"Zephyr! Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Salubong ni mommy sa'kin. Hindi naman ako umimik at inabot si Zach sa kanya.
"Can you take care of my son for a while, mom?" I asked and didn't wait for her answer. Agad akong pumunta sa bar counter at nilaklak ang unang alak na nahawakan ko.
I still can't believe what happened. Parang panaginip lang pero alam kong tunay to. It was painful but I can't even shed a tear. I'm hurting but my body feels numb. I just want to get drunk and forget everything.
"Son." I didn't look back when dad called me. Tumabi ito sa'kin at nagsalin ng scotch sa isang baso, "Care to tell what happened?"
"I'm fine." I answered. Hindi to umimik at sinamahan lang akong uminom. Ayaw kong magsalita ng kahit ano. Problema ko lang to kaya sosolus'yunan ko din tong mag-isa.
"It's just a challenge, Zephyr. Hurting and being in pain. Matalino ka, alam kong malalampasan mo to." Saad ni dad at tinapik ang balikat ko, "We're here for you." He added and left me. This is all I need, being alone and quiet. But that's what I thought.
I heard Bela's voice calling my name. I don't want to see her but my body automatically walked towards the voice. Nakita ko si Bela kasama ang pamilya ko habang umiiyak to. As soon as she saw me, she run towards me and hugged me.
"Please, makinig ka muna sa'kin. Ayusin natin to. Let me explain." Saad niya pero kinalas ko lang ang yakap niya sa'kin.
"I had enough, Bela." I tiredly said, "Let's just end this."
"Zephyr..." She cried. Agad naman siyang nilapitan ni mommy at inalo.
"Anak, ayaw kong makialam sa problema n'yo pero pakinggan mo muna si Bela." Mom said.
"Just make her leave mom. Ayaw ko na siyang makita." Sagot ko.
"Zephyr, ayusin n'yo ang problema—"
"There's nothing to fix mom! She lied to me! She left my son in my door and you're telling me to fix the problem?!" I bursted in anger. Natahimik naman sila, "This woman mom, this woman left my son. Siya ''yung babaeng inabandona ang sariling anak dahil lang sa gusto niyang gumanti sa'kin! Tell me, how can I forgive her?!"
"I'm sorry—"
"Sorry?!" I cut Bela off, "Alam mo bang muntik nang mawala si Zach sa'kin?! Bakit? Kasi wala ka dun para tulungan akong alagaan siya! Alam mo ba kung ilang beses kitang minura sa utak ko noon dahil sa pag-iwan mo sa anak ko?! Tapos sasabihin mo sorry?! Hindi ko kailangan yan Bela! What I need is you get out of my sight or wait for me to drag you out!"
"H-Hindi ko ginusto 'yun. I was left with no choice. Magnus told—"
"Magnus, Magnus! Puro ka Magnus! Bakit hindi ka na lang sumama sa hinayupak na Magnus na 'yun?! Tutal siya naman talaga ang mahal mo 'di ba?!" Putol kong muli sa kanya. Humagulgol lang to sa harap ko at wala kong ibang maramdaman kundi galit, "Just leave! I don't want to see you again!"
"Zephyr—"
"Leave!" I pulled her arm and drag her out of our house. Pinigilan naman ako ni dad pero pinaalis ko pa din si Bela at malakas na sinarado ang pinto.
"Zephyr please! Just let me be with my son!" Kumakatok na aniya. Hindi ko to pinansin at mabilis na umakyat sa kuwarto ko. Naka-sunod naman si mommy sa'kin.
"Anak, mag-usap kayo ng maayos ni Bela. Hindi solus'yun ang galit!" Sigaw nito sa'kin. Hindi ako umimik at kumuha ng maleta. Agad akong nag-lagay ng mga damit ko dito, "Zephyr!"
"Mom!" I shouted, "Please? Ayaw ko munang marinig ang kahit anong tungkol kay Bela. Hindi lang ako ang sinaktan niya okay? Isipin mo na lang si Zach. She hurt him by leaving. I don't want my son to have any connection to that woman."
"Zephyr..." Mom sighed. Naupo naman ako sa kama at hinilot ang sentido ko. There are many things happen today and I'm really tired. I just want to get some rest and leave everything in this place.
