I felt someone's hand on my face as I slowly came awake, brushing away my hair and tucking it behind my ear. I leaned into the hand, the warmth feeling so good, the calluses somewhat familiar. A small sound of satisfaction may have even escaped my lips which was returned by a quiet, deep, and very familiar laugh.
My eyes snapped open.
I swatted away Noah's hand and shot upright. Disoriented, I frantically looked around, realizing after a moment that I was at home, on the couch in the living room. In the dim light coming in from the moon, I could make out the blue striped upholstery and the matching throw pillows.
"Hey beautiful," Noah spoke up from beside me as he flipped on the light.
Squinting against the brightness of the lamp, I saw he was sitting right next to me, my legs draped over his and covered with a blanket. His long legs were casually crossed in front of him on the ottoman, his shoes were off and so were his socks. I frowned as I struggled to remember if I always thought his feet were sexy or if was that a recent development? He'd changed from the hoodie he had on earlier, now in a suit and dark grey shirt. His suit jacket was off and slung over the armchair next to us. My frown deepened as he watched me study him. Damn him for looking so good just sitting there.
Speaking of looking good, I know I did not. When I got home I immediately changed out into a pair of Riley's old soccer shorts and a ratty t-shirt. Beth had escorted me upstairs to help me change and put me to bed, knowing rest was the best thing at that moment. I had insisted on coming back downstairs with her, arguing that I was fine and didn't need any rest. And then I promptly passed out on the couch.
"You're in my house."
"Yes, I am."
"Why the fuck are you in my house?"
Noah laughed again. He was breathtaking when smiling. Something I would never forget. "God, your mouth. I've missed that." His laugh faded as he gazed at me. I didn't realize how much I missed having him look at me like that. The tension between us was thick, so many memories were being drugged up by him simply sitting there with me and I could tell he was feeling it too.
I clutched the blanket tighter to me just as he reached out to grab my hand. I couldn't pull it away in time.
His fingers intertwined with my own and he sighed. "We still fit together."
"Noah-"
He felt me tense to pull away and grasped my hand even tighter. "Just give it a second."
I decided to let him win this round. Neither of us said anything for a long time. We just sat, holding hands, his thumb lazily tracing circles on the back of my knuckles. Exactly like he did when he took my hand before.
"What were you dreaming about?" His hazel eyes were a little sad as he looked at me from under his lashes.
"Nothing. I don't know." I couldn't honestly recall if I had been dreaming or not.
"It must have been about me because you said my name. You sighed it, actually. Sounded sexy."
Fuck it all to hell.
"Apparently you still talk in your sleep." His lips quirked, not quite a smile. Under my glare, he kept it from forming.
I jerked my hand from his and started to get off the couch. One of us needed to leave this room and judging by how comfortable he looked, it wasn't going to be him. As soon as my feet hit the floor, it started to tilt and I had no option but to let him steady me before I fell on my face. Noah gently pulled me back against him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I couldn't even fight, feeling so weak all of a sudden and things continued to spin. He tucked me into his side and it was so comfortable to be in his arms again. My body was betraying me and relaxed into his embrace. He sighed.
"When was the last time you ate?"
"I don't remember." It was the honest answer. Time had moved so erratically for me the past few days, keeping track of my meals was the last thing I had been doing. I vaguely remembered Aunt Cathy's revolting oatmeal cookies I tried choking down the other day but maybe I ended up spitting them out. Beth would know.
"Where's Beth?" I asked.
"She went home to grab some more clothes. She'll be back to stay the night."
I snorted. "You expect me to believe she left me here with you alone?"
"She insisted I stay. Which, given our history, I thought was a little weird. Any reason she thinks you need a bodyguard?"
Stephen must have called again. Had he found me? I'd have to talk to Beth about it when she came back. His harmless stalking was becoming worrisome and with everything going on, I really didn't have the mental stability not to murder him if I ever saw his face again.
I ignored his question and asked one of my own, growing irritated with him. "Why exactly are you here?"
"I was worried about you so I came by to make sure you were okay. Beth was on her way out when I showed up."
"Well, I'm fine so you can go now."
"You're not fine, Reg –" he stopped himself from saying my nickname. "Regan."
My full name sounded so strange coming from him, that I actually jerked a little bit at the sound of it. It felt wrong. Forced.
I pulled myself out from under his arm, needing some distance between us. "You don't get to just show up and tell me whether or not I'm fine. Please leave."
"I think I should stay until Beth gets back, at least." He began to get up. "What do you want to eat?"
"I'm not hungry, Noah. Don't worry about it."
"I didn't ask if you were hungry, I asked what you want to eat. And don't tell me not to worry about you."
Frowning at him frowning at me, I tucked my legs under me and curled into the corner of the couch. "There used to be some grapes in the fridge, not sure if they're still good."
"I'll be right back."
"I've heard that before," I muttered. He paused ever so slightly as he walked away so I knew he heard me. I wasn't sorry.
He wasn't lying this time. He was back with a bowl of grapes and a glass of water before I had finished sending a text to Beth, cursing her for leaving me with Noah. As he sat back on the couch with me, she sent back a colorful response detailing how if we started now, we could probably get in a quickie before she got back to the house.
