I'm starting to get very angry at myself.
I have a hard time, even feel awkward, writing a story out of order. Like, that's one of the tips I hear for writing the most, is to write the scenes you want to first, go through and see what things fit story-wise, then write whatever comes in between.
I WANT to try this way. But like I said, it makes me feel awkward. I don't know why. There's no one to even see the drafts so it's not a "this is ridiculous" stuff. It's just awkward.
And whenever I try writing in order, I get stumped, end up hating the work, putting it in a "maybe" notes, and then start all over.
And I'm really pisssed because I WANT to make my Fallout fic. I WANT to create this story that is somewhat of a slow-burn gay romance. I WANT to release it.
But holy fuk, I keep getting stuck in a drain clog!
And I don't exactly want a co-writer, I have everything planned. I'm not a perfectionist, but I just want it to go a specific way, perfect or not. I'm a lone wolf with it. I just want it to finally get done without me hating it!
Is this how being an author feels like? Or am I just angsty?