"What the hell did you just say?!" Bright yelled at the doctor. I quickly pulled him back and tugged at his arm to bring him back from his angry self. I was also feeling messy inside. I didn't even know what to think.
"B-Bright, calm down a bit, okay? Let her talk first." I stuttered and tried to calm him down. He glanced sidewise at me and said nothing. At least. Though I was feeling stressed about the situation, I knew I shouldn't panic at a moment like that.
"What d-do you exactly mean, doctor?" I slowly asked.
"W-we found unusual symptoms before and told you, didn't we? And last week, those were visible in the scan too... We thought it would cease but didn't... however, we couldn't assume anything because we didn't have any proof at first." she slowly said.
"Y-you are saying t-that my baby ha-has some problem? And you can prove i-it?" I asked, mentally pleading for her to say no.
"Yes."
The grip I had around Bright's arm dropped. I knew I wouldn't be the luckiest person. Problems kept on following me... but this... Tears bubbled into my eyes within seconds.
I felt so helpless as Bubble's birth parent. I couldn't believe those words said by the doctor. I loved our Bubble so much, but.. thinking there was something wrong.. an abnormality... hurt me so much.
There was nothing I could do, nothing. I felt so helpless. It was happening.. and was there no way to treat him?
Bright quickly held my shoulders when I started crying. There were so many things stuck in my mind, and I wanted to let them out. I didn't know why bad things kept on following me like that.
"Let it out, okay?" Bright asked in a small voice, and I realized he was also holding back his sorrow because he didn't want to break apart in front of me. He tried his best not to show his true emotions because I was already falling down.
"I- I can't believe this! Where did it go wrong, Bright?! Where??? Was it my fault?? Was it something I ate or when I didn't follow what you said and did housework?! Or how did this happen?? How could this be happening?" I yelled, crying aloud.
I didn't mind at all how loud I was crying out or even if there was another person in the room. All that occurred in my mind was.. our baby was different from normal. I didn't want to call it abnormal.
"Why did it turn out like this??" I asked Bright again, though I knew he didn't have any answers.
Bright looked at me and rubbed my back but said nothing. I wanted to cry forever.
"But- uh... we predicted what it might be-", Doctor Zunshine started. "We didn't notice any physical difference... so we are assuming it might be a minor case.. as in an internal problem or something like blindness."
"It's not small, is it??" I accused her of her usage of words. I wanted to smash the whole world into tiny bits and destroy everything. "Bright, this cannot be happening! Why??"
"No.. yes, it will be alright. We'll be able to treat him. It's not going to be a big thing.." Bright said, hugging me tightly. He was slightly shaking from his silent cries.
We stayed in the same position hugging each other and silently crying. We had no other way to push out our emotions.
One thing I thought in my mind was I didn't care our Bubble was going to be different from others... cause I loved him anyways. But I badly wanted to know how it happened... out of nowhere.
Bright broke the hug and wiped my tears, smiling at me. I felt relieved to see his smile, and it made me feel much better.
"C-can I talk alone with Win?" the doctor nervously asked.
Bright and I looked at her silently, asking why.
"I-it will be better. Also, the alpha can take the ultrasound images of last week's scan from the same place," she said, giving a faint smile.
"Oh yeah," Bright mumbled.
"You should go get them then." I ushered, knowing how the doctor had something she wanted to tell me privately.
Doctor Zunshine watched as Brightlefte the room and made sure the door was closed. Then she came back quickly, looking more nervous than before.
"I- I want to confess something," she said in a rather low voice. I looked at her, confused, as she took another file and started going through it. She looked like she was in a hurry and also in a panic.
"T-these are the re-results of your genetic test," she said calmly and pressed one of the papers to my hands.
"What does it say?" I asked curiously. "I won't understand," I said. It was true that I did science and worked as a nurse, but I didn't work in the genetic area or study anything related to this case.
She took a deep breath and took the paper from me again.
"Y-you'll have to calm down first," she mumbled and took a seat on the chair where Bright sat before. It was right next to the bed I was resting on.
"What bad news it is?" I asked in a sullen voice.
"There's a change in your genes," she said.
"Means?" I asked.
"How did it go when you were an omega?" she asked slowly as if slowly reaching for the worst point.
"Mmm, kind of bad, so bad. Like I.. hid about it from my family.. only my friend who came last week knew about it." I said.
"Uh-huh."
"So... a few months back, I had to come out because of a sudden heat," I explained shortly.
"A-and so you took medicines to hide your scent before you came out?" she asked.
"Yeah, to hide my scent.. every day," I mumbled.
"D-did you know Win.." she started slowly gulping. "Those suppressants are recommended only for emergencies... and their saturation is so high.... also there are many side effects."
I hummed. "I know... but I had no choice but to use them every day," I said as the reason.
"Yeah... so... uhm.. according to the results... the suppressants have worked on your body like a drug...... a-and-" she quickly looked away when our eyes met.
I realized what she meant by her words.
My body shuddered at her words and my assumptions.
"Y-you are saying that B-Bubble is.... li-like this be-because of m-me?" I asked, whispering the last part.
Doctor Zunshine slowly nodded, looking at me.
It hit me hard... a burning sensation spread in my heart.
I gasped and covered my lips with both my hands. No one.. literally no one can even imagine what I felt at that moment... that dreadful day.
I was pregnant with our Bubble...
a-and I was also the reason he was going to suffer in his life.. it was all because of me...
