Chapter 33
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An Open Dam
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"Hey Leafy."
She opened her eyes at the sound of her name, startled at the sight in front of her. It was Coiny—who else would it be—locking eyes with her. She'd been sprawled out on the grass, letting her mind wander around ol' do-gooder memory lane, letting the soft sweeping breeze calm her down. How she hadn't heard him approaching was frightening, but her concern lay elsewhere.
Leafy blinked, her brain still registering his greeting. She never noticed his eyes were different colors. One green, the other amber. Her breath hitched, eventually coming to her senses as the strands of grass underneath her brushed under her hand.
She hated to admit the awkwardness she was created by the "sudden" presence and her lack of response. Despite being aware he'd show up, she hadn't prepared herself. She was hoping it would play out better than their previous interaction, seeing how nervous she was. The atmosphere was clouded with the thick awareness of her feelings that night, not focused on the array of words Coiny had said, and she wasn't willing to do that again. He was showing up with valuable input, only for her to ignore it. She needed her head in the game, and she was more than well aware of it.
It took her a second to pronounce the words stuck in her mind as she pushed herself up; the man stepping back, a tad bit away from her range. "Hey Coiny."
He stuck his hands into the pockets of his shorts, stepping in front of her and sitting on the ground. "Sorry if I woke you up," he began, shifting his sight away from her. "Wasn't sure if I should have left or not," his voice softened, a nervous grin washing on his face.
Leafy heaved heavily, bringing her hand up to her cheek. "No–I wasn't sleeping," her voice hoarse as she spoke. "Was just thinking is all."
He chuckled, leaning against his arm on the floor, finally looking up at her. "Doesn't sound like it."
With a scoff, she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I get it."
"Seriously though, sounds like you just woke up," concerned laced his words, unconsciously leaning in. "How much have you been sleeping?"
The woman shook her head. "I don't really sleep as much as I'd like to be honest," she stated.
The copperhead boy hummed, nodding in response. "I get it. Don't know why I can't sleep despite quitting caffeine." His voice had a wisp of annoyance, the slightly furrowed brow giving enough of a hint for Leafy to stay silent. "Gave up drinking coffee hoping to resolve," he struggled to find the right word. She kept her sight on his face, seeing his expression change from calm to dejection. "This, I guess," he signaled to himself.
It was faint, however. His sight crawled back to her, a tired grin forming as he brought his hand back to his neck, tugging his hair. "Besides that, whatcha been up to?" he asked.
She hadn't realized her breathing had stopped as she gasped for air, trying to formulate words to give in response. She could tell Coiny was avoiding a conversation, one that might be sour to hear but needed to be said. His forced grin and tired sight were just from what she could read. And she didn't know how to spring that conversation up.
"Uh," she faltered. "Nothing, to be honest. Kinda difficult to do stuff when you're out in the middle of nowhere. By yourself?" She cringed at her choice of words, immediately questioning them, despite being true.
"Sorry," she hastily apologized. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that." Her words hung low with a heavy sigh, leaving her lips. From the corner of her eyes, she could see him kindly smile, ready to reply. And she cut him off before he could talk. "I just don't think talking about me is the right thing, you know?"
He gave a squint, his curiosity now irked. "Whadda ya mean?"
The attention had turned to her, her face flushing at the spotlight directed overhead. "I mean, I don't really do much." She brushed her hand across her arm, looking away. Her voice felt frail, the butterflies getting to her as she began speaking again. "If anything, I prefer listening to what you did more than talking."
The faint pause only made her feel the surrounding air thicken. The silence grew louder even if she continued. "Weird how, despite me not talking that much, hearing you talk just—" Leafy glanced at Coiny, his invested attention making her tense up. She could feel the heat on her cheeks grow warmer, eyes still stuck on him.
"Eases everything..."
She gazed aside with the sentence trailing behind her thoughts as she began twiddling her thumbs. In an instant, her mind hit the realization of what she had said.
"Maybe it's cause I don't talk to anyone," she sputtered out, frantically trying to masquerade her sentence. "But I really like just hearing you talk."
She didn't dare look up, her brain imagining his reaction; disgust clear on his face.
Instead, he hushed a laugh, catching her attention with a startle. "I get it."
She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and her gut wasn't helping. His rough laughter only made her frown. "Uhh..."
"No! I do! Promise!"
His smile was too sweet for his words to be harsh.
"I enjoy coming out here too, you know. 'Get-away-from-everything' kind of thing. But to be frank, I really like talking to you."
She felt an arrow strike at her heart.
"You're like a confidant to me," he giggled, scratching the back of his neck. "Although I kinda do like sitting in silence at times as well."
It sounded like a whisper when she spoke, only saying "I do too", her heart racing at the sincerity. Somehow he picked it up, not catching note of her dazing off with Cupid's arrow stuck at her chest.
"Yeah," he hushed, looking down at the ground briefly before turning to her. "Plus, you have a fantastic view of the night sky here."
The sentence brought her back down to earth. "True..."
