You could never understand why Chuuya would punch you once you were dismissed from the infirmary after being admitted for a stupid injury. If you'd told seventeen year old you, that you would be doing the same five years later, you would have laughed.
Yet here you were, Dazai clutching his face as he stood in shock opposite you.
"Sorry," you breathed out, pinching the bridge of your nose. "But this entire thing could have been solved much faster if you'd just worn a bullet proof vest."
Dazai nodded mutely, walking past you.
The silent treatment.
Few people pointed it out, but most knew that the two of you always acted younger than you were around each other. Part of it was because you knew each other that well, but really, it was mostly due to your severe utter lack of a childhood. The two of you, and Chuuya, were the only ones who managed to share a brief glimpse of what normalcy might have been like.
When Dazai ignored your worries, it hurt to say that you weren't surprised.
After all, it was common sense that a scared child would naturally run away from whatever triggered the response. It had happened multiple times over the years that you'd known each other, times where your arguments had gotten so heated that the only logical response at the time was to run away.
The Demon Prodigy was someone who ran away from conflict.
It sounded almost laughable.
"I brought the two, they're in the van," you mumbled, well aware that he could hear you. "Just... whatever you do, don't bring up your history with Ryuu. He's nervous enough as is."
He didn't nod, didn't bother to show you a sign of acknowledgement, let alone gratitude. You rolled your eyes and joined him in the van, where both Atsushi and Akutagawa were restrained by your ability.
"Alright, both of you. Behave," you sighed, snapping your fingers and releasing them.
Dazai sat down on the chair between the two, holding both of them apart from each other.
"Let me go, Dazai-San!" Atsushi thrashed.
"No can do~" Dazai trilled, tightening his grip on Atsushi's head. "If I do, you two will start fighting with your skills, no?"
"B-but-!" Atsushi attempted, trying to release himself from Dazai's grasp.
"Could you not go running wild?" Dazai requested. "You'll open up my stomach wound."
"But why is Akutagawa involved in a plan that has our president's life at risk...?!" Atsushi demanded.
"Because it's my plan," Dazai hummed. "I'll have the two of you infiltrate enemy base."
"Huh?!"
"The enemy's base is inside a coal mine. It's a few hundred kilometers long, and most likely loaded with anti-intruder sensor traps," you explained. "Your primary target is the Virus Skill User. You must neutralize him, otherwise our leaders are dead. Your secondary target is Dostoyevsky. Questions?"
"If it's that important, then this teamup matters even more!" Atsushi insisted. "For starters, Akutagawa's animosity towards me isn't your typical hatred. C'mon, L/N-San, can't you see there's no way this will-"
"So he says," Dazai hummed, turning to Akutagawa. "What do you think?"
"I will carry out the task given," Akutagawa droned, his eyes glinting with sheer focus and ambition.
"It's been four years since you were last under my direct command, hm?" Dazai reminded, smirking as you restrained yourself from throwing yet another punch at him. Dazai Osamu, the man who ran away from conflict, but couldn't resist in starting it."Can you show me that you're at least a bit more capable now?"
"Yes."
"Akutagawa?" Atsushi sputtered in disbelief. "You are Akutagawa, right?"
"Yes."
"You're willing to fight in tandem with me?"
"Yes."
"What did you have for dinner last night?"
"Yes."
Atsushi could only stare in shock, turning to you with pleading eyes, hoping you had some leverage in this situation.
"We're here," Kunikida announced from the driver's seat.
Dazai leaned over, still holding onto Atsushi, explaining the strategics that they had to consider. Akutagawa knew of this already, from his years of experience in combat, so you were left with him for the time being.
"Don't do anything stupid," you finally requested, looking over at him. "And don't go fighting Atsushi now, Ryuu."
Akutagawa looked like he wanted to say something, but wisely chose to remain instead.
"Understood," he mumbled, getting up and dusting himself off. "Mantiger. Two things to keep in mind - fall behind and I will cast you aside, get in my way and I will kill you."
"Why do I even bother," you muttered to yourself.
Akutagawa hopped away, slicing a hole into the ground with the use of Rashomon, before jumping in.
"Oh, he left you behind!" Dazai teased.
"Ah!" Atsushi yelped, running after him. "I'll see you later!"
"But Atsushi-" Kunikida began, but you silenced him.
Atsushi lunged in past all the sensors and guards, surprising the blonde.
"The tiger's acceleration," Kunikida realised. "But when did Atsushi learn how to do that?"
