THEY NEARLY GET STRETCHED
It was Annabeth's idea.
She loaded them into the back of a Vegas taxi as if they actually had money, and told the driver. "Los Angeles, please."
The cabbie chewed his cigar and sized them up. "That's three hundred miles. For that, you gotta pay up front."
"You accept casino debit cards?" Annabeth asked.
He shrugged. "Some of' em. Same as credit cards. I gotta swipe 'em through, first."
Annabeth handed him her green Lotus Cash card. He looked at it sceptically.
"Swipe it." Annabeth invited.
He did. His meter machine started rattling. The lights flashed. Finally an infinity symbol came up next to the dollar sign.The cigar fell out of the driver's mouth.
He looked back at them, his eyes wide. "Where to in Los Angeles... uh, Your Highness?"
"The Santa Monica pier." Annabeth sat up a little straighter. Anyone could tell she liked the 'Your Highness' thing. "Get us there fast, and you can keep the change."
Maybe she shouldn't have told him that. The cab's speedometer never dipped below ninety-five the whole way through the Mojave Desert.
On the road, they had plenty of time to talk. Percy told them about his latest dream, but the details got sketchier the more he tried to remember them.
The Lotus Casino seemed to have short-circuited his memory. He couldn't recall what the invisible servant's voice.
"The Silent One?" Annabeth suggested. "The Rich One? Both of those are nicknames for Hades?"
"Maybe..." he said.
"That throne room sounds like Hades's" Grover said. "That's the way it's usually described."
"Something's wrong. The throne room wasn't the main part of the dream. And that voice from the pit... I don't know. It just didn't feel like a god's voice?"
Annabeth's and Ariana's eyes widened. Could the voice in his dreams be a Titan?
"What?" Percy asked.
"Oh... nothing. I was just - No, it has to be Hades. Maybe he sent this thief, this invisible person, to get the master bolt and something went wrong -" Annabeth tried to say.
"Like what?"
"I don't know." she said. "But if he stole Zeus's symbol of power from Olympus, and the gods were hunting him, I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. So this thief had to hide the bolt, or he lost it somehow. Anyway, he failed to bring it to Hades. That's what the voice said in your dream, right? The guy failed. That would explain what the Furies were searching for when they came after us on the bus. Maybe they thought we had retrieved the bolt."
She looked pale. Ariana knew she was thinking the exact same thing as her.
"But if I'd already retrieved the bolt." Percy said,
"Why would I be travelling to the Underworld?"
"To threaten Hades." Ariana said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Grover suggested. "To bribe or blackmail him into getting your mom back?"
Percy whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat."
"Why, thank you!"
"But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items." Percy said. "If the master bolt is one, what's the other?"
Grover shook his head, clearly mystified. Annabeth was looking at him as if she knew Percys next question, and was silently willing him not to ask it.
Ariana adverted her eyes away from Percy, instead she stared out of the window.
"You two an idea what might be in that pit, don't you?" He asked them. "I mean, if it isn't Hades?"
Ariana was about to speak but Annabeth beat her too it.
"Percy... let's not talk about it. Because if it isn't Hades... No. It has to be Hades."
Wasteland rolled by. They passed a sign that said: CALIFORNIA STATE LINE, 12 MILES.
"The answer is in the Underworld." Ariana assured him. "You saw spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place that could be. We're doing the right thing."
The cab sped west. Every gust of wind through Death Valley sounded like a spirit of the dead. Every time the brakes hissed on an eighteen-wheeler, it reminded Ariana of Echidna's reptilian voice.
At sunset, the taxi dropped them at the beach in Santa Monica. It looked exactly the way L.A. beaches do in the movies, only it smelled worse.
There were carnival rides lining the pier, palm trees lining the sidewalks, homeless guys sleeping in the sand dunes and surfer dudes waiting for the perfect wave.
Grover, Annabeth, Ariana and Percy walked down to the edge of the surf.
"What now?" Annabeth asked.
The Pacific was turning gold in the setting sun. Percy stepped into the surf.
"Percy?" Annabeth said. "What are you doing?"
He kept walking, up to his waist, then his chest.
She called after him, "You know how polluted that water is? There're all kinds of toxic -"
That's when his head went under.
"Relax. Hes fine." Ariana told them. "Besides when I went down with him I could breathe and he could."
"I wanted to speak to you about something." Annabeth said.
Ariana crossed her arms, trying to warm herself up. "About what?"
"When we were in the van. You said you could hear the zebra speak?"
Ariana nodded. "So did Percy."
"Ari." Annabeth. Her voice turned soft. "Both you and Percy can breathe under water and you can understand horses."
"So?" She shrugged. "And technically I had a bubble around my head allowing me to breathe."
"Well. What if Poseidon is apart of your family tree?"
"Are you saying he's my father?" She laughed at the mere thought of being related to Percy. "There is no way I am related to Percy, he doesn't have a single brain cell Annabeth."
