Willow's POV
"Willow," His voice was low, "What have I ruined?"
My heart was about to explode. My mind was running a million miles a second. What had I just done? The scrutiny of his behavior left me searching for an escape.
Cyrus was demanding an answer. The alpha, my mate was demanding an answer. Failing to provide one fast enough may foil all of my plans. Thankfully, an answer popped into my head.
"My...My shoes," I claimed, "You're making them filthy."
He glanced down. Then up at me. Then down again. Then I glanced down at my beat up Converse sporting several holes in them, then back up at him. My toe stuck out of one of the holes. Our eyes met, his no longer black as he stared at me with a quizzical look.
I was nothing but a bold-faced liar. He could tell.
My cheeks flushed, as I had quite possibly picked out the worst answer. But the words had already left my mouth in a stuttering panic. The only thing I could do was own them, own the words like they were nothing but the truth. And I did, I straightened my flimsy spine and stared at my moody mate. Straight into his eyes.
"You left a hole in them."
That hole had been there for sometime now.
"I didn't do that." He deadpanned, his brows furrowed.
"Yes you did. I just bought them," The words left my lips in an exasperated gasp. Another lie. Those shoes were thrown at me years ago, in an attempt to showcase the charity of my old pack.
His mouth opened and a tired sigh left his mouth. Tension flooded through me. My tongue ran dry. I watched as he closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and looked at me.
"I am not entertaining this in front of my pack," The alpha said, "Get inside now."
It was an order.
My eyeball twitched. My shoulders stiffened further. I hated the sound of him ordering me around. Hated it even more in front of the pack. He was making me look like I was his property rather than his mate.
Even in my old pack, nobody had ever spoken to me like I was a child. And it angered me, it really did.
"You don't own me," I hissed, "And you don't ever tell me what to do."
Something fell over the pack, something sinister. I had defied their alpha right in front of them. And rumor had it that this alpha, my mate, was not someone to be crossed. He wasn't known for being patient or kind.
He was known for being ruthless. I knew he was ruthless and nothing short of malicious. Yet I spoke to him as if he wasn't a danger to me. Even though I knew how quickly he could become one.
My stupid, foolish words had pushed him too far.
His eyes went black before I could even blink.
A shiver raced down my spine, which I was struggling to keep straight. How could I maintain any composure? My mate looked as if he was crafted by the very depths of Hell. He was horrifying.
Cyrus was the kind of person that even nightmares were afraid of.
He stepped closer to me and I didn't move. My heart was racing and I wanted to move. I wanted to back up. I wanted to run. There was a split second where I could truly taste my bitter fear. But the legitimacy of my words would be questioned if I couldn't stand my ground. And I was not going to be known for being a coward. I couldn't be, not for a choice that I had so carelessly made.
We stood chest to chest. His presence enclosed me in a morbid hug, holding me captive. Cyrus's body shook against mine. My mate was quite literally shaking with rage. His pitch black eyes blazed with fury and his fists, though I refused to look down, I could sense them clenching.
What had I done? All self preservation and instinct disappeared from me, like it never existed. All I could do was pray that my choice to defy him wouldn't get me killed.
"Willow, I'm warning you. Get inside." His voice was firm and final, leaving absolutely no gap to test him.
Yet I did.
"No."
His body froze. My body froze. The world around us froze. I wanted to apologize but I just couldn't get the words out. The monster that was my pride, prevented me from doing so. There was a heat creeping up and down my spine, encouraging me to stand my ground. I was furious, I wanted his blood. My own anger had me in a chokehold, leaving a burning wake deep within my lungs. Why was I so furious?
Silence howled out amongst the forest, everything had gone still. So still. Even the birds had stopped chirping.
What had I gotten myself into?
"Challenging your alpha?" He questioned, "I should kill you for that."
He should. He could.
"Then do it."
The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them. They were a reaction, not a response. Everything that I was saying was bogus and insane and going to get me hurt. I was endangering myself and I couldn't understand why.
