Zim felt his squeedly spooch churn dreadfully at the question, a part of him knowing it'd come soon.
His antenna drooped, and he found his throat closing up, not allowing any words to be spoken.
He found himself with a scowling expression as he began to wonder how to reply.
Zim sat silently for what felt like hours, his mind replaying all the things that happened, making him feel weird.
The irken didn't want to tell Dib, he'd probably throw him out right then and there, and Zim wouldn't blame him.
The human had been trying to stop him since he'd arrived, Dib would probably be furious, spending so much time trying to solve a problem just to find out it didn't matter.
He shook himself for even considering the idea of the two being alike, he was a superior irken, and the other was an inferior human.
But something still urged him to not go and destroy the little peace between them, and it made him even angrier.
He didn't care about the human, he didn't, so why was part of him wanting this moment of peace to last longer than just a few hours?
Zim internally hissed at himself, finding all of this sickening, he hated lies, but he still opted to use them anyway.
".. Nothing" The alien choked out, his voice low and uncertain, not maintaining any form of eye contact with Dib.
"Oh cmon, you know that isn't true." Dib pushed, his tone a bit more agitated as he lightly placed his hand on Zims shoulder.
He hissed in retaliation, slapping the humans hand away, his antenna pressed glad against his head.
He squinted down, knowing that he probably wouldn't get out of this, he wasn't in any shape to fight, and probably couldn't walk back to his base from here either.
Bearing his teeth, the alien grunted his teeth in defeat.
"Fine. Whatever- if you're so pressed about my- what happened, I'll-.. " Zim blurted, voice cracking as he trailed off.
He swallowed, pushing back the urge to just admit he was upset, and wanted comfort, like a defective smeet.
"I'll tell you. " he finished, trying to sound more sure, as if he didn't really care and wasn't affected by anything.
But it failed, and Zim realised he didn't really know where to begin explaining.
The irken took a shaky, quiet but deep breath before he started, admittedly nervous about how this was going to go.
"M-My, er, tallest- Almighty Tallest, " Zim corrected as he began trying to ignore how choked his voice sounded, and how his whole body seemed to tremble slightly.
"Your leaders? " Dib mumbled, seemingly unsure of what to expect next.
"Yes, Almighty Tallest Red and Purple, rulers of the irken empire. " he continued, more confident this time. Talking about his tallest, in a more praising matter, was something he had lots of practice with.
Zim swallowed before continuing, having to focus on actually getting what happened out of his mouth.
"They- I called them, a few, er, days ago. " Zim tried, not sure if he should reveal specific dates.
He could see the humans interest peeking from the corner of his eye, and he turned to face him, recalling back to some of the things he'd learnt over the years, to face someone when you're trying to sound honest.
"They, uhm, well- they acted differently, then I'd expected them too, " he continued, finding himself fiddling with his uniform's collar.
"... I-they, told me some information- About my mission- i-" Zim found himself unable to finish that sentence, as a sudden wave of emotion hit him, and he immediately turned his face opposite to the human.
He felt, without any warning, a hot stream of tears rolling from his face, he didn't even know why he was crying. He shouldn't be, he's an irken, irkens don't cry! Especially not invaders-
Zim didn't finish that line of thought, already knowing what realisations would hit him, as he tried to focus on making it sound like he wasn't crying at all.
"... They- they told me, that my mission, my second chan- my purpose, as an invader-.. Irken invader, was a- a.. " Zim's voice strained and cut as he tried to make sure his voice wouldn't crack, but he of course failed.
He didn't know if Dib noticed his sobs, he hoped he didn't.
Irkens don't cry. Zim doesn't cry! I shouldn't be crying, I'm acting like a smeet, no, even smeets don't cry like this.
The irken forcefully stopped tears flowing from his eyes, aggressively wiping them off his moist face.
He didn't look back up as he continued, though.
"My mission was fake. '' Zim spat, not truly believing the words that slurred out of his mouth, it felt so wrong to even think of this, but here he was, saying it.
Something seemed to break inside of him, not in an aggressive way, not sad, just in an unreal, sort of disconnected way.
It felt unrealistic, fake even, it didn't feel true, but he knew, it was, but something in him still couldn't accept it.
Zim shook his head, slowly, and then turned to face Dib again, preparing to get yelled at, slapped, just anything.
"..what? " the human said, hesitantly as he stared at him.
He found his face distorting into an ashamed, even disappointed expression, feeling guilty for this, he knew, anything and everything that came next, he'd deserve.
But nothing happened, Dib just stared at him, he looked just as disbelieving as he felt, Zim couldn't tell if he was angry, or sad, or both, or none.
A few more moments of silence passed, before Zim came to the conclusion that the human may not know what reaction was correct for this situation.
"You can attack me now, or yell, or whatever you do when you're extremely mad. " The irken offered, quietly, trying to give Dib a reason to break the silence, or just something other than the dreadful silence.
"What? Why would i- I mean, I'm mad and confused, and you're my arch nemesis- but I wont- I won't attack you, yelling, maybe later. But right now? I don't want to gather attention from anyone in my household. " Dib fumbled over his words for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by Zim's allowance.
Now Zim was the one to look surprised, he had honestly expected him to slap him, or just do something, isn't that what you do when you're mad?
Especially after finding out you were trying to save the world, putting all your effort into it-just to find out he was never a threat, most irkens would probably want to have his head on a stick if he'd done that to them.
Seeming to notice something more than just his surprised expression, Dib began to speak.
"Look- how about we just go to sleep for now, we'll talk about this more in the morning. Since you'r-.. Since I'm getting tired. " The human quickly added, almost trailing off, as he began to move the medic kit off his bed.
Zim nodded, hating to admit it, that he was tired too. He shouldn't be, he's had well over his monthly recharge needs, he really needed to have a look at his PAK.
Shaking off his train of thought, he looked around before realising there was only one bed.
"Er.. Where are you going to sleep? " The irken questioned, glancing at Dib.
He gave Zim a quizzical expression for a moment.
"On my bed? " He answered, gesturing to the bed they both sat on.
His antenna flattened slightly in a defensive position.
"But.. Where will I sleep then? " Zim hesitantly asked, a bit irritated .
Dib seemed to realise something, as he looked to be thinking.
"Well.. I can't let anyone see you, so, I can give you a blanket and pillow and you can sleep under my bed.. ? " The human tried awkwardly, gathering the two objects hastily.
"But- ugh. Fine whatever. " He hissed, feeling this argument wasn't worth it.
The irken snatched the blanket and pillow from Dib, and looked at where he was supposedly going to sleep.
It was surprisingly spacey, for under a bed- it had enough room for him to lay down comfortably without touching the mattress.
Slightly pleased by this, Zim pushed the objects under the bed, before following suit, curling up in the corner side of the beds range.
Before he drifted off, he found himself rethinking how he'd handle the rest of his experiences, and if Dib would lash out to him tomorrow, when he doesn't have his family units around.
The irken didn't get to think about this for long, though, losing his grip on his consciousness, he was pulled into a deep slumber.
Maybe he just needs these extra hours for his injuries.