I dream I am in Tetoa, resting in the comfort of my soft bed. I can hear Taika frying fish early in the morning. My mother is outside gathering water from the well. Kiana is asleep across from me in her own bed, snoring softly. A light sea breeze flows through the window, causing the curtains to float ever so slightly. If I listen just carefully enough, I can even hear the ocean waves. Everything is at peace. Everything and everyone in Landiani is behaving just as they should.
"Fetia," I hear Kiana say.
"Fetia," comes Taika's gentle voice now.
"Fetia," Mama says.
I pull the covers closer to me, trying to sink deeper into my mattress. I do not want to wake just yet. I want to lie here forever, in the comfort and safety of my own home.
"Fe."
This time it is Asteria's voice pulling me from the darkness. Her voice alone is enough to jolt me from my dreams. My eyelids lift slowly, and immediately, pain fills my body once more.
It takes me a few moments to recognize my surroundings. My heart sinks to realize I am not in Tetoa, but in Esterpool; however, as I glance around, I realize it is not my bunkbed I am lying in either. I am in Asteria's chambers, positioned comfortably in her bed. Though I heard her voice through my dreams, I do not immediately see her. Through my blurry morning vision, I can see her figure near the doorframe, conversing with who I can only assume are the guards.
Asteria's bed is dangerously cozy. I could sink back into it and sleep forever.
Then, my eyes suddenly widen, seeing Asteria awake. If it's morning, that means I need to dress her! The rush of adrenaline forces me to attempt to sit up, but I am blinded by pain in attempting to do so. I let out a painful gasp and clutch my side. My ribcage aches terribly.
Asteria spins around, seeing me awake.
"Fe!" she exclaims. She mutters something to the guards, and they shut the door behind her, leaving us alone. Quickly, she rushes to my side.
"You mustn't sit up like that, Fe," Asteria chastises. She takes a seat on the edge of the bed and carefully presses her hand against my back, lowering me back down into the pillows. I want to fight her, but I am so weak that it is easy to comply.
Reaching toward the bedside table near me, Asteria grabs a cool towel and presses it against my face. I can tell that without a mirror my eye and cheek are swollen. I wince as Asteria lightly dabs my face, but the coolness of the towel helps alleviate some of the pain.
I slowly grab ahold of Asteria's wrist. She looks down at me in confusion.
"I need to dress you," I say. My voice comes out quiet and weak.
"Absolutely not," Asteria responds sternly. "You are in no condition to do so. I will have Alba dress me later this morning."
My hand falls limply from her wrist back down to my side. Asteria finishes dabbing my face and reaches for some bandages. I wince as she peels back a bandage from my arm that is caked with dried blood. When the damp towels touches my wound, I hiss in pain.
"Bear it for a little while," Asteria says. "The doctor will be here soon."
I groan but make no attempts to stop her.
As Asteria carefully wraps a new bandage around my arm, her voice becomes softer. "Do you remember what happened, Fe?"
"Yes. I think so," I respond. "I returned from dinner last night. Josie, Zofia, Arabelle...they were all waiting for me."
"They did quite the number on you," Asteria says with a frown. "Bruised ribs, black eye, swollen cheek, various cuts and bruises. The doctor said you should be fine with some time to heal, but it was frightful to see. Are you in much pain?"
I groan. "I could feel better."
"Dr. Thornton will administer more medicine later this morning," Asteria says. She clips the bandage from my arm and returns to wiping my face. "He's one of the few doctors in Esterpool, but Alba swears he is one of the best. He has always taken good care of me when I have been ill."
"Asteria," I say, my voice coming out weak and shaky. "Wh-why were you there...at the maids' quarters last night?"
"I had wanted to ask you to go on a walk with me today. I did not have the chance to ask during dinner," Asteria says.
It hurts to chuckle, but I do so anyway. "You fool. You could have asked me when I dressed you the next morning."
"I didn't know if Alba had already packed your schedule full for the day. Besides, I never got to thank you for accompanying me to dinner," Asteria says.
I hum in response. As I sit in silence, letting her take care of me, I find the courage to speak once more.
