Here's a small chapter, hope you like it. Love you 🖤
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Part 48: Morals
The next morning, Anya rolls out of bed. She hasn't slept so well in weeks, and the very vivid dream of Kyun cuddling her was definitely the cherry on top. She even swears she can still smell his scent of peaches and ebony on her oversized sleeping shirt.
As she walks into the bathroom to wash herself and brush her teeth, her eyes fall on the bathtub. Nothing reminds of the conversation they had in here last night but still it's as if it still lingers in the walls, whispering those words she was finally able to say right back at her. Even now, after a good, long sleep, Anya still has no regrets about confessing to Kyun.
It was necessary.
A necessary move for the demon to know why Anya acted the way she did and how she will act in the future. With this deal, he became a part of her, just like she became a part of him. And as much as Anya has to deal with his nature, he also has to deal with and adjust to her feelings.
Yawing, she walks into the living room, shuffling her feet on the ground, turns on the TV with a lazy movement to have the background noise she needs desperately when Kyun isn't there to shut down her own thoughts, and tosses the remote on the couch.
As she takes yogurt out of the fridge and pours some into a bowl, she can't help but wonder where Kyun is. It's late, almost 11 AM. Usually, he's already taken a shower and come to her by now. She sincerely hopes he doesn't plan to make himself scarce after her confession.
He promised not to.
But he also said to never trust a demon, so his actions are always unpredictable. It's like—
"...Henry Wilkerson." At the sound of his name coming out of the TV, Anya jerks her head to the side. "The twenty-nine-year-old was found dead in Elysian Park near Dodgers Stadium. Now, please be advised that the details of this case might be disturbing to sensitive viewers. At this time, the police are unable to identify a culprit. Wilkerson was stabbed multiple times, which could be a sign of a human attacker, but what puzzles the police is that his heart was ripped out in a way we usually only see wild animals do, which is also contradictory, 'cause usually animals maul the rest of the body as well," the morning-show lady on the TV reports. Anya feels her stomach turning, the yoghurt searching it's way up again. "The financial advisor was under investigation for embezzling huge amounts of money from his clients so there are many suspects in this case. One of the victim's clients, who reportedly threatened him just a day prior to his death in front of several eyewitnesses, was arrested this morning. We will continue to monitor this investigation as it develops..."
With a trembling body, Anya stares at the TV. It takes her what feels like an eternity to process what she just saw. The moment it hits her, she drops the spoon on the counter, and a loud whimper escapes her throat.
"Changkyun!"
"Ah!" the demon sighs, happily not even a second after Anya called him. "Nothing is more beautiful than your shrieking first thing in the morning!" He grins down at her but this grin instantly vanishes as his eyes fall on hers. Wide-eyed, he takes a step closer. "What's wrong, babygirl?"
Again she has this feeling in her chest, a feeling of suffocating. Every breath she takes requires more effort than usual as she maintains eye contact with the demon.
"What the fuck did you do?"
Kyun tilts his head. "What do you mean?"
"Henry!"
The demon sighs and looks around the room. "Wow... news spreads fast..." he says. "I took care of him!"
Anya's jaw drops. Something inside of her hoped he would at least try to deny it.
"You fucking killed him!"
He rolls his eyes. "Yeah. That's what I meant when I said I took care of him! Why are you so upset?"
She's so furious, and can't believe he doesn't understand how horrible this is. But of course he doesn't!
"Because you killed him Changkyun! He's fucking dead!" she yells, her mind all over the place. She runs her hand through her hair, paces up and down the room.
"So? I'm sorry, babygirl, but" He gets in her way and looks at her. "Wasn't that the reason you slept with him in the first place? How is me killing him so different from what you're doing here? I just wanted to have his blood on my hands, instead of yours. I did you a favor!"
He's not turning this back on her right now, is he?
"A favor?" She huffs a laugh. "Oh my god!"
"Okay, am I stupid here? Babygirl, this is what all your victims will face now that you collected their souls. They will all die! Don't tell me you didn't realize that!"
Anya is having such a hard time sorting through her feelings, such a hard time figuring out why she's so upset, so heartbroken. It's Henry. She wanted to see him dead! Why does she even care?
"What if anyone saw you? What if someone finds out it was you?"
Kyun rolls his eyes. "Now you're becoming insulting..."
"I just... I can't..." she stammers, and runs her hand through her hair another time. "I can't believe you killed him!"
Kyun scoffs. "Yeah, I'm a demon. That's what I do!"
Startled, she takes a step back and her jaw drops. Her heart clenches, burns inside her chest when she realizes what's actually bothering her about this situation.
For the first time now she seems to realize what he's capable of. What he really is. But no. She doesn't want to see him like this. He's not as cruel, not as horrible as he thinks he is!
Vehemently, she shakes her head, trying to find the words to make him understand.
"No, no! This isn't you!"
Kyun laughs. "Ha! What?"
"This isn't you!" she yells
"Yes, this is me, babygirl!"
Anya keeps on shaking her head, unwilling to accept all this. She can't really have been this in denial, could she? She really believed she knew him better than this.
"What did you think I do in my free time? Volunteering at animal shelters? Gardening? Helping old ladies cross the street? No, I kill people. And I love it!"
It's the way he speaks those words... with this smug grin on his face, as if he were proud of himself that he finally makes her realize–
Oh god.
