~Ian's POV~
Jealousy. It's like a disease. It can be toxic to a relationship that isn't completely stable on its feet yet. And I was experiencing it.
Anthony and I had been on two dates by the start of February, but neither of us had asked the other just yet "will you be my boyfriend?" Why rush when there was still so much time to get completely comfortable with each other?
But, something was eating at me. And no, it wasn't some rabid animal, it was jealousy. Everywhere Anthony and I went I saw a lot of people, men and women, checking him out, or flirting, or winking or.. okay I think you get the point here.
We had decided not to show public displays of affection, for good reasons, but that was a problem as well. The no kissing or hand holding made everyone think we were just good friends as they hit on him. And he seemed oblivious to all of it until I pointed it out one afternoon.
We were sat on a bench in the busy park, the very same from our first date, just chatting and playing little stupid card games with the deck Anthony had brought along with him.
Go Fish seemed to be Anthony's personal favorite considering we've been playing for twenty minutes now. "Ian do you have any..fours?"
I handed over the card I had before gesturing over my shoulder with my thumb. "That girl just checked you out."
"What? You weren't even looking up from your cards," he argued.
"He just checked you out too," I said while nodding towards a teenage guy across the park who wasn't so secretly watching Anthony.
"Come on Blue Eyes, don't be ridiculous-"
"I'm not being ridiculous," I mumbled as I sorted through my cards. "Do you have any sixes?"
"Go fish. And you are, no one's checking me out," he grumbled back as he watched me grab a card from the top of the deck.
"Everyone is, well except for that old couple and that family and maybe a few forty-year-old people. But yeah, I'm not being ridiculous nor am I being unreasonable."
"Got any twos? And I think I would have noticed if all these people were checking me out, don't you think?"
"Go fish. And no, because you're apparently blind," I unhappily stated as I watched him grab a card and raise an eyebrow at me incredulously.
"I actually have perfect vision, thank you very much. And why does it matter if people check me out anyway?"
My mouth gaped open. "Seriously? Why shouldn't it matter? And a lot of them are much better looking then me," I said while mumbling the last part under my breath.
"I heard that, don't be so self-conscious," he watched my reaction. "I'm serious!" He added as he saw me start to laugh.
I wiped a fake tear from my face. "Nice joke there. But guess what? That girl walking by almost tripped over her own feet because she was looking at you instead of where she was going."
"Hey, is that.. jealousy I hear?" He said while cupping a hand over his ear.
"No!" Yes. "I'm not jealous!" Yes I am.
"Got any jacks? And you totally are dude."
I handed over the card. "I just don't get how you wouldn't notice all these people watching you. I do get it though, it's hard not to look at someone so attractive when they're right in front of you."
He snorted. "You're one to talk! I think you're stunning."
I laughed bitterly, not quite believing his words. "Yeah, thanks for the compliment but honestly? Have you looked in the mirror lately? I think when we're out together like this people think I'm your ugly friend that you only spend time with out of pity." I knew he was about to speak so I lifted his hand up with mine, "like god-dammit, even your hands are better looking than mine." And I meant it to be a joke, but upon further examination I discovered that I was, in fact, correct. His hands were nicer than mine.
"Ian, calm down. Nothing about me is any better looking than anything on you," he said, obviously trying to reassure me (which I appreciated).
I sighed as I released his hand before people would start to give us weird looks. "You might not see it, but everyone else does," I whispered bitterly.
"Well then it's everyone else who's blind and they haven't seen you like I have." I raised an eyebrow but decided against commenting on that.
"Got any Queens?"
He grudgingly handed over the card. "And what is spurring this outburst all of a sudden anyway?"
"I don't exactly know. I think it was just realization that you.. are totally and completely out of my league."
Anthony put his cards down. "I win, by the way. And that is far from the truth, if anything, you're out of my league!"
I threw my cards down, angry at myself, him, and the loss. "Stop trying to sugarcoat it for me. You're taller than me, you're more muscular than me, tanner, you've got the sweetest puppy dog eyes, you're funny as fuck.. need I go on?"