"Asteria, thank you," I say. I hate saying it. I hate admitting that she saved me, but it is a truth I must bear nonetheless. I inhale a shaky breath. "If you were not there—" Tears begin to well in my eyes.
"Sh, sh," Asteria says, cupping her hand against my non-swollen cheek.
I lift an arm to try to cover my face as I begin to sob. Asteria says nothing, only moves her arm from my cheek to rest on my free hand. She soothingly rubs my hand again, and my hazy memories from the evening before return, of her hand rubbing comfortingly against mine late last evening before I fell asleep.
"Fe," Asteria says concernedly as I continue to cry.
I could easily tell her that my sobs are from the pain. That is what I should tell her. It is what I wish to tell her. I want to remain silent, but instead, I let my fears pour out of me as easily as my tears.
"I do not want to leave Esterpool," I say through my sobs. Though I did not fight back, I am wise enough to know that I will most likely be removed as Asteria's maid going forward. I am sure she does not want someone like me causing drama between the maids she has known and loved over many years. I can imagine the angered look on my mother's face now, and I struggle to cope with the fact that I will soon be a failure in her eyes.
"Fe," Asteria says, her voice more firm. "Be reasonable. I am not going to remove you from Esterpool."
"Huh?" I ask.
"Why would you think this is this your fault, Fe?"
"But, I—"
"Alba has already spoken to the maids at fault, and I will be meeting with them later this afternoon to officially place them on probation. They are more at danger of leaving than you. I intend to make it clear that I will not tolerate any sort of violence while they are serving as my maids, and I certainly will instruct them that you are not to be a target of their hatred any longer," Asteria says firmly.
My tears begin to cease, and I look up at awe at Asteria in front of me. This is the weak-willed princess who was exiled to Esterpool? In my current position, she is putting on much more of a brave face than me.
My bottom lip quivers. "O-Okay. Thank you, Your Majesty."
"Please. I have told you I am merely 'Asteria' to you," she says. Asteria lays the cool towel across my forehead and glances down at me, sighing. "Fe, why did you not tell me the other maids were treating you this way?"
"It was nothing that should have been your concern," I say.
"I wish you had spoken up. I could have prevented this, but I suppose it does not matter now," Asteria says. "Regarding your schedule - Alba has paused all your duties for the time being."
"But—"
Asteria ignores me. "You will still be compensated. And in the meantime, you will remain with me in my chambers until you are healed. We need to let some time for tensions to die down as well."
"What?" I ask in shock. "Asteria, I don't need to—"
"It is what I decreed, so it is what will happen," Asteria says harshly. She reaches for my hand and clutches it once more. "I suppose we cannot go on a walk in the garden for a while, but it is no matter. I want to see you healthy again, and we will have plenty of time to spend together anyway."
A knock sounds at the door, and Asteria tilts her head up.
"Oh. That must be the doctor," she says.
I watch her head toward the door and sink back into her bed, utterly shocked by all that has transpired. Mama will not be thrilled to know that I am injured and unable to complete my maid duties for the time being, but at the same time, would she not be thrilled to know I will be having Asteria to myself for a little while?
Asteria leaves me to dress for the day while Dr. Thornton inspects me. He repeats what Asteria told me in the morning – that I have various injuries to my body, the most serious of which are my bruised ribs, and that it may take a few weeks for me to heal completely, or at least well enough to return to my duties.
"Have the cooks send up some ice each morning from the kitchen so you can ice your wounds. I can relieve some of the pain with medicine, but it will be a slow healing process. Do not lay flat. Try to move around some each day, but at the same time, do nothing too strenuous. You will need to take some deep breaths each hour, too," Dr. Thornton says. He writes down the instructions on a piece of paper, which he leaves with me. He injects me with some sort of pain reliever, and I feel the pain dissipate some as I lay back onto the pillows of Asteria's bed and watch him leave.
The bedroom door opens a few minutes later, and while I anticipate Asteria, Maria enters instead, carrying my breakfast.
