I open my eyes
I am in New York
I look at my watch
9pm
I look on my right, I see Molly and Tom
I look on my left, I see Sophie
We are walking
MOLLY: So, Julian and the others are already at the party, and I heard that Claire is going to be there as well. With her new boyfriend. Oh, I can't wait to see what he looks like.
TOM: God I hate Claire.
ME: Me too.
SOPHIE: Me three.
I laugh
MOLLY: Oh no! Now come on guys, Claire is a nice person.
TOM: We are not saying she isn't.
SOPHIE: No, it has nothing to do with her being nice or mean. It's just...
ME: We just don't like her.
TOM: Yeah no, we hate her.
We all laugh
TOM: Hey Lina, isn't that the hotel where you were staying last month?
We all look in that direction
I see a giant hotel
Super fancy
Way too fancy
Did I really stay in that kind of hotel last month?
Wait
ME: Wait, did I?
They all look at me
Now I remember
I did
ME: Oh yeah, I did.
SOPHIE: That's a fancy-ass hotel, Lina. Lucky you.
MOLLY: But is it not where you left that green dress of yours? You know, the one you were supposed to wear tonight.
I look at what I am wearing
Tee-shirt and jeans
I roll my eyes
What an ugly outfit for a party
I look at my feet
Oh man, am I wearing flip-flops?
ME: Dude, seriously, in what world am I wearing flip-flops?
MOLLY: I didn't want to say it but...
ME: This is a disgrace.
SOPHIE: Your words, not ours.
Ugh, shut up Sophie
I stop
ME: Ok, there is no way I am making two more steps with those on.
I remove the flip-flops and throw them in the nearest bin
This is a nightmare
I look at the hotel
Molly looks at me
ME: I have to go back in. Get that dress back.
MOLLY: And your shoes. You probably left your shoes too.
ME: I probably surely left them too, yes. Thank you, Molly. And I shall go get them back while I am here, you know.
TOM: But what about the party?
ME: There can be no party until I am properly dressed alright?
SOPHIE: But Claire...
ME: Ugh, shut up Sophie.
Oops
Sorry
ME: Sorry.
Not sorry
MOLLY: We hate Claire anyway. Come one Lina, I'll come with you. You guys go ahead, and we will meet you there.
Tom and Sophie leave
Now I hate Sophie too
I look at Molly and we both laugh
ME: Now let's go get that dress back.
We enter the hotel lobby
I look at Molly
No
I look at no one
Damn it, Molly. Again?
Every fucking time
Molly is gone
Why does she always have to disappear when things get interesting?
I look around me
Why does she always have to disappear when things get serious?
I am alone
Why does she always have to disappear when things get SCARY?
I am alone in a giant hotel lobby
ME: Molly??
I don't like this
I arrive in front of the elevator
A giant elevator
The kind of elevator you only ride to go to a penthouse
Like in the movies
Only...
ME: This isn't a movie now, is it?
The elevator bell rings
Doors open
I am about to make a step forward when I see tons of people coming from my side entering the elevator
I stop and look at them
What the...
ME: Hell?
I look behind me to see where they come from
The lobby is still empty
I am freaking out
I really do not feel this vibe
Something bad is going to happen
I look back at the people in the elevator
There are like 20 of them
How do they all fit in?
I then see a little child
He smiles at me
How cute
ME: Hey.
I wave at him and he waves back
He is holding a plastic bag
I wonder what's in it
ME: What's in your bag, little guy?
CHILD: A green dress.
MY green dress?
ME: MY green dress?
He nods
Bless that child
ME: I was looking for that! Thanks.
I enter the elevator
Wait
Something is wrong
I look at the others, all looking at me
It takes me a minute, but then I see it
I see Him
This man, this giant man, standing in the middle of the elevator
The giant elevator
In a giant lobby
In a giant hotel
Wow
Now I am dizzy
I look at him, but he is not looking at me
I follow his eyes
He is looking at the child
What does he want?
I look at the child again, only not with the same friendly eyes
Now I am scared
I am scared that that giant man is about to kidnap that child
Along with my dress
I find myself yelling: no
ME: No!
