She didn't want to leave the protection of Nyx's arms, but he said that they needed to speak about what had happened. He'd left her in the bath to see if Azriel was at the house- he was, and so Nyx told Theia it was time to get dressed. She frowned at him as she rose from the tub and dried herself. He was already dressed, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. She could feel his anger like it was a flame against her skin.
Theia pulled her clothes from the trunk and dressed herself in a light summer gown. Nyx hadn't moved, hadn't spoken, but Theia felt the pull to him as she tentatively walked up to him. Her head tilted back as she met his eyes. Her lashes fluttered at the warmth of his hand ghosting over her jaw and grasping her chin, leaning down to kiss her slowly. Her own hands were on his chest, her heart beating in time with the one beneath her palm.
"We will get this sorted out. Don't be nervous, I will be with you the entire way," Nyx spoke against her lips. Theia nodded, rising onto her toes to kiss him again. She'd much rather die with his lips on her than of shame. All too soon, Nyx pulled away and slid a hand around her waist. It rested just below her wings and urged her to walk as Nyx opened the door.
The walk to the main floor was utter torture. Despite herself, her hands shook- with rage or nerves, she didn't know. Theia desperately wanted to turn back and hide away with Nyx, but this was for his sake. Closure for him so he didn't feel the need to leave his family for her. Though, it would be her final hand to them. If Rhysand or Azriel, or even Cassian, did something else to her, she would leave.
She thought they aimed for the sitting room, but Nyx turned her down the corridor to Rhysand's office. Theia steeled herself, lifting her chin and clutching Nyx's arm hard enough for her nails to leave indents. He shot her a quick grin before pushing the door open. Rhysand sat in his seat beyond the desk, his hair a mess as if he had run his hands through it. Azriel stood beside the desk, not dressed in his leathers but a dark shirt and loose trousers. His arms were crossed, eyes narrowed on the couple.
Suddenly, Theia felt like a child. A child being brought to the children that teased her to get a forced apology even though nobody meant it. Theia's eyes met Azriel's and she couldn't help herself as her eyes fell and shame burned her cheeks. Nyx cleared his throat, making her head snap to him. He was glaring at his father.
"Theia, I understand that what I did to you was wrong morally, but it was just another way to ensure my court is safe and going to the right hands. That's my only excuse, and I'm sorry. I should not have toyed with your emotions. I had my suspicions, and I see now that I was very wrong. I don't admit that often, but I was. I'm sorry for hurting you, taunting you, and testing you. I do wish for you to understand that I told Azriel it was finished before I gave my blessing of your marriage to Nyx."
Theia stared at him, feeling the emotions flicker across her face. She hated that she was an open book, but she had no control now. Her brows knitted, her throat working on a swallow. How do you forgive the father of the male you love after everything they've done? Was it even forgiveness that made her lips part? She felt none of it. Theia didn't even know what the words were until they hung in the otherwise silent room.
"My body and mind are not yours to play with. I am my own person, High Lord, and I will not be your puppet. Treat me like this again and I will take your son very far away and you will have no heir. He will follow me anywhere, I hope you understand that."
Nyx's hand slipped to her back, fingers dipping between her wings as he ran his hand up and down her spine. He was proud of her. A light feeling took root in her chest as she turned her gaze to him. He was already grinning down at her.
Rhysand's hand tightened into a fist on the desk. "I assume he would. I do not intend to play with you any further, Theia. You are right for my son and you are part of this family now. You will be treated like such."
Theia didn't entertain a response to him. The air felt thick when she met Azriel's gaze. His jaw popped as his eyes turned to Nyx.
"I prefer my apology be done without an audience."
Nyx's hand flattened on Theia's spine, his body rigid. Her heart pounded hard enough that she was sure each male heard it. Her throat felt right as she tried to swallow and nod.
"That's fine." Her voice was meeker than she meant. Embarrassment climbed her neck as she turned, being stopped by Nyx's grip on her arm. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her jaw.
"If he hurts you, I will kill him. Do you understand? Do not keep it from me."
Theia nodded, shivering when she felt Azriel's arm brush hers. She followed him into the corridor, cringing at the sound of the door shutting behind them. Azriel walked a short distance down the corridor before turning. Theia's hands shook hard enough that she had to grip the skirt of her gown. Before she knew it, she was speaking.
"You violated me. You manipulated my emotions and my body."
She watched a tendril of shadow curl around his jaw, snaking down the center of his throat. A shuddering breath left her before she met his eyes again.
