Seokjin looked up from where he's sitting, when a cup of steaming coffee obstructed his view of the floor. Namjoon gave a soft smile, a one that Seokjin wanted to return, but couldn't. His lips refused to curved up in to even the smallest smile, no matter how hard he tried.
So, he silently took the cup, noticing for the first time how cold his hands were, when they slightly brushed against Namjoon's warm ones.
Namjoon had a coffee cup of his own, and they both silently drank. He didn't want to break whatever the truce they were having. It definitely beats getting yelled at by the elder doctor. Nor did he want to make Seokjin uncomfortable by asking questions, he was content with offering his support silently like this.
"When I was 19, I realized I was gay."
Namjoon snapped his head towards Seokjin, who was still staring at the floor. The voice was so soft and quiet, that Namjoon first thought he imagined it. But then, Seokjin started to speak again.
"I… uhh.. fell in love with my best friend. Geun and I had been friends since we were in diapers. We were neighbors and our dads were business partners. We practically grew up together. There wasn't a time where you could see one of us without the other."
"I don't know when my feelings started to change from friendship to something else. There wasn't a drastic change, you know. Or a light-bulb moment. Maybe it changed gradually over the years and I just didn't realize. One day, when a girl in our school gave a valentine's day card to him and he accepted it, that's when it suddenly hit me. I was in love with my best friend."
"I was so naive about the world that it didn't even feel wrong to me. I always thought we'd be together forever, it didn't change anything for me when that together had a romantic notion added to it too. So, one day, I confessed to him."
Namjoon listened silently all this time, but when Seokjin's hands started to shake where they were wrapped around the coffee cup, Namjoon couldn't sit still anymore. He cautiously put his arm around Seokjin's shoulders, and pulled the latter into his embrace. Seokjin moved pliantly, resting his head on Namjoon's shoulder. The rhythmic moving of the younger's breathing managed to dull down the ache in Seokjin's own heart.
"I honestly thought he liked me too. Well, maybe he did, but was just afraid to say so. I can't blame him, given what happened afterwards. He was smart to reject me. Love or not, he was still the person I cared about the most in the world. And at that time, I was glad he didn't had to go through what I went through."
"I think he just panicked. He called me names. Called me a freak and disgusting. He also told his father about what happened, which is the part I couldn't get my head wrapped around. He knew what he was unleashing on me by doing that. He had to know."
"His father called mine and… Well, my life has never been the same. To put things mildly, I got kicked out of the house. Luckily, one of my aunts took me in, let me continue with my education. She died when I was in medical school. Been alone ever since."
"My father is homophobic, in case you didn't get that with his outburst earlier." Seokjin gave a humorless laugh. "I don't think my Mom feels that strongly about it, but she would still not say a word against my dad. Not that I wanted her to. For a long time, I hated myself. I now know I'm not a sick or a disgusting person but the 19 year old me believed my father when he said I was one. I believed that I was an abomination that didn't deserve the air I'm breathing."
"I hated myself so much that when my best friend found the courage to face the truth, I abandoned him. When he refused to get engaged to the girl his family chose for him and came to my doorstep two days prior to the engagement, I kicked him out. I fully believed myself to be the sick person my dad spoke of. I wanted to get cured. I wanted to be better. I wanted to be his son again."
"When I turned my back on my friend, it destroyed him. Especially since he had gambled his entire life on it. He was never the same. Got involved in drugs and died a few years later. I never forgave myself. I vowed never to get involved in another person's life. Never to destroy another life like that. I gave you such a hard time too, right?"
Namjoon's breath hitched in his throat. "Y-you knew?"
Seokjin moved away from the embrace and rolled his eyes at the other's flustered state. "Namjoon.. only a blind man would not see. I had one of my patients' grandmother telling me to give you a chance."
"Oh."
They sat silently for a few more minutes before Namjoon spoke up in a soft voice.
"So, would you?"
Seokjin didn't have to ask what the other was referring to. "I think you earned that chance a long time ago. I was just… afraid."
"You don't have to be." Namjoon couldn't stop the small smile that came on to his face. "Not.. not when it's me."
"Yeah." Seokjin looked down at his lap again, but not before Namjoon saw the slight smile blooming there too. "I know that now."
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, just enjoying each other's company. Namjoon was curious about something though, but he didn't know how to ask about it. Finally, when he couldn't take the suspense anymore, he spoke up.