"Do you wanna talk?" Leafy asked, intrusive thoughts getting the best of her.
He chuckled, shaking his head, before responding. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"
He rearranged his sitting position, only asking, "Whadda ya wanna talk about?"
"Anything you want."
She truthfully didn't care. Just hearing him would be more than enough to bring her a smile. Hell, his mere presence already did that.
"Uhh, okay. Let me see." His mind traced back and forth, trying to find a point of discussion. He kept his silence, not knowing what to say. He'd only ever bring up old interactions and conversations that brought him joy. But most were from long ago—either BFDIA or before Firey's Trial.
He mentally cursed at himself, struggling to speak up, only mumbling nonsensical words. A simple glance at Leafy, and he could see her patiently waiting for his story. He hadn't prepared for this.
Truth be told, he had done it with reason; reasons.
Some part of him worried about her. He always did, but he worried that if she heard anything regarding her friend, things would go south fast. The way he would walk around his name and anything regarding him was funny to Coiny—in a very harsh way. He had planned to tell her when she was more comfortable with his presence. And that clock had struck a while back, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
As much as he would have loved to blame it on seeing her pain with such terrible news, he knew it was different. Why, he couldn't tell. He just knew it would hurt the moment the cat got out of the bag.
The other reason was he didn't know what else to talk to. He did almost the same thing every day, with little change. There wasn't anything interesting about talking about how he made breakfast. Or dinner. Didn't help that he slept in most of the afternoons when he didn't have a shift.
He could feel his heartbeat slower, his breathing now sluggish as he choked out a nervous chuckle. "Um, I did some electrical work earlier today."
He could see her tilt her head in confusion as if waiting for more info before speaking.
"GB needed some help, and I was the only one who could help apparently," Coiny explained, his sight falling to the ground. "I-It wasn't anything grand, just some basic rewiring."
The silence felt suffocating, and some hesitance in looking back at the girl in front of him.
"So you're a handyman?"
The question caught him off guard as he looked back at her. The glint in his eyes yelled his confusion.
"What?"
Leafy simply snickered at his response, pushing her hair behind her ear as she began. "A handyman," she reiterated. Oh, how his confused expression made her laugh. It was so...
She struggled to remember the word, one that Pencil had said back in the day. What was the word?
"Ya know," she continued, trying to keep the conversation going. "Someone who knows how to do basic repairs."
His confusion stuck for a bit, Leafy's mind finally remembering the word as he stayed thinking in silence.
Adorkable! That's what it is!
"Yeah," his voice stopped her from thinking about it more. "I mean, you can say it's something like that."
She could see his distaste for the word, the way his sight couldn't sit still, as if the mere thought was weird.
"It's better than not knowing how to fix something," she reassured him.
He sighed with a shrug. "I guess. Being a handyman is more tiring than it seems, if that's the case then." He joked, his words tinted with exhaustion.
It was quiet for a second, her head trying to find the words to say. The troubled look in his eyes, as he rearranged his sitting position, was bothering her by the second. She bit the edge of her lips, her mind trying to start a conversation on it.
She'd done it before, so she knew how to do it. Yet there was nothing but a mishmash of words and thoughts. She cursed at herself, trying to remember how she had confronted Coiny when he was troubled. He was keen on opening up, practically wearing his heart on his sleeve, when he broke down. Such openness she'd never seen from him startled her yet, it was what made her trust him.
Leafy sighed, garnering the guy's attention by accident. He crooned as if awaiting her words with patience, something she wasn't ready for because the words in her mind were just forming.
"Coiny," she started, her words already drifting from her thoughts.
How the hell do I even ask?
Her sight fell to the floor, the worry already getting to her. She would feel like a fool to not ask him if he was fine. And yet she already felt like one.
"How are you feeling?"
It was rushed and jagged to say, but it was a start, and that was better than nothing.
His eyes widened at the question, darting his line of vision away from her. To be honest, he was expecting her to want more of an explanation of his latest project, not a self-assessment of his internal being.
He felt his hand dig into the dirt, his weight shifting as he looked back at her. An unsure grin decorated his face as he squinted. "Would you believe me if I said good?"
Her concerned gaze said otherwise. A simple blink was his response, making him scoff at his terrible attempt to avoid the conversation.
"I'm," he began, looking everywhere but towards her. "I'm doing alright. Maybe not great or amazing," he exaggerated his voice. "But it could be," he held onto the e, trailing it until the right word came to mind.
"Worse."
He held his breath in for a while, the uncertainty of what to say still looming over his shoulders. Sight stuck against the ground. He tried to reassure himself as he waited for a response.
"I figured," Leafy stammered, running her hand behind her neck.
He glanced up to eye her, puzzled at her comment. "What?"
She halfheartedly laughed, shaking her head. "You know, you aren't good at hiding it."
The words were all too similar to the ones he heard with Golf Ball. "Y-Yeah. I've been told."
She took a deep breath in and out, trying to shake away the nervous feeling stuck in her throat.
"You wanna talk about it?"
He hung his head, contemplating the offer.