—•—
Kinabukasan ay bumalik ako sa penthouse para kunin ang mga gamit namin ni Zach. Bela hugged me as soon as she saw me but I pushed her away. Hindi ako umimik at inayos ang mga damit namin ng anak ko.
"Saan ka pupunta? Don't leave please!" Pigil niya sa'kin. Tinulak ko lang to at nagpatuloy sa pagaayos ko ng gamit ngunit muli niya kong niyakap. I sighed and stopped from what I'm doing.
"Stop." I pushed her, "Wala nang kwenta sa'kin ang lahat ng gagawin o sasabihin mo. Just let me fix our things and I'll take my leave."
"Hindi! Hindi kita papayagan! Ayusin natin to Zephyr. Kahit para lang kay Zach. Please?"
"My son don't need a bitch like you." I said and pushed her away again. Iyak lang ang singot niya sa'kin.
"Hindi mo ba talaga naaalala? It was a more than a year ago. Pinuntahan kita sa opisina mo para sabihin sa''yung buntis ako pero tinaboy mo ko." Saad niya pero hindi ko siya pinansin. I don't need it anymore. Her excuses and lies is a bullshit to me. I'm done with this.
I zip the bag and carried it in my arm and stared at Bela. It was a nice feeling having a woman like her in my life. She made me happy and brought me to cloud nine. But I know it was just a pretend and it all has come to an end.
"Thank you for the four months you made me happy." I said and she sobbed, "Goodbye Bela."
"Zephyr! Zephyr please, please!" She stopped me but I was stronger than her. Mabilis ko lang siyang natulak at naiwan. As soon as I enter the elevator, I saw her face for the last time and the tears that I can't shed just fall from my eyes.
Agad kong pinunasan ang luhang pumatak mula sa mata ko nang makababa ang elevator sa parking lot. Agad akong nag-maneho pauwi sa'min at pagdating ay naupo ako sa sofa. Pakiramdam ko ay pagod na pagod ako dahil sa nangyari.
"You okay?" Umangat ang tingin ko nang lapitan ako ni uncle Edryl.
"Yeah. What are you doing here, uncle?" I asked. Uncle gave me a smile and sat beside me.
"I heard what happened." He said, "Gusto mo ba ng kausap?"
Umiling ako, "Gusto ko lang po mapag-isa." Sagot ko. Tumango naman siya at tinapik ang balikat ko.
"Ang pag-ibig talaga masakit yan lalo na pag buong puso mong binigay ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya. Madaming paraan para maayos ang isang bagay pero kung papairalin mo ang galit mo ay wala 'yang patutunguhan."
"You don't understand, uncle." I sighed, "She...she left Zach in my door. Alam ko namang may kasalanan din ako kaya niya ginawa 'yun. But how could she do that to her own child? My son is just a baby! How could she leave him vulnerable like that?! Tapos hindi niya inamin sa'kin sa apat na buwang magkasama kami?!"
"Zephyr..."
"Uncle, I trusted her. I loved her. She's the first woman that made me fall like this. Pero anong ginawa niya? Niloko niya ko. Ni hindi man lang niya sinabi sa'kin na may relas'yun pa pala sila ni Magnus. Tell me, how can I just forgive and forget everything?"
"Think about everything Zephyr. Don't decide when you're mad. Kumalma ka muna at isipin mong mabuti ang mga bagay. Wag mong unahin ang galit sa puso mo. Gamitin mo din ang utak mo." Saad ni uncle ngunit umiling ako.
"I already made my decision, uncle. Dadalhin ko na ang anak ko sa america at doon kami maninirahan." Sagot ko. Napa-buntong hininga naman si uncle at napa-iling.
"Anak ka nga ni Saturn." Bulong nito kaya tinignan ko siya, "You'll regret this Zephyr. Sana'y wag kang gumaya sa ama mo na nagdedesis'yun nang galit." Muli itong napa-iling at tumayo sa kinauupuan niya, "Oh god, why does the history is repeating everything?"
Napayuko naman ako at muling sumariwa sa alaala ko ang mga litratong nakita ko. I clenched my fist and closed my eyes to calm myself. I have to keep my cool. They made me stupid, they broke me, they made me fool but that's it. Hindi na nila ko muling mapagmumukhang gago. I've learned my lesson today.
"Anak." Napa-buntong hininga ko nang marinig ang boses ni mom. Lumapit to sa'kin at buhat-buhat niya si Zach kaya kinuha ko to mula sa kanya, "Kumain ka na ba Zephyr?"