Then suddenly
The man grabs the child and lifts him in the air
The plastic bag falls onto the floor
Correction: My green dress falls onto the floor
The child is now calling for help
No time to waste, we all react and jump on him, trying to get the child back
A whole minute passes
A young man manages to get the child off from the man safely
Good
I am still holding the man's right arm, trying to get him out of the elevator
Away from my green dress
Man, he is strong
But dude, I am stronger
Got to make all those hours at the gym count!
I am pulling and pulling
Then I see a woman, taking out of her bag a syringe
Probably a nurse
ME: Lady, please tell me this is a sedative.
LADY: Don't worry, I am a certified nurse.
ME: What?
That wasn't my question
The giant man then sees her and grabs the syringe with his left hand, pushing her to the floor
Damn you, useless nurse lady
He pushes me too
I see him about to grab the child again, only with the syringe in his hand!
ME: Oh, not on my watch buddy. Everyone on him, now!
Without another word, I rush and grab his arm, with all my strength this time
All the other people then proceed to jump on him at the same time
Avengers style
I find myself enjoying that kind of action
I look around and see the certified nurse's bag
I jump on the floor and look inside for another syringe
Come on nurse, please have another one of those
I find one!
Luck is on my side
I take it out and inject whatever is inside into the giant man's body
I take a few steps back and look at him
Is he going to faint?
Or is he going to explode?
ME: Please don't explode, please don't explode.
Holy crap
He is still standing
Even with 10 people on his back, this dude is still standing
Who is he, Thanos?
I look at him
No, he is not purple
I see him wobbling
Wobbling
Still wobbling
Finally
He trips on my green dress and falls on his knees
My beautiful and sexy green dress
Now I'm pissed
I jump on him
He now falls on his belly
We all grab his arms
ME: Everyone, grab his legs too!
They listen
I am so captain americaning the situation
I need to prevent him from moving
I step on my green dress and block one of his arms with my legs
I can feel my heart breaking at the look of my dress under my feet
He will pay for this
ME: Who are you? And why did you do this?
MAN: You wouldn't understand.
ME: Explain to me then!
SOMEONE: Police is on its way!
MAN: No, not the police! Please, you cannot call the police! I will tell you everything!
ME: Talk!
I can feel him gaining his strength back
For the first time in my life, I actually wish I was heavier
ME: Is it the child? You tried to kidnap a child?
MAN: I wouldn't hurt a child; I am not crazy.
ME: Then why did you grab him?!
MAN: I didn't!
ME: Oh yes you did.
MAN: I did not.
ME: You did!
MAN: Did not!
ME: I saw you, you crazy pedophile!
MAN: I am not a pedophile! I didn't mean to grab him like that!
ME: Ah, so you admit it!
MAN: Nooo, you've got it all wrong, I am not here for the child!
ME: Then why are you here?!
MAN: I am here for the dress!
I knew it!
ME: You thief!
MAN: I had no choice, she forced me!
What?
ME: What?
The police arrives
The giant man suddenly rises, lifting us all up and down
He takes the dress
My green dress
MINE
I grab the axe
Wait, what axe?
How did I end up with an axe in my hands?
I look at it
It's a green axe
I pause
Oh well, might as well use it I guess
Channeling my inner Hawkeye, I try to aim for the giant man, axe in the air
I run towards him
But I stop
I look behind me and I see the police arriving, guns in hands
I look back at the giant man
I look at my green dress, all wrinkled
I look at my jeans and my barefoot
...
...
...
What would the police think if they saw me attacking the man with a green axe?
I mean, it's not even your classic red axe
Would they think I am his accomplice?
All because he has my green dress, the same green as my axe?
What if they start shooting at me, instead of him?
I don't see him holding any kind of weapon
And I did attack him with a syringe
But so did the certified nurse
Wait, she could be behind this all along
She said she was a certified nurse, but do all certified nurses carry syringes in their bags?
She could be the She, trying to get my green dress from me
Or is it someone else? Someone I know perhaps?
I mean, the person had to know I stayed in this giant hotel, right?
But then...
Then it hits me
ME: Holy mother of dog.
I wake up
Now I remember
Claire has my green dress!