I have become used to putting my notes at the end of the story, but this one, well, it needed it at the beginning. Lord, where to start? I honestly don't know... It's been a hell of a ride and one I am still not sure I have done it justice, or even if I should have tried.
I adore this ship. Actually, I LOVE Newwie's visuals, the way he looks on screen. You know, there are a few actors like that (I won't go into names - we all have our preferences) and for me, Newwie, is one of them. I knew it way back from Waterboys, and Sotus days. There was just something that caught my eye and I kept watching Sotus for peeks of him (even though I couldn't stand Krist and his cringing acting - sorry, SingtoKrist fans, again, personal preferences, it didn't take away from the story, just diminished the enjoyment of the viewing for me.)
You see, I HAD seen Kiss and really didn't pay much attention to him, so minor was his role. It was when they released Waterboys AND Sotus almost at the same time, and you know how you get that niggling feeling in the back of your mind, "Hey? I know you from somewhere?" Well, that was Newwie. I started to pay attention.
But then... MaxTul broke the BL world with Together With Me in 2017 and that kissing scene... and the whole industry changed. From a live action remake in Japan of Takumi-kun, The Series in December of 2007 to the Love of Siam in 2009. Oh, God, I remember waiting and waiting hours for bootleg downloads and praying that they would have subtitles! Sitting in AOL or ICQ chatrooms, talking with bilingual peeps, hoping someone could translate for me! Youtube made content easier when Lovesick and other dramas were on, but we still waited weeks for subs (thanks to you all who did them! God, I miss your comments!) Suddenly, from 2017, BL began to go mainstream and we weren't "rotten girls" any longer, buying our manga from Japan or looking for "art films" online anymore and my heyday that began so long ago was finally over.
It was time to put that part of my life to bed. But as someone who was so isolated, I wasn't ready. I NEEDED my fujoshi outlet. I needed my worldwide connection!
As someone who has been watching anything with gay/LGBT+ since the late 1980's, I almost (almost, I said) felt violated. Here were these babies trying to change what my generation fought so hard to draw, sell, make a market for! We finally found studios willing to do live action adaptations of our favorite authors and they were... what?
Thinking all actors were gay in real life? Thinking the actors were couples? Using words I'd never heard before like ships, delulu and others... I had to go back to school (thank you, internet) and learn all new stuff once again, thereby realizing it wasn't a WESTERN idealism, but a fan based EASTERN one.
Welcome to a fanfiction that I've been working on for...
FOREVER!
No, seriously, I began this way back in February of 2021. My god, I just realized that it's close to TWO whole years! It kept being put on the back burner because, to me, the ship of Tay and New, although it has it's ups and downs, never really set sail. It has always fascinated me, because as friends, they work brilliantly together. I do not see them together sexually but could it be done?
Therefore, could I, with my imagination picture them having that type of relationship? It was an interesting challenge for my limited brain cells. You know, all this ice and snow can slow down all the activity happening in your brain. Now, when you add in the number of pot smokers you run into, well... those brain cells decrease even further!
Poor Newwiee... He has a lot of delulu toxic fans. He has faced numerous death threats for having a normal social life. I mean, just because his job is being a BL actor does not mean his sexual orientation is. What's wrong with fucking who you want? So he posts a picture of a woman on IG? Is it really a girl he's fucking? So what if he doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life? No one does.
A lot, according to his toxic fan base... they both received death threats. This happened not once but twice or three times. I forget, it was a long time ago and right now, I'm feeling too lazy to go back and research for accuracy. (This, after all, IS a fanfiction.)
During all of this, Tay stood beside him until it became too much and they needed a break because of the shippers. Pressure, I tell you.
It became so bad that even GMM-TV, who's notorious for not caring about their actors or mental health (or perhaps it was New who put his foot down, who knows?) pulled back from Tay and then everything really blew up, big time! Those delulu toxic fans again...
Headlines abounded with "Did they fall out?" or my personal favorite, "Lovers Fight!" God, fans really are toxic as they combed through each clip of events or live streams and pointed out where Tay was miles away from New, or "glaring" at him. They even stopped doing VLives together and that was when shit hit the fan for real, because whatever happens in Thailand, well, IG fans don't really give a damn.