"I didn't do that. I acted on a lust that wasn't meant for you. I used the test as an excuse, because I didn't want you to assume I wanted you. I have no plans to battle the heir for your hand or for a night with you in my bed. I-."
He cut himself off, his features softening as his eyes trailed her face. Theia bit down on her lip and reached up to feel a wetness on her cheeks she hadn't noticed. How long had she been crying? His words stung, simply because it felt almost painful to hear such regret and denial when she was used to feeling need from Nyx.
"I had no intentions of hurting you. You remind me so much of a lover in my past that it was almost like something deep within me needed you. It isn't you, it's my memory. I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have taunted you and brought you to that point. I should not have taken you against the wall. Understand that those were never my intentions and that I lost control."
Theia's lip trembled as she nodded, turning her gaze to the floor. She felt so much shame for entertaining the idea, and so much embarrassment by learning that desire was meant for someone else. Theia gasped when a cool knuckle grazed her jaw, lifting her chin. He was standing right before her now, chin dipped as he glanced between her eyes.
"It is not because of something you did. You're stunning, Theia. You know that, but you are Nyx's. It doesn't matter what he says. You are his and there will be no competition for your hand. I see the love you have for him in the way you reach for him, look at him. Love like that is rare, and I will not compromise that to fulfill a fantasy of someone I loved like that centuries ago. Do you understand?"
Theia nodded, tasting the tang of blood from where her teeth dug into her lip. Azriel let out a sigh as his hand went to her cheek.
"If you had agreed to what I offered, it wouldn't have been love. It wouldn't have been sweet and gentle. It would have been raw need for a female that isn't you. You don't deserve that, you deserve what you get from him. Someone that touches you out of love and desire. Am I right?"
Theia nodded, closing her eyes against his stare. "I understand," she whispered. His hand rose from her cheek and to the back of her head, pulling her into his chest. Theia's eyes squeezed shut at the warmth of his arms around her shoulders, his hand massaging the back of her head. Slowly, she brought her own hands up and around his waist.
"There's no need to be sad. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for using your emotions against you. I promise it will never happen again. I was incredibly wrong for that, and I'm sorry."
It was more of an apology than she had expected and it tore her apart. Azriel had been tortured by his past and he'd acted out; she had done that plenty before. Theia sucked in a heavy breath and leaned back, meeting his eyes again. His hand moved from the back of her head and smoothed her hair behind her ear. He offered a smile, but Theia knew it wasn't real. She tightened her lips and stepped back, brushing his hands from her.
"I accept that as an apology. Thank you, Azriel; for everything you said. I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry for- entertaining you, I guess."
Azriel shook his head and laid a hand on her shoulder, turning her back to Rhysand's office. Theia pushed against his hold, stopping to wipe her cheeks. Azriel waited until she took another step before he urged her forward and opened the door. Silence greeted them, uncomfortable and thick. Nyx's eyes narrowed on Azriel's hand and then Theia's eyes. She bit her lip and shook her head, walking forward and out of Azriel's reach. Her arms looped around Nyx's waist, not caring who watched. She pressed her face into his chest and breathed in his scent, immediately feeling more calm. His hands smoothed her hair before looping around her shoulders and pulling her in.
"We're done here."
He turned them and Theia walked out of the door, wiping at her eyes again. A gasp tore from her throat when Nyx walked forward, grabbing her shoulder, and winnowing them to his bedroom. Theia stumbled forward but Nyx caught her. The next thing she knew, she was facing him and his lips were on hers. He kissed her slowly, like a reward of his mouth. Nyx pulled back and met her eyes.
"You did so good, pretty girl. Why were you crying?"
Gods, Azriel was right. Theia got the truest form of love from Nyx. So far, at least, there was no bond that drew them together. It was their true feelings and nothing less. Nyx gave her more love and comfort than she could ever dream of.
"He apologized. He explained his side and explained why he did it. I don't know why it made me cry, I just did," she answered softly. Nyx brushed her hair back and dipped down with another kiss. That light sensation in her chest grew, drawing in more and more of his love until she felt like she would explode. Her fingers danced in his hair, their tongues tasting the unspoken words on each other.
Another tear slipped from her closed eyes but she didn't hate that one. That tear was simply from the realization that Nyx was hers, she was his, and there would be no changing that. Her future was a promise of love and family, power and truth. It was everything that she had dreamed of as a child. She never had to return to the village or remember who she had been centuries ago, because now Theia was entirely new. She was loved and cherished by the male that her body and soul sang for.