(Amy's POV)
Every now in then I will sit in our bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about our beautiful children we made together. How they are living life without you, just as I am. I would have never imagine you'd go first. You died doing what you loved, though. Died as a hero. I have to remind myself that constantly. I guess I should have expected it. You have came to so many close calls before. But, seeing our oldest daughter trying to process the meaning of death. She's eight-years-old now, and she's slowly understanding it. It's heart shattering. We decided to have you cremated, we spread some of your ashes and ever since then all I could see is our daughter's teary eyes watch them as they fall. We had a stuffed toy made for our younger son with your ashes inside. I kept a ring with your ashes inside the stone. It's been 2 years since your passing. Most of everyone we know has mostly moved on, excluding Tails. I haven't actually slept in our bed since your passing. If I'm in our bedroom, I just usually hug your pillow and try to savor your smell. I tried so hard to wash it out. It still smelled like you, and that's why I can't sleep in here. After about 10:30 I get up and start my day with a cup of coffee. The house is eerily silent, our children went with your parents, and Uncle Tails to the beach. They deserved it with school starting in a couple of weeks. I'm trying my hardest to get back into routine now that the kids are going to away from home more.
Cream and her mom still runs their cafe in town, and they're gonna have me work there. I need to get out of the house, anyway. Cream will be starting her own career soon. She surprised me as she grew up very interested in fashion, and over the years with her mom's help, she landed an opportunity to purchase a spot to design and sell her clothing. I never felt so proud. Since she'll be away finalizing some paperwork with her mother, so I'll be working with some other employees instead. I stand before the closet and sighed. It's been 2 years. You've got this, Amy. I pick out a white top, with the uniform provided for the employees. It's just a simple blue apron with the emblem of the company's name "Vanilla's Cafe". I positioned my name tag near the front pocket.
I left the porch light on in case I have a later shift. I lock the front door, fix my purse strap on my shoulders, and hold my coffee tumbler close to me as I make my way towards the cafe. The cafe is located almost at the end of street, it's an adorable little building. Suits Vanilla perfectly. I hesitate at the door, before Cream rushes towards me, and embraces me tightly. I embrace her just as tightly. "I'm so glad you showed up, Amy!" Her gaze was apologetic. "We shouldn't be too long," she squeezed my hands. Understanding that I haven't been in the work environment since Sonic passed away. "Alex, and Clarice will be there to help. Ciara should be in soon too." I didn't say much, just nodded and gave Vanilla and Cream one last hug before they hurried over to a nearby taxi. Immediately, the smells of cupcakes, cookies, and coffee is overwhelming to my senses as I step inside. Alex is the first one to greet me, and help me find a spot in the back to put my belongings. Clarice greeted me once she finalized the customer's order. They're both wonderful company. They ask which task I prefer to do. Cream must have told them I have been out of work for awhile. I ask to keep up with inventory, restock items, and clean. After about a slow hour or two, the customers started pouring in as I was cleaning off a table. We got a phone call from Cream that everything went well finalizing the paperwork, and payment. However, they discovered some electrical issues, and wasn't sure how long that would take. We were all doing well, by ourselves, but I know Cream and her mother felt awful about abandoning them at the cafe. After the phone conversation, we continued on handling orders, I was able to take care of some costumers at the register, while another employee took a restroom break and Ciara handled a big to-go order.
It's been about 6 hours that I've been at the cafe, I was told by Ciara to go to my break. I actually felt hungry for a change. I finished sweeping under the booth nearby, then she took over willingly. We each had 30 minutes, unless we were running slower than normal. Ciara encouraged that I take a longer break if needed. I grabbed my purse, and stepped outside. Looking down at the various shops nearby. A diner caught my eye. It was one of Sonic's favorites. I hadn't been in years. I don't think I can handle going in there. I stop in front of the door. Hesitating, to go inside. It's torture. I see a sign with hot dogs topped with every topping that I could think of. The sight of it made me sick to my stomach. I shook my head, and I pushed myself to open pull the door towards me and walk indoors. Nothing had changed about the diner. Same smells, same workers, the only difference was some of the decor. I picked a booth near the entrance. I sighed in relief. It's a step forward. A familiar waitress came up with a big smile, "Good evening! Just one menu?" She kind of looked confused, I guess she remembered Sonic and I coming here often. I felt a lump in my throat.