"Uhhh.. I'm not sure whether it's okay to ask this even. The man your brother is in a relationship with… it's the idol Jeon Jungkook right?" Namjoon whistled when Seokjin nodded in confirmation. "How the hell did that happen?"
"Well, not many people know this but they went to the same high-school. And they had been together since then. I didn't know till much later either. I've had very little contact with Tae after my dad kicked me out of the house. We reconnected years later, when he had established himself as an actor and was somewhat out of my dad's influence."
Jin looked up at Namjoon and gave another smile. "I am so grateful for all you did for him."
"I did nothing. I was just coincidentally at the right place." Namjoon mumbled. "Still, I'm happy to earn the brownie points."
Seokjinl laughed at that, the first genuine laugh Namjoon saw in a while. But it was immediately followed by a yawn, which Seokjin tried to hide behind his palm.
"You're tired." Namjoon said as he got up from the chair. "When was the last time you slept?"
"Hmm.. the day before yesterday, I guess. Didn't get to sleep last night."
"That's it. You're going home."
Seokjin shook his head in protest. "No, I have patients. I can't-"
"You can. I'll ask them to page Dr Lee. He will take care of your urgent patients."
"Namjoon, I-"
"Shhh.." Namjoon effectively shut the other up by placing a finger over his lips. "Come on, let me take you home. Please.."
Seokjin stayed silent for a few seconds, his eyes blazing with an unknown emotion. But Namjoon held his ground. He stared at the other's eyes with a steady gaze, refusing to back down.
"Yah!" Seokjin tried to sound crossed but cringed when it came out as a whine. "I'm older than you."
"Yes, yes, hyung-nim." Namjoon answered with a half bow. "But right now, you have to listen to this dongsaeng."
After a few seconds of silent staring, Seokjin gave in and they both went to get their stuff. Seokjin's place was only about 15 minutes from the hospital and as Namjoon requested, the elder let him drive. Once they were there, Namjoon rode the elevator up to Seokjin's apartment, despite the latter saying he could manage.
"Well-" Seokjin looked a little lost for words. "Do you wanna come in for tea or something..?"
"That's okay." Namjoon declined with a smile. "See you later, Dr Kim."
Namjoon turned back and could only take a single step when Seokjin's hand shot out to grab his arm. "Wait-"
Namjoon turned around and looked at the elder, who was trying to avoid Namjoon's gaze. "Yes?"
"You can-.. you can call me Jin."
"Jin?" Namjoon loved the way the name sounded. "Jin hyung?"
Seokjin shrugged. "Whatever you like."
"Okay."
When the elevator closed after Namjoon, Seokjin finally went inside his apartment. He slid down against the closed door, before hiding his blushing face in his palms.
_____________________________________
"How are you feeling now?"
Taehyung gave a little smile to his fiance. "Same as you asked 10 minutes ago, Kookie. I don't think it'll change in the next 10 minutes either."
Jungkook huffed a little. "Glad to know my misery is amusing to you."
"You're right, I'm sorry."
"Don't tease me, Tae. You have no idea what I went through." Jungkook's voice was barely above a whisper.
Taehyung gently ran his hand over Jungkook's soft locks of hair. Maybe he was over-thinking but even Jungkook's hair seems to have lost its liveliness. The idol's eyes had visible dark circles under them and his cheeks, the ones that Taehyung likes to bite into, seemed a lot hollower than usual."
"I'm sorry." Taehyung whispered again.
"It's not your fault." Jungkook's voice had a certain edge to it. "Don't worry though. I won't let them come close to you again like this."
"Kookie-"
"Jimin is getting the team to gather information and evidence linking Sana to her mafia Uncle. He said they are making good progress. Once we have enough, I'm going to hold a press conference and reveal."
"Jungkook, No!" Taehyung immediately protested. "That will destroy both your careers. You won't be able to get up from such a scandal. Just let the police handle it."
"Just giving it to the police won't be enough. They have influence all over. We need to let the public know. I don't mind. I will do whatever it takes to make sure she's behind bars. If my career is the price to pay for it, so be it."
"No. I won't let you do that."
"That's not your choice, Tae." Jungkook gave a small smile. "You just focus on getting better, okay. I'll take care of everything else."
Jungkook's voice had a note of finality that Taehyung couldn't shake, no matter how hard he tried or how much he pleaded.
Jungkook had already made up his mind. A storm is about to be hit and all Taehyung could do was to pray for a miracle for his fiance to come out of it unscathed