"And cut," Peter, the Director, says loudly and then looks at me, because one of the three most important scenes in the movie is being filmed. He doesn't look happy at all. Even though Henry and Sophie have this almost magical chemistry on screen, something feels off. Sighing I lean back in my chair, cross my arms in front of my body and pucker my lips trying to figure out what is wrong with it.
The first day I was on set, I thought it would be easy and fun, but quickly the reality of this demanding and tough business caught up to me. Long hours, retake after retake of a scene until Peter was content with it. He was hard on the actors and pushed them to their limits.
I had worked closely with him before the production began to give him insight into how I saw the scenes in my head when I wrote them. Even now, every night we talk about the scenes that were shot that day and the scenes that are scheduled for the next day.
It hasn't been three weeks since production started, and I am already exhausted. In the morning only the excitement of going back to set, gets me out of bed. At night, I fall into bed, but take my time to connect with my fans, by answering their questions about how filming is going and about my latest book which again is on the New York Times bestseller list.
My book was published the day that production started. Since then, I have seen couple of crew members with it walking around and even a few of them came up to me and asked me questions about it, which I was very happy to answer without revealing what will take place in the second book.
With the publication of my book, my real name as well as my appearance was also announced to the world. I have gained millions of new followers and people started to ask about Henry's and my relationship, since they figured out, that I was the woman on the pictures that were posted.
He never asked me to clarify our relationship to the public, but I wanted to set the record straight, because even though he told me, that the woman he likes would understand it, I didn't want my fans to think that we are a couple. I did a live video on Instagram and nibbed all the rumors in the bud by explaining that we are just close friends, and I am looking forward to the opportunity to work close with him as he is very good at what he does and that I couldn't have wished for a better person to portray Kilian.
Henry's and my fans still have pretty mixed emotions about the pictures that were posted about us. Some are sad, that we aren't a couple, because they think that he deserves someone in his life to be happy with. Others are glad, that he is still single and that they might have the opportunity to catch his eye.
Thinking of sleep, I take my coffee cup and take a sip from my very strong coffee, because it is already past my usual bedtime. I tilt my head to the side and try to think back to when I wrote the scene, which had been on my mind for weeks on end before.
"What do you think?", Peter asks me, and I sigh. It is the first scene in the book where you get a glimpse of how much Kilian cares for Alveria.
"It needs to be more intimate and repulsive at the same time. When I wrote that scene, I already knew, that they are supposed to be soulmates. The fact that he already loves her, even though they only have met a handful of times, needs to transpire in this scene. To him she is this fragile thing, that could literally destroy him. But Alveria hates what he stands for. She loathes him for what he is capable of doing to keep the balance in their world, but at the same time she feels the pull toward him." Peter looks at me puzzled.
"I know I'm an author and it should be easy to explain what I mean, but would you mind if I just show it to you, if you, Henry and Sofia don't mind?" I ask him, and he nods his head in surprise.
Peter has asked me several times in the last three weeks if I could show them exactly what I meant in a scene, but I had always refused. Because neither am I an actress, nor do I want to interfere with his version. So far, there hasn't been a single scene where I could have thought that it didn't correspond to what I had in mind when I wrote the book.
"Please go ahead. Everyone else take soft five." While I get up from my chair and put the blanket that has kept be surprisingly warm in this rather chilly night, over the backrest, most of the crew members leave as they are happy to have a small break.
"Alveria just tried to fight off the rogue Lycans that tried to attack her and in the process of it had killed her own guard. Someone she already considered her friend. She is torn between the guilt of killing him, but not the Lycans and surviving, because Kilian saved her in the end not knowing that she is the one laying helplessly on the floor of the forest. Until that point, she had thought that she would be someone good. Light, airy and protecting the people in her kingdom," I tell them while I walk over to Henry and Sofia and stop next to him. Both of them nod their heads, because they have read my books and the script and are aware of the whole story.
"Even though she hates what she has become, because she thinks that she is now the villain, she hesitantly accepts Kilian's help because she is afraid of her own powers. She finds herself now repulsive too. Kilian tries to show her, that she always had that kind of magic in her and that it is neither good nor bad. At the same time, he takes the opportunity to be close to her and touch her and tries to seduce her a tiny bit," I continue and look at Henry, because I know that acting that scene out with him to show them what I meant, will be awkward. I am glad, that there aren't many people watching us right now.
"Would you mind stepping behind me and putting your right hand somewhere between my waist and my hip?", I ask Henry and he does it. My back is pressed against his chest, and I can feel his warm breath on my neck. Goosebumps spread over my body, and I suddenly don't know why his touch affects me like that. This hasn't happened before.
