of my shirt up to my elbows before heading downstairs to the dining room where light chatter was heard coming from.
"You're ready?" She was, of course, the first one I saw as I headed straight to her, holding her cheek in my palm while pecking her lips.
And with her, Uncle Tonio was sat on the table with a newspaper in hand and his daughter, Ela munching on some cereal as she scrolled through TikTok on her phone.
"Yeah, I'll head out now. Is there anything other than those two things you need?" I asked, feeling my pocket to make sure that I didn't forget to put my wallet in there.
"No, that's everything... Thank you."
"Good morning to you too, nephew." Uncle Tonio spoke, eyes still cast on his newspaper.
"Yeah, morning." I mumbled, feeling a little awkward after having shouted at my parents in front of the whole extended family yesterday. This is more embarrassing than I thought it would be, but nothing I can do about it now, those words needed to be said.
"I thought you were leaving today?" Ela asked.
"There's been a change of plan thanks to a certain someone." I side-eyed my darling as I spoke, and she gave me a toothy grin in response. Chuckling, I pecked her forehead before standing up straight to head out.
"I'll head out now." She walked me to the front door, watching as I slipped into my shoes, and I took the opportunity to steal a last kiss from her before leaving.
But as I left the house, I noticed the figure of my father in the front garden, going to his car but stopping when he heard me from behind.
"What are you doing?" I asked, feeling the smile on my face slip away.
"Going to pick your mother up from the shops... You?"
"I need to buy Ines some stuff." I answered curtly, going to walk passed him, but stopping in my tracks as he called out to me.
"What?" I almost spat. He pointed back to his car.
"Need a ride?"
"No, I'll take a taxi." I didn't hesitate, but as he continued to stand there looking deflated, I paused in opening the taxi app on my phone, my eyes panning back to look at the house where Ines was leaning against the open front door, too far to hear this conversation, but noticing my gaze, her face lit up into a smile.
And I was reminded; She's going through all this effort for me, I can't ignore it.
So, I tucked my phone back into my pocket, going to get into the passenger side of his car, but as I opened the door and he was still stuck in a trance, watching me as if I weren't real, I gestured to the other side of the car.
"What? The offer isn't available anymore?"
"No, no. I'm coming." And he quickly walked around the car as I sighed, praying to whatever God was up there to not make this journey an awkward one.
If it weren't for the radio being on, the journey would have been a completely awkward one where I ended myself by jumping out of a moving car, but thankfully, that didn't have to happen.
"Remember when I gave you driving lessons in this car?" Yeah, I also remember how you got mad at me for failing my first test, but I chose not to say that. I think I humiliated them enough yesterday evening to not have to do the same thing today.
"...Yeah." Is all I went with saying instead as another few minutes of silence passed between us, until he, once again, broke it with a question.
"Hey, what you said yesterday... About almost drowning... Was it true?"
"Are you calling me a liar?"
Maybe I was the problem? I seem to like getting angry for no apparent reason at them.
"I know I'm an actor, but I don't go around lying about such bleak things... I was on my first date with Ines on my yacht when her boss, Malachi Kingston, found the need to intrude, and he accidentally pushed me overboard. And I realised then that I couldn't swim, but she jumped in and saved me without a second thought."
Moments of silence hung in the air, and I wondered just how far this shopping district was because it's taking longer than I remember to get there.
"...I'm sorry." About time. Only took him 31 years.
"About me almost dying?"
"I wish you would have told me; I know I'm not good at being a father, and that I've made more mistakes than one should be allowed to make, but believe it or not, you are my son. And I care for you in a way that I can't put in words; Maybe you'll understand if you're ever gifted with children? But I wished you would have told me,"
"There was nothing you could have done. Besides, if I called, would you have found the time to pick up or even call back?" I turned to look out the window, the familiar streets jolting memories. I used to run along these streets with my friends, I wonder how they're all doing, probably getting along with their parents better than I am with mine.
"I regret my choices. I regret everything that I've done, and I can't take back the time that I've lost. I know that, but still, I want you to know that I'm sorry. For everything. And you don't need to forgive me, you don't need to even try. Just let me try to be a father to you."
"I don't really need a father anymore. I'm a grown man." I reminded.
"I know... But still..." He was desperate, and I had so many cold things I could have said at that time, but miraculously, I managed to hold myself back. Because some part of me knew; I knew that if I really am gifted with my own children one day, then I don't want them to be distant from their extended family.
"I'll think about it."