"Fe!" Maria exclaims. She gingerly sets the plate of food on the bedside table and kneels next to me. I can already see tears glistening on her cheeks.
"It's okay, Maria. I will be all right," I assure her.
"If only I had been there," Maria says worriedly. "I could have stopped them. I could have—"
"It's not for you to worry about," I say. "The doctor says I will be fine, but it will take a few weeks for me to heal."
"I'm glad," Maria says with relief. "I hope those rotten maids are removed from Esterpool!"
"We'll see," I respond. "The princess says she will be placing them on probation." I am not sure if this is appropriate information to tell Maria, but I figure she will find out soon enough.
"Good! And you? What will you do in the meantime?" Maria asks.
"I am sure Alba will find ways for the others to cover my duties," I say. I pull the bedsheets more closely to my body and tangle my fingers into them. "I will be remaining with the princess until I am given the approval to return back to the maids' quarters."
Maria's eyes widen. "W-What an honor! Though I am not surprised, seeing as you are lying in her bed as we speak."
My cheeks burn. "The princess is kind. She has been taking good care of me," I tell Maria. "If she had not been there to stop the fight, I am not sure what would have happened."
"I am thankful she was there, too," Maria says. "Oh! I brought you your breakfast, Fe, if you are hungry enough to eat, that is."
"Thank you," I say. "I'll eat in a bit."
"I unfortunately have to leave you to go clean up this morning's breakfast," Maria says, standing from her kneeled position beside me. "But I will try to visit as often as I can. I miss you, but I am sure you will be back living as my roommate soon."
"I hope for that, too," I say, smiling. "Thank you again for breakfast, and for checking in on me. I look forward to your visits."
"Heal quickly, Fe," Maria says as she parts.
As she heads out the door to Asteria's bedroom, I hear her mutter a polite "good morning," and then Asteria enters the bedroom, taking Maria's place. She mutters something to Maria that I cannot hear, then finds her way back over to me.
"The doctor says you should try walking a bit. Do you want to try to eating your breakfast near the couches?" Asteria asks me.
"Sure," I agree.
I shift my body more upward and slowly pivot toward the edge of the bed. It pains my chest to do so, but I recognize I cannot lie in Asteria's bed forever. I take a deep breath as my legs dangle over the side of Asteria's bed. I feel her carefully wrap her arm around my back.
"On the count of three, okay?" Asteria says.
I nod.
"One...two...three," she says, helping support my body weight as I stand. My muscles scream in pain, and I cling onto Asteria's side for support, but I'm able to hold my weight at the very least. Still, Asteria keeps a tight arm around me and walks me out of her bedroom and into the main lounging area of her quarters.
I grasp onto her forearm as she helps me sit at one of the couches. While she leaves to fetch the breakfast Maria left for me, I am quick to notice the stack of pillows and delicately folded blankets on the couch opposite of me. Asteria returns with the tray of food a moment later and sets it at the table across from me.
"Thank you," I say. I immediately begin to dig in. I may be in pain, but my appetite is still as vivacious as ever.
"Is it good?" Asteria asks as she sits across from me.
I nod my head. I am sure that I am eating what the princess had for breakfast and not from the mediocre menu that is normally available to the maids. My gaze again shifts to the folded blankets.
"Did you sleep out here?" I ask.
"Oh," Asteria says. "Yes, I did. I wanted to make sure you were comfortable. I don't mind. The couches here are comfortable as well."
"I don't want to force you out of your own bed," I argue. "I can sleep on the couch—"
"It's all right, Fe. I have been known to fall asleep on this couch on many occasions anyway. I am not so fragile that I cannot bear to sleep outside my own bed for a few nights. I will survive," Asteria says. "Your healing is more important."
"If you say so," I murmur as I continue to eat my breakfast.
"I have a few duties to attend to, so I am afraid I cannot keep you company all day," Asteria tells me. "But if you should need anything—"
"Don't worry. I'll be okay. You allowing me to stay here is doing enough as it is."
Asteria nods. "I will send Alba or Maria to help you dress and take a bath a little later in the day. I should return by this evening. We can eat dinner together in my chambers."
