"Fucking finally, these days are only getting longer," Chuuya groaned, collapsing onto his couch as soon as he walked in. "You take the bed."
"Absolutely not," you scoffed, dragging him up. "It's your place, y'know? You have a right to be comfortable, I don't mind taking the couch."
"Are you sure?" Chuuya asked, hesitant.
"Don't make me pull out the commanding officer card, go sleep," you glared. "Besides, even Osamu's crashed here before, and I'm package sized in comparison to him."
Something that surprised you, was that Chuuya still had the same apartment from your mafia days, just slightly rennovated. You assumed that he would have moved out first chance he got, since Dazai knew where he lived and that.... got annoying at times, even when they were allies. But he didn't move out, and he still had two drawers stowed away of things both of you needed. He couldn't seem to get rid of either, for some reason, which ended up playing in your favour because now you had some of your old clothes at hand.
"Fine, I'll just be inside working if you need anything," Chuuya sighed, heading inside.
"I'll be up reading for a while," you said as you sat down, a case file in hand.
With that, the two of you went your seperate ways, with you poring over the file in search of clues on how to solve the situation. Nothing helped, in fact, any information you got only made your head spin even more. You don't know when you drifted off to sleep, but you were smart enough to realise that it wasn't a peaceful one.
You rushed to the bathroom, feeling the bile rising up your throat. Things started getting blurry. You were kneeling on the floor, hanging over the toilet bowl as you threw up, tears streaking your cheeks.
"If there's a brat inside you I'm sending you to Boss to get that checked out," Chuuya yawned, setting a box by your side.
Normally you would have said something in response, no matter how tired or mad at him you were. When you stayed silent, however, and didn't even acknowledge his presence, Chuuya got worried.
"Hey," he called, squatting down next to you.
The first thing to get you out of your zoned out state, was the familiar scent of vanilla. You let out a shaky breath, squeezing your eyes shut as the air burned in your lungs.
"I'm fine," you muttered out, trying to stand up.
Key word: trying to.
Annoyingly, your legs gave out almost instantly, causing you to sit back down. Chuuya pursed his lips and stood up, grabbing your toothbrush before kneeling back down next to you. He helped you brush your teeth, trying not to bother you too much, since you still seemed extremely shaken. You randomly choked back tears, squeezing your hands tight whenever that would happen.
"Should I get someone?" Chuuya offered.
"No," you shook your head, leaning into him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"I think I'd prefer that over opening this place in the morning only to find you passed out on the floor," Chuuya mumbled, squeezing your shoulder.
You were far too exhausted to even reply to that, only sinking further into the crook of his neck, letting the scent of vanilla envelope you in a comforting embrace. Chuuya could feel hot tears dripping onto his neck, which only worried him further.
"What happened?" Chuuya gently pressed. "I've never seen you like this, it'd be terrifying if it weren't for the fact that I've seen you enraged before."
That itself got a weak laugh out of you, and you pulled away to take in the way Chuuya looked. Three years since you'd seen him like this, and still, nothing had changed. He still wore the same loose shirt to bed, with what looked like basketball shorts, probably the same clothes he'd had since you met him as teenagers. His hair was a mess from his pillow, flying all over the place, a few strands framing his exposed collar.
"Bad dream," you sighed, leaning against the wall of the bathroom. "I guess it's the worry kicking in, who knows. I can't remember any of it, and I hope that's for the better."
Chuuya stayed silent, merely helping you up in favour of saying anything.
"On the brat side, there isn't a parasite growing inside of me," you shrugged, voice still hoarse.
"You dodged a bullet there," Chuuya agreed, nudging you into the bed. "I'll be out if you need something, try not to die again."
"You're acting like we haven't shared a bed before," you yawned, tugging on his wrist.
Annoyingly, the nightmare had taken all your energy out of you, causing the exhaustion to kick in. While you would probably regret this in the morning, the current you was too tired to even figure out issue at hand.
"Fine," Chuuya choked out, gingerly getting under the blanket.
"Good," you hummed, latching onto him instantly.
Chuuya had a tendency of staying up late, often due to paranoia of nighttime crime. Ever since Verlaine had killed his friends six years ago, he'd been extremely on edge. It was a reasonable response, of course, since he didn't want anything to happen to his other friends, if he could even call Dazai or you that at the time. Still, tonight, he fell asleep faster than ever, one arm wrapped loosely around you and pulling you onto his chest.
When he woke up the next morning to the sound of his blaring alarm, the first thing he noticed was the lack of your presence, leaving the bed colder than he would have liked to admit. He regretfully got up, peeling the blanket off himself as he made his way to the bathroom, only to get distracted by the smell of soup.
"What the hell are you doing woman?" Chuuya yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Oh, you're awake," you smiled, turning to face him. "Just making breakfast, it's the least I could do."
"I usually just cut fruit, how long have you even been awake?" Chuuya gaped.
"Half an hour now, slept longer than usual," you shrugged. "And you seemed exhausted as shit, so I didn't bother waking you."
Chuuya turned to look at the clock.
It read 06:10, which wasn't surprising considering Chuuya tended to sleep late and wake up late. But that meant that you'd been up since 05:30, and in the four years where you were part of the mafia, you'd never willingly gotten up early. In fact, the one time he'd been sent by Mori to fetch you, you nearly slapped him for bothering you in the morning.
"Did I grow a pair of wings like the angel I am?" You asked, not bothering to look up from the stove. "Stop staring, I can feel your eyes on me."
"Sorry," Chuuya mumbled sheepishly. "Since when do you get up early?"
"Since I started working during the day rather than at absurd hours in the night," you responded. "Not like I'm getting any sleep at night, what with Osamu being around."
You realised what that sounded like far too late, Chuuya's laughter ringing in your ears as you desperately tried to defend yourself. Still, you couldn't help but laugh along, the irony being far too funny for you.
"So that's what you're up to nowadays, huh?" Chuuya smirked.
"One more time and you'll be cutting an apple for yourself."
"Sure, sure," he snorted, leaving the room to go brush his teeth and get ready.
You found yourself smiling even after he'd left the room, freezing instantly upon realisation. Sighing, you returned to your blank stare. After all, if anyone found out how precious Chuuya was to you, he wouldn't walk out of this war alive. Him, Kouyou, Akutagawa and Gin... if any of them were to leave the battlefield unscathed, you would be eternally grateful. You set down two bowls, still deep in thought. Just then, Chuuya returned wearing his work clothes, taking a seat opposite you.
"We get information on your friends today," Chuuya began, curious as to what your reaction would be.
"As long as they're all alive, it'll be fine," you breathed out, a hopeful smile gracing your face.
One of the types of love people rarely talk about, is the love that remains after the person who you held that love for no longer does.
The three years that you and Chuuya spent apart, you never stopped loving him. While it was mostly memories of the stupid things you would do when you had the time, or the various drinks you'd made the other chug upon reccommendation, it was still real once upon a time. The closest feeling to describe it was nostalgia, when you felt old memories resurfacing whenever something reminded you of your Port Mafia days.
But this was all real, it wasn't just a memory anymore.
The love that once was could turn into the love that could be, should you allow yourself to become vulnerable with the four of them once more.
As long as it didn't turn into the love that could have been.
A/N: this is basically a 25th (official) chapter special bc I needed some fluff before we approach the territory called ch. 88, ch. 101 and ch. 109. I refuse to get into that without mentally preparing beforehand
anyways next up we've got yosano's backstory + some angst bw these two maybe
also we'll get to see how/why dazai and mc actually ended up together eventually for sure, maybe next chapter already idk