Chapter 4-II
I only have two class left.
Malapit na na namang mag-uwian, and I've already ran out of ideas where should I go to pass time. My club materials couldn't be used and my best friend has a full-sched till evening. So I walk into my class and I march to farthest corner of the room because the rest of the seat were occupied.
Major class-------pero gusto kaming bigyan ng refresher sa art fundamentals.
Pakapagsok ng professor ay nagsimula siya agad na enthusiastic mag-explain ng dapat naming gawin, limited lang ang medium na pwede naming gamitan kahit maraming pagpipillian sa harap namin. Graphite pencil at charcoal lang pwede----kung gusto ng iba bahala sila sa tinta.
Our professor raised her hand." Do I have any volunteer to be the model?"
They can't choose."Oh, pipili lang naman, sino daw?"
They're started discussing who would act as model in front of the class, so we could sketch them. Uupo lang naman pero nagkakahiyaan ang iba at ang mga ginusto magvolunteer ay inaasar ng klase o tinatanggihan ni prof.
I feel as if their criticism are for me...
Tinapik ako bigla sa balikat ng professor, she adjusted her glasses." What's your name again, dear? Full name. Ikaw na lang ang maupo sa harap dahil matangkad kumpara sa ibang girls, and don't waste that pretty face."
"It doesn't need to be me." I spoke clearly.
"Aarte pa." Malakas na komento ng iba.
The professor scolded them immediately, then turn back to me. Matatagalan lang kami lalo kung tatanggi pa ako. When I said my name. it seems to register recognition from her." I'm S-Sheena Clio Cervantes."
Her lips pursed." The muse of history."
Pinapuwesto niya ako sa isang matangkad na stool para kita ako ng lahat, at inalalyan kung paano ako dapat umayos. Konting yuko ko lang ay pinagsasabihan niya ako. My classmates also remained playful." Ma'am! Pakihintay na muna daw si Nabi para siya na lang magmodel! Bakit yan pa daw!"
Sinuko siya ng tumatawa niyang katabi." Baliw! Uwing-uwi o absent yun!"
"Class, focus! It's just a sketch pero, konting lang ang oras." The professor reminded sternly and stood by side, lifting my chin. Sana hindi ako mukang galit at umaaktong nagbingi-bingian sa mga naririnig kong pasaring at insulto." I want to know your raw skills first, all before what kind of ideas and inspiration comes into your head. Draw what's in front of you."
Bumulong ako sa kanya." You want to see how they view the world.
She stepped away, and let the whole class see me. Ilan sa kanila ay patuloy pa rin sa pag-iingay at pagbabato ng insulto sakin, habang iba naman ay parang nasa sarili na nilang mundo kung saan ang dapat lang nila isipin ay gumuhit. I wish I'm just overthinking that they are after me----I don't want to be here in front, I want to draw too and stop my chaotic mind.
Yet about after half an hour, may naghahagis sakin ng pintura.
Sigurado akong pintura yun, hindi tubig dahil madikit at malapot ang pagkakapit nun sa balat ko. Yet unlike earlier none of them open their mouths to attack me, nobody laugh, they just stared as if they were crush by a heavy burden.
"...I'll remember your face."
"You know how disgusting you are, how dare look at us as if we're the one who did you wrong?!" Kaso walang balak magpaawat ang babae, kahit pinipigilan na siya ng mga lalake kaklase namin. " Why is none of the adults listening to us?! This bi----freak deserved to be treated like this."
Pumagitna ang professor namin." Miss, that's not anyway to treat your classmate!"
Muling iwinasiwas ng babae ang mga paint tube papunt sakin, looking at me devilishly." Bakit siya ang kinakampihan niyo? Why should we be the rest of us punish but she's not? Magbait-baitan lang siya okay na! Pero pag kami ano?Tingnan niya na lang kung paano niya ka---------------------"
"I thought I'm just an outcast." Pinusan akong tumutulong pintura sa mukha ko." I thought nothing I ever do means something to you."
Natuahan na lang ako ng hinarap ako ng professor namin. Her last words quieter" E-Even you,Miss Cervantes. This is enough, wag mo na siyang patulan.... And let that go..."
It just a dull pallet knife.
So this is what I end up grabbing, I can't hurt anyone with it even if my thoughts consume me. Yung supply box pala ang narinig kong tumilapon, napabuntong hininga na lang ako. Nandidiri ako sa nagagawang katangahan ng galit. I step back and grab my bag.
I'm tired of having nowhere to go.