"Are you sure? I don't mind you eating in the dining room as you usually do," I say.
Asteria shakes her head. "I don't mind. I do not care for the glam of eating in the dining room most days anyway. It will be refreshing to enjoy my dinner elsewhere this evening." With those words, she rises and gently rests her hand on my shoulder. "Please call for me if you need anything, Fe."
"Thank you," I say.
I feel almost sorrowful watching her go. I have experienced bouts of loneliness during my time in Esterpool so far, but nothing compares to the pang in my chest as she exits through the door. When I was younger, my mother or Taika were always there to comfort me when I was sick or injured. Now, I have no one. It is more isolating of an experience than I imagined.
I finish my breakfast and take small laps around Asteria's chamber until I grow tired. Thankfully, Alba arrives within the hour to draw me a bath and get me into some more comfortable clothing. I have never used the princess's bathing area before, but it is much more luxurious than what the maids are accustomed to, and the water gets even warmer than our bath back at the maids' quarters.
Though I blush from my nakedness as Alba helps me into bath, the water feels amazing on my sore body, and I remain in the bathtub until the water becomes cold. I expect Alba to be upset with me for the drama I caused, but she says nothing and merely maintains quiet as she helps me put on a lighter, less restricting gown that will not worsen my injuries. Asteria must be acting strictly toward her. I would have expected Alba to lecture me on not taking advantage of Asteria's kindness by now.
"Does that feel better?" Alba asks once I am dressed.
"Yes," I say.
I weakly return back to the couch to sit down.
"The princess should return this evening. Dinner will be sent up for the two of you," Alba says once I am comfortable. She heads toward the door, then turns back toward me and pauses. I can see her collecting her thoughts in her head. "I hope you heal quickly, Fe. And I am sorry for what happened."
I am astonished by her words given how cold Alba usually appears, but I thank her nonetheless.
It is difficult to pass the time in Asteria's absence. I mainly let myself get lost in my thoughts, and at various points, find myself dozing off on the comfortable couches in her chambers. Thankfully, as the sun sets, Asteria returns. She immediately resumes the role of my caretaker and helps get me comfortably situated for dinner.
Though this is the perfect opportunity to pry information, I make no effort to. My body is weak and my mind is tired, so I merely eat my meal beside her and enjoy her company, figuring there will be more time to converse with her later when I have healed some. She asks me about my day; I ask about hers. When I mention my boredom, she offers to bring me books from her library located in the lower floor of the estate. I agree and thank her wholeheartedly.
After Dr. Thornton returns in the evening to administer more pain medicine, I find my eyes growing droopy as I sit across from Asteria on the couch.
"Are you ready to sleep, Fe?" she asks.
I nod slowly.
Once again, she crouches by my side and wraps a delicate arm around me to help me stand. I have grown a little more sure in my footing during the day, but I admit that it feels nice to be pampered, and Asteria is so gentle with me that I let her do whatever she likes. This must be what the royal treatment is like, I think. All day I have been spoiled and fed luxurious foods. I see how easy it would be to fall victim to this lifestyle, and though I have enjoyed my taste of it, I know better than to let myself be blinded by the treatment I am receiving.
I walk with Asteria back towards her bed. She pulls back the covers as I crawl in and carefully adjusts the pillows to help me lay more upright with my injuries.
"Are you sure you are okay with me taking your bed?" I ask again. "I can certainly sleep on the couch. I've already dozed off on it a few times today while you were gone."
"I don't mind," Asteria says firmly. She pulls the covers up over my body and gently tucks them against me. I sink comfortably into her mattress, feeling sleep pull at me from all sides. Asteria's palm cups my cheek before she parts.
"Good night, Fe. I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow," she says.
I let out a loud yawn and stare at her through half-lidded eyes. "Good night," I say.
I remain awake to watch her leave the bedroom. She turns off the lamp near the bedside, trapping the room in darkness. As my body slowly begins to drift off to sleep, I think of how delicately I was treated today, and a new fear arises within me when I think of how I will be betraying Asteria in a short amount of time.