A/N: Peek-a-boo I bet you weren't expecting an update 👁️👄👁️
"Jay and Sunoo are doing a live tomorrow...but besides that...you have the next three weeks to yourself."
"Really? No photo-shoots...filming...nothing?" Jake asks. Dohyun nods. Jungwon glanced over at Ni-ki, but his expression was soft and calm.
A master at hiding.
"Finally..." Heeseung sighs, leaning back in his chair.
"Enjoy it, you guys deserve it." Dohyun says. The boys nod and watch as Dohyun exits the room, leaving them alone in the silence. The seven of them sat awkwardly at the table...avoiding each other's eyes.
Jay finally decides to speak up after releasing a loud sigh.
"So...are we not going to talk about what happened while filming?" he asks. Jungwon looks over at him and shakes his head.
"No. I ask that everyone leave it unmentioned for now...until you're ready, Ni-ki." Jungwon says quietly. Ni-ki shrugs in response, staring down at his hands resting in his lap.
"And you two?" Heeseung asks, gesturing towards Sunghoon and Sunoo. It was noticeable that the tension between them had lessened, and they weren't avoiding each other anymore.
Their situation was still as undefined and awkward as ever though.
"We're fine. Seriously, this time." Sunoo assures. Heeseung nods and stands from his chair.
"Okay...well...let's all try to take advantage of this break. We all need time to destress from the past couple of weeks. I'm sure things will...get easier." Heeseung says. Jake nods.
Ni-ki stares at his fingers. Would things get better? Was being forced to go to a therapist going to make things better?
Can I really...be fixed?
Do I...deserve...to be fixed?
"I'll see you guys at the dorms..." Jake says suddenly, heading towards the door.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Heeseung asks. Jake looks back at him and raises an eyebrow but doesn't answer. Heeseung swallows.
"Let me come with you." He says quietly. Jake stands at the door for several seconds before nodding, giving Heeseung permission to follow him. The two of them leave rather quickly, like they were late for something. The remaining members shared suspicious glances but no one mentioned it.
"Anyway...is there anything in particular you guys want to eat?" Jungwon asks.
"I'm not...hungry." Ni-ki says. Jungwon took a deep breath like he was ready to recite a speech, but Sunoo cut him off before he could.
"Me neither. We'll eat together later, okay?" Sunoo suggests. He grabs Ni-ki's hand under the table and gives it a reassuring squeeze. It was also a warning. Ni-ki nodded but avoided Sunoo's eyes. If he looked at him, his walls would crumble and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down.
Sunoo was his weakness.
"I want some expensive steak." Jay sighs, staring off into space as if he was visualizing it. Sunghoon scoffed and shrugged.
"As long as you're paying." He laughs. Jay looks over at him and nods.
"Of course I'm paying. So, let's go." Jay stands and pulls Jungwon up with them. The three of them wave their goodbyes and then leave Sunoo and Ni-ki alone in the room.
Sunoo fidgets with Ni-ki's fingers as they continue to sit in silence. Sunoo didn't know what to say. Was Ni-ki really not hungry...or was he just avoiding eating for some other reason? The last thing he wanted was for Ni-ki to wither away. Ni-ki had been there for him in his lowest times...he had been the first to comfort him after that drunken incident...
Now it was his turn to return the favor.
Ni-ki said he could come to him...but maybe he was silent begging Sunoo to do the same.
"Ni-ki..." Sunoo whispers softly. He sits still as Ni-ki leans in, resting his forehead on Sunoo's neck. Sunoo felt the other's grip tighten so he did the same.
"I'm right here. I'm always right here, so don't hide away." Sunoo says quietly. Sunoo could feel Ni-ki's shaky exhale against his skin and couldn't help but wonder if he was going to cry. He reached his hand to Ni-ki's face and forced him to move so they were looking at each other. Ni-ki's eyes were slightly watery but no tears had fallen yet.
Sunoo frowned as he stared at him, searching his eyes. There was a sadness in them but there was also something else that Sunoo couldn't place. He noticed as Ni-ki's eyes left his own and went down to his mouth instead. Sunoo did the same.
"Have you been biting your lips?" Sunoo asks, moving his hand away from Ni-ki's face. Ni-ki blinked several times before looking away.
"Yeah...the inside of my cheeks too," he admitted. Sunoo sighed and held Ni-ki's hand again. They were cold compared to his.
"Why?"
"I...I don't know... it hurts and I want to stop, but I can't." Ni-ki whispers, looking down at their entwined fingers.
"What's going on with you lately?" Sunoo asks. Ni-ki shrugs and meets his eyes again.
"I'm just...it...everything just seems like a lot. There's thoughts in my head that aren't mine and I scare myself when I want to listen to them...and sometimes I just want to turn everything off." Ni-ki starts.
