April 2014
After your discussion with Crowley, you now knew that the Enochian cuts on your skin had a purpose. You also somewhat understood why or at least how your family and friends didn't remember you. But the biggest mystery was still why. Why had you been brought here in the first place?
Having nothing more useful to say to you, Dean and Sam had taken Crowley back to room 7B. And that left you alone again to your own devices. Your brain was swimming with information and you truely doubted that you would be able to sleep, but you made your way back to your room. Leaving the door half open in case Dean stopped by again like he had done two nights before.
You sat down on the floor next to your bed, your arms folded over your knees and your head resting on them, unsure of what to do now. Maybe you should do what Dean always did, drink. But you didn't feel like drinking alone. You thought about watching something, to take your mind off of your reality. But your body wouldn't budge so you could fetch a device.
Was this feeling overwhelm? Or was it relief?
You had been cut up and pulled to this country with no choice in the matter. But as a consolation prize, you knew your family and friends were protected from this world you'd found yourself in.
Movement from your partially open door caught your attention and you looked up to see Dean's hand in a fist, about to knock on the doorframe.
"You okay?" Dean walked over and sat down next to you. One leg bent at the knee upright like yours, the other straight out in front of him.
You lifted your head up to look at him and you saw concern in his green eyes. "Honestly... I don't know what to think... Or, or feel... I have some answers, but it's even more confusing now."
And then, before you knew it, all your doubts and thoughts over the last five months just spilt from your mouth in rapid succession. "It doesn't make any sense Dean... I'm nobody special... Why did some cunt choose me out of all the other people in the world... I'm not even from this country, yet they had to go get me from Australia to bring me here... Surely they could've found someone more interesting that could do whatever it is I'm supposed to be here for. Someone close by... A celebrity, a politician... I'm not even a hunter like you or Sam..."
"I had my Apple pie life right? Not the most exciting, but it was mine. Am I supposed to feel better that my friends and family are protected or something? Because I would've rather stayed in Australia to be with them over this..." You stopped yourself at that, and tried to back track. "Don't, don't get me wrong... You and, and Sam... Well, you're my friends now too, and I'm glad I met you, but..."
"Hey." Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulder and cut you off. "I'm not insulted... I get it... But remember, I told you, me and Sam chose free will when the angels wanted us to be vessels to Michael and Lucifer. And you have that too. Screw whatever this cunt," he repeated the word you'd used with a small laugh, "wants you to do."
As you hesitated to say anything more, you felt Dean's chest shake slightly. "Did I tell you Snooki was a crossroads demon?.. It probably won't make you feel any better but demons choose celebrities, not angels... Angels choose good people. Which makes you special, even if you don't want to be..."
You lowered your head and wiped the tears you hadn't realised had fallen. "Thanks Dean..." You whispered.
"You're welcome sweetheart." And as he had done two nights before, you felt him kiss you on the top of the head.
Together the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. You trying to sort through your thoughts and Dean attempting to comfort you. 'You're welcome, sweetheart.' He had never called you that before, and somehow, it made you feel better, grounded.
You were still confused over why an angel would chose you in the first place, let alone bring you to the States and dump you where they had, on the side of that Kansas highway. Perhaps you should be grateful that they had left you close enough to the roadside so that you had been found and taken to the hospital. Or grateful that your family and friends were protected against the thing that had done this to you in the first place.
No... The person you were truely grateful to, was sitting right beside you. Dean.
"We have to leave again tomorrow..." Dean broke the silence between you. His arm was still wrapped around your shoulders. "First thing, with Crowley."
You nodded your head. The theme of the night had not been all about you after all. Crowley was there to help Sam and Dean find the First Blade. You had merely been a curiosity to the demon. Something to pass the time away on.
"Are you sure that Magnus has the First blade?" Your voice coming across horse after your previous outburst. "What if Sam's right and it's a double cross?"
"Only one way to find out... I need the First Blade..." Dean began.
But you cut him off. "You're hit list... I know."
"You're the only one calling it that... But yeah... My hit list." Dean chuckled. He moved the arm that was draped over your shoulders as he readied himself to stand back up to leave. "I'll see you when we get back... You should try and get some sleep."
With that, Dean stood up and walked to the door.
"So should you..." You called out, just loud enough for him to hear you. "Good luck Dean... I hope you find it... And..."
"Drive safe..." Dean winked at you.
"Yeah." You confirmed to him as he closed your bedroom door and walked out into the bunkers corridor.
*****
After Dean had left your room, you moved to your bed to try and get some sleep as he had suggested. But sleep wouldn't come and you tossed and turned for a few hours more, thinking over what Crowley had told you, and worrying about Sam and Dean. The last time you had checked the time on your phone it was just after 3am. Sometime after that, you finally fell asleep.
You woke up the next morning to a quiet, empty bunker. There were no text messages from either Winchester, so you had no idea for certain if Sam and Dean had indeed left. While the two men were nowhere in sight, there was a slight chance that they could be in room 7B, but you had no way of knowing, having promised them that you would stay out of there.