And finally, we arrived at the shopping district as I got out of the car, catching sight of my waiting mother on the sidewalk with a few shopping bags surrounding her while she spoke to someone, a smile on her face that I used to love looking at.
"Alaric?" She called, pleasantly surprised by my presence.
"I got a ride from him." I explained, hand in my pocket as I stood in front of her, greeting the lady she'd been talking to with a polite nod as my father went to park the car.
"Oh my! You're Alaric Clemente, aren't you!?" Oh yeah, I forgot I was famous. "Mariana's always talking about you, but I never thought the day would come where I get to meet you." She gushed, eyeing me up and down as if I were a piece of fine steak.
"She is?" I raised a half-amused brow, not believing her.
"Yes... But she's never said you were this handsome in real life! The televisions don't do your exquisitely crafted face any justice," She's creative with her words, this woman. Exquisitely crafted face? Just say handsome.
"Thank you?"
"Are you single?"
"No thank you, I'm not interested in older women." I raised a hand, shaking my head.
"Not for me, silly. For my daughter, she's an accountant, and quite the looker, and she's only 25, and looking to mingle, I'm sure you would make an adorable couple-"
"-My son's not single." My mother cut her off just in time.
"Oh?" The strange lady blinked.
"Yeah, I'm not single. I've got very particular taste in women too, so I don't think I'll like your daughter, no offence to any of you though."
"Oh, please. It can't be that particular."
"She needs to be 5 ft 5, with black 3B or 3C hair, blue eyes, have a sexy beauty spot on her collarbone, be a singer, 23-years-old, and come from a family of nine- Oh, and her name has to be Ines." Ines Silvia Agua, to be specific.
Her jaw was hanging open by the time I finished with my sentence, but my mother quickly intervened before the woman could become offended.
"He's engaged to Ines Agua. The singer that every Human can unanimously agree on that she is the most beautiful person alive." I personally agree with that statement on a spiritual level, and it's not just because I love Ines, I have eyes.
"No way-"
"-I'm going to go now, I need to go buy some things for Ines, goodbye." Nodding, I sidestepped them as I headed into the mall, stopping to buy a hat to cover my face from onlookers as much as possible. How could I forget that I'm famous?
As I bought Ines her pads which she won't be using since she's not on her period, I bought some chocolates and sweets as well, and on my way out of the shopping mall, I stopped by an appealing jewellery store, wanting to buy her something more than chocolates and pads.
"For your girlfriend?" One of the clerks asked, a smile on her face.
"For my wife."
"Lucky woman." She chuckled.
"Trust me, I'm the lucky one."
"Is there anything in particular that you're looking for which I might be able to help with?" She asked politely, and I took a moment to think about it.
"She looks good in everything, but personally, I like her the best in pearls."
"A fine choice indeed." She moved over to show me some pearls, and as I observed the pearl choker that came with matching earrings, the presence of a familiar woman stopping besides me made me stop, turning to look at her.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"We were waiting for you, but you were taking longer than expected so I came in to find you... Are these for Ines?" My mother asked, her eyes scanning over the jewellery.
"Yes," I found myself answering.
"She'll look amazing in this one. Has she already gotten everything for the wedding? The dress, shoes, jewellery?" Why is she suddenly so curious? But, once again, I answered anyway.
"I don't know, she's not giving anything away because she wants me to be surprised. But she went shopping with Sandra so I'm guessing she's already got everything," And I went back to looking at the jewellery, nodding at the clerk.
"I'll take these." And her face lit up at having sold something, quickly nodding her head as she took it to the cash register to process while I followed along, taking my wallet out.
"What about a bridal party? Will she be doing one?"
"I don't think she even knows what that is. And besides, I think Sandra's the only friend she has so it won't even be possible."
"And you?"
"No, I don't have many friends either to do a Bachelor party." I shrugged. Maybe my manager? But that's just sad.
"Then who'll be going to the wedding?" She was gobsmacked.
"Me and Ines. And Sandra's the maid of honour, of course. Daniel's my best man since Maxwell... Well, yeah. Her brother's on the guest list, and we're not sure about the rest of her siblings. Some fellow work colleagues of ours are coming too... And that's about it." It was only when we were planning out the wedding invites that both of us realised that we didn't have a lot of friends. So, it's not willingly a small and intimate wedding.
"But, I was thinking..." I started, itching the back of my neck.
"Yes?" She pushed, curious.
I'm not forgiving them, but I would like to. I want to live a peaceful life without getting angry every time I see them, and I want my children to grow up surrounded by people so that they won't have to be as lonely as I was.
"Would you like to come to my wedding? You and the family?"
...