"Well, we can hardly afford to lose out," Dazai hummed. "Shall we begin?"
You handed Kunikida and Dazai a com, one which would be connected to Katai and the rest of the Agency if needed. Shortly after, Kunikida dropped you in an alleyway as you'd requested, and immediately drove off. They would drive to Fitzgerald's company, just in case Dazai needed to use the Eyes of God to find the Conjurer. Meanwhile, your heels clicked on the concrete, the sound echoing until you came to a stop.
"The Boss guessed you would come here," a voice hummed. "So, you'll be the one commanding our unit, then?"
"Tachihara," you greeted. "I was hoping to see Hirotsu-San, but I suppose this will do."
"Wha-"
"Alright, no time to waste! Let's head in, I need to know which of the assault squads we'll be using," you interuppted, walking ahead.
Tachihara sputtered, but jogged behind you to catch up, before slowing down to match your pace again.
"Why would the Boss trust a traitor?" He asked, utterly confused.
You simply ignored him as you walked right into the headquarters, pushing past people to get to the conference room where you were to meet Kouyou, Mori, and hopefully the rest of the Black Lizard. Tachihara waited outside, guarding the room so that all of you could converse in peace.
"Ah, L/N-kun," Mori greeted. "Is this your way of atoning for stealing my only other executive?"
"I'm sorry, out of the five spaces only two are accounted for?" You gaped. "And they're both filled in by gingers?!"
"Feisty as ever, hm?" Mori hummed. "But the way we run things isn't of your concern anymore. Do fill us in on the strategy Dazai-kun has come up with?"
"As we speak, a former detective member is hacking into the database of the Rats in the House of Dead to steal information," you began. "O- Dazai's on the line with the hacker, and he's got one more open for him to speak to Atsushi and Akutagawa. The rest of the Agency is stationed around the area, they're all looking for Dostoyevsky, who'll likely come out in the chaos."
"What makes you think you'll know it when he does leave?" Mori challenged.
"Mori-San, have you ever played chess against Dazai?" You smirked.
"So this is like dealing with a second Dazai, I see."
'Akutagawa-kun's been infected, be prepared to get the personell ready.'
"Got it," you nodded, tuning the com off again. "Atsushi and Akutagawa are tailing the Virus Skill User, and Akutagawa's been infected."
"But these two are the new era of Soukouku, created by Dazai, are they not?" Mori hummed.
"Mori-San, I don't think any generation of Soukouku will manage to get along," you sighed. "If these two are anything like Dazai and Chuuya, then yes they're powerful, but until then they'll make their rivalry everyone else's problem."
'L/N-San, get the boss and the crew, we're closing in!'
"We'll be there," you reassured. "Mori-San, we should get going."
"Well then, let's head out," Mori decided. "The two of us can talk about you returning to the mafia on the way."
"I'd prefer driving in silence," you politely declined, hoping he wouldn't press the matter.
"Very well," he shrugged, calling his chauffeur.
'I'm going after him, Katai and Fitzgerald are with me,' Dazai informed.
"Alright, don't die," you instructed.
The drive wasn't long, with the two of you meeting up with Fukuzawa and the rest of the Agency minutes before you were to receive Dazai's signal. Supposedly, the Skill User was disguised as a civilian, likely with a hat. When Tanizaki pinpointed the runaway, him and Kenji had immediately surrounded him, only for it to end up being a regular civilian. Dazai left the scene, already bothering Fitzgerald to help out.
"Well done, L/N," Fukuzawa nodded, glad that you'd assembled the mafia troops.
"Well then, Fukuzawa-Dono, I believe I know where the Skill User will escape from," Mori smiled, already leading the way.
"Are you sure, Mori-Dono?" Fukuzawa checked, skeptical.
"Is that a challenge?" Mori smirked.
Fukuzawa glared, but stay silent nonetheless. A few seconds after you'd reached the exit to the cave, a stocky man came jogging out, panting as he keeled over. But his exhaustion was immediately extinguished when he saw the two leaders eagerly waiting for him.
"See, I told you, did I not?" Mori smiled.
"It was too simple of an escape route," Fukuzawa scoffed. "Compared to the illusory Dostoyvesky, this was child's play to predict."
"N-no way..!" The man gaped.
"Now," Kunikida glared, stepping forward. "Thanks to you, we've all been subjected to mortal peril. Can you defend yourself?"
