A/N: some possibly disturbing thoughts mentioned
"Hey." Jungwon calls. He plops down on the ground next to Sunghoon with a loud sigh.
"Hi."
Jungwon frowns, noticing how Sunghoon was staring off into space.
"What are you thinking about? Were the cameras too stressful?" Jungwon asks. Sunghoon shakes his head and places his hand in the thin layer of snow on the ground. He smiles...just a little bit.
"Actually...this morning was good." He says quietly. Jungwon raises his eyebrows and scoots closer, inviting Sunghoon to continue.
"Sunoo...said he needed time to think." Sunghoon says.
"Oh? That's...a good thing?" Jungwon asks. Sunghoon shrugs.
"I'm trying to be hopeful. If he needs time to think about it...that means he's considering...right?"
"Yeah...I guess so." Jungwon wanted to be happy for him, he wanted to smile and pat him on the back. He wanted to smirk and wiggle his fingers at him like he had told him his crush had confessed...
...but he was too afraid to do that.
Because it couldn't possibly be that easy...that simple.
Something had to go wrong.
"What about you?" Sunghoon asks, turning to look at him. Jungwon shrugged.
"It was fine, I guess."
"Well...was it fun? With Jay?"
"Yeah...it made me forget about things for a few hours. Jay doesn't make me feel like I need to be mature...I feel my age when I'm with him." Jungwon admits. He smiles thinking about that morning, and hides his face away. Sunghoon smirks.
"Yeah...Jay has that comforting energy." Sunghoons agrees.
"How was...being on the ice?" Jungwon asks lowly. They're quiet as Jake and Heeseung walk past them, entering the empty building they were using to film in.
"I was okay for a while. Sunoo kind of snapped me out of it before it went too far."
"Does he know?"
"No...only you and Jay." Sunghoon sighs and taps at his thighs.
"I'm too ashamed to tell anyone else." He whispers.
"You don't have to be...you know. They won't judge." Jungwon assures.
"I know...it's just...I don't want anyone's pity. It's better to just keep it to myself."
"You would rather suffer alone..." Jungwon sighs. He wished Sunghoon would open up more, but he understood why he didn't. He was the same way.
"Still...I lasted a good amount of time before it caught up with me...I think it's because Sunoo was with me. He...kinda keeps me grounded." Sunghoon chews on the inside of his cheek.
"I know..." Jungwon smiles to cover up his worry.
They...would be okay, right?
—----------------------------------------
Sunghoon stared at the mess of items in front of them. It looked like some kind of relay race.
"We're going in order of age, starting with Heeseung and ending with Ni-ki." A staff member explains. The boys share confused glances among each other, and then back at the cameras.
"Heeseung will start by spinning around fifteen times, and then attempting to throw the ping pong balls into the cups on the table. You have to make at least six to move on. If you fail, you have to restart." The staff continues.
"Play the ping pong" Heeseung sings quietly, dancing to the choreography. It causes some of the staff to laugh, along with the members.
Heeseung gets into position as the staff explains Jay's mission.
Everyone waits patiently for their mission to be explained. Sunghoon and Sunoo's missions overlapped, as they had to have their ankles tied together as they balanced a container of water between them. They also had a time limit.
The two of them stood awkwardly beside each other as a staff member tied a thin cloth around them. It forces them to get closer and their shoulders bump against each other.
"Aw, Heeseung! Come on!" Jake calls in english. Sunoo glanced back at him, watching him stagger around like a drunken man as he attempted to toss the ping pong balls in the right directions.
Sunoo could already tell he was going to have to redo his mission a few times. Sunghoon stumbled as Sunoo shifted his foot.
"Sorry!" Sunoo whispered, turning back towards Sunghoon. The material around their ankles already made them awkwardly close, but now that they were facing each other, Sunghoon could swear he could feel Sunoo's breath on his neck.
Sunghoon looked down at him and met his eyes. They stood like that for several seconds before looking away at the same time. Sunghoon suddenly felt hot and he cleared his throat before looking back at Heeseung.
"Yes!" Jay hissed as Heeseung landed the sixth ball. Jay got to work stacking the blocks on the table as he attempted to place thirty-five of them on top of each other without letting any fall. He was just getting to block twenty-four when Sunoo's hand brushed against Sunghoon's. Sunghoon's hand twitched and tapped against Sunoo's on reflex. He crosses his arms to try to cover it up as he died of embarrassment internally.
What was I trying to do??? Hold his hand?
"Three more!" Jungwon encourages. Jay stared at the tower in concentration. His intense stare alone could make it fall over.
