I'm real sorry, but there's not much going on in this chapter. But I've been through the things that I felt were needed for it, and I just wanted to get this bit out.
In the next couple chapters, however, we will be returning to the fluff and the smut and the lovey dovey. But also, prepare yourselves - for alas, the story is headed towards the end.
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It felt like it took years to sign all the discharge papers for the hospital. And then there was the whole deal of making appointments with the trauma psychologist. We were nearly by the exit when a tall woman with dark braided hair came walking towards us, ehr face steely and calm.
Allen stopped and put his hand on the small on my back, waiting as the woman approached. Her eyes shifted between us as a calm smile appeared on her face. "Alpha Allen, hello again. And hello, Paige. I'm very pleased to meet you, and even more relived to know that you've returned back to your mate, safe and sound as you ought."
Allen smiled down at me, gesturing to the woman before us. "This is Alpha Siksikawa. She provided people who helped to locate you."
"Oh, uh, pleased to meet you."
She grinned, handing me a bouquet of flowers that I hadn't even noticed 'til now. "Likewise, Paige. I actually came to visit you, now that I'd gotten word that you were awake. But seems you're in a hurry to get out?"
I smiled. "I just want to go home to relax."
"Ah, totally understandable. However, I was wondering if I might be allowed to borrow your mate for a little while?"
I bit the inside of my cheek, my stomach feeling a little heavy. I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Allen barely glanced at me, before he asked Alpha Siksikawa, "Can it wait, perhaps? So we could talk about this over the phone."
She sighed. "I'm sorry, Alpha Allen, but I really need it to be now. It won't be long, I promise. Perhaps, Paige, you could just go wait in your car? Then you can be right out of here as soon as we're done speaking." She smiled at me softly.
I felt the smile and color draining from my face. "No, I... I'll just wait here." I looked at Allen. "It's okay, really. You guys talk. Just don't go too far, right?"
Allen's eyebrows furrowed with concern, and he gave my hand a quick squeeze, before gesturing to some chair behind me. "Have a sit. I'll be back in a bit, kay?"
I went and took a seat at the chairs in the waiting room, those benches that just have armrests to separate the seats, watching as Allen and Alpha Siksikawa withdrew to a corner in the front hall. My eyes only lingered on them for a moment, before they began moving all over. The doors, where people were coming and going. Hospital staff walking around in scrubs and white coats. Unease swirled in my stomach, and I wrapped my arms around myself.
My eyes continued shifting between Allen and the exit door. I licked my lip, trying my best to take a deep breath. A man with blonde hair and a beard, just like Alpha Charles, walked in through the doors.
My entire body tightened. His face was different from Alpha Charles's. Very different. I breathed deeply in through my nose, exhaling slowly through my mouth. My fingernails dug into my jeans.
The man was looking at his phone as he walked closer and closer to me. My toes and fingers curled as hard as they could, my hands shaking in my lap.
It was like slow motion when I watched him take a seat in the spot on the bench right next to me, his eyes still on his phone. My breath was quivering, my body hyper-aware of his presence right next to me. But he sat entirely still. I'm not even sure he'd even noticed that I was there.
For a moment, I let myself breathe, easing my own heart rate. He was just a stranger. It wasn't Alpha Charles. This was just a man who was here to get a checkup or pick someone up or maybe even meet into work. He hadn't hurt me, and it's completely irrational for me to even thin-
He sat a little lower into the chair, scooting his bottom forward and spreading out his legs, so his knee touched my thigh.
I flew out of my chair, backing out of it. He barely looked up from his phone, and raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh, sorry. Didn't see ya."
I felt the tears pressed on, my whole body shaking. I looked around, trying to find Allen. Through my tears, the world became a blurry mess. A hand appeared on my shoulder, making me whirl around. A nurse with a goatee was looking at me with deep concern in his eyes, and he was touching me. "Are you alright, Miss?"
"I... I..." I breathed hard, looking around for Allen.
The nurse stepped closer to me. "Miss, I think you should sit down." He reached for me, and I winced out of his touch. The tears were rolling down my cheeks, and I was alone, and Allen wasn't here, and there was someone who was trying to touch me.
A familiar embrace wrapped around me, pulling me close. "Shh, love, I'm here." he said, his left arm wrapping around me. He looked at the nurse. "No need to worry, I've got her." He looked back at me. "Shall we get home?"