"P-please forgive me!" He begged. "I'll undo the virus, I'll turn myself in! So please..."
"Hmm, I have no problem with that," Mori nodded.
"Likewise," Fukuzawa agreed. "We ought to forgive."
"Did you truly think we would?" Both of them snarled, going in for a punch.
It was easy to knock the pathetic man down, for he had little to no knowledge in self-defense. Even someone as easy to predict as Atsushi could have managed to knock him out, let alone two trained killers.
"Dostoyevsky isn't there?" Kunikida gaped, listening in on the com.
"Of course he isn't," you frowned, turning to face him. "Osamu told us this over the coms."
"The idiot probably forgot to switch to general instead of private," Kunikida scoffed rolling his eyes. "Very well, let's clear up then."
After that entire ordeal, the cleanup didn't take too long, considering you only had to arrest two people. Both Atsushi's and Akutagawa's wounds were cleaned up by Yosano, who also gave them a thourough checkup to ensure the virus was out of their system. Once you'd finished, Dazai met up with you as well, explaining the entire side of his story on his interaction with Fyodor.
"This all calls for a party, don't you think?" Dazai beamed, to which all of you agreed to.
He led you to the Port, where a nice ship was docked. Fitzgerald had supposedly gifted this for the Agency, which you could use the entire night. Once you'd realised it was an extremely expensive venue, all of you changed into formal clothing before making your way there. Dazai and you accidentally ended up matching tie and dress colours, something he wouldn't shut up about the entire walk there.
But at least he was talking to you again.
"Hey," Dazai called, grabbing your wrist before you stepped in. "Didn't mean to get you mad."
"I wasn't mad, Osamu, I was worried," you sighed. "There's a difference. Yes, I was mad because you didn't wear a bulletproof vest, but if that sniper had a slightly better aim, you could have died. Look, just think twice before doing something stupid next time."
He pursed his lips but agreed nonetheless, before getting both of you drinks. You ran into Ranpo on your way to the buffet, who explained everything that happened in the novel and how Chuuya would likely fight his way out instead of bothering to solve the mystery.
"Man I need a long nap after this," you sighed. "At least things'll go back to normal, yeah? Or have you super deduced something?"
"I've only super deduced that I need food," Ranpo grinned, adjusting his glasses.
You couldn't help but laugh along, joining the Agency in its usual stupid shenanigans. It wasn't too long before you headed out to grab some fresh air, where you found Atsushi staring off.
"How was teaming up with Ryuu, kiddo?" You asked, standing next to him.
"Messy," Atsushi sighed. "Say, L/N-San, why is it that you care about him so much? He barely mentions you, since the only thing on his mind is making Dazai-San proud of him."
You took a deep breath, tempted to light a cigarette.
"Osamu in the mafia was not the most pleasant person to be around," you began. "I suppose that really only showed when he would train Ryuu. That kid must've found out we were together or something-"
"You were?" Atsushi sputtered.
"See that nice watch he's wearing?" You hummed. "I still have my counterpart for it, he got it forever ago after a friend pushed him to. It isn't something I would look back at now and call love, we were both too unstable for that, but I suppose it's the closest thing I had."
"So that's why you're so close," Atsushi realised.
"Anyways, Ryuu would glare at me as if I knew something, which I obviously didn't," you continued. "Chuuya, the fancy hat guy Ranpo duelled, he ended up telling me everything later. Of course, it wasn't that Osamu didn't talk highly of Ryuu - he did, always going on about how powerful and how much potential the kid has. I suppose it's just that he never told Ryuu to his face. Of course, by the time Chuuya and I tried, it was too late."
"And that habit only worsened after Dazai-San left, huh?" Atsushi sighed.
"Yep, he was devastated," you nodded. "He would lay down his life for Chuuya and me if it would save us, but he'd give up all his values if there was a notion that Osamu would be proud of him."
"I asked him not to kill for six months, Dazai-San seemed.... almost happy about that," Atsushi muttered, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Akutagawa is a man of his word, I would say it's one of his best features," you smiled.
"Still, his need to make Osamu proud will cost him his life one of these days."
A/N: End of s3 and still no chuuya action-
bear with me I finally have an idea on how to get them together
(I say this after nearly changing this to a Dazai x reader)
then again I'm convinced that the venn diagram of Dazai kinnies and Dazai haters is a circle.
(#projecting)
is this like,,, my first A/N in a while? yes. I'm simply antisocial in this book bc it isn't pretty angsty YET
oh well