"Wala po kong gana." Sagot ko. I hugged my son in my arms and kissed his forehead. From now on, it's just me and you, Zach.
"Uy, si kuya broken! Wala naman kasing forever. Mamamatay din ta''yung lahat." Pangaasar ni Jupiter na agad naman sinuway ni mommy.
"Kumain ka muna Zephyr." Saad ni mommy.
"Babalik na kong america." Sagot ko. Hindi naman to agad umimik, "I-I think I'll be staying there for good. Doon ko na papalakihin si Zach."
"If that what's you want." Mom said sadly. Tinignan ko naman to at niyakap ko ang braso ko sa balikat niya. My mom is always there for me ever since I remember. She made me feel happy whenever I'm sad and she's always there to cheer me up when I'm down. I wished to have a wife like my mom but I guess my mom is the only woman in the world with such a caring and loving heart. My dad is so lucky to have her.
"Thank you, mommy." I whispered, "Dadalawin ka naman namin ni Zach palagi. Don't be sad, okay?" I added but mom starts sobbing.
"Akala ko pa naman dito ka na talaga mananatili. Iiwan mo na naman ang mommy mo, anak." Umiiyak na aniya, "I just can't help but to cry. You're my first son and yet you'll be so far away from me again."
"Nandito naman po si Jupiter. He makes you happy right?" I smiled.
"Malaki na kapatid mo, Zephyr. Isang araw ay aalis na din yan dito para abutin ang mga pangarap niya—"
"Pangarap ko lang naman magsex sa ilalim ng puno—ouch! Okay, I'm sorry!" Natawa ako nang pingutin siya ni mommy.
"See? Papasakitin lang ni Jupiter ang ulo ko." Anito at umiling, "Zephyr, talaga bang sigurado ka na sa desis'yun mo?"
"Yeah." I nodded. I don't think I can live in peace in this country knowing that Bela and I are breathing the same air. I love her and I will not think twice to get back at her if ever this anger I feel subsides and see her again and that's what I'm avoiding. As much as possible, I want to guard my heart from breaking again and this is the only way I know to do it.
"Basta kuya, pag umuwi ka pasalubungan mo ko ng blonde hoes." Jupiter said and laughed.
"Kelan mo balak umuwi dito? Sana lagi ka''yung dumalaw. I will miss you, anak." Saad ni mommy at muling lumuha.
"I don't know mom. Maybe in two or three years." I sighed, "I'll miss you too, mom. Kayo ni dad."
"How 'bout me, bro?!" Singit ni Jupiter ngunit di ko siya pinansin.
"Malaki na si Zach pagbalik n'yo." Ani mommy at humalik sa noo ni Zach, "Ayaw mo muna bang makita ni Bela si Zach bago kayo umalis?"
"Mom—"
"Son, I know it will be hard. Pero Zephyr, ina din ako. Kung puwede lang kita pigilan na umalis ay gagawin ko wag lang malayo si Zach sa ina niya. Pero malaki ka na, hindi ko na dapat pinapakialaman ang mga desis'yun mo. But can you grant me this last wish? Let Bela see her child." She smiled sadly and stared at Zach, "Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagawa ni Bela ang bagay na 'yun pero walang ina ang gustong iwan ang anak. Sana naiintindihan mo 'yun Zephyr."
"Only a heartless mother could do that, mom and she's one of those." I coldly said.
"Zephyr..."
"Fine. But in one condition mom." I said, "Wag mong sasabihin kay Bela kung nasaan kami ni Zach pag alis namin ng Pilipinas. Just this one mom, please? Let me...just let me heal my heart."
"Drama! Wala tayo sa k-drama!" Singit ni Jupiter kaya naiinis na binato ko siya ng dede ni Zach. Kanina pa to ah!
"Gago! Get lost asshole!" Sigaw ko. Tuwang tuwa naman tong tumakbo palayo.
"Hayaan mo na ang kapatid mo." Saad ni mommy, "Okay. I will not tell Bela where you are. Just promise me to take care of my grandson. Wag mo siyang papabayaan ha? And please Zephyr, wag mong kakalimutang ipaalala sa kanya na mahal siya ng kanyang ina."
"Mom..." I whispered and nod, "Okay."