I nodded through my tears. His hand squeezed my side, and he gently led me out of the hospital front hall, onto the parkinglot. Ahen the fresh air hit my face, I lifted my face up, inhaling as deeply as possible, trying to calm myself down.
"I'm sorry, Love." he said. I just shook my head, letting him lead me through the snow-slush covered parkinglot and towards the car. He held the door open for me as I got in, and then was at my side in the driver's seat in a flash.
We drove in silence, and snow gently to fall slowly on the windshield as we drove, which made Allen turn on the wipers. I heard him tapping his foot against the rubber mat at his feet, before asking into the air, without looking at me; "May I ask what happened? What... startled you?"
I cleared my throat. "By 'startled' do you mean what caused me to have a panic attack in the middle of a quiet hospital lobby, emberassing the both of us?"
He glanced at me for a moment before retuning his attention to the road where it belonged. "I'm not embarrassed, my love. I'm worried."
I sighed. "He... the man sat next to me in the chair. His knee touched me. I don't know what happened, I just... it felt like..." I bit my lip.
"I know, my love. Or, I can guess." He took a deep breath. "Would..." he trailed off.
"What?"
He met my eyes briefly before returning his attention back to the road. "Would you rather that I don't touch you? Does it... create some negative connotations?"
"No, I... It's different when it's you." I fiddled with a little thread that was loose on the warm sweater Allen had given me for the trip home this morning. "You're familiar, and... you only do things to make me feel good. You always consider what you do and ask my permission."
"So you don't need me setting up a room for you to be on your own in the cabin?" His question was soft.
I inhaled a quick breath. "I think it will be a very, very, very long time before I'll be able to relax enough to sleep if you're not in the room with me."
"Okay." He moved his hand over and laid it on top of mine.
***
He parked in the garage attached to the house. My hand was on the car door handle for a couple of seconds, and I just couldn't move. Allen's hand, still on mine, squeezed. "You okay?"
"How many people are in the house?" I asked softly. I'd asked for no visitors during my stay at the hospital after the incident. The thought of having to recount the events, to assure a million times that I was alright (or, well, as alright as someone who'd been in my situation could be), having to concern myself with easing their worries instead of just being able to take care of myself.
"Just your mother. Your mothers parents, your aunt, uncle and cousins are christmas shopping, and your father and his parents are out for lunch, per my request. Your mother made it clear that it was extremely important for her to be there and talk to you. She also asked that you speak alone, but I wouldn't promise her that. Not without asking you." He met my eyes. "So, is it okay? I could walk you in and go then visit my brother while the two of you talk."
I nodded. "Yeah. It's okay. But could we say that you'll be back in 2 hours? Tops?"
He looked at the clock in the car. "I'll be back at 2.14 PM exactly. C'mon."
Allen kissed my forehead once, quickly, before he headed out the door, leaving me in the living room with my mom. She was standing a couple of feet away from me, her eyes filled with worry.
My voice was weak. "Hi mom."
"Oh Paigy, my baby," she took half a step back and then stopped. Her eyes met mine. "I, uh, can I...?" She held her hands out towards me.
I ran into her arms, holding onto her as tightly as possible. I didn't know that I was sobbing and crying until she was shushing me gently and guiding me to the couch. I was curled up like a baby, halfway in her lap and with my head on her shoulder.
She petted my air, rocking us gently from side to side, shushing me and holding me close. I gasped and dry-sobbed against her, finally looking up at her. Tears were trailing down her cheeks, but she didn't say anything, other than, "I'm so, so sorry, my baby. I'm sorry, sweetheart." She hugged me close again.
"I've never..." my lips quivered. "I thought I was gonna die. I thought he, all of them, were going to do the most awful things to me and then kill me."
She took a deep breath. "I know. Me too, I thought... I was so terrified that we'd never see you again. I'm so sorry, Paige. I'm sorry..."
I sat up a little. "Mom, it's not yo-"
"No Paige. I'm not saying it's my fault. It could never be. It's not Allen's fault either. Or yours. It's no one's fault but one, and that person, thankfully, is dead. I'm not saying sorry out of guilt, or pity. I'm saying it because I wish this had never happened, because you didn't deserve it. No one does." She kissed my forehead.
I sat up properly, getting off her lap. "I can still feel him touching me." I whispered, the tips of my fingers brushing down the side of my breast where I could feel his ghost touch still on me. My hand landed in my lap.