"This isn't actually about Henry, is it? It's not about avenging me or wanting to free me of the guilt of killing him. This is you trying to show me why it's so damn wrong that I'm in love with y—"
"Yeah maybe because this isn't some Twilight story!" he suddenly yells and she's surprised by his sudden outburst after he was so chill and nonchalant. Seems like she hit the bullseye. "I'm no supernatural creature who chose to be a good guy, to live a more decent life. No. I kill people. And not just the bad guys, babygirl! I've killed innocent people for fun! And still, you're standing here glorifying and idolizing me!"
"I'm not glorifying nor idolizing you!" she whines desperately, trying with all her strength not to burst into tears again. "Do you think I haven't already been to hell and back knowing I gave my heart to a fucking demon? To someone who will never ever love me back? Do you really think I chose this? For what? So I could become a demon as well and have little demon babies and live with you happily ever after? No! Changkyun, me being in love with you is wrong and I know that! And I don't want you to remind me of it by going out there and killing someone!"
Anya loses control and the tears run down her cheeks. She's so desperate. The worst part about all this is that Kyun killing Henry doesn't make her love him less. Because she knows he didn't do this out of cruelty but sheer desperation to prove that he's not good for her.
She bends her morals and values for him and she'll probably do it again and again and again. It makes her sick and scared.
To her pure horror, Kyun sucks his teeth, completely unimpressed by her outburst. "Pity...too late!"
This time she laughs. This is so absurd. "Oh, you really wanna play the asshole here?" Still in complete and utter disbelief, she crosses her arms, can't believe how hard he's trying to make her hate him.
"When was the last time you killed someone? Actually killed someone without making a deal with them first. And don't you dare lie to me!"
"That doesn't mat—"
"It does!" she interrupts him, unable to control her temper. "When, Kyun?"
The demon avoids eye contact while biting his tongue. "The night I met Magnus..."
Again her jaw drops. Does he really think she's stupid? Sure, she told him not to lie to her, but damn he didn't even try to lie!
"Oh, so you're telling me that after seventy years you killed someone without a particular reason again and you didn't do this to prove what kind of monster you are? To prove that you're not lovable, that you don't deserve to be loved?" She pauses for a moment. "Yeah, fuck you, Changkyun, 'cause it's too late for that!"
He still looks at her, his brows furrowed. "You're stupid for ignoring who I am..."
"I am not ignoring who you are!" she yells. "Trust me, I know! And it scares me! You scare me sometimes. But there's a lot about you that I love, that makes me happy!"
Why is it so hard for him to understand? Even if he doesn't get her feelings, he should at least validate them! Somehow accept them instead of making it all seem like she's a lunatic.
"You and I aren't good for each other!"
These words make her even angrier.
"Wow, speaking of Twilight!" she scoffs, takes a step closer, and shoves him. "Wanna leave to protect me as well? Fine. Leave! Go!"
She keeps on shoving him across the living room and even though he's so damn strong he doesn't even try to defend himself.
"Babygirl!" he groans and grabs her wrists but she rips them out of his grip and keeps on shoving him.
"Go. Run away. Cause that's what you do, right? Run away even if you promised not to! Do it!"
"Stop making me angry!" he suddenly shouts and she freezes. "You think love is the solution here, right? Love forgives everything, love is great and big and ahh! Wake the fuck up, babygirl!" A little ungently, he cups her cheeks and looks at her, desperately. "You're ruining yourself for love again. How can you be so stupid?"
Frustrated, she shoves him away from her. "Because I'd rather love and get destroyed by it than be lonely and miserable my whole damn life!" Anya yells, her voice full of desperation. He doesn't even try to understand.
"Then why did you avoid falling in love for so long?" His voice is now as loud as hers. "If it's all worth it?"
"Because if I get destroyed again I want it to be for someone who deserves my love! For someone that accepts me as I am! And you are that kind of person, Kyun!" she yells.
"But I'm not a person, babygirl!" Their voices crash against each other like a thunderstorm. "I'm a demon, I'm fucking dead, I'm a monster!"
"I don't fucking care! Not anymore!" she cries and he seems to have run out of words to say because he falls silent. For a moment Anya stands there and stares at him, wordless, chest heaving.
"I know you've probably already forgotten about the night we first met..." Her voice is calm now, she just can't keep up this fight. "I haven't. I haven't, 'cause back then... something happened inside of me! And I don't mean the deal! No kiss ever felt like yours. No eyes had ever looked at me the way yours do. And no touch made me as weak as yours did..."
Kyun's jaw drops. "But that's who I am!" he whines and runs his hand over his face. "Please! You're so blinded by all the features about me that were created to lure you to hell!"
Anya sees his point. And maybe she is. But it doesn't matter to her at all.
"And still I'm here," she whispers and looks at him. "Not in hell. Thanks to you! Explain that to me! Why am I still alive, Changkyun?"
To this day he's never given her a rational explanation for this, never told her why he chose her. And actually, she didn't care, but now she can no longer ignore this. Because there must be a reason he chose to save her and there must be a reason that she fell in love with him so deeply.
She's not even surprised when Kyun looks at her, clenching his jaw, and not a single word coming out of him.
"Yeah, thought so..." she breathes and turns around. "I need air!"
With shaky legs, Anya walks out on the balcony and lets the mild spring breeze brush over her face.
Her thoughts are running endless circles in her head. What scares her the most is that she doesn't care a bit about Henry's death, all she's scared of is that someone takes this demon away from her before this deal ends.
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We're heading toward the ending, babes 🫠 not yet! We still have about 10 chapters left but considering the length of this story, 10 isn't much 😂 hope you're ready to get some answers very soon!
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