Their rooms were empty, and their doors open. The only clear way to tell, that you could think of was to look for Baby. And so, moving on from checking Sam's room, you moved through the long corridor and into the war room. Walking straight over to the curved staircase and climbing up the metal steps to reach the large metal door. Peeking your head outside, there was no car in sight.
To be certain, you then walked back down the curved stairs and headed for the garage. While there were plenty of other vehicles parked, there was no sleek black Impala.
Sam and Dean had most definitely left before you had awoken. And once again you were left alone to your own devices. Still worrying about your two friends and overthinking Crowley's words.
You went to the mess room to make yourself some breakfast, cleaning up as soon as you were done. Then you made yourself a second cup of coffee, the first one with breakfast not being enough, and moved to the library with your laptop. You put away all the books on angels you had been using previously and sat only with your case file open and laptop in front of you.
You searched through the paperwork, looking at the reports from the police station and hospital. Crowley's words were playing over and over again in your mind. "Being left on the side of that highway was no accident little Koala. Whoever made those cuts, wanted you to be in that place at that exact time."
That exact place and time. You had been dumped on that part of the highway at exactly the right time. Was there something significant about that time, that date?
Dean had once told you, Google, was hopefully, your friend. And so with that in mind you started googling the time and place mentioned in the witness report in your case file, hoping to find something. Hoping that google would really be your friend. But as the hours drew on, you found absolutely nothing.
You were so focused with what you were doing, that you didn't even hear the large heavy door opening at the top of the landing. Nor noticed as Sam and Dean came into view, down the curved metal stairs. It took Sam coming over to you in the library, for you to realise that the brothers were even home.
"Hey!" Sam rested his hand on your shoulder, making you jump.
It took you a second but eventually you breathed out a "Hey..." as you rubbed your eyes with your fingertips. You reached for your phone to check the time. Shit... It was well after four.
"How long have you been at it?" Sam asked you, concern on his face.
"Um..." You checked your phone again, the time having not registered in your brain the few seconds earlier when you checked. You calculated the hours with you fingers like you were a child. "Eight hours, maybe... Sam, what happened to your face?"
"Magnus..." Sam begun.
Whomp! A loud thump opposite you startled you again and you looked over to see Dean leaning over a thick text book. You hadn't even noticed him come into the library.
"We found Magnus." Sam continued, eyeing off Dean from across the table too. "He ah, had the First blade..."
You turned to Sam and then back to Dean. "So you have it? You got the blade from Magnus?"
Dean shook his head. "Crowley has it." His voice was angry. "Sam was right. He double crossed us... He won't hand it over until we find Abaddon."
So they had found the First Blade, but lost it to Crowley. No wonder Dean was pissed. And that explained Crowley's absence too. It seemed that no one was having any luck today. You and your research going nowhere and Sam and Dean coming home empty handed.
"Alright." Sam pulled you away from your thoughts. You realised you had been staring at Dean's hands as he turned the pages over in the book. "Pretty sure you could use a break away from the computer... And you haven't been outside the bunker in a while. Wanna come with me for a supply run? We can pick up something for dinner while we're out too."
"Yeah... Sounds good, um, let me get my purse." And you stood up and walked through the door at the back of the library, into the corridor in the direction of your room. Meeting Sam again, a few minutes later in the war room.
On the way into town, Sam told you the events of his and Dean's day. From travelling with Crowley to the middle of nowhere, where his demon underlings had last tracked Magnus. To discovering Magnus' secret home, invisible to the human eye and only appearing as a door after Sam held up the key to the bunker and explained who they were, legacies to the Men of Letters.
How they had fought two vampires, part of Magnus' zoo, a collection of supernatural rarities that includes the First Blade. But Magnus, unamused by Sam had sent him away with magic, intending to keep Dean as part of his collection. And when Sam and Crowley had managed to break back inside, Sam was tricked by a shapeshifter and cut on the face and neck, to piss Dean off. The trick worked and Dean killed Magnus, only for Crowley to take the blade with him after it was all done.
One part of Sam's story really stuck out to you. After Dean had killed Magnus, it had taken a while for him to calm down again. Something about him seemed different to Sam, and that was the concern you had seen on his face, when he first greeted you on their arrival home.
"Do you think we should be worried?" You asked as Sam pulled Baby over to park in front of the store.
Sam thought for a moment. "I don't know... I haven't seen him like that before. He's a killer for sure, but the way he held the blade, even after he'd finished Magnus off, he was still tense, ya' know. Ready to strike. It took me yelling at him, to snap him out of it.."
"What about when Crowley left with the blade? How was he then?" Dean had seemed angry, different, when he had returned earlier. Although it had taken you awhile to notice. You yourself being so focused on your own research at the time.
"He was pissed. But more so because Abaddon had scratched the car." Sam replied to you with a knowing look.
"Wait... Abaddon was there?" You didn't remember Sam mentioning her in his story. And you were also more concerned about the demon, than the car.