There was a lot on his mind, all wanting to be heard at once. The need to tell her about Firey, his struggles with keeping sleep (possibly more), and the simple idea of Pin lying—or would it just be deceit? Regardless, it was bothering him, and his mind felt like caving in. There was an obvious need to vent, to speak of what felt so suffocating. And with no one to talk to, it was growing ready to tip over.
Coiny shook his leg, bouncing it with uncertainty buzzing in his head. He pressed his lips together firmly against each other, only to sigh, fidgeting with his zipper. "Yeah. Sure."
She was his confidant, after all.
A warm smile grew on her face, the tension in her dissipating with his response. "So, where do you want to start?"
His hand held onto the zipper, the cold metal cooling the warmth of his palm. Where do I WANT to start?
Speaking of Firey was out of the picture. It was a need, not a want. And a few more weeks wouldn't...hurt.
His body tensed, his breath stopping as the thought lingered. It would hurt. Even if he tried to ignore the notion, it hurt him. And if it hurt him—who was befriending him—who knew how Leafy could feel. The man gulped the idea down from his throat, stopping himself from speaking the other guy's name. He stole a glance at the woman in front of him.
Next week.
It needed to be planned and thought out if he was to tell her.
Then that left...
"Pin."
His internal struggles were—of course—his own. That was something he would manage by himself. Whether he could was a different issue. Just not...now.
"Pin? What about her?" Confusion was strung around her words.
"I've been rooming with her?" He paused, unsure if he had started with the right point.
"Uh, that doesn't matter. Sorta..."
He definitely didn't know how to say anything about what he was thinking.
"UM, can I start over?"
Leafy didn't have time to respond, Coiny quickly butting in.
"So, Pin kinda went through some stuff," he said. Trying to explain everything would take too long, and messy details and strands of events could be their own story for a different time.
"She got hurt, and I offered to help her because, well, it would take her a while to recover. GB ended up also being part of her recovery. Pin went to get help from GB without consulting anyone one day—kinda left me frantic for a few hours because of it... But that's not the point!"
He frowned the more he thought of it.
"Lately, she got better, but she didn't tell me until a few weeks had passed. And today I'm just figuring out that GB knew as well but—" he turned his sight to the fire next to him. It felt warmer than it normally was but still brought so much ease.
"I don't know why she didn't tell me. Either of them."
His voice was hoarse, almost as if ready to fall in on itself.
"It doesn't sound big, but I can't stop thinking about it. I've been helping her for months now—for BOTH of them. And neither of them trust me. It feels so..." he hung his head in defeat. Somehow, saying it out loud made it all feel worse.
"Augh. Look, just—I'm happy for her recovery, I really am! I just wished she would have, I don't know... talked to me about it." He ruffled his hair, unintentionally pulling his hair in frustration.
"I talk to both of them a lot. They say they trust me, but then why do I feel like I'm in the dark when something IMPORTANT happens?"
"Pin never spoke to me about GB helping with her recovery, saying she didn't care. Next day, poof! She was gone. I let it slide, since she was more than happy to do things by herself. But now—the more I think of it, the more issues I see."
There was silence for a bit, which didn't bother him all too much. Leafy was thinking. He could see it in her face. Sight stuck elsewhere and the only thing visible was her breathing.
"Have you tried talking to her about it? With Pin, I mean."
"I haven't," he stuttered. "I didn't know how to talk to her about it. She doesn't lie, maybe avoid talking about it, but... I don't want to ruin what we have. We're good friends and if she thinks I'm overanalyzing, which I'm beginning to agree with, I just don't think it's worth ruining our friendship." He grimaced at the word 'friendship,' keeping his attention on the main topic.
"I want her to trust me the way I trust her..."
He opened his mouth to continue, quickly shouting it as he realized he had said everything he needed. Leafy kept quiet, her hand fidgeting with the buttons of her pockets. She had known Pin, even if it was many moons ago. Lying wasn't her best suit, regardless of what it was. She sighed, pushing back her hair with her hand.
"I say you talk to her. We both know lying isn't her best thing," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Plus, I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. Just talk to her and she'll come around, eventually. At most a week."
She could still see the uncertainty glisten in his sight with the fire, even if he was looking away from her.
"If I knew her well, just asking her would clear things up. Trust me on that."
"Yeah... thanks Leafy." He turned to look at her with a soft grin. She smiled at him, seeing his body relax.
"You make a great confidant, ya know?"
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Of course I know."
He shook his head, the grin on his face never wavering. It was so subtle, but she could feel his sincerity brushing close to her. A delicate touch of words so commonly used somehow had a veil of etherealness to it. It made her heart flutter.
"I mean it, Leafy. It means the world to me."
She looked away as her face grew warm.
Yea, she thought to herself. You definitely like him.
A/N: I'm back with biweekly updates!!! Also if you haven't heard, another fic is out (also being updated biweekly).
Made call backs to other chapters, not sure if anyone will realize it tho. BUT MAN do I remind myself why I love writing with this fanfic.