wrote this as a warmup over like 7 months and now I'm impulsively posting it cause I just got home from a party and I'm trashed
EDIT: I'm sober now and should not have posted this
"Minors! We have a correction for the paperwork last week. Sorry." Dinah tagged on, watching her gaggle of teens-- and also captain marvel-- slump, groaning, against the backs of their shitty non-ergonomic chairs as she dropped a small stack of stapled sheets before them. "Hey, I didn't make the decision. The previous version had 'parent or guardian'. As per our privacy and safety procedure, it should say 'mentor'... Even though it's basically just semantics, and we could have just redacted the names and replaced them with the names of your mentors after the fact." She cast a weary eye at the older members of the League.
"It's legally required." Batman defended. "We need to set an example of ethical employment."
"I'm glad you're perusing the most legal and ethical form of hiring thirteen-to-sixteen-year-olds for labor at 100% less than the national minimum..." She muttered.
Artemis ruffled through the novella of miniscule text. "But hey, what's more convenient for rich people than destroying a rain forest."
"For those of you who don't have a mentor..." Dinah started again, getting around to the uncomfortable part. "Just put down the member of the league you're closest to-- with their consent and signature of course-- team members can just put Tornado or me."
"Cap, you want me to do yours?" Flash asked, twirling a pen-- well more like repeatedly dropping a pen-- and waiting for Wally to slide his document over.
"Oh, sure. I guess we live pretty close." He replied.
"I mean, two states apart, but that's nothing for me." Barry smirked, signing his name at the base of Billy's paper. "I have the contact info for all your people."
"Thanks." Billy Frisbee-d the leaflet across the table. He saw Barry often enough for it to count, and of course he saw Wally pretty often; Wally was cool and seemed to think he was funny, which definitely did good things to Billy's confidences around the teenagers. Wally was always yelling stuff like 'this guy!' and doing rimshots when Billy made jokes, and insisting they team up during games; they'd developed something of a cousin-like relationship.
"Have you-- KF?"
"Yea?"
"Have you seen the new PinkElephant?"
"There's a new one?"
"Yeah!" Robin whipped out his phone and began tapping away. "It's really funny..." He snapped his phone face-down on the table. "Okay! Everyone check the discord."
Dutifully, four off his friends took out their phones, barring Kaldur who was busy reading the fine print of his document and Conner who didn't like being told what to do.
"Oh that one!" Artemis exclaimed, extracting a strand of broken hair that had found its way under her mask. "Yeah that popped up in my feed yesterday but I couldn't watch it cause I was in class."
"You were on your phone during class?" Arrow asked accusatorily.
"You were texting me, genius!" She replied.
"HA! Get got." Wally laughed, staring at his phone, which emitted a low volume chatter. "Oh my gosh! This already SO good!"
"What is it?" Billy asked, craning his neck over.
"There's this youtuber-- ISeePinkElephants-- who makes justice league compilations, chiefly compilations of us, they're so funny. I mean, embarrassing when you're in a clip, but funny when it's someone else."
"Yeah, they've been making compilations since it was just us and Red Arrow." Robin added. "They're stuff's gotten really good, like the editing is so much better quality."
"Yeah, I just wish that they'd manage the volume fluctuations between clips-- sometimes the yelling catches me off guard."
Curiously, Dinah leaned over M'gann's shoulder. "'The Sidekicks Being Agro for 5 minutes and thirty-eight seconds'. I thought you guys didn't like being called sidekicks?"
"Yes, well, we can't help that the public doesn't know our preferences." Kaldur returned, sliding his papers over to his mentor. "Sir? If you wouldn't mind?"
M'gann nodded fervently, watching off Wally's phone even though she had the video pulled up on their own. "Yeah! I'm sure they wouldn't say it if they knew we didn't like it!"
Conner cast Superman a look, but quickly pulled away from the forsaken hope, sliding his paper to Red Tornado; who dutifully printed his signature.
"I must remind Superboy and Ms. Martian that they have an important project due tomorrow."
"Redd!" The martian whined, embarrassed. "We know!"
"I only remind you because you spent last night watching a horror film instead of working."
"We do nothing but work!" They continued. "Let us have fun!"
"We already work more than is legal for minors, we could unionize!"
"Aren't we already a union?" Kid Flash asked. "I mean, isn't that what we made the team for?"
"Yeah, but we've only had like two of our demands met."
Artemis gasped excitedly. "We should strike!"
Kaldur calmly de-capped his bottle and drained it. "Alright!" He clapped his hands together sternly. "That's a discussion to have any other time but now." That got everyone back in line, at least for a moment.