Part 40: Play
For the rest of the night, Anya allows herself to drown in her misery, allows herself to weep over the demon, after what they just shared, and that finally sleeping with him didn't give her the satisfaction she was hoping for.
On the contrary, it made it worse. Not because she's yearning to sleep with him again—even though she is, much too soon after it happened—but because she feels so lost and so lonely.
In the end all she really wanted was for him to hold her, cuddle her. The awesome sex was just an empty replacement for the emotional intimacy he's not able to give her. And once again she can't be mad at him, this is not his fault, she knew this is all he can give her, knew this is all she gets. Though, she didn't expect to get hit so hard by this realization.
She wonders what went through Kyun's mind once they were done. Did he regret sleeping with her? Was it like what she felt so often after a casual night with a random person: a mixture of shame and guilt?
Anya wishes he would look back on this and see things the way she does. She hopes this night with her was as special for him as it was for her—even if that won't change a thing.
The next day Anya feels better. She forces herself to get her head out of her ass and move on.
She has to.
And she's excited for today. Excited to see Joo. As bad as she feels about this thing with Kyun, the moment she sees Joo, she feels better. That's what he always does. He makes her feel good.
"You look pretty tonight!" Joo smiles as they sit in the Korean restaurant and enjoy their dinner.
It's a different restaurant than yesterday. It's way fancier and Joo is wearing a sexy black suit and tie, his hair slicked back, his face decorated with a charming smile.
"You too!" Smiling, she looks at him for a long moment. It's actually a crime how good he looks tonight.
He takes a bite of his food and nods over to her. "I like that necklace!"
Anya's heart sinks into her gut. She's been wearing this necklace ever since Kyun gave it to her. It's a part of her now. A part she almost forgot. She's been wearing this necklace every time she's met Joo. Why out of all days does he have to mention it now?
"Thanks!" She takes a deep breath, tries to keep her cool. "It was a gift..."
Joo smirks and tilts his head. "Whoever gave it to you seems to know you well, it really suits you!"
Wow, this man really knows how to hit where it hurts the most. But he speaks those words so casually that Anya knows he actually means them. It's almost painful how innocent his mind is...
For hours they sit together and since Joo doesn't mention her necklace or anything Kyun-related again, she manages to relax, have fun. As always, it feels so good being with Joo. So insanely good. A different kind of good than with the demon.
"Can I ask you something?" he suddenly asks after the waiter put the dessert between them.
Completely smitten by the sweet taste of this mochi ice, she nods. "Sure!"
"Why me?"
With furrowed brows, she tilts her head. "What do you mean?"
Joo puts down his spoon and sighs, seeming to search for a way to phrase his thoughts. And this makes her nervous...
"You never have dates," he explains. "You never see men... why me? Don't get me wrong, I feel flattered but I can't help being nervous about the fact that after all these years you chose to go on a date... with me..."
It kind of surprises Anya how big of a topic her non-existent love life is. Wonho mentioned the same. Why is this such a huge deal? She never made a secret out of the fact that she's been hurt. So much that she doesn't trust men.
But isn't it only natural that she's still looking for love? Someone who loves her for who she is?
For a long moment, she looks at Joo and tries to think about his question. She's been avoiding relationships. That's true. Why is she so eager to try it with him? Is it because she wants to prove herself that she's able to? Is it to prove herself that she can love real men and that whatever she feels for Kyun is just a...passing phase?
No.
That wouldn't be worth it.
She takes a sip from her wine and shrugs. "Because you see me for who I am! Not the Anya... but Anya..."
That's it. Even though Joo never made a secret of being her fan, he looks at her differently. He never tried to get into her panties, never tried to use her fame. He's different. Even though they kissed last night, he greeted her with a peck on her cheek when he picked her up. As if he knew he had no right to demand more from her only because they'd kissed once before.
The musician raises his eyebrows and whistles. "It's crazy that the bar is so low and still not many seem to reach it..."
These words make her laugh. "You would be surprised!"
Joo joins her laughter before he takes her hand gently. "I really like you a lot! Thanks for giving me this chance..."
She's thankful too. Thankful that he's showing her that there are actually decent men out there. Even though she can't help the feeling that she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.
"Shall we take a walk and grab a coffee somewhere?" Joo asks after he pays and Anya nods.