"My...heart feels strange and it's like I'm about to fall off a cliff, but I'm the one that keeps forcing myself to inch closer to the edge...it's completely my own fault but it's not me at the same time."
"Why are you pretending to be okay? You should tell someone when you feel like that." Sunoo says.
"I don't want to bother anyone. I feel like it's just a phase I'll get over soon...so it's not that big of a deal. I think I'm just stressed from the busy schedule, and it will all go away once I get some decent sleep." Ni-ki tries to smile but stops when Sunoo raises his eyebrow. He wasn't buying it.
"I'll tell you." Ni-ki sighs.
"I'll start telling you when I feel that way." he lies. Sunoo nods and wraps his hand around the back of Ni-ki's neck and pulls him into a hug. Ni-ki allowed himself to relax in his arms.
Just this time.
—----------------------------------------
"On today's episode of 'I don't know what i'm doing', we have Sunoo and I attempting to paint." Jay says, holding up a blank canvas to the camera. Sunoo scoffs and nudges Jay's shoulder lightly.
"I know what I'm doing." Sunoo giggles and reaches for a paint brush.
"What are we painting? I already forgot." Jay admits.
"Each other...you're painting a fox, and I'm painting a black cat." Sunoo tells him. Jay nods and grabs a bottle of blue paint.
Sunooluvr
I LOVE YOU GUYS
bakedpotato
OPPA NOTICE ME
a.rock.okay
jay I like your hair
Naomifurrystan
Jay, I love youuuu!!!
The comments went by quickly but they were able to catch a few.
"I love you too." Jay says, flashing a smug grin. Sunoo shakes his head and gives Jay a side eye before starting on the painting.
Jay wasn't sure where to start so he decided to start with the background. The sky, to be more specific. He looked over and noticed that Sunoo had started straight on the cat, it looked like a black blob right now and Jay smirked.
Jungwonies_cactus
CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH
aussie.boi
Sunoo you're so cute
Ceccu12
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
heeseungsfeet
COME TO ITALY
"Can you pass the water?" Sunoo asks, nodding towards the clear cup. Jay scoots it to the middle of the table and watches Sunoo rinse his brush.
"Really? Now the water is black..." Jay sighs.
"So?"
"What if you need to use a light color? Like white or yellow?"
"Oh my gosh...if it's that big of a deal, I can get fresh water." Sunoo rolls his eyes and continues with the painting.
"No...I'll get it if I need it." Jay says.
majestic.corn
bickering is love, it;s ok
Naomifurrystan
Sunoo, you're such a visual!
sunjay_supreme
Like an old married couple LOL
Jay moved onto the next color; orange. Sunoo was allowing his first layer of paint to dry while he read some of the comments.
Most of them were compliments, or asking to be seen. Others were in languages he couldn't read.
He finally decided to just pose in front of the camera, making hearts and sticking out his lip in a pout.
Ceccu12
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
riki_jackson3000
CUTE WUOJCEKJICOWKLNJ
putyournamehere
I am: deceased
willy_wonki_chocofactory
IM FEELING LONELY-
Sunoo continues his...selfie time. Jay watches from the corner of his eye and changes colors again, not bothering to wait for the first layer to dry. He was just glad that Sunoo was smiling again. That had to mean that things were beginning to look up.
—-----------------------------------------------
"Ta-da!" Sunoo turned his painting around at the same time as Jay as they revealed their art to the camera. Sunoo looks over at Jay's and bursts out laughing.
"What is that?" Sunoo asks loudly. Jay's cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
"I'm an idol, not a painter." He mumbles. Sunoo continues laughing as he points at the painting.
"Which side is the face? Why are there random red spots on it? Do you even know what a fox looks like?"
Jay laughs and points at Sunoo's painting.
"Well yours looks more like a dog or horse or something!" He complains.
"At least it looks like an animal!" Sunoo hisses. They continue bickering for several minutes before giving up and admitting they were both horrible.
"Well anyway...that's all for today. Thank you for watching, bye Engene!" Sunoo calls. The two of them smile and wave at the camera until the staff let them know it was off.
"Ah...I'm tired now." Jay yawns and stretches his arms. Sunoo nods in agreement and leads the way to the elevators.
"We have a busy schedule of doing nothing, and I'm late." Jay jokes.
"Go ahead and get your beauty sleep in." Sunoo says, hitting the button for the ground floor. Jay nods and watches Sunoo, who is standing in front of him. The small smile on Sunoo's lips made him think things really would be okay.
A/N:
Special thanks to my 3+ years BESTIES(I don't really know, it's just been a long time):
And my newer friends 🫶:
Thank you guys for the comment/username ideas cause I was too tired to think of many on my own 🥲🫶💛
Anyway...thank you again to the readers for your support 😭
This story is almost finished, i'm in the process of writing the final chapter now...
Don't forget to vote if you enjoyyyy~
Have a wonderful day/night 🫶💛💛