Every sentence I had spoken put me within inches of death.
But those words weren't me.
I would never be so careless, so fueled by anger and rebellion.
But my wolf would. She would. My wolf was talking and for some odd reason, I had allowed her. I couldn't allow her to speak through me, not anymore. She was going to get me killed.
My eyes burned and I wondered how much longer I had before my tears would splash over my eyelids. I truly, so desperately wanted to cry.
I closed my eyes tightly, forcing them to shut. I forced myself to breathe through the anger. If I could just calm myself down, then I could back down. I needed to back down. If I had any true hopes of running this pack, I'd have to be alive and well to do so.
Cyrus could kill me. Regardless of me being his mate or not, if he wanted to, he could wring my neck like a turkey and leave my body for the wolves. He'd be well within his rights.
This was still his pack,
And his rules were the absolute law.
I couldn't take the very thing he built, not if he slaughtered me like a pig.
The world was still silent by the time I opened my eyes again. Cyrus's eyes were dark as the midnight sky, his fists were still clenched by his sides. This was him showing restraint. This was him allowing me to keep my life. So I did.
I dropped my eyes from his immediately, humiliated that I had backed down but thankful that I did. I couldn't take his pack, not if I was dead. Leaving the scene left my face hot and flushed. I left him and his pack standing there.
They probably thought that I was nuts. Hell, I was nuts. I was bat-shit crazy and I had just proven it to everyone. Never had I ever done something like that—Something so thoughtless. I would've never challenged my previous alpha. Even though the alpha back at my old pack was weak and senile, and probably more useful dead than alive. I never dared to challenge him.
Yet I challenged Cyrus Drenner, at least partially. I challenged an alpha that possessed unmatched strength. It was a strength that I still couldn't grasp.
What an idiot I was. An absolute, brainless moron.
I made my way back into my designated bedroom and shut the door with the urge to slam it. But after careful consideration, I didn't. God forbid I damage anything inside of his mansion, then he'd really kill me.
Flopping down face first onto the deep mattress, I pressed deeper into the plush mattress. The smooth fabric felt like Heaven against my flushed skin and not even ten seconds later, my tears began to soak the comforter.
Hot and heavy tears of embarrassment and exhaustion spilled from my eyes. One tear after another, as control slipped from my grasp.
Why was I crying?
Was it because of the violent adrenaline high that I was coming off of? Was that it? Surely that could've been a reason for the tears. I hadn't realized how pumped full of adrenaline I was, not until every ounce of it left my body. With it went my entire pride.
"God, I'm pathetic," I spoke to myself. My own insult stung like a bee sting.
Pulling my tired body from the mattress, I stepped over to the bathroom to rid any evidence of the tears. My reflection made my blood boil, poisoning me with rage. I was Angered by my crying, but even angrier at my mate.
I hadn't had much experience with mates. I was never around my pack members enough to see the beauty of it, or lack there of. But I had formed this notion inside of my head that mates were this supernatural phenomenon, delivered straight from the Moon Goddess herself. I assumed it would be love-at-first-sight.
But everything I'd felt towards Cyrus, and everything he felt towards me, was bullshit. Disgusting, repulsive, bullshit.
It was hate. Pure, unbridled hatred. It festered inside of me.
I didn't feel any chemistry or anything good. And maybe that was my fault, maybe me trying to steal his pack had something to do with it. Maybe he could sense my ulterior motives and wasn't willing to trust me.
Maybe I was the root of the problem.
But how could I know any better? I didn't even know what love was.
Nobody had ever loved me.
And I'd never loved anybody.
The only thing I had ever felt was desire. And not the kind of desire that could morph into beautiful love, no—The kind of desire that made me want to rule the world and burn it down all at the same time. It was all I wanted because it was the only thing I knew.
How could I want love if love was nothing but a stranger to me?
I couldn't. I wouldn't.
I'd stick to my original plan and I'd become the strongest alpha the world would ever know. And then, only then would I feel the love of my pack.
Only then would I allow love to save me.