"Just stack them all at once, then it doesn't matter if it falls or not." Heeseung says.
"Don't teach him to cheat, Heeseung. The tower has to stay standing for five seconds." A staff calls, causing the members to giggle. Sunoo runs a hand through his hair, bumping Sunghoon's shoulder again.
Sunghoon looked down at him and gave him a puzzled look. Yes, they were standing close because of the fact that they were tied together...but it seemed like Sunoo was touching him on purpose. Sunoo looked up and met his eyes before slightly nodding in the other direction without looking. Sunghoon slowly moved his eyes to where Sunoo was gesturing.
A camera...a specific camera was pointed directly at them. It was almost hidden behind the others. The realization sent shivers down Sunghoon's spine and he looked back at Sunoo, but Sunoo had already focused his gaze back on Jay.
"One...Two...Three...Four....Five!" The members count in unison. The staff give them a thumbs up and Jake moves to stand in front of the three half-filled water bottles.
"Flip and land them standing straight up. If you fail, you have to restart."
Jake groaned in complaint but flipped the first bottle anyway.
This was going to take a while. Jungwon and Ni-ki began to prepare for their activity, taking a few practice shots off camera. Ni-ki raised his bow as he grabbed an arrow from the quiver hanging off his back, placing it in position as he eyed the target.
"Take a deep breath.
In.
Out.
Then let the arrow fly.
Where it may land is fate.
Even if the destination is not ideal."
Ni-ki thought of the strange quote...but he couldn't remember where he read it. He scoffs as he glares at the target in the distance.
That quote didn't even make any sense. Someone just threw a couple random lines together and someone found it inspirational.
His grip on the bow tightens and he closes his eyes as those thoughts enter his mind again.
Get out.
Get out.
I can't right now...please...
Ni-ki exhaled sharply and forced his eyes open, looking around to make sure no one was watching him. He met Sunoo's eye and froze. Sunoo showed no emotion as they stared at each other for several seconds. Sunoo's head shakes...barely enough to recognize.
Tears fill Ni-ki's eyes and he turns back towards the target, letting the arrow fly without hesitating for another second. The arrow hits the target at a weird angle and it flys off in a different direction, landing somewhere behind it.
Fucking idiot.
You don't belong here...
No one wants you here.
It's all a facade.
No.
Ni-ki shakes his head and grabs another arrow, aiming at the target through blurry eyes , his lips slightly parted to reveal his clenched teeth. His eyebrows furrowed and his hands shook a little bit. He lets the arrow fly. It hits the edge of the target this time, but falls off.
Not strong enough...
Haha...very weak.
He grabs another arrow, shoulders rising and falling quickly as his breath quickened. He could barely see at all through the tears, the target was nothing more than a black and white blob ahead of him.
Please...please ask me to stay...
I don't want to ask you if you want me here...
Just tell me or let me go.
Please...
...someone save me from myself.
The arrow flies and lands on the very edge of the target. Ni-ki watches it...just waiting for it to fall.
But it doesn't.
"Ni-ki?" Jungwon calls softly. Ni-ki doesn't acknowledge him, he just keeps the bow raised as tears escape down his cheeks.
"Ni-ki." Jungwon grabs his arms roughly and forces Ni-ki to look at him. Jungwon's eyes widened at the sight. Ni-ki's lips were still parted like he was in shock himself...
But the real surprise was the tears flowing over his cheeks, and the deep sadness covering his eyes.
"Jungwon...please." Ni-ki's voice broke and Jungwon pulled him down towards him, hiding Ni-ki's face from any cameras that may be pointed in their direction. A staff member makes his way over to them with a questioning look. Jungwon waves him away as he continues to hold Ni-ki's head to his chest.
"It will be fine, don't worry. Please focus on Sunghoon and Sunoo and tell one of the makeup artists to meet us in the changing room."Jungwon says. The staff hesitates but nods his head and walks back towards the others, giving out a few quiet orders.
"Riki...come on. Walk with me." Jungwon whispers quietly. Ni-ki was silent, but moved his feet in pace with Jungwon's anyway.
He knew a talk was inevitable...
But that didn't change the fact that he still wasn't ready to talk about it.
A/N: Sorry if there are mistakes, this chapter was not really proof read because I was rushing to update since i'm going to be busy and didn't really wanted to make you guys wait for a whole week between updates 🥲
Yes, the "quote/poem" was written by me....and no...I actually have no idea what it means because I really did just write whatever came to mind, so feel free to interpret it however you want. Feel free to share if you have a good theory lol.
Anyway~
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