"Yes please. Can I have a water?" I asked, before she handed me the menu, and some utensils rolled up in napkins. She nodded, and went towards the bar while I looked over the menu. The first item I noticed was of course the well-known chili dogs that Sonic loved so much. I didn't eat them very much, but I loved making them for him at home and his excitement when he came home to a good handful of chili dogs. When the waitress came back, I asked for a chili dog, with no jalapeño or onions, and a side of steak fries. The waitress actually looked shocked; I'm sure she remembers I would mainly order a salad here. She went back to the bar, and gave the cooks my ticket. I sat back and waited. Feeling antsy, I got up and fiddled with the boombox to find something. Sonic always liked rock. I picked a random playlist, and played it on shuffle. It played Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival. As it played my feet tapped along with the beat, while I opened my bag and retrieved my phone to see if there were any missing calls, or text messages. I only saw a few from Tails letting me know how there kids were. I opened one text message that had an image attached to it. Before the picture, Tails had texted:
Mach got stung by a jellyfish. He's ok! He handled it like a pro. It looked really nasty so we took him to ER. got him some painkillers to relieve the swelling.
I scrolled down, and noticed he sent me another about two hours ago,
You doing ok? How's work?
Of course he was worried about my wellbeing. Always did. I went to type a message back.
It's going well, I'm on break now! I respond with a heart emoji. I notice the bar on the bottom of the message box spin, until it shows delivered. I put my phone aside when I hear the waitress come to my table 10 minutes later with my food. I thanked her and stare down at my order. I munch on the fries, not daring to take a bite of the chili dog just yet. Memories of Sonic sitting with me, at this diner come flashing back to me. I could picture Sonic enjoying his meal, messy as ever, napkins and napkins piled on his side of the table. I was always so disgusted by it, but I missed seeing that messiness. Back at home, I was use to random clutter (he called it his hobby), but after his death, I had to hide all of that clutter of his. I felt like I was cleaning after him constantly, but that's what he got for marrying a neat freak. Although, he would do his best to keep the house tidy when I had a bad day, or was under the weather. I was so grateful for that. Since his death, the house hasn't been as tidy as I typically preferred. It didn't feel the same anymore. I shook my head, and turned my focus back on my food. I probably need to get back to work soon, anyway. I glance at the time on my phone. I have exactly 25 minutes before my break is over. I know I shouldn't worry, but I didn't want them having to pick up for my slack. I finally managed to eat my chili dog. It was okay. I didn't understand Sonic's fascination with it, but it was edible. The waitress' timing was the worst, as she approached the table after I dabbed a napkin at the corner of my mouth wiping off any chili remains. "Do you need anything else?" She asked, "we have several dessert options if you like?" I shook my head no, "It's so nice seeing you-" she paused, "it's Amy... right?" I forced a smile and a nod. "Where's your fella? I hadn't seen him in ages!" She exclaimed, as she took my empty basket of food, and refilled my glass of water. "I remember all the times he'd-" I interrupted her my eyes met hers. Her lips formed a straight line, as if she shouldn't have said anything in the first place.
"He died." I hate saying those two harsh words. I probably sounded so cold towards her; when I didn't mean to. I felt my hands shake, and my eyes sting. No. We agreed to not cry today. "It was all over the news, was it not?" More words formed, dry, and cold. I looked down. I couldn't look at her. I shook as I reached for my phone, and put it in my purse.
She swallowed, "I'm sorry... I -" she backed away, when I stood to my feet. I didn't realize I was even standing. I felt sweat pouring down my forehead, she went to put a hand on my shoulder, but I made a beeline to the bathroom. I vomited my lunch, and then when I composed myself. I started to sob over the bathroom sink. Grief is funny like that. It hits like waves... one minute you're fine, you're listening to his music, enjoying his memories, and then... you lose it all. There was a knock at the door, it was the waitress. The thought of her asking more stupid questions made me want to throw up again. I leaned against the bathroom wall.
I can't do this thing called... life.
Not without him.
But... I have a family to think about. Our children. I had to push through for them. I had to remain strong. I swallowed, my throat felt like it was on fire, I took a deep breath, and fiddled for my phone in my bag. My hands still shook as I struggled through my contacts. I stared at the name "A-hole" a pained smile spread across my face, Sonic must have gotten my phone and renamed Shadow's name to A-hole. He never did ask why his number was in my contacts. Shadow and I kind of formed a friendship, if you can call it that. He was honestly very comforting to me after Sonic passed away. Despite his demeaner.. I knew deep down he cared. My finger hovered over his name, hesitating. I could just call Vanilla, couldn't I? Or someone from the cafe, even. Even Rouge... something tugged at me to call him though. If he didn't answer. Fine. Rouge was next on my list. I meant to send him a text, but my hands still shook so bad so I just called him. Each time it rung, I felt tears start to stream my face again. I shouldn't talk to him. I don't think I can even talk. It rung several times more, and then there was a pause. "S-Shadow?" I managed to get out, in a shaky tone.
"...Rose?" He always called me that. I didn't mind, of course. I grew accustomed to it after so many year; I stopped correcting him. I breathed out in relief, and cried.
"Can you come get me?" I slowly make out these words.
