Nevo walks outside of the Nya's room and into the general med bay area. It feels almost cold to the head medic due to the fact that they have to keep Nya's room so warm. As soon as he walks through the doors, Bo-Katan, Ursa, Alrich, Tristan, and Sabine Wren, Plo-Koon, Commander Wolffe, Sinker, and Boost all stand up or stop in their tracks.
"She's alive."
Everyone breathes out a breath of relief, then Sabine asks, "What happened?"
Nevo shifts his weight, sighs, then says, "Based on her bloodwork, she overdosed on the sleeping pill, dipill."
The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. No one speaks, and Nevo doesn't try to make them. Nya's family and friends are all trying to understand what would make her do that. Eventually, Sinker croaks out,
"Sleeping pills?"
Nevo nods. "The head medic of the 501st legion, Kix, prescribed them to her during her stay on The Resolute."
Wolffe, Sinker, and Boost then mutter a couple of curses in Mando'a. She had told the three of them about the nightmares when they were on The Resolute but all three had forgotten about them when the Wolfpack returned to the war. He felt terrible. Nya had checked up on all three of them regularly, but none of them bothered to check on her. And because of that, she could have died.
Sinker blows his breath, and practically yells, "How were we so stupid?"
Boost and Wolffe both look down. Everyone else is confused. And Plo voices their concern.
"What do you mean?"
Wolffe clenches his jaw but explains. "Nya would come to us when we needed help. She told us she was having nightmares about The Malevolence, but when we started back out we kriffing forgot! But she still came to help us and to talk to us whenever we needed. And we still didn't see it."
Nevo speaks up now. "If she didn't want you to know, it's highly unlikely that you would have. Based on the high levels of dipill in the Commander's bloodstream, she's been taking it consistently for at least the last month. Which means that the effectiveness would have worn off. So she continued upping the dose."
"You don't get it," Boost yells. "You weren't there, we were. Nya was the one who kept our spirits up in that escape pod simply because she never gave up hope that someone would find us. Yet we didn't see it. And we never thought to help her, even when she helped us."
Nevo keeps his mouth shut. He knows to hold his tongue right now. The clone survivors of The Malevolence are blaming themselves, and feeling guilty. The only person who will be able to convince them otherwise won't be able to tell them until she wakes up. And there's no telling when that will be.
Bo-Katan breaks the silence. "Can I see her?"
Nevo turns to face her. He nods, and says, "Of course, ma'am."
The baar'ur turns and walks with Bo into Nya's room. The doors close behind them, and as soon as Bo and Nevo can no longer see them, Wolffe sits down in one of the chairs for the first time since he arrived in the med bay. Wolffe places his head in his hands and rubs his face. For everyone who did not know how the clone commander felt about the Mandalorian Jedi, they did know that the two were good friends.
To most, it would appear as though a friend felt guilty about not noticing something about the woman who seemed to be his best friend. But to Wolffe, he really felt guilty about not noticing what was wrong with the woman who came into his life with a bright smile and a Mandalorian greeting. The woman who made him fondly smile and sigh in exasperation at the same time with her selflessness. The woman who created the very name that they go by. Wolfpack.
***
Inside Nya's room, Nevo gestures for Walker, Hypno, and Net to move away from the bed. While the medics have never met Nya's mother before, it was clear to them all that this was Nya's mother.
For a moment, Bo's eyes sweep over her daughter. The oxygen mask over her face. Her closed eyes. The stillness that doesn't seem to fit her. Then Bo crosses over the empty space to Nya's bed. The older Mandalorian woman takes Nya's limp hand, and squeezes it. She turns her head to look at Nevo and asks,
"How long will she be asleep?"
"I'm not sure, ma'am. She could wake up in a few hours to a few days, a few weeks to a few months, or... never. Right now, ma'am, it's all up to the Commander."
Bo sets her shoulders and says, "Then she'll wake up." After a pause, Bo says, "Has she ever told you her real name, Nevo?"
"No, ma'am, she hasn't."
"Nya is her nickname, but her real name is Nyathera. It's an old Mandalorian name that means 'she survives'." Nevo nods, and Bo continues. "I found her as a newborn on Krownest. It's a planet covered in snow year round. Most babies left there die within a few hours, but she was out in the snow for two days."
Nevo gets a look of realization on his face. "That's how her hypothalamus was damaged."
Bo nods to him. "Nya has survived worse odds before now. She'll wake up, if I know her, she'll wake up."
Nevo nods, and then leaves the room after getting a chair for Bo from the corner.
***
Three weeks after her overdose, Nya still has not woken up. Bo-Katan and the Wrens have had no choice but to go back to Mandalore, their duties demanding their return. Plo gives them updates every time something happens, but as general, he has his own duties to attend to, and so cannot stay with Nya at all times. Though that is what he wishes he could do.
Sinker and Boost though have taken to delivering Wolffe his paperwork and doing his physical duties so that he can sit with Nya during the day. The two of them trade off doing night shifts though.
In sitting with her, Wolffe has seen her hand twitch and the corner of her mouth turn up. Nevo and the other baar'urs are hopeful now that she has begun to move, Nya will wake up soon. And indeed, they are right to hope.
