Isabella
Stepping off the elevator into Harry's apartment, I can't help but glance back and make sure he's following. Of course he is. He bends down to let Rory off her leash, letting her explore the apartment.
His lip stopped bleeding, so did his nose. He didn't want me to fuss over him, but I was just trying to be helpful. It's my fault he even got hurt, if it wasn't for me Chris wouldn't hate him.
Harry wanted to go to his place to be safe. He didn't want to risk Christian coming back and trying to start shit again. We brought the food from my place, even though I'm not that hungry anymore. Even the thought of eating right now makes me feel a bit sick.
"Go sit down, I'll put this away and bring you some water." He kisses my head as I nod, and he walks further into the house toward the kitchen. I guess he's not hungry either.
Sitting down on his couch, I pull my knees up to my chest. Harry put his sweatshirt back on before we left since he didn't have any other clothes, even though he tried to offer it to me. I just threw on the first shirt and sweatpants I could find, not caring anymore.
Resting my chin on my knees, I stare forward into space, not quite sure what emotions I'm feeling. I think it's mostly shame. Harry was never supposed to see anything like that.
A blanket is wrapped around my shoulders and a kiss is placed on the back of my head. I don't look back, just knowing it's Harry. Who else would it be at this time?
When he comes around the couch, he sits right next to me. I let him pull me into his side, resting my head against his chest as I hold the blanket right around my body. Rory comes up to sit with us on the couch.
"Melissa is asleep in the guest room. I don't want to wake her." He mumbles, resting his cheek against my head.
"Okay." I whisper back, just trying to get my mind off what happened in the apartment. I know Harry though. He's gonna want to talk about it. He's not just gonna move on from Chris hurting me.
We're quiet for a moment, not really knowing what to say to each other. Finally he breaks it. "Are you sure you don't want medical attention? Someone can come here, it could be off the record. Just to make sure you're okay."
"Harry, I'm fine. I told you, I don't want to see a doctor,"
"They won't ask you what happened..."
"Harry, they don't have to. I just don't want to see a doctor. Please..."
"Okay." He sighs, kissing the top of my head again. "Has he done this to you since we've been seeing each other? Since you left the club?"
I shake my head, picking at the fuzz on the blanket. "No. I hadn't even seen him since I quit the club before today."
"And the texting?"
"He started messaging me a few weeks ago... The beginning of the month. I ignored him for as long as I could before I just told him to stop contacting me and leave me alone. I hadn't heard from him in a week so I thought it was over..."
"Did anyone know? Kat? Anyone?"
I shake my head, "No. I just didn't want to worry anyone."
"You should've told me baby... I would've helped you. The second you told me he was trying to come back into your life I would've put a stop to it."
"H, I've known him for so long. I just figured it would go away. I didn't want anyone to know and then start freaking out and monitoring me-"
"We only are trying to look out for you Isabella. We care about you and don't want anything bad to happen to you. If something would've happened in that room and I was on the other side of the door... I'd never forgive myself."
Tears pool in my eyes. He pulls me closer into his side, discreetly sniffling. "I'm okay, Harry. I'm safe." I slip my hand into his, squeezing it softly.
He kisses me again, as if kissing me in some form is his way of assuring himself that I'm here and okay. I brush my thumb against his hand, trying to help soothe him.
"Was he always like this?" He whispers, but he doesn't sound like he wants to know the answer.
It takes me a second to figure out if I even want to answer him. I could use the contract cop out, but I think we're too far in for that to be considered useful. I could lie and tell him something to ease his worries, but we'd both know it's a lie. Chris was too comfortable hitting me and strangling me for it to have been the first time.
So instead of lying or not answering him, I decided it's time to lay it all out there.
"Not in the beginning. I can't remember much of the middle, but once I got sober I noticed it more." He shakes his head, closing his eyes as if my words pain him, but I continue. "Usually when he would do that, he would apologize after and say he was drunk or messed up on whatever drug he could think of first. It was a lie, but I tried to believe him."
"Hurting a woman is the most cowardly thing you could do as a man. Especially to a woman you claim to love." He sounds disgusted and so fucking hurt.
