1. If you can't take it into a bar, you can't touch it. People who ignore this are evil animals that should be eradicated from society.
2. If your friend says a word and claims it is a slur, look it up on Urban Dictionary. Do whatever you want with that knowledge. (And if that friend is known for snitching on everyone, you're better off burning that bridge unless they are snitching on illegal stuff. In that case, keep them really close).
3. Not every user on Wattpad is a kid! And adults on Wattpad are generally not pedophiles. (There's Hannah Alexander, Spinel2creek, and atheistbisexual but they are filthy oxygen wasters).
4. If you hate someone, don't be a child and hit them/send them slurs. Be an adult and write a murder mystery with the person you hate as the victim. Creative outlets are much healthier.
5. Always write separate fanfiction about the things you love. Making a separate account makes it difficult to keep track of you.
6. Ignore the creepy Tails doll in your room that is saying "sunshine" in a creepy way.
7. You just checked to see if there was a Tails Doll in your room, didn't you?
9. If it's free, it's for me. This motto will keep you out of trouble financially.
10. Are you seriously looking for #8? If so, I have something important to tell you: the word "idjut" is written on the ceiling.
11. You just checked, didn't you? That means that you're paying attention to your surroundings. Good on you.
12. You thought I was going to call you something rude just because you looked around, didn't you? Well, I may be an asshole, but I got standards.
13. Work smarter. If you can find shortcuts, use them.