Wolffe is going through paperwork, signing off on what he needs to and reviews Sinker and Boost's reports, when he hears a noise come from the bed that Nya has been lying on. It sounds like a noise coming from someone's throat. He looks up from his datapad and sees Nya shift. The clone commander sets his datapad on the night table, and stands from the chair.
Underneath her eyelids, her eyes move around. Then Nya's eyelids begin to try and open. Wolffe takes a seat on the edge of her bed, and waits. It takes a moment, but then the Jedi's eyelids start to flutter. And not a second later, dark blue eyes are staring into Wolffe's own honey brown.
The two stare at each other for what seems to be forever to them, but is really only a few moments, before Wolffe hesitantly reaches out a hand to touch her face. The Mandalorian girl's eyes start to fill with tears as she realizes what had happened. As she realizes the consequences that her actions had. And as she realizes what she would have left behind if her hopes had happened.
A tear falls from the corner of her eye and down her cheek. Nya's breath stutters in her lungs as her tears begin to fall down her cheeks in earnest. Her voice is rough from disuse when she says,
"Ni ceta, Wolffe."
Wolffe's eyes widen a fraction when he hears what Nya said. An apology as profound as that is a rare thing from a Mandalorian. They are all proud people, and rarely apologize, at least like this. But when they do, it's serious. Wolffe, however, cannot say a word. His mouth won't say the words. When he finds his voice, Wolffe only asks,
"Why?"
"Because they're all gone. And I'm their Commander, but I couldn't do anything."
Wolffe stays quiet because he can't find the words to tell her anything. This is the very thing he said when Nya had confronted him about being cold and closed off toward the new members of the new Wolfpack. So the clone reaches back into his memory to find what she said to him. Then he says it, with his own spin.
"It isn't your fault. The only one who is at fault here is Grievous. Everything you have ever done in this war was done for them. You didn't fail." Wolffe pauses, and then says, "Cody once told me, 'Sometimes in war it's harder to be the one who survives'. But that doesn't mean you can't honor their memory. Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la."
"Not gone, merely marching far away." Nya takes a deep breath, and nods.
Wolffe smiles at her, then stands. "Nevo told me to get him when you woke up. I'll be back." On his way out, he turns back and says, "And, Nya, if you ever need anything, I'll be there." He hesitates, then says, "Ner kar'ta."
Nya blinks in surprise as her mind spirals. Not a few minutes later, Nevo comes in, interrupting her thoughts.
***
A few days after Nya woke up and was released from the med bay, she once again had a nightmare. The Jedi scrambled up to a sitting position, her chest heaving while she tries to regain her breath. As she sits tucked up in the corner, Wolffe's words come to her mind.
'If you ever need anything, I'll be there.'
Nya wraps her blanket around her shoulders, and stands. At this time of night, Wolffe will likely be working still. But he'll have at least gone back to his quarters to start to wind down. The Mandalorian Jedi opens her quarters, and wraps herself in a strong notice-me-not suggestion. Then she begins the walk to Wolffe's quarters.
She gets there, and knocks on the door.
"Coming," Wolffe mutters.
The Wolfpack commander opens the door, and doesn't seem surprised to see Nya standing there. With the thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders, brown hair laid messily around her shoulders, and red tear tracks on her face. Without saying a word, Wolffe moves to the side, letting Nya into his quarters.
Once the door is locked and Wolffe has turned to face Nya, she says, "I need help."
Wolffe nods. "What do you need?"
It takes her a moment, but eventually Nya looks him in the eyes and says, "I had a dream of what happened. And... I was wondering... if I could sleep in here with you?"
Wolffe nods without hesitation, and gestures to the bunk on the wall. Nya slowly crosses over to Wolffe's bunk and sits down on it. She then scoots over toward the wall. The clone commander turns off the light, waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and then crosses over to the bunk.
Wolffe sits on the edge of the bed, takes his boots off, and then lays down. He turns to face the back of Nya's head, and she shoves her body against his. Wolffe pulls the blanket up over the two of them, and he makes no protest when she pushes herself against him. For the clones, physical contact was always something that was comforting for them, Nya turned out to be of a similar mind. And she also had the issue of never being able to warm up. Which made hugs and physical contact with someone who was warm even more enjoyable for her.
The clone commander listens to the quiet sobs of the young woman that held his heart as she dwelt on the dream that she had. He wraps his arms around her frame. Eventually, Nya's quiet sobs taper off into even breathing. Her body relaxes and she finally falls asleep.
Not long after Nya has fallen asleep, Wolffe's eyes close, and he falls asleep as well.
***
Over the next few months, Nya and Wolffe grow closer. And Sinker and Boost watch and wait for the outcome of this. While all three of them continue to help Nya. Along with her master, Plo-Koon, her buir, Bo-Katan, Ursa Wren, Alrich Wren, Tristan Wren, and Sabine Wren.
It takes her a long time, but eventually, Nya can sleep without being bombarded every night by the nightmares that relive the events of The Malevolence. She recovers from her overdose and realizes that she was wrong to have taken as many as she did and that she was wrong to hope she would die.
Because if she had, her life would have ended, and she never would have known the moments of happiness that she has had ever since.
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"The only journey is the one within." -Rainer Maria Rilke
Translations-
Baar'ur - Medic
Ni ceta - Sorry [lit. I kneel] groveling apology - rare
Nu kyr'adyc shi taab'echaaj'la - Not gone, merely marching far away
Ner kar'ta - My heart