Annabeth shrugged. "I don't know."
When Percy reached the beach, he told Grover, Ariana and Annabeth what had happened, and showed them the pearls.
Annabeth grimaced. "No gift comes without a price."
"They were free."
"No." She shook her head. "There is no such thing as a free lunch. That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait"
On that happy thought, they turned our backs on the sea.
With some spare change from Ares's backpack, we took the bus into West Hollywood. Percy showed the driver the Underworld address slip he had taken from Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium, but he'd never heard of DOA Recording Studios.
"You remind me of somebody I saw on TV." he told him. "You a child actor or something?"
"Uh... I'm a stunt double... for a lot of child actors."
"Oh! That explains it?"
They thanked him and got off quickly at the next stop. They wandered for miles on foot, looking for DOA. Nobody seemed to know where it was. It didn't appear in the phone book.
Twice, they ducked into alleys to avoid cop cars.
Percy froze in front of an appliance store window because a television was playing an interview with somebody.
A fake tear glistened on his cheek. He was saying. "Honest, Ms Walters, if it wasn't for Sugar here, my grief counsellor. I'd be a wreck. My stepson took everything I cared about. My wife... my Camaro... I - I'm sorry. I have trouble talking about it."
"There you have it, America." Barbara Walters turned to the camera. "A man torn apart. An adolescent boy with serious issues. Let me show you, again, the last known photo of this troubled young fugitive, taken a week ago in Denver!"
The screen cut to a grainy shot of Percy, Annabeth, Grover and Ariana standing outside the Colorado diner, talking to Ares.
"Who are the other children in this photo?" Barbara Walters asked dramatically. "Who is the man with them? Is Percy Jackson a delinquent, a terrorist, or perhaps the brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult? When we come back, we chat with a leading child psychologist. Stay tuned, America."
'C'mon." Grover told Percy.
He hauled him away before Percy could punch a hole in the appliance-store window. It got dark, and hungry-looking characters started coming out on the streets to play.
They walked past gangbangers, bums and street hawkers, who looked at them like they were trying to figure if they were worth the trouble of mugging.
As they hurried past the entrance of an alley, a voice from the darkness said, "Hey, you."
Like an idiot, Percy stopped.
Before they knew it, they were surrounded. A gang of kids had circled them. Six of them in all - white kids with expensive clothes and mean faces.
Instinctively, Percy uncapped Riptide.
When the sword appeared out of nowhere, the kids backed off, but their leader was either really stupid or really brave, because he kept coming at Percy with a switchblade.
He made the mistake of swinging.
The kid yelped. But he must've been one hundred percent mortal, because the blade passed harmlessly right through his chest.
He looked down. "What the.."
Ariana figured they had about three seconds before his shock turned to anger.
"Run!" She screamed at Annabeth.
They pushed two kids out of the way and raced down the street, not knowing where they were going. they turned a sharp corner.
"There!" Annabeth shouted.
Only one store on the block looked open, its windows glaring with neon. The sign above the door said something like:
CRSTUY'S WATREBDE ALPACE.
"Crusty's Waterbed Palace?" Grover translated.
It didn't sound like a place Ariana ever go except in an emergency, but this definitely qualified.
They burst through the doors, ran behind a waterbed, and ducked. A split second later, the gang kids ran past outside.
"I think we lost them." Grover panted.
A voice behind them boomed, "Lost who?"
They all jumped.
Standing behind them was a guy who looked like a raptor in a leisure suit. He was at least two metres tall, with absolutely no hair.
He had grey leathery skin, thick-lidded eyes, and a cold reptilian smile. He moved towards them slowly, but Ariana got the feeling he could move fast if he needed to.
His suit might've come from the Lotus Casino. It belonged back in the seventies, big time. The shirt was silk paisley, unbuttoned halfway down his hairless chest.
The lapels on his velvet iacket were as wide as landing strips. The silver chains around his neck - Ariana couldn't even count them.
"I'm Crusty." he said, with a tartar-yellow smile.
Ariana resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.
"Sorry to barge in." Percy told him. "We were just, um, browsing."
"You mean hiding from those no-good kids." he grumbled. "They hang around every night. I get a lot of people in here, thanks to them. Say, you want to look at a waterbed?"
Ariana was about to say No, thanks, when he put a huge paw on her shoulder and steered her deeper into the showroom.
There was every kind of waterbed you could imagine: different kinds of wood, different patterns of sheets; queen-size, king-size, emperor-of-the-universe-size.
"This is my most popular model." Crusty spread his hands proudly over a bed covered with black satin sheets, with built-in Lava Lamps on the headboard. The mattress vibrated, so it looked like oil-flavoured jelly.
"Million-hand massage." Crusty told them. "Go on, try it out. Shoot, take a nap. I don't care. No business today, anyway."
"Um." Percy said, "I don't think."