In the past three weeks we tried to spend time together, but that was rarely, because I was mostly on set or brainstormed with Peter. And it isn't my place to tell him that I miss spending time with him as he probably wants to spend it with the woman he likes, who I still haven't met.
But when we both had some spare time on our hands, we went on a run or just lounged in one of our trailers. We touched each other on the shoulder or on the back, nudged each other's shoulders, but it has never made me feel like right now.
I clear my throat to put my weird feelings aside and be my professional self again. But the warmth of his hand on my hip and his smell don't make it easy at all.
"By being empathetic with his words yet assertive with his touch, he tries to show her that she can control her magic."
"Something like this?" Henry asks me, and I can feel him moving his left hand around my body and then lifting it up while he holds me firmly in place with his right hand. Every time he takes a breath, I can feel his torso expand and pressing into my back. His warm breath on my skin makes me shiver and I close my eyes for a second.
"Oh, I like that. I like that a lot," Peter says, and I open my eyes again. Hesitantly Henry lets go of me and I somehow miss his touch.
"Can you try that again and this time, don't raise your arm around her, but between her ribcage and arm? And maybe slide your hand from her hip toward her lower belly," Peter continues, and I want to step away, but he stops me. "No Charlotte, you need to tell us, if that's what you had in mind."
Almost bewildered I look at the director and then at Sofia. She tries to hide her grin behind her pressed together lips. I notice the crew coming back from their five-minute break and when they see me standing there, they look intrigued. I guess that Henry and I are spending time together off set, makes some of them think that we are more than just friends.
"Come on guys, we don't have all night," Peter tells us and claps into his hands. I can feel Henry stepping behind me and we are in the same position as a few moments before.
"You need to relax. You are stiff as board," he whispers into my ear, and I take a deep breath trying to calm down. I fight the urge to press my lips together, when he presses his chest against my back and puts his right hand onto my waist and his left onto my shoulder. Okay, that's new. My heart starts to race in my chest. My skin starts to prickle where he touches me.
Antagonizing slowly, he moves his left hand over my upper arm and then between it and my torso. His fingers slightly touch my boob and I inhale sharply. His face is next to mine on the right side. His cheek touching the side of my head. With his right hand he wanders from my waist to my lower abdomen and presses my body more against his. Although I don't want to, I instinctively put my hand on top of his.
This time I can't fight the urge to press my lips together, because the feelings that I have right now, have been slumbering for a while now. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I am really turned on by it. Maybe it is because I haven't had really good sex in the past year. Maybe I just miss someone's touch. Maybe it is because I am currently acting out this scene.
"Charlotte, what do you think?" Peter asks me, and I don't really know what to say, because Henry and I are still standing with our bodies pressed together. I try to shift my weight from one leg onto the other, but it is difficult in the position I am in.
"Yeah," I start and clear my throat before I can continue, "I think that that will work perfectly." I remove my hand from on top of Henry's.
"Are you okay?" he asks me lowly and I nod my head.
"I'm fine," I tell him, and I can feel him remove his hand around me slowly. Goosebumps spread all over my body again and he notices it.
"You might want to get another blanked and a hot tea. You seem cold."
"Yeah, maybe I should," I say and then walk back to my chair and wrap the blanket around me, even though I am far off being cold. My skin feels like it is burning wherever he touched me. I try to concentrate on the scene, but my body and mind has other ideas.
I don't know why but I get a bit jealous when Henry puts his arms around and on Sofia's body. Without even wanting it, I tense my jaw and ball my hands underneath the blanket to fists. What is wrong with me? Why do I suddenly feel like this? Henry and I are just friends. He likes another woman. Even if there wouldn't be someone else, I don't think I could make him happy.
Taking a deep breath, I push all the feelings that have surfaced away. He and I are just friends. I don't feel anything else for him, I try to talk myself into it.
When the scene is finally done and Peter calls it a night, Henry walks over to me.
"Is everything fine?" he asks me worriedly as he stops in front of me and looks at the fabric that I have gathered between my fingers.
"Yeah. I am just really tired and can't wait to get back to my trailer and sleep." I see that he relaxes a little bit and I draw my eyebrows together in confusion.
"You look exhausted. Maybe you should sleep in tomorrow."
"Henry, I am fine. What made you think that I am not okay?"
"I touched your body in ways that I thought I would never do and that it might have made you very uncomfortable. You got all stiff, so I got worried."
"Oh that. It's all good, Henry. We are friends," I tell him and force a smile on my face. He presses his lips together and squints his eyes as if he doesn't really believe me or is not happy about my statement.
"Okay. Let me know if I ever do something thatmakes you uncomfortable," he says and then needs to leave as he gets calledinto costumes to get out of his.