"I don't know if he ever loved me. I think he said he did. Maybe there was a little while that he meant it. He would always say that he was my family. I believed him for what it's worth, but I didn't have anyone else."
"You have me." He whispers. "You have Katerina, you have Rory. You have family, Isabella."
I shrug, "He found me at my lowest. I didn't have a family. My parents were dead, I was basically living out of my car. He made me feel like I had someone again. That I wasn't alone."
"Isabella..." He whispers, his voice full of hurt as I just finally tell him my story. There's no point in keeping it from him anymore.
"My parents died when I was sixteen. I moved in with some distant cousins that lived in the city, but they didn't care if I was home or not. So when they got me a car, I just left whenever I wanted. I hated being in their house and getting those fucking looks of pity. I was a reckless driver, but I just didn't care anymore. Then Chris came into the picture."
I sigh softly when I remember back to when Christian and I met. "I was out late, probably somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. My depression was really bad, but nobody around me noticed enough to get me any help. They just thought I was a moody sixteen year old. The guy I was talking to at the time brought me to a club, snuck me in. And that's the night I met Chris. He bought me a drink, gave me my first cigarette. We got together like every day after that."
"You were sixteen? How old was he?" He asks, shaking his head.
I'm quiet for a second, picking at my nails. "Twenty one. I thought it was cool and he would always sneak me into bars and clubs. He bought my drinks and for a while that was the only time I was happy. Getting fucked up in clubs with him, having sex in dirty bathrooms or in the backseat of my car. My grades plummeted, but everyone just looked the other way because my parents died and they didn't know how to approach me. By senior year I was shooting heroin in Chris' apartment and snorting coke. Taking whatever pills he would put in my mouth. I was so fucking desperate not to feel."
Some tears fall down my cheeks. It's hard reliving this moment in my life. Remembering how low I was. Harry wipes my tears gently, listening as I continue.
"After I graduated, I moved in with him. My cousins kicked me out because they weren't getting checks from the state anymore and I was eighteen. Almost eighteen, at least. I had gotten into college by the skin of my teeth and I tried to get my head in it. I was probably sober for like the first week. Anything after that was just a blur really. And as soon as I turned eighteen, Chris brought up the gentleman's club scene and I needed the money."
"Did your parents leave anything to you after they passed?"
I nod. "There was a trust put in place. I wasn't allowed to gain access to the money until I was twenty one, though. I wanted my own money for alcohol and drugs, so I started stripping. Everything I was making was going back to dealers. I didn't find out until later that Chris was never getting fucked up. He would pretend he was at the same level I was, but he wasn't. He just wanted me vulnerable because as long as I was vulnerable, he had control over me. He was my family. I liked letting him take care of me. I liked not having to think about anything but the next drink or the next line."
That's why I let my addiction get so bad. It was the only time I wasn't reliving the crash or feeling guilty that I survived and my parents didn't. Chris didn't ask any questions, but he also was there for me when I would break down to him.
"I think I would've ended up addicted no matter what. Whether it was Chris or some other shady guy that wanted to take advantage of me. Sometimes I think Christian really did care at first. That he loved me and we had something real. I think when I started working in the clubs and Jezebel became a thing , that's when he changed."
"But you got sober, Bellie. And even then, it's understandable how you ended up where you did. None of that is your fault."
I shrug, "I could've gotten help. I pushed away my friends. I stopped dancing."
"You lost your parents. You were there when the accident happened. That's a big deal, Isabella. You were too young and you were reacting. Christian is the one who took advantage of you. He knew your age and still took advantage knowing very well that what he was doing was illegal. He should be in prison for what he did to you."
Deep down, I know he's right. I couldn't imagine dating a nineteen year old right now, and I was even younger than that when we first met. Still, I carry this guilt with me that this was all my fault. Like Chris did nothing wrong.
"Kat and my childhood friend Maude held like an intervention for me when things were getting really bad. I almost overdosed and they found out that Chris just let me ride it out instead of getting me medical attention. He was too scared he would get questioned and arrested since he brought the drugs. They begged me to get clean for about a year before I finally went to rehab. It was so fucking hard, but I did it. I got clean, I moved out of Chris' place, and Brynn and I got the apartment. But even after I got sober, I thought that Chris and I could make it work. I loved him. He was my family."
