When waking up in Nyx's arms, Theia was sure all would be right. It was a nightmare, a terrible dream conjured from her nerves and too much wine. The burn of her swollen eyes and the raw sensation in her throat was too telling that it was all real. She'd been manipulated and tested yet again, and then broke down entirely in front of them. She had wanted to hurt them, not look weak.
A whimper left her throat as she pressed her face into Nyx's chest, the sting of tears becoming too familiar. She felt so much shame for considering Azriel's taunting. Nyx had been there. He had been in her mind and knew what she had considered, and yet he still laid with her. He still held her as she cried and told her that he loved her. She felt like she had betrayed him in every way.
"You're okay," a throaty whisper sounded from above her head, vibrating the chest she tried to hide within. His arm tightened around her waist and his hand flattened to the back of her head. Theia fought the urge to cry against him. He didn't deserve to have her emotions and turmoil thrust upon him again. He did not need to hear the weight on her chest. Nyx held everything for her. He had taken all of her pain from the past and laid it over himself like a blanket of boulders on a bed of nails.
"I'm sorry," Theia whispered, not recognizing the voice that came from her. It sounded torn and broken.
"There's no reason to be. I have you, nothing will hurt you."
Her chest swelled as the tears won the battle. She didn't deserve such kindness from him. Not like this, where he held her to his chest and protected her even after she considered that with Azriel. It was somebody he had known his entire life, laughed with as a child, and Theia would've done it. Shame burned her cheeks.
"You don't deserve this, Nyx," Theia murmured, cringing at the way her voice broke. From the stories she had heard, there had never been a wedge between him and his family until she arrived. She tore apart a bond that should've been unbreakable.
She felt him lean back, tugging at her hair so he could meet her eyes. Her heart broke. He looked so tired, yet he was awake because she was full of sorrow and regret.
"Don't deserve what, Theia?" His tone was serious, like he knew where her mind had gone. Maybe he had, she didn't know. She didn't feel his presence within her mind but she hadn't had the strength to block him out, either.
"Everything I've done to you," Theia responded, her voice breaking. Another tear slipped from her lashes and she hated it. She hated feeling broken again. The highs had been too good, she should've known the downfall would've crippled her. The Mother wasn't fair in that aspect. The Mother knew that Theia didn't deserve such joy, not when she had never had it before.
"Explain." He wasn't angry, but his body was stiff. A warrior that knew when the blow would come and he readied himself to take the hit. It would hurt, but he'd been trained to take it without falter. Her chest ached more at that thought. He must be incredibly used to taking those hits from her.
"You have taken too much of my pain and all I've given you is more. I've torn you from your family and I put you through things that you should never have dealt with." Her words fell in sobs. Nyx's fist tightened in her hair and Theia squirmed, trying to get out of his hold. She didn't want his comfort; didn't deserve it.
"Theia," Nyx snapped, his hand pushing her hips into the bed. Theia didn't fear him, but she feared that he would continue to offer his comfort and support when she needed to get away from it. She shoved at his chest and slid back on the bed. When his hands weren't on her anymore, she sat up, running her own hands over her face. She was so fucking tired of crying.
"I've heard the stories, Nyx. You were so happy before me. I've ruined you because that's all I ever do. You don't want me, you shouldn't have me, because your life won't be the same." She was cut off by a shuddering sob, one that made the ache in her chest worsen. "Your family will always hate me and you will always fight with them. I need to go back to that stupid fucking village and just deal with it. I know this is the Mother telling me to stop it before it gets worse. Why would this time be different? We didn't work last time."
She hardly finished her words before his hand was on her arm, dragging her to him. Theia shook her head, staring up at him with tear-blurred vision. She was a harbinger of destruction and sorrow. He deserved so much more. Nyx swiped her hair from her sticky cheeks and held her face, tilting her head back. He was on his knees, like her. His eyes scanned her face as another whirl of sobs wracked her chest.
"Listen to me. I don't want to hear that shit come out of that mouth again, Theia. I don't give a fuck what the Mother thinks. I don't care what the Cauldron, the Gods, my fucking family have to say about us. I have fought time and time again to have you at my side. You told me you would marry me, Theia, and I will hold you to that. If you fucking run again, I will hunt you down, do you hear me? You are mine, Theia, and I will use any mean to keep you."
Theia's shoulders shook as she glanced between his eyes, fighting the urge to wipe her own. She didn't understand why he would want her in place of his family. The only times they'd ever hurt him was when it came to her. Why would he still want her? How could he?
"Why? Why would you want to stay around me after all of this? They don't want me here, Nyx. I don't want to have them constantly suspicious of me or trying to test me, just to have you hating them in the end," she cried, trying to lower her chin. Nyx's hand was on her throat, his thumb pushing her head back. Her eyes squeezed shut because she couldn't see him anymore. He didn't deserve this.