"Beth?" Noah asked, handing me the grapes, and stealing a few for himself.
"Just making sure I was okay. And threatening to serve your balls to her cats as playthings if you try anything."
He threw a few grapes into his mouth, staying silent.
I sighed when I bit into a grape, realizing at that second how starved I was. My eyes slid closed as I kept eating them, moaning a little bit as their sweetness filled my mouth. Too late I realized that Noah watching me devour the fruit, practically suffering from a foodgasm right in front of him. He swallowed thickly and ran a hand down his face.
"They're really good," I mumbled, avoiding looking at him.
"Orgasmic apparently."
I couldn't stop the blush that heated my cheeks. He handed me the glass of water, our fingers brushing and sending a tingle through my body that I recognized after all these years.
"Thank you for staying with me." I took a sip of water, thankful it was so cold. It would be more useful if I poured it over my head for a cool down.
"Nowhere else I want to be."
What I had meant was that I was glad he had stayed with me so I wouldn't be alone in the house but his response came so quickly and sincerely that I couldn't explain further. His hazel eyes were intense as they held my green ones, so many things each of us had to say yet neither one of us was able to form the words. Something was happening here. The longer he held my gaze, the hotter I felt, the harder my heart pounded and my desire for him threatened to take me over completely.
For a while, neither of us moved until he brought his hand up to my face, his knuckles skimming over my jawline and then my cheekbone before he tucked my hair behind my ear. His palm was warm against my cheek as he settled his hand to cradle my head.
He paused, a flash of doubt interrupting the intensity of his stare and I placed a hand on his chest to feel his own heartbeat. It was thundering beneath my palm. He wetted his full lower lip with his tongue and I wanted so much to take that lip between my teeth and nibble on it.
My eyes closed as he leaned in, his warm breath on my face, my lips parted in anticipation of what would come next. I gasped at the slightest brush of his mouth against mine, stunned by the jolt that whipped through my body at the brief touch.
"I was dreaming of our first kiss," I blurted out.
He canted his head, thinking for a moment, his face still so close to mine. That muscle in his jaw ticked again. My tongue ached to lick it. "We were in the kitchen?"
I nodded and he stood suddenly, pulling me up with him. He led me into the kitchen and over to the sink, turning so my back was against the counter. "You were standing here."
All I could do was nod again.
His eyes were locked on mine. "You had on your red string bikini."
"Yes." When did my voice get so breathy?
"I loved that bikini. So sexy." He put one hand on either side of me, caging me in just like he had that day. "I can't tell you how many times I dreamed about untying those strings with my teeth. The perfect fantasy for a teenage boy."
He leaned down, brushing his nose along my jaw, placing soft kisses there. Even as I felt the warmth coming from him, I shivered and arched into him, wanting to feel his body against mine. He laughed quietly near my ear and pressed closer. "I can still remember how you moaned when I kissed you. How soft your skin felt under my hands."
"Yes!" I was practically panting and writhing against him.
"I wonder," he whispered as his hand started to pull up the edge of my shirt. "Do you still feel as soft?"
"Noah!" I gasped when I felt his hand on my waist, so hot against my skin it was like a brand.
His lips came crashing down over my own and I cried out against him. This was not like our first kiss, sweet and innocent. This was urgent and frantic, a decade in the making. Hot and needy and desperate, I clung to him as his tongue enticed my lips apart. He slanted his mouth to delve deeper into mine and groaned as I grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. It wasn't close enough! He was making me lose my mind from this kiss. My heart was thudding, my skin was on fire from needing his touch and all my mind could focus on was that no matter how hard he kissed me or how close he held me, it would never, ever sake this lust I had for him. As if he was thinking the same thing, his hands gripped my waist, lifted, and turned, setting me on the kitchen island. He pressed his hips between my legs, his erection rubbing against me and causing me to moan, low and husky into his kiss.
A quick thrust and my thoughts evaporated, knowing only pleasure as he moved against me. Noah tore his mouth away from mine to run his lips along my throat and I threw my head back to give him whatever access he needed. God, his tongue was torture on my hyper-sensitive flesh. It was so hot, so wicked as he kissed along my jaw and down to the hollow at the base of my neck. He jerked the neck of my t-shirt aside, ripping it, his lips trailing across the tops of my breasts.
My hands began unbuttoning his shirt, desperate to feel his skin. In my rush, I tore one of the buttons out and he laughed against my shoulder as he nipped it with his teeth. Shoving the material out of the way, I pressed my palms to his shoulders, hard and powerful as he held me, the cords of muscle rippling beneath my hands as he adjusted his grip on me. How I wished I hadn't bitten my nails so low so I could dig into him even more and leave my marks on him. Instead, my fingers clutched to his powerful shoulders as firmly as they could, drawing a deep groan from him. As I pressed kisses to his chest where I'd uncovered his delicious skin, his thumbs stroked my stomach, inch by inch moving upward, a maddeningly slow pace, and finally his fingers grazed over my ribcage to the underside of my breasts. I arched into him even more, my nipples hard and aching against the material of my bra. He gave a low growl and tore the shirt down the middle, impatient to get it out of the way.