We didn't know what type of abnormality he had, whether it was minor or major, whether it was going to end up well or bad.
How much I hated myself to the point I wanted Bubble to have another birth parent... I wanted Bright to have another lovely mate... my parents to have another responsible and good son... I wanted to vanish from the world because... I was hurting my own son.
It all started with one single lie... if I didn't lie about my identity, I probably wouldn't have faced all the trouble of hiding, feeling down, having no one to tell my secret to... and finally, I was hurting the person I loved the most, I was hurting my baby who was different from normal... because of me. It was all because of my stupid, fucked up decisions...
"Tell me it's not true," I whisper-asked her, bringing my knees up with the bump in between.
The doctor slowly looked down and twirled the paper between her fingers. She couldn't reply.
I was back to my miserable self again. I felt like a cruel person who even hurt their own... unborn baby because of their clueless, irresponsible actions...
I screamed and kicked at the table next to me. I threw away the blanket. I wanted to kill myself so badly! The doctor quickly got on to her legs and tried to calm me down. But no one could stop me from reacting my own way. It was one hell of a mess.
Two things lingered in my mind.
How was I supposed to be Bubble's parent when I was the one who caused him to be different?
How was I supposed to face Bright??
'Why did every bad thing happen to me.. why couldn't I ever be free from my past acts.'
"Win. You have to calm down. This is not good for your baby." she panicked and said.
I quickly shook my head, pushing her away from me. I didn't want her near me. I wanted to be alone.
I never wanted my baby to suffer because of me... I wanted my baby to have all the world's happiness and be with us completing our little family... when I realized I was going to be the reason for all his.. differences, I wished I was never born. I wish I had never existed.
I got engulfed in a hug by the doctor, and I hugged her back, crying at the top of my lungs. How bad could things turn out?
It was my fault all along. All the bad symptoms my baby showed were all because of the times I chugged in tons of pills to hide from the freaking world like a coward.
"It's okay. It's okay," she whispered in my ears.
I wanted to say it wasn't okay. It was so bad. But I couldn't even bring myself to move from where I was. I quickly broke the hug and looked at her, terrified.
"D-doctor Bright is going to hate me.. he's going to hate me-" I choked out. "a-and my baby's going to hate me. Everyone will hate me for what I did! C-can you please treat my son?? I don't care even if I die in the process!" I cried saying.
"Win, there are ways to treat, but... I told you, the drugs were too powerful and all... But I promise you. I will do everything to treat your baby. It will all be fine. We'll do our best, okay?" she asked.
"W-what do you suggest for parents like me.. who are going to have a different... child?" I slowly asked.
"We look into it more and suggest.. many ways... we direct them to counsellors and well... there are two ways, one is.. to have the baby with the correct treatments... and there's the other method... It's too late for that," she said, trailing off.
I took a shaky breath, hearing her words.
My whole body was shaking, and my head started to ache so bad. It was too much for me.
I thought having my Bright and completing a family with him, I had the best future... but my past decisions never failed to ruin my life.
"Are you... going to tell your alpha the truth?" the doctor slowly asked.
I nodded, still in tears.
"But I think... it's better if you hide this from-"
"No, no, no." I shook my head quickly. "I won't hide... I don't want to go through the misery again... I am sure Bright will hate me after this... for hurting his son, but I won't lie to him ever again. I will tell him the truth even if he throws me out to the streets."
Just as I said those words, the doors opened, and Bright came inside. I quickly wiped my tears, and Doctor Zunshine moved away. She stood a bit far and looked at us nervously.
Bright came in empty-handed. I regained myself quickly and asked,
"W-where are the pictures, Bright?" my whole body was shivering due to fear and sadness, but I decided to tell him everything right there.
Bright looked at me darkly, and I saw him hesitating about his next action. He didn't look like the Bright I knew. His face looked jammed with many emotions at the same time.
I watched and waited for him to reply. But he didn't. Instead, he quickly walked to me, which startled me. He pulled me into a hug, and I gasped at how tightly he locked me in his arms.
I quickly hugged back, waiting for him to say something.
He breathed in and out a few times, not breaking the tight hug.
"I-it's okay," he muttered.
I didn't reply cause I knew that he didn't know the whole truth but-
"You don't have to blame yourself for this, and I won't hate you either." I gasped when I realized that he knew. He broke the hug and looked straight into my eyes. His eyes were glistening in tears which he was careful not to spill out.
"I... I listened to the whole conversation, and I am lying if I say it didn't anger me..." he sighed and took a deep breath. "We are going to do our best with Bubble. And I don't blame you even the slightest for this incident. Because fuck the society, and you don't have to take this into your overthinking head at all, okay?"
I bit my lower lip listening to him. I couldn't believe his words.
"And Bubble will never hate you. You are the greatest and the most loveliest person I've ever met. You've taken tough decisions when you were really small, and it's not your fault. If this freaking society did accept omegas, things wouldn't have turned out like this."
Bright turned to Doctor Zunshine.
"I want you to keep this a secret until Bubble is born. After that, I know what to do."
That day I saw a really new side of Bright. His straightforward words and caring side did help me to put a small break into the developing self-hate...
I didn't stop blaming myself for Bubble's condition, though... What took my attention the most was how Bright's love and care towards me didn't change even the slightest bit... though I thought it would.
But I figured out he was planning something behind my back.
Not against me.. but against everyone else but our little family.
This chappie was too sad to write😭😭😭
Who wants to claim the cupcake below at the end of the book?
-Sunshine🧁