"Million-hand massage!" Grover cried, and dived in. "Oh, you guys! This is cool!"
"Hmm." Crusty said, stroking his leathery chin. "Almost, almost."
"Almost what?" Ariana asked.
He looked at Annabeth and Percy. "Do me a favour and try this one over here, honey. Might fit."
Percy had no problem getting onto the bed.
Annabeth said, "But what-"
He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder and led her over to the Safari Deluxe model with teakwood lions carved into the frame and a leopard-patterned bedspread.
When Annabeth didn't want to lie down, Crusty pushed her.
"Hey!" she protested.
Crusty snapped his fingers. "Ergo."
Ropes sprang from the sides of the bed, lashing around Annabeth and Percy, holding them to the mattress.
Grover tried to get up, but ropes sprang from his black-satin bed, too, and lashed him down.
Ariana was frozen, unsure of what she should do next.
"Not cool!" Grover yelled, his voice vibrating from the million-hand massage. "Not cool at all!"
The giant looked at Percy and Annabeth, then turned towards Ariana and grinned. "Almost, darn it."
She tried to step away, but his hand shot out and clamped around the back of her neck. "Whoa, kid. Don't worry. We'll find you one in a sec."
"Let my friends go." Ariana protested.
"Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first."
"What do you mean?"
"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
Annabeth Percy and Grover kept struggling.
"Can't stand imperfect measurements." Crusty muttered. "Ergo!"
A new set of ropes leaped out from the top and bottom of the beds, wrapping around Grover, Percy and Annabeth's ankles, then around their armpits. The ropes started tightening, pulling her friends from both ends.
"Don't worry." Crusty told her. "These are stretching jobs. Maybe eight extra centimetres on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?"
"Ariana!" Grover yelled.
Her mind was racing. She knew she couldn't take on this giant waterbed salesman alone. He would snap her neck before she ever got my sword out.
"Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" Ariana asked, trying to stall him long enough so that she could make a plan.
"Legally, it's Procrustes." he admitted.
"The Stretcher." She said. She remembered the story: the giant who'd tried to kill Theseus with over-hospitality on his way to Athens.
"Yeah," the salesman said. "But who can pronounce 'Procrustes'? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty', anybody can say that."
"You're right. It's got a good ring to it." Ariana agreed.
His eyes lit up. "You think so?"
"Oh, absolutely." She said. "And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!"
He grinned hugely, but his fingers didn't loosen on her neck. "I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built-in Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?"
"Not too many."
"That's right!"
"Ariana!" Annabeth yelled. "What are you doing?"
"Don't mind her." Ariana told Procrustes. "She's impossible."
The giant laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And then they complain about the fitting."
"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?"
"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix"
He let go of Ariana's neck, but before she could react, he reached behind a nearby sales desk and brought out a huge double-bladed brass axe.
He said, "I just centre the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end!"
"Ah." She said, swallowing hard. "Sensible!"
"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!"
The ropes were really stretching her friends now. Annabeth was turning pale. Grover made gurgling sounds like a strangled goose. And Percy, well, he was just being Percy.
"So, Crusty..." she said, trying to keep her voice light. She glanced at the sales tag on the valentine-shaped Honeymoon Special. "Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
"Absolutely. Try it out."
"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"
"Guaranteed."
"No way."
"Way."
"Show me!" She grinned.
He sat down eagerly on the bed, patted the mattress. "No waves. See?"
Ariana snapped her fingers. "Ergo."
Ropes lashed around Crusty and flattened him against the mattress.
"Hey!" he yelled.
"Centre him just right." She said.
The ropes readjusted themselves at her command. Crusty's whole head stuck out the top. His feet stuck out the bottom.
"No!" he said. "Wait! This is just a demo!"
She brought out her sword. "A few simple adjustments.."
"You drive a hard bargain." he told Ariana. "I'll give you thirty percent off on selected floor models!"
"I'm alright thanks for the offer. I think I'll start with the top." She raised her sword.
"No money down! No interest for six months!"
She swung the sword. Crusty stopped making offers. Ariana cut the ropes on the other beds.
Annabeth, Percy and Grover got to their feet, groaning and wincing and cursing her a lot.
"You look taller." Joked Ariana.
"Very funny." Annabeth said. "Be faster next time."
Ariana looked at the bulletin board behind
Crusty's sales desk. There was an advertisement for Hermes Delivery Service, and another for the All-New Compendium of L.A. Area Monsters -
'The only Monstrous Yellow Pages you'll ever need!'
Under that, a bright orange flier for DOA Recording Studios, offering commissions for heroes' souls. 'We are always looking for new talent!' DOA's address was right underneath with a map.
"Come on." Ariana told her friends.
"Give us a minute." Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death!"
"Then you're ready for the Underworld." She said. "It's only a block from here. And besides I got thrown off a building and thrown into the sea. I think you'll live."