"We didn't see her. Just the message she left on the side of the car for Crowley... Come see for yourself." And with that Sam opened the drivers door and motioned for you to come around and see the Enochian symbols scratched into the car. You were surprised Dean hadn't removed them himself. "Dean wouldn't let Crowley remove them." Continued Sam, as if confirming your thoughts.
You observed the scratches on Baby, tracing over them with your finger. They were similar to the scars on your skin, and yet different. Obviously different words. No wonder Dean was pissed. "We should get him some pie while we're at it... If it doesn't cheer him up, then we really should be worried." You chuckled.
"Yeah..." Sam grinned back.
*****
You and Sam returned to the bunker just after six. Two pies in hand, as well as dinner, burgers and fries, beer, and a weeks worth of groceries. Also included in your haul, the ingredients to make the boys a lasagne. Something you figured you could make a lot of and also freeze it for later on the days when the boys were gone. Sam insisted on double the amount of ingredients, warning you that Dean would most likely eat most of it in one setting.
Together you and Sam carried the groceries to the mess room and you quickly packed away the perishables before retrieving Dean from the library. You would pack the rest away after. The three of you sat at the small table together, enjoying your burgers and it felt like old times once again. Your concerns, all far from your minds.
Dean was ecstatic about the pie. Telling you, "Sammy always forgets the pie." Much to Sam's annoyance.
After you had finished your burger you stood up to put the rest of the groceries you'd left on the kitchen island away. Ever vigilant of his surroundings, the pre-made lasagne sheets went unnoticed by Dean and he was excited to hear that you planned to make two tomorrow.
With your bellies all full and the groceries away, topics of conversation turned back to other things and Sam asked you what had kept your focus when they had arrived home. You explained your progress to them, which was fuck all, going over the dates and the location where you had been found.
"Do you know much about Buddhism? I found out on the 8th of December, Japan celebrates the day Buddha found enlightenment... Besides that, there's nothing significant about that day... No one I know of has a birthday or anniversary of any kind... I mean, I remember being promoted around that time two years ago..." You were rambling again.
Sam jumped in before you could continue. "Well what about the place?... Dean, you went there right?"
"Yeah. Before I went to the station. But there was nothing there but trees and grass... Sorry sweetheart." Dean looked over at you.
You signed. You already knew Dean had been there and found nothing. "I even looked on Google maps, I thought maybe there might be something from the aerials, but nope... You said demons lie right? Maybe Crowley is just messing with me..."
"Maybe... But he seemed interested in you from the moment he saw you..." Sam replied thoughtfully.
Dean stood up from the stool he'd been sitting on and walked to the fridge. "Yeah... He was really interested... He refused to help us with Magnus until we told him more about you..."
"Is that why you brought me out to join you in the library?" Things were starting to make a little more sense to you. Dean had asked you to stay away from the war room so that you wouldn't run into him if and when they brought him back to the bunker.
"Yeah. Your files wasn't enough... It fuelled his interest even more." Sam added.
Dean moved back over to the table, three more beers in hand. He handed one to both you and Sam, but Sam waved his hand and declined. Staring at you for a moment, seeming to hesitate with his next words. Dean finally spoke again. "Do you want to see if for yourself?"
You looked at him confused. "See what?"
"Where they found you... I can take you there tomorrow." Dean replied.
You thought for a moment at the suggestion. It was a kind offer for sure, but you also knew that he and Sam had their plates full. The minute Dean had come home he had undoubtably gone into researching Abaddon again and you didn't want to distract him any further from his goal. "No, it's okay... You've got to concentrate on the First Blade and Abaddon... Maybe, it's about time I set out on my own."
You hadn't really thought much about your last sentence before it left your mouth. And by the look on Sam and Dean's faces they were not expecting it either.
Dean was the first to respond, ever the loaded gun. "Absolutely not!" He had gone from fun relaxed Dean to what you presumed, the monsters saw before he 'ganked' them.
You weren't generally one to anger yourself but you weren't okay with how he had spoken to you. "Excuse me?"
Sam jumped in to diffuse the situation. "What Dean's trying to say is," He stopped to glare at his older brother who still looked like he wanted to 'gank' something. "It's too dangerous for you to go out alone... We don't know who did this to you and we don't want to see you get hurt, or worse..."
"If the person who did this to me wanted to hurt me, don't you think they would have done more than what they already have?" You reasoned with Sam, ignoring Dean. "All I'm saying is... I, I just thought..."
You didn't really know what you thought.
Because you were torn. You missed your family and friends back home, but you had also become so comfortable in this new life with Sam and Dean. So much so that you knew, if you left the bunker and made your way back home, you'd be missing them instead.
"First thing in the morning." Dean's voice interrupted your internal struggle. "Meet me in the war room first thing tomorrow morning. We're going to go relook at the place you were found..."
"But..." You started.
"I'm not taking no for an answer..." Dean cut in. "Lasagne will have to wait till the day after." And Dean stood up to leave, smirking at you, before you could continue to protest.
Sam patted you on the shoulder. "Just, go along with him please... We're here to help you... Don't forget that."