"God, Regan, I've missed you so much." I couldn't answer as he took my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged before covering my mouth again. My legs tightened around him, meeting his thrusting hips, the friction sending waves through my body that told me if we continued, I was going to come. And at that moment, I wanted nothing more.
"More, I need more!"
"More?" His erection pressed harder into my center and I cried out, my knees gripping him to cradle him there. He was so hard and hot and moving just the right way, I wouldn't doubt if he could feel how wet I was through our clothes.
"I'm so close, Noah. Please don't stop! Don't stop!"
"You're going to come for me, Regan, and you're going to shout my name when you do."
"Yes!" I cried out, writhing against him. "Please, I need it!"
Adjusting his hips, he drove his shaft right against my clit and I practically screamed it was so intense. The light material of my shorts wasn't much of a barrier between us, and neither were his pants. A few more moves like that and I was trembling, biting my lip in anticipation, his big body driving me insane.
"God, you're beautiful," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Ride me. Make yourself feel good."
I was utterly lost in the sensations as I moved against him. My pleasure rose and tightened within me, pushing me so close to release. Noah's jaw was clenched tightly as my hips moved faster and faster, sweat sheening on his forehead. He might be just as close to coming as I was. The thought of it excited me even more. Closing my eyes, my hands pushed through his hair, holding him close while he panted against me neck.
"Honey, I'm home!"
Beth's exclamation completely broke me from the hazy spell of lust. I tried to push away from Noah but she had already walked into the kitchen, stopping in the doorway, shocked at what she was seeing. Noah rested his forehead against mine and smirked before casually tilting his head to look at her, his hands still grasping my waist, holding me to him. My hands pulled together the ripped neck of my t-shirt and he finally took a step back in order to allow me to hop off the counter. He uttered a quiet curse as my body slid against his and I quickly stepped around him, trying to figure out what to say to Beth.
She had already begun backing out of the kitchen and into the living room, her expression frozen in a weird half-smile. I followed after her.
"Beth, wait."
Noah's fingers wrapped around my wrist, stopping my exit and forcing me to turn back to him. "We aren't finished."
Was he serious?
"Talking," he clarified, an amused twitch to his lips. "We aren't finished talking."
"I think we're done." I pulled my t-shirt tighter around myself. "And I think you should leave."
What had I been thinking? I fought to keep my lip from quivering from the sudden onslaught of very confusing feelings. He studied me for a moment, his lips red and a little swollen, hair a disheveled mess, shirt gaping where I carelessly yanked it open minutes before. My fists clenched as I held myself back from reaching out to feel his smooth, hot skin under my palms.
No! All of this is wrong!
My face must have given away what I was thinking because his grasp on my wrist tightened slightly. "Reggie," he started.
I pulled my arm from his grip. "I said stop calling me that!"
He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, no problem. Just tell me what's wrong."
"You, Noah," I applied pressure on my temples with my index fingers, the headache returning. "I need you to leave."
"Like hell. You don't get to go all cold on me after that."
"This is wrong, Noah! I just buried my brother!"
"Don't use him as an excuse because you don't want to like what we just did." He angrily tried to fix his shirt.
"Leave," I ordered.
"I don't think that's what you really want."
Hysterical laughter came bubbling up from somewhere inside me and Noah took a step back, startled at the sound. I sounded like a maniac and couldn't help it.
"What I want?" I laughed at him. "I want Riley back. I want my life back. My normal, boring Noah-less life."
Noah took a few deep breaths before answering, his voice low and full of anger. "I want him back, too, Regan, but none of that is going to happen."
"But you can't get him back so you're going to settle for me, is that it?" I was shouting. I was crying again. Yep, definitely losing my mind.
He glared at me and grabbed my arms, yanking me to him. I made a 'puh' sound as he forced the breath from me. "I'm not settling for anything," he snapped. "I would have come back for you even if he was still here!"
"Bullshit," I struggled in his grasp. "You managed to stay away for 10 years!"
"I was coming back for you, goddammit!"
"And you just assumed I wanted you to come back!"
His eyes narrowed and he pulled me even tighter to him. I was all too aware of how my breasts were crushed against his chest, my heaving breaths driving them harder into him. "Not five minutes ago, you seemed perfectly happy having me here, squirming against me, begging me to get you off."
My face flushed and I glared at him. "Yeah, and you were all too quick to practically come in your pants like a 15-year-old because of it."
"And I fucking loved it," he growled at me.
"This is all too much. It's too much," I shook my head, letting the tears fall. He instantly released me, all his hardness gone and my body immediately wanted it back.
He watched me for a moment before making his decision. "I'll leave."
Noah strode into the living room and grabbed his belongings from the recliner next to the couch. Beth was standing in at the opposite end of the room, near the front entryway as if she had been trying to decide whether she should stay or go. He shouldered by her on his way out the door, not even bothering to put his shoes on.
She gaped at him as he passed then turned to me with an evil grin on her face.
"Did he just call me a cockblocker?"