"Where are you?"
"Diner... in town. " I couldn't even remember the name of this damn diner. I couldn't even recall the name of the street it was on. There was silence on his end, so I responded with a "please." Shadow didn't answer back, the phone call was dropped. My heart sunk. I'm not sure if he would actually come, or knew which diner I even meant. I slapped my forehead, and brought my knees to my chest. Normally the thought of being on the floor of a restroom disgusted me, but I didn't care. There was another knock, I believe it was the owner. He was concerned. "Ma'am? Are you alright?" I wanted to answer with no, but I remained silent. I blocked out their voices by covering my head with my hands, and continued to cry. I was feeling so many things right now that I couldn't keep track what they were. The phone ringing scared me to pieces. I jumped and saw Shadow's number show up. I blinked back the tears. He told me he had arrived. "I'm in the restroom..." I heard a commotion going on, and his voice to confirm he was at the right location. I pushed myself up, and wiped away more tears. I tried to wash my face, but my face still looked pale, and my eyes were bloodshot. I forced myself to open the door, outside stood the owner, and the waitress that served my table. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shadow walking towards my direction. He looked me over, his expression unreadable. I looked away, avoiding his gaze. "Can you take me home?" He didn't say anything, shrugged and angled his head toward the door. He lingered long enough for me to pass him out the door. The waitress gave Shadow a ticket, but said the bill was taken care of. Not that paying for my meal was a concern at the moment.
I was shocked that Shadow didn't ride his motorcycle. Sonic never did understand why he got one. He was "almost as fast as him" Sonic would clarify. Shadow walked alongside me the entire way to the end of the street. "Did you just leave work...?" He finally spoke. Oh, shit. I forgot. I paused when we reached a crosswalk. The light was still red, so we had to wait. I asked him to text Cream on my phone. He blinked in confusion, but seconds later he did as I requested. This was the longest walk to my house. He didn't ask any questions, but he kept glancing my way. I just kept glancing at the sky, after we left town. The sun was setting, and I always loved watching it. Sonic would always watch it with me outside on our porch. I gave a sigh. We reached the front door of my quiet home, I fiddled with my keys, and opened the door. I was disappointed that no one welcomed me. I dropped my belongings on the bar and hugged myself. Shadow just stood at the doorframe when I slowly made my way deeper in the kitchen. I took off my apron, and grabbed a bottle of water. I hovered over the sink feeling my eyes sting even more. Shadow slowly inched deeper in the house, closing the door behind him. "Are you okay?" I saw him kind of wince like he shouldn't have said that.
I took a sip of my water. "I... I will be." I say this as if I'm trying to convince myself more than Shadow. I wiped at my eyes, I slowly glanced over with a weak and forced smile. "You don't have to stay, Shadow.." I leaned against the counter. "Thank you." There was a silent acknowledgement from him. I didn't see him make his way to the living room.
"Where's the spawns?" I jumped back into reality, when he spoke after minutes of silence.
"You mean... children?" I raise a brow.
"Yes."
I needed to sit down, so slowly made my way into the living room with him, and laid down on the pillow that rested on our sectional couch. "They're on vacation with their grandparents, and Uncle Tails."
Shadow glanced over, looking me over again. "But, you stayed home to work?" I couldn't tell what he was getting at. So, I just looked at him. He shrugged.
"Rouge says you're the one who works too much." He stayed silent before he scoffed. Before long, nothing was spoken between us again. "Shadow." His ear twitched in attention, "please speak... this house is way too quiet nowadays.." I sunk deeper into the couch. Closing my eyes, trying not to cry again.
"You didn't tell me what happened at work." I felt him sit at the end of the couch.
"I... it didn't happen at work. Work was fine!" I dramatically responded, "I ate at that stupid diner... " I swallowed my words, "his favorite diner." His red gaze locked with mine for a moment. "Ate his favorite food. Damnit. I should be over him after two years. Shouldn't I?" I didn't really want him to answer that, or think he would. I finally sat up, and hugged a pillow close to my chest.
"You never do." He could see the confusion on my face, so he elaborates. Shadow glanced away, "you never get over their death." I probably look dumbfounded to him. "Do you think I don't miss Maria still?" It felt weird hearing him speak of her. He rarely did anymore. He had moved on, and continued to follow her wish and lived his own life. He face furrowed. "I never knew you could cuss."
This earned a smallest grin from me, "does that bother you?"
"Hell no."
"I didn't think so." I gave a sigh. "I just assumed I would feel better by now. I usually pick myself up pretty quickly." I glanced at the clock, and then back at Shadow. "I loved him so much. It's like a piece of me is gone..." I wipe at my eyes again. Here we go with the water works. "I hate this house now. It makes me think of him. Sometimes... I.." she swallowed, "when I see our children I break down." I grab a handful of tissues, "I hate how clean it is in here! I hate... life without him, Shadow. I really do." I finally stood up, and walked in the kitchen, trying to compose myself. But, feeling his gaze on me doesn't help. I silently sob at the kitchen sink.
