Chapter song: R.I.P 2 my youth- The Neighbourhood
1 month after momos passing
don't leave me, please don't leave, momo please come back. I woke up gasping for air in a cold sweat tears streaming down my face. That nightmare again. Me walking in on momo being choked to death, trying to save her as she laughs in my face slowly dying and i can't save her. Guilt ran over me everyday since then. If only i went home straight after school, i could have saved her or even talked her down from it. It's my fault she went through with it. I should have been there for her, i failed her as a sister, i failed her as a best friend, i failed as a daughter.
I laid in the hospital bed sobbing all night. Today i was being released. After i passed out they discovered i have CAD (Coronary artery disease). The doctor told my parents that i might not make it. Good i thought, i'll get to be with momo again. I know it was selfish to think like that but thinking that gave me comfort, to the point where i kinda of prayed i would die from it. Just to be with momo again. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, they started putting me through treatments. i'd rather die i thought as i watched the nurse hook me up for my treatments.
"Last treatment before you leave, are you excited to get out of here it's been a month" she giggled.
I stared at her with dead eyes. Why does she get to be so happy. I'm here slowly dying and she's asking me if i'm excited. I verbally scoff and stare out the window. She sighs and leaves the room quietly.
My life has completely changed in the last month. My bestfriend, my soulmate was ripped from my hands, i have a heart condition where i could potentially die. My mother picked up drinking and my father doesn't come home anymore, when he does he smells of another woman's perfume. Mother knows she's not stupid, she chooses to stay with him for my sake which is worse then just divorcing. She ran to alcohol and my father ran to cheating.
the next day
We arrived home, mother went straight to the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of wine. I slowly walked up the stairs, not wanting to face momos room. Her room was right next to mine, walking past with tears falling from my eyes i entered my room. Nothing changed, i sat on my bed crying. Looking at my desk there was a note.
Minari it read. I jumped up and grabbed the note, momo was the only one who called me Minari. We both had cute nicknames for each other mine was Minari and hers was maur maur. I knew the note was from her.
I slowly opened it reading:
To my bestfriend and soulmate,
Hey kiddo i miss you, i'm sorry for leaving you so soon. I couldn't bring myself to look you in the eyes i knew if i did i wouldn't be able to go through with this. I've been suffering for a long time, mentally. I've had depression since i was little it was a battle but when you were born you made everything better. Taking you in my arms as a 9 year old I loved you so much i told everyone you were my daughter and pushed you around in the stroller. i giggled with tears falling down my face. i know you're giggling right now cause i am too :) but mina it was my time. I felt like i needed to be freed from this war in my head, freed from the pain. I know i'm going to miss you so much, miss your cooking, miss your smile, the way you say EH? when you're confused, miss looking at you, you came out so beautiful with 3 moles on your face, your penguin walk. God you look so much like a penguin. Loser :) But you grew up well, i'm so proud of you! I want you to know NONE of this was your fault, it was my own, my damaged brain. I'm at peace with my decision and i hope you guys can move on from this in a healthy way. But don't forget me or i'll be pissed and haunt all of you guys i swear. Take care of mom and dad for me will you? I love you forever Minari
-love maur maur, I LOVE YOOUUUU <3 <3
I love you was the last thing i said to momo, I'm glad she knew before she passed. Crying i balled myself up under my covers until i fell asleep. Still having the same nightmare for a month now.
Present Day
Knocking on the deans door i slowly entered. He was on the phone, putting a finger up signaling me to hold on a second. I sat down winching a little from the burning sensation on my rib cage. I recently got a tattoo, "I love you forever Minari - Love Maur Maur, I LOVE YOOUUU <3 <3" in momos handwritting. It was the last thing she said to me before passing. I loved it, since i got it i couldn't stop staring at it and crying.
"Myoui Mina" the dean snapped me out my trance.
"Yes" i cleared my throat
"I have to ask you for a favor"
"okay" i said dryly
"i have a student that needs to be tutored-"
"no" i said gathering my things getting ready to leave
"MINA" he yelled "sit down now and do not be disrespectful towards your elder it's korean etiquette for god sakes, how dare you"
"i'm Japanese" i smiled sarcastically staring to walk out.
"THATS A ORDER" he yelled
i turned around rolling my eyes i sat down.
"Now i WAS going to ask you if you would tutor her but now i'm telling you, you are going to tutor her" he huffed fixing his blazer. "you will be paid" he added
"i don't need money, my parents are rich"
"Myoui Mina you are doing this wether you like it or not" he said handing me a file
"Her name is Son Cheayoung, she is a year younger then you and struggling with calculus"
i stared at him blankly. There was a knock on the door "COME IN"
A short girl with black hair walked in, she bowed to the dean and turned to me bowing. Our eyes met, damn she's pretty i thought while still making eye contact. Looking at her closer she was effortlessly beautiful, she had a wolf cut, her dimples showed when she smiled, the little beauty mark under her lip. She smelled like strawberries, her lips plump and pink. She wore loose black jeans with rips, big chunky boots, she had a black graphic tee with white writing and a pair of black sunglasses on her head. Her hands were long and slender, veins popping out with a ring on every other finger, tattoos all over her arm and hand. sexy i thought.
"excuse me" she said clearing her throat staring at me.
"what" i said confused
"you said sexy" she said smirking
a shocked look came over my face as it turned a bright rose red. I bowed and didn't say anything the rest of the time.
We exchanged numbers agreeing to meet tomorrow morning to start since it was the weekend there was no classes.
I quietly walked out heading to my car.
"Damn nice car" a voice behind me said
"thanks" i said opening the door throwing my backpack in the back seat.
"no wonder you go to SNU (Seoul National University), you're smart,pretty AND rich" she laughed.
I gave her a straight face and entered my car, pushing the button to start it.
"WAIT" she yelled before i drove off "you think i can get a rid" she blushed in embarrassment "i missed the bus"
A/N: Hola 👋🏽 okay first i want to address some thing's about the chapter so you understand better:)
1.) Mina has CAD which can be deadly if not treated properly, CAD is a real heart disease, i wanted to make mina similar to me and have similar struggles, while i don't have CAD i do have Pericarditis which is fluid around the heart caused from a illness, while i am doing amazing now i still have a weak heart making it hard to do daily activities, sometimes i have a irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath which is really scary, so i want mina to go through a similar situation
2.) Momos suicide note, i wrote her note through my eyes, if i was in her situation that's what i would write to my sister, towards the end i kind of wanted it to sound freeing or happy, because at the time of momo writing the note she felt free, free from her depression and mind, she finally felt happy and at peace so i wanted to get that emotion in writing, i hope it worked out good 👍🏽
Thank you for reading, i appreciate you:)