"I don't care what they want!" The sudden rise in his voice made her flinch, back bowing as she tried to cower. It was too common for her to fall into herself when these emotions hit her.
"This is about you and me, Theia. You are what I want. If they don't fucking approve, I don't have to be here. If you don't want to be around them, I will take you anywhere. I don't see how you can't understand this. I love you. I have done everything in my power to have you. Fuck, Theia! I tore you apart back then just so you'd depend on me. I'm not kind, I am not gentle. I proved that long ago when all I wanted was you, so I took everything else away from you. You didn't deserve that, but I don't care because you're here now.
"You're in my bed, in my home. This is all I ever wanted ever since I met you in that fucking tavern. There is nothing that will keep you away from me. If I have to leave this family behind, I will, because you are my family. We will raise one on our own. Yes, my parents have been my safe space since I was a child, but now it's you. You're all I ever wanted and I will not give you up."
His words wrecked her. Theia's hands grasped his forearm as sobs hit her. She didn't know why he gave her so much love when she didn't deserve it. He had always given, she had always taken. She'd always be greedy when it came to Nyx. He pulled her forward with his grip on her throat, silencing her sobs with his mouth. She felt foolish, unable to kiss him back as she cried. Her hands slipped up to his hair, tugging at the soft curls.
Before Theia knew it, her legs were slipping out from under her as her back hit the mattress. He was kissing her tears, his hand running over her stomach. The sensation of the pain in her chest and the curling warmth in her stomach was too much. Theia wanted Nyx so badly but she felt as though she were cheating the fates. The power in the universe was trying to tear them apart, but she clung to him like a lifeline.
Nyx's hand was slipping into the soft fabric of her undergarments, one fingers stroking the very center of her. Her back arched but her cries didn't cease. Maybe it was the overwhelming show of his love, she didn't know. His mouth was on hers again, swallowing her sobs and moans as he pumped fingers into her. Theia's nails dug into his scalp, making him moan against her tongue.
Her hips rode against his hand as her sobs became strangled moans. She didn't know how he knew the right way to bring her back into the present rather than the whirling depths of her mind, but Theia was grateful. She focused on him rather than what had been on her mind before. His fingers slid out of her as his mouth pulled away. His tongue was replaced by his wet fingers as he worked on tearing the fabric from her core and himself.
She felt him position himself between her thighs, his tip stroking her. Theia shuddered, bucking her hips for more. A gasp tore from her when his wet fingers wrapped around her throat again, lifting her head as Nyx plunged his length to the hilt. She felt so full so fast, unable to stretch around him before he was thrusting hard and fast. Her head was thrown back, a loud cry tearing from her chest as pleasure tore through her. His hot breath was on her jaw and ear, his own moans bringing her more and more into his mercy.
"You're mine, Theia. Isn't that right?" His teeth scraped her jaw as he let out another moan, matching her shouts of pleasure. She tried to answer him, but it came out as a strangled whimper. A hand slipped around her waist and to the center of her back, fingers stroking the sensitive flesh between her wings as her covered breasts pressed into the fine dusting of hair on his chest.
He had always been skilled with pleasure, but Theia was entirely limp. She could hardly bring her legs around his hips without the burning heat flashing through her stomach. All she could do was take it; that and claw his neck and scalp as moans of gibberish fell from her lips.
"Answer me," Nyx growled, a particularly harsh thrust making her feel as though he had split her in two. "Who the fuck do you belong to?"
"You!" Theia cried, feeling the pressure building low. Nyx moaned against the skin of her jaw, his lips and teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.
"Who else?"
Confusion hit her for a moment, blurred by the coming high that was almost too blinding. A squeak left her as she tried to say something else, but he had angled their hips up, and he felt far deeper than ever before. Each exhale was smothered with a moan. Theia tore his head back with the grip on his hair. Nyx met her gaze, his jaw clenched as he groaned, hips beginning to jerk. Theia felt herself clench around him, her thighs trembling on his hips.
"Myself," she finally answered, her mouth falling open in a silent cry. The wave of pleasure hit her hard, her entire back arching around Nyx's hand, the muscles of her wings, thighs, and arms tightening as stars hit her vision. Nyx followed behind, a growl in his throat when he kissed her bottom lip. He didn't pull out of her when his weight pressed her into the bed, their chests heaving. His hand slipped from her throat to her hair as he kissed her gently, a complete opposite of what he had just been.
"Good girl," he murmured against her lips. Pride exploded in her chest at the praise, but also the insinuation. She may be his in every way, but she controlled herself, too. It was just herself and Nyx, nobody else. They were the only ones she had to worry about. It didn't matter what kind of past they had or what others did or said because of her. It was just them, now and for eternity.