"Sounds good!"
He helps her out of her chair and into her jacket. Before they leave the restaurant, he grabs her hand and she feels another wave of butterflies rushing through her body.
A little insecure, he looks at her as if asking for permission. Smiling, she stops and kisses his cheek before pulling him out of the restaurant.
Talking about everything and nothing, they walk down the street, when suddenly...she notices something.
A feeling.
As if they were being watched. Not by Kyun but someone else...
With a racing heart, she looks around—and spots a camera between some bushes.
"Fuck!" she mumbles. She actually doesn't mind. But Joo's culture is a different one. He might get in trouble. Joo squeezes her hand to get her attention back and looks at her with a confused gaze. Without making it too obvious, she wrinkles her nose and nods over to the spot she saw the hidden paparazzi.
"Uh-oh!" He sighs before pulling her around the next corner. "Come on!"
Laughing and giggling, they run down the busy street, even though the photographers probably won't be able to follow that fast. But running away like kids feels so exciting.
They stumble down the street, accidentally bump into numerous people, stammer apologies between their laughter while they keep on running.
Suddenly, Joo jerks to a halt and she almost breaks her ankles in those high heels she's wearing.
"Let's go in here!"
Without hesitation she lets him pull her through a door and finds herself in an arcade.
Oh god! It's been a while since she saw something like this from the inside.
"Wow!" Joo says at the sight of all the different gaming machines. "This is super shabby!"
Laughing, Anya throws her head back, still holding his hand tightly. "I'm sorry, Mister Korea, that our arcades aren't as fancy as yours!"
The musician laughs and pulls her to one of those coin-pusher machines. "I'm gonna win something cute for you!" He smiles and again she laughs.
"Good luck. You need millions of tickets to not get total trash!"
"Let me try it, okay?"
It seems like he's a pro at this and really wants to show her. Giggling, Anya wraps her hands around his arm and rests her head on his shoulder as he puts a few dollar bills into the machine and takes the coins out of it.
Joo winks at her. "Watch me!"
No need to tell her that. The way he bends down to the machine, his tongue on his lip, so focused on putting in the coins at the right time while wearing his expensive suit, is super sexy.
Anya could watch him forever while clinging to him. She hopes the paparazzi never go away.
Speaking of which...
Carefully, she peeks over her shoulder.
Damn it.
"Joo!" she whispers into his ear and he leans closer to her, his eyes still fixed on the game. "They're watching us!"
His jaw drops. "Jesus, why are they so obtrusive?" Worried, he raises his head and looks around the room, apparently looking for a way out. Suddenly a huge smile appears on his face and he takes her hand again. "Come on!"
He pulls her deeper into the arcade before pulling aside the curtain of—a photo booth.
Still grinning widely, he sits in the tiny booth. "Come in!"
He grabs her hand and pulls her onto his lap before closing the curtain.
"And now what?" she asks and lays her arm around his shoulder. "Wanna stay here forever?"
Joo shrugs. "Could be worse, don't you think?" His voice is much lower all of a sudden and Anya's heart and lower abdomen throb hard. "It's perfect actually! Now we can make a few memories!"
While she's thinking about how to get out of her panties without making it too obvious, she suddenly hears the machine rattling and when she turns, she finds Joo putting money into it.
God, Anya!
It's Joo! Did she really think he would fuck her in this thing?
A little ashamed of her thoughts, she feels the heat shooting into her face.
"These are so cheesy!" She giggles while he makes the adjustments on the machine.
Joo wraps his arm around her waist. "I love cheese!"
And Anya really loves the nostalgic flair of these pictures—and she's never taken them before. Not even when they had one of these booths at events or parties.
"Smile!" he says and she obeys and looks into the camera. While doing so, she notices that he isn't looking into the camera at all. Instead, his eyes rest upon her. Confused, she looks down to him.
"What?"
Joo shrugs. "You're...gorgeous, you know that, right?"
Again she feels that swarm of butterflies in her stomach and her heart somersaults in her chest. Smiling, she lays her hand on his cheek and leans closer.
When the first flash fills the booth, her lips are connected to his.
Like last night's, this kiss is a soft one, a coy one. Joo wraps his other hand around her waist as well, pulls her closer, but doesn't touch her any higher or lower while moving his lips carefully against hers.