My ears prick when I hear his footsteps. He's leaving me. He's gonna walk out and leave me alone in this quiet house, with just the sounds of my sobs. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around. I feel more tears sting, not in grief but relief that Shadow did not leave. I want to hug him. "I shouldn't be saying all this... you didn't even like him." I stubbornly respond, with a uncertain smile. "Heck, you probably hated him. You're... probably glad he's dead." I don't even know why those words escaped my lips. It even shocked Shadow. I immediately want to apologize. He's been so supportive this evening... and I'm being a bitch about it.
"...He was annoying, but I'm not glad he's dead." His eyes darted from me, to the floor. "Sonic gave me more chances than I deserved, Amy. Hell, I even tried to destroy -" Shadow pauses, I can tell he is so mad at himself for that mistake. "he didn't deserve to die the way he did." Shadow hesitated about going on. "You didn't deserve to watch him die, neither." Shadow paused again, unsure of what to say next. He always struggled with expressing his feelings. Just like the blue blur. Before I could control myself, I buried my face into his chest. No tears escaped, this time. I just wrapped my arms around him. A single tear fell down my cheek.
"You didn't deserve to watch Maria die, either." Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I know he doesn't like to think of that day. I don't understand all what happened. Maybe he didn't hear it. I sorta hoped. "I'm sorry." My voice shook, and I went to pull away but stopped when I felt his hand on my back. Like he was sort of accepting this embrace; if you can even call it that.
"Thank you." Shadow hadn't heard anyone say those words to him. They always blamed him, or his creator. It was nice to hear someone actually was concerned about all that he witnessed that terrible day, and how that would affect him. We both distanced ourselves. I hid my blush from his gaze. "You look exhausted." The heat in my cheeks went away. Ha, no kidding. "I should let you get some rest." My disappointment must have been noticeable, but his eyebrow raised slightly.
"Don't leave. Please." I must sound really bipolar. An hour ago, I was hoping he'd leave so I can cry myself to sleep. But now, I can't imagine being alone. Shadow looked awkward now. "Just for tonight... I can't be alone.. right now." My ears went flat.
"Okay." Was all the dark hedgehog said. It was enough to ease my concern. I gave him a thankful look, and then encouraged him to sleep in the spare bedroom. If he even sleeps. Sonic always said he didn't sleep. After getting my pajama's on, and my teeth brushed I come in the living room. I gave him the remote, "If you wanna watch tv... that's fine." I collected my sheets, and comforter and settled on the sectional. I wasn't sure if Shadow stayed in the living room, or hid in the bedroom. I did hear the television moments later, and then I was out like a light.
The next morning, I woke in my bed. I sat up quickly. Went to the bathroom, and washed my face trying to make sure I was actually awake. I went downstairs to find someone on my sectional. It was Shadow. He rolled to face me, and sat up. "You didn't look comfortable... so I took you upstairs." My mouth formed an O shape.
"I hadn't been able to sleep upstairs.." I muttered. Shadow didn't say another word. Like, he knew how it felt. "I... what time is it?" I couldn't recall whether I was gonna need to go to work or not.
"Just before noon."
"I'm surprised you stayed this late." He could hear the sound of gratefulness in my voice. "Uh... you want coffee? Because I need it."
"I fell asleep." Shadow shifted slightly, "Sure.."
"I didn't know you even slept." I laughed slightly, as I started gathering a coffee pod for us and pressed my preferred brewing setting.
"Sonic said that didn't he?"
"Yep."
"I don't require sleep like everyone else. I can go a whole week or more without it."
"How did Sonic know you didn't sleep?" I pestered the black hedgehog. "You two have a slumber party that I didn't know about?"
Shadow looked at me, disgusted. "No. We were on a lookout for Eggman. He noticed I hadn't slept."
"Code for slumber party." I whisper. Shadow gave me a stern look.
"I like this side of you, better."
I blinked. "What?"
"Your sarcasm." He raised a brow, and stood to his feet. Making his way over to the kitchen. I noticed he looked slightly shorter. He had removed his shoes. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Who says that was sarcasm? You two could have had a slumber party, and you just not admit-"
"Hush." Shadow surprised me when he covered my mouth with his hand. "I take it back. I like the cursing side of you." There was a small grin that I saw forming on his face.
"Fine. Asshole." I pushed his hand away, and muttered the insult under my breath.
I encouraged him to sit with me at the small table as we finished our coffee. It was odd having his company here. Of all my friends, I had chosen to call him last night. However, I realized his company was exactly what I needed.