She laid her right hand on top of mine. "I know, sweetheart. And I'm sorry to tell you but... it might very well never go away." She put her left hand on my shoulder and hugged me from the side. "But you need to know that I will always be right here. Your father, too, although he can't quite relate the same way I can. Sweetheart, I know... remember, what it's like to be violated. To have someone, a man, treat your body like it's some shell for them to use for what they want, like you're not a person. I know. And you can always, always talk to me about it. Even if it means calling me at 3am." She kissed the top of my head.
"Thanks, mom. Really. I just... I don't know. I need... time, maybe. And to just be able to process what happened."
"I understand. But like I said, you father and I are here for you. Together."
I looked at her. "Together?"
She took a deep breath. "As together as two people who have a child together and who've been married 20 years can be, when they're getting a divorce."
It felt like a slap in the face. "Oh."
She sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I'm not gonna spill the emotional details on you, but while you were gone... when we weren't talking about you and being worried, we were talking about us. And we decided that we love each other, for all the years we were together, for having and raising you, but we're not in love anymore. So in the new year, we'll be getting a divorce. Your father is hoping to get an apartment a little closer to your pops and nana, and I'm hoping to stay with your aunt for a bit. Help them out with the little one - I think he's got some issues - and reconnect with her."
"Okay, that's... yeah. Okay." I took exhaled slowly.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have told you."
I shook my head. "No, no, I appreciate that you did. And it's alright, really. I knew this was probably where it was going. But it's still a little hard to hear it out loud. But I don't feel like being upset about that now. I have plenty of other things to be upset about. To think about."
She took a deep breath and nodded. "Of course, of course. C'mere, sweetheart, let your mom hold you for a bit." She opened her arms, and I happily crawled in, nestling close to her. She hugged me close, petted my hair, kissed the top of my head.
With her one free hand, she put something on the TV to fill out the background. We didn't say anything.
We sat like that for a long time, until my phone rang. I was pulled out of the half-sleep I'd drifted into, and jerked up.
My mother released me from her grasp, letting me sit up properly and reach for my phone in my backpocket. My heart clenched with nervousness when I saw Allen's name on the screen. Had something happened? Was everything okay?
I pressed the green button the same instant, waiting for the connection to go through. It was silent for a moment, making my voice become dry.
A gentle, raspy voice said in the phone. "Is the world's greatest sister in law on the other line?"
I jumped up from my seat. "Austin!"
He laughed softly. "Hey Paige. Thanks for saving me."
A sob of relief left me. "You're welcome, Austin. So very welcome."
I heard him laugh again, still carefully. He sounded tired. Then Allen's voice was on the phone. "My return home might be delayed a while. The doctors are still checking him, and I want to talk to him for a little while."
"Of course, of course... is he okay?" My voice became more quiet at the end of the sentence.
Allen sighed. "He's speaking fine, memory appears alright, but..."
"But?"
"He could barely hold the phone when he spoke to you," he was whispering. "The nurses think that the part of his brain that controls motor skills might have been impacted."
I put my hand to my mouth. "Oh, god..."
"Well, well, let's not paint the devil on the wall. We'll wait, and see what the doctors say. But I promise, promise, that I'll be back by 5, if not before then. But 5 at the absolute latest, and then I'll tell you everything that you need to know. Alright?" His voice was gentle. Worried. As if any part of him thought I'd demand him home now that his brother had only just woken up.
I exhaled a breath. "Alright."
"I love you more than anything. And... within the hour there'll be some women around the house, in black puffers. They'll knock thrice on the door to announce themselves. They're security personnel, there keep you safe and give you a sense of security. Again; I love you so, so much."
"Okay, thanks, for the security. I love you too, so so so so much. Say hi to Austin and the rest of your family from me. Give them all a hug, okay?"
"I will. I love you."
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A/N
I'm really enjoying life in my apartment, and school is starting on Monday.
Oh, and the Trump mugshot is the funniest thing ever- fun fact; I call Trump 'Tump' - derived from the word 'tumpe', which means idiot or fool in my language.
It's about damn time. I've seen all the Jurassic Park movies 3 times each, I've seen the entire SPOP series, SU, and now I just got started on my rewatch of Queen Charlotte.
I love yas, and I will see you in the next chapter <3