COURTNEY'S POV
What should I do?
Coming up with a plan while under pressure was no easy task, especially with Troy's intense gaze fixed on me.
I need to come up with something as soon as possible. Because if I remained silent for too long, he would become suspicious of me.
My plan was to tell Chad the truth, all the things I'd learned today. I need to be honest with him and come up with a plan to deal with the situation.
I guess we should keep our relationship a secret for now just in case.
But there's one problem.
"If someone rats on him, I bet you will ruin him, too."
Could that someone be Troy?
Would he really tell on Chad?
That's a huge possibility, especially if I tell him that the reason I broke up with him was because I was already in love with someone else. That I didn't really love him. That what we had was convenience.
The problem was, if I did this, I might anger him and make the situation more complicated than it already was.
And if I refused to get back together with him, he might seek revenge in some way or another. Like spreading malicious rumors about me that could ruin Chad.
"Imagine what would happen to that geek after all this? Does he have a scholarship or something? Maybe he will end up in that camp, too."
I was scared.
Knowing Troy, he wouldn't think twice to do this. I was torn if I should just go along with him or stand up for myself.
I knew I had to make a decision quickly.
"No matter what happens, don't fight any battles for my sake."
Chad's voice echoed in my head.
My first promise.
At that moment, I thought it was about making Olivia pay. I was so determined to avenge Chad. For all the horrible things she did to him. For all the things he lost because of her.
But little did I know, it was actually about making myself pay.
I felt a huge weight on my shoulders, a responsibility to keep my word no matter what. I knew I had to keep this promise, no matter the cost.
But, if I keep this promise, it would destroy Chad.
"As long as you promise not to compromise yourself or give up anything you love for my sake."
At the end of the day, one of us would break our first promise to each other.
And knowing Chad, he would take the blame just to save me.
To keep me out of trouble, he would admit the rumor, ruin his record, and lose something important again. And no matter how much I denied this, my past was a solid evidence that I was capable of doing the same thing again.
There was no way out.
Unfortunately, evil deeds won't disappear no matter what. They will always come back to haunt you. You can't run away from it, so you have to face it, take responsibility, and make amends.
Karma is a bitch.
I was so pissed that Olivia hadn't gotten her karma yet, but mine came with full force.
Just when I was getting happier.
Just when I thought everything was running so damn well.
I guess that's how karma works.
Nothing ever comes easy. You always have to pay your dues.
What goes around comes around.
I despised Olivia, but I realized that she and I were just the same. There's no denying it. Both of us would go to any length to get what we wanted.
Olivia chose popularity over Chad, and he lost everything because of it. I manipulated Jeremy so I wouldn't fail and to save myself from the embarrassment of repeating a year. In return, he lost his scholarship and ended up in the camp to work.
Now that I think about these, was it still safe to tell Chad what I did?
What would he think of me if I told him about Jeremy's situation? Would he think I was cruel? That I was just like Olivia? I was scared of how he would react if he knew the truth. I was worried he would think I was a bad person.
But what if he wouldn't?
What if he would accept me and my past since I regret every bit of it?
I've changed!
Isn't that enough?
I am no longer that person. I've grown and evolved, and I'm trying to be better every day.
Chad even said it's pointless to dwell on the past.
Yeah, it's not worth dwelling on the past.
What if you're being chased by the past?
No matter how hard I try, I can't outrun it. I have to face this, and pay.
I don't care about myself anymore, my popularity and even not graduating, I deserve it. I did bad things and I should pay for them.
But Chad.
He doesn't deserve any of this.
I don't want to take away his future. He's been through a lot. I don't want him to have to go through everything again.
I should pay the price for my actions.
"You got me." I rolled my eyes and sighed in pretentious defeat. "I tried to seduce that geek, but he was so hard to please! He freakin thinks highly of himself!" I finished in an irate tone.
Troy's face lit up.
He bought it.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." he said, with a mischievous grin. I smiled back, relieved that I had managed to trick him.
"Well, there are ways to break him, you know." The tone of his voice changed into one that was dangerous and threatening. This has sent chills down my spine.
I tried my best not to flinch, he might see right through me.
"What's the point? Besides, you and the team want that sports scholarship, aren't you? What do you think will happen if you get involved in this?" The hell do I care about them. I was just worried about Chad, that's why I was trying to scare Troy through this.
I knew how important this was to them, too.
"I can make it look like an accident." He said in a menacing tone, and I knew he meant what he said.
I was scared of what he was capable of doing.
I swallowed hard, my heart beating fast.
I had to think fast!
"Don't lower yourself to the likes of him. Trust me, it's not worth it. I just wasted the remaining of my high school life on that geek."
"And to think you broke up with the hottest guy in school for that." Again, with his narcissistic remarks.
Oh god! I couldn't stand him!
I don't know how I managed to stay with him for too long.
I wonder, did I sound that conceited and annoying before?
"Exactly!" I did my very best not to sneer at him. So instead, I laughed.
"I guess you're right. We only have a few months left so we have to prepare."
I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Prepare for what?" I asked.
"The prom, of course!" Troy stood up and walked towards me.
Troy touched my hair and stared at me intently. I felt so uncomfortable. I quickly grabbed a mocktail so I pretended to drink or something in case he would try to kiss me.
Because that's something I wouldn't let happen or even fake it!
"So, go back to your old self and stop this," Troy gestured at me from head to foot, "This boring self of yours. It doesn't suit you."
I swear I was so close to punching him. Who does he think he is? He didn't have the right to tell me how to dress! I was fuming. I wanted to tell him that I'm my own person and I decide what suits me. But instead, I took a deep breath, and forced a smile on my face.
I was left with no other choice.
No matter what I do, it seemed like all roads led to the same outcome. I had to make a difficult decision and this was the only way.
I had to accept it.
I had to do what I thought was best for Chad.
The dream of being with him in the hallway or having lunch together is gone. I know it's not possible now.
As much as I hate pretending, I have to do it.
I have to act like I'm not bothered by his presence. I have to be strong and ignore the pain of not being able to talk to him. I have to act like I don't care. I have to pretend he doesn't exist.
I have to put on a brave face and move on.
Just a few more weeks, Courtney.
For Chad.
I have to make sure Troy doesn't do anything.
I have to keep an eye on him.
I have to be with Troy.
Sorry, Chad.
This is the only way.
-END OF CHAPTER 45-
A/N: Do you think Courtney's decision is justifiable? Is there another way? Share your thoughts!
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