Harry just listens, knowing I need to just get it all off my chest. "I never told anyone this..." I hesitate, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. "Chris hated the club I was working at. He was jealous of the owner and the guys that would come. They would touch me in ways that they shouldn't have but nobody would do or say anything to stop them. He told me he wanted to build his own club just for me. So he could protect me. The only problem was that he didn't have the funds."
He can already see where this is going, shaking his head with his eyes closed.
"I was still fucked up when I got my trust. My parents had so much saved up and suddenly it was all mine. He convinced me that it was my idea to give him access to the money. He fed me lies that the club was mine and after a few years we'd recoup the money spent. Once I got sober I felt so ashamed that I let him take the money my parents left for me, but it was too late. He was already working on Afterlife and because I was in rehab, he put everything in his name."
"I'll get you lawyers, we can fight this."
"There's nothing we can do, H. There was nothing written down and I wasn't sober. They'll just say I made it all up."
"We'll get him on something else, then. Him being predator, him assaulting you. Anything."
I rest my cheek against his chest, playing with his fingers in my lap. "I don't know, H. I feel like just moving on and putting this all in my past. I can't afford the years of litigation that comes with everything. Maude tried to convince me to take legal action against him when I first got sober, her family are like all super high profile lawyers, but I can't afford it and at the end of the day they probably won't even take me seriously because of my addiction."
"I can afford them. I can afford the best of the best. I can afford the years of litigation. Just say the word and it's yours. Anything you need to get justice, Isabella."
"I can't let you do that, H. It's too much."
He tilts my chin up to look at him, his eyes so soft and earnest. "I want to help you. You have been through more than most people could ever imagine and you're here and you're breathing and you're trying to do better. You're sober. You're breathtakingly beautiful. I want to help you because you deserve to be free of this burden. You shouldn't be scared to open your own front door."
I sigh, looking down at our hands as I twirl his rings around his fingers. "I don't know..."
He kisses my forehead, putting his cheek over the spot he kissed. "Think about it. The offer will always be there." He sighs, letting me do whatever I want. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, Bellie. You deserved so much better. I'm sorry so many people failed you."
I shrug. "It built character." I joke, trying to lighten the mood again. Glancing up to him, I try to crack a smile to show him that I'll be okay. "I'm sorry I ruined tonight."
"You didn't ruin anything. Like I said before, I like seeing more pieces of you."
"Well you got a lot of fucked up pieces tonight, that's for sure."
I can feel his smile against my forehead. "I like those the most. All those fucked up pieces made you the woman you are today. You might not see it yet, but you're stronger because of them. And I'm really glad that Ottilie has a woman like you in her life that she can look up to."
"Thank you, H." I whisper, my heart fluttering in my chest. Tilting my head up toward him, I kiss him. He's delicate with me, but at the same time, this kiss feels more intense than any other we've shared.
I know I'm too deep into this. We've let our guard down with each other, broken so many rules we made to protect ourselves. I don't know how he got through the thick walls I had built around myself, but he did.
We talk for another hour about Chris and how I finally left him. At the end of the day, I'm glad that I can say that I ended things with Christian. I saw how toxic it was and I fought hard to get out of it. Harry believed in me, Kat believed in me, and I just needed to believe in myself.
He carries me to the bedroom, Rory following along curiously at his feet. Tomorrow I have to be up somewhat early for work, so Harry promises to wake me up if I need the extra push. As I get comfortable in bed, he goes to check on Ottie one more time.
Rory jumps up into his bed, getting cozy next to me. I give her plenty of pets and kisses as we wait for Harry to come back. When he enters the room again, he watches us from the doorway with a small smile.
When he climbs into bed and gets under the covers, I cuddle right into his side. He holds me tight to him, kissing my cheek gently.
"Sleep, love. I'll be here to keep you safe from all the monsters and bad dreams."
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we finally all know bellie's story. my sweet girl has been through hell and back but is still here fighting.
gab