He shook his head slowly as he reached to grab my cards that had hit the ground. "Ian, I like you how you are. I love that you're shorter than me because it's super cute, I don't care if I'm stronger because then I can carry you around or whatever, and yes I am tanner. But you being tan wouldn't look quite right, you're pale like a porcelain doll. And you think my eyes are great?" He looked up with that dimple-filled smile, "yours are shades of blue that can't even be defined or named. And of course you're funny! I wouldn't hang out with someone who's boring, let alone take them on dates. So suck it, all your arguments are invalid."
"You know," I said while reaching across to poke one of his dimples. "I really wish I had dimples like yours."
"Don't change the subject. And no you don't. Dan told me that dimples may actually be a dis-figuration of the face, as in the cheek muscles didn't form properly," he pointed out smugly, as if he'd achieved something by being a smart-ass.
I sorted the cards into a neat pile, snapping an elastic band around them so they wouldn't go everywhere. "Okay, this isn't about my insecurities regarding you or me. Let's just forget I said anything."
"No, you brought it up so we're going to talk about it. Now, why would it bug you if people check me out?" He paused and the devilish smirk I hadn't seen for a while lit up his face and he wiggled his eyebrows jokingly as he leaned towards me more. "Because you know your ass is better than everyone else's, so it's not like I'm looking back when I can just look at you in those jeans."
I snorted at his ridiculous sentence, but felt my cheeks become rosy anyways. "So you only like me for my butt? Lovely. Maybe I only like you for your hair." Wow Ian, great comeback.
"And you say I'm the one with the hair fetish."
"Shut up."
He stood on his feet, extending a hand to help me up. "Maybe shut up will be our always."
I punched him in the arm. "We're not even dating, you douche."
He rubbed the small pink spot on his arm. "We've been on like three dates. Isn't that good enough?"
I patted his shoulder as I wrapped my sweater tighter around myself. "Not quite, Romeo."
"If I'm Romeo does that mean you're Juliet?"
I cringed, not appreciating that comparison. "Fuck, I hope not. That story ends horribly and I'm hoping neither of us die. Plus, last time I checked, I think I'm a guy."
"Well then. I could check for you if you're not sure?"
"No!" My cheeks lit up as I glanced around, praying no one heard that.
"I hope neither of us die either, although being a ghost would be pretty awesome. And fine, if you don't wanna be Juliet we'll be Romeo and Julio or something."
I opened my mouth to respond but stopped when a voice interrupted me. "Anthony!"
A thin black-haired girl came up to us, all tan skin and long legs with bright green eyes. "Hey Jade! It's been too long," Anthony said as he wrapped her in a quick hug while I hovered awkwardly behind them.
I cleared my throat when the hug wasn't broken a few seconds later, quickly drawing their attention. Anthony stepped away from her and gestured towards me. "Oh, yeah. Jade this is Ian, Ian this is Jade."
She smiled sweetly, flashing me her perfectly straight white teeth. "Hi! Nice to meet you."
I tentatively shook her hand, "uh, nice to meet you too." I turned to face Anthony. "I'm gonna go grab lunch from the car, you want anything?"
"Can you grab me my water bottle please?" He asked as he handed me the keys, I nodded in answer and speedily walked away, escaping the horrendously awkward situation.
I got to his car and unlocked it with the push of a button, going into the backseat where I'd shoved the lunch I'd made before leaving the house this morning. I grabbed the bag and Anthony's water bottle before shutting the door and locking the car once more, taking a deep breath and leaning against the side of it to compose myself.
I shook off my returning jealousy and made my way back to the scene I'd abandoned, just to stop in my tracks when they came into sight. I arrived just in time I see, just in time to see Anthony give her a kiss on the cheek before she made her departure with a cute little wave. I ground my teeth together to stomp down my anger and walked as calmly as possible to where Anthony waited.
"Hey, Blue Eyes. Where do you wanna sit to eat?"
I looked around before noticing a rather secluded part of the park, a picnic table behind a large tree. I pointed over there and we both walked over, taking seats across from each other upon arrