Grieving, stress, and getting weak.
I don't feel like waking up, but I need to do it as I have lots of work;
Not work like what carpenters do every week,
But a kind of work where I fool the people around me and answer them like "I am okay," even though inside me is in berserk.
Crepuscular: stood up in bed and until I laid again.
Crepuscular, I'm just fooling people, pretending to be okay even though I am not.
Crepuscular, it feels like I am dead but need to strive hard to pretend to be alive and more humane.
Crepuscular, a twilight, an hour from dawn to dusk, and all I did is to work a lot.
What is the point of showing them your emotions? They will just judge you, right?
This is what I ask all the time, from dawn to dusk—the whole crepuscular.
Overthinking the actions I did is also one of my works—make myself benight.
I can see the light of the whole crepuscular, but all I can see is my dark smiling face that is so bizarre.
...
Lesson: As I said in the previous chapters, everything had ups and downs. When I was in the situation like waking up just to predent to be okay in front of them, it was hard, it was suffocating. Not until I learn to talk to myself by writing a novel and sees my novels as my reservoir where I can give them my problems and they will take that away from me. So, instead of bothering other people, why not try to find a hobby of yours or a hidden potential of yours that makes you turn your problems into an art that makes your CREPUSCULAR WORK into a productive and meaningful one.