Smiling, she caresses the back of his neck while his tongue slowly parts her lips and begins to dance with hers. She completely ignores the other flashes that fill the booth shortly after, forgets about the paparazzi, about Kyun, about her misery.
After the last flash appears, he leans back and pecks her lips softly again.
"Let's pretend this was our first kiss," he whispers, smiling. "Then I can show our grandkids these pictures..."
Okay! With any other dude, she would be creeped out if he talked about kids—not to mention grandkids—so early. But she's known Joo long enough to know how important this is for him. Having a secure relationship, a partner he adores and can grow old with.
And Anya feels so damn honored that a man like Joo considers her as a potential partner, even though she's so broken, so used...so evil. His trust in her makes her want to believe in the version of her that he can see.
Her heart beats even faster and she pulls him closer to kiss him again, way more passionately than before.
"Let's—" he mumbles against her lips and carefully pushes her away. "Let's get you home okay?"
These words confuse her. Doesn't he like the way she kisses? Or is she moving too fast?
Because he doesn't sound like he wants to bring her home to stay there with her.
The entire way home, Anya was so tense. Joo had this huge smile on his face but she still doesn't know how to interpret his sudden urge to bring her home.
Just like the night before they stand in front of her door and she doesn't want him to leave. And this isn't even about sex. She would love him to stay all night, just cuddling and talking.
She has to try it one last time at least.
"Do you maybe wanna come in?"
The uncertain look upon his face sends another wave of shame rushing through her body.
Oh god, he's rejecting her!
But how does that fit to the guy who just talked about their damn grandkids?
"Gorgeous..." He sighs and takes her hand. "Before we go further... I need to know one thing..."
Anya can see it in his face that he hates having this kind of talk now, and this makes her even more nervous.
"Are you over Kyun?"
Boom!
These words hit her like a bombshell.
She did not expect this at all, but at the same time he has every right to ask since she had a mental breakdown over Kyun in Joo's arms only three weeks ago.
What is she supposed to tell him? That he's a demon and she'll never ever get over him for as long as she lives but she also knows that he will never ever make her happy?
"Trust me, I can wait!" he says and interrupts her inner struggle. "I really can wait! I just...don't wanna be a rebound..."
The fact that he even thinks he might be a rebound hurts her. Because he doesn't deserve that...
Sure, things with Kyun are complicated, but she can't push good people like Joo away for a demon that will be gone soon anyway and that isn't able to feel...
Is it so wrong that she wants to be loved so badly?
"I know it's hard to believe," she explains and tries to sound as sincere as possible. "Things were complicated, not gonna lie. But I didn't work with you, or go on this date to forget about...him. I really like you! And I really want to try this with us!"
Since the moment she started talking, a smile has been growing on Joo's face. And the fact that he seems to believe her words make her so damn happy!
"We can, of course, wait if you want—"
"No!"
She wants to give him the chance to leave if he doesn't believe her, if he wants to take it slow to be sure, but he interrupts her almost a little too loudly.
He chuckles, embarrassed, when he realizes how panicked and eager his answer sounded. "Sorry, I mean... you're incredible... and I'm a man after all..." he mumbles sheepishly and she can't help but laugh out loud.
Smiling, she kisses his cheek, red from the shame of telling her so bluntly that he wants to sleep with her, before she takes his hand.
"Come in! I make the best coffee in the world! It's up to you if you wanna drink it right now or tomorrow morning..."
~*~
Babes, please read the part below, it's kinda important to me:
As some of you might know I always try to write stories without romanticizing toxicity. This story is ofc kinda toxic, cause a relationship is always toxic when one part of the relationship is much stronger than the other part. Kyun definitely is stronger, which leads to an imbalance and is, like I said, problematic. But I still chose this way and I think I took the hardness out of it by making Kyun wanting consent etc.
Now to the actual thing: We all know what will happen in the next chapter. Under different circumstances, I would never make her sleep with Joo. That Anya is talking herself into thinking that she can forget about Kyun easily is one thing. Her sleeping with Joo even though we all know whom her heart belongs to is toxic af.
But I couldn't not let her sleep with Joo cause this would be so unfair for Joobebe after every member got their smut.
The smut will be here for the sake of entertainment, but please don't go and use people to get over others. This is unfair and the worst behavior.
That's it 🥰