We don't really see significant others as a stumbling block. Actually, we don't really understand the whole FAN culture they have going on over there in Asia as a whole (Idols, Actors or BL Stars, etc.)
Did they even consider the possibility that NO ONE wanted to give the rumour mill even more fodder? Nope, that would be inconceivable. My heart was breaking for these young men who have a whole future ahead of them. Honestly, when you think, they've only lived a quarter of it, it's just a blip. These are, in essence, young men who are just trained (I hope) in acting, not in how to handle the pressure of the delusions of young, obsessed fans. Do you think GMM-TV bothers with that part?
And companies will exploit those same young, obsessed fans because they both pay the salary and make huge amounts of money from the sale of merchandise. TayNew are their bread. By now, Tay was also getting threats.
Why? For hurting New.
New could not have an online presence. Tay also turned off his online accounts. Both were only present through the official GMM-TV accounts. Fans were at first frustrated, then it slowly died down.
Several months passed and people moved on. Brand-new ships appeared and TayNew faded. Tay reactivated his account first. Nothing bad happened. New was way, way more cautious. A lot more cautious. It was months before his account was reactivated.
They did several appearances together - award shows, not quite as relaxed as before, but still not as standoffish. Yet during one interview, he was asked about the "difficulties." I remember how Tay stood behind him, apparently glaring and yet, New never flinched. He simply gave a slightly sad smile as he listened and nodded before answering politely.
The interviewer asked something along the lines of: "Your fans don't want you to date. Do you see yourself married and with children someday?"
"Yes, I will have a wife and children someday because I don't believe my true fans want me to be lonely all my life." Sad smile. "It's a very lonely life, being a boylove actor." New gave a small bow and left.
It was then I decided I had to write this story. Sigh... How would the pressure affect a man? Could I put myself in their shoes and do it justice? I did not know...
Now, on to why you haven't seen any part of this story as of yet...
1. I wasn't sure anyone would read my version of a TayNew fanfiction but I was writing it anyway during the writer's block from several other stories, one being Warrior's, the other was Who Care's.
2. I really wanted to post this finished, even if you see it come each day, chapter by chapter.
3. Death: God, so many people (or pets) died around me that I think I filled several buckets of salty tears. Wrong story to work on for that, emotional wise.
4. My momma is turning 80 and damn it, she put me in charge of her party. I HATE parties and big functions. What the fuck do I know about planning them? It's made my head ache. (By the time this is posted, party over and it was a total disaster! I wrote about it if you wanna read that!)
So years later, not only am I finishing up this author's note, but I am also gonna give you a Farm update. Skip or not, up to you, as always.
Climate change is fucking real, people! The hot weather came 3 months early and I know NOTHING about planting in hot weather. When I talk hot, I mean hot. Canada is not supposed to have +30 C days in April, May or June! They start out with +12 to 15 C and go down to +6 to 8 C. Half my crops did not germinate, even with the water I soaked the garden.
Seriously, I grow cold weather germination crops. I grow them well... sigh. I will sell crafts for my taxes this year. It's a bit more risky but I can do it and hope for the best. Need a personalized keychain anyone?
I'm also picking wild berries and making preserves. Wow, what a year for them. Haven't had a year like this in over 20 years but it's 2, almost 3 weeks early. Did saskatoons (syrup and jam) but I ate all the wild strawberries and raspberries- for that amount of work, it's for my tummy only.)
Next will be chokecherries for syrup and juice (they can make their own jelly - I have no sugar left) and high bush cranberries into juice. If I had more sugar, I'd make more products but you do what you can. I am limited on how far I can go into the bush because of the bears.
Black bears are not too dangerous being just as afraid of us as we are of them but we do want the same food, and if they have young cubs, well... momma is a mean bear.
So I have my busy life this summer. It might not seem like I've been around much but I've been here!
Hope you all are doing just fine :)
Further farm update:
Snow arrived early! I should be used to it by now. Damn climate change....
I should be packing. I am not. I'm sitting by a roaring fire, watching the snow fall, debating if I should start to post this story for feedback. Perhaps I should. I'm at a writer's block - severe (Sorry, kpopgirrl) in Who Cares. I promise I will finish it!
And I will fix the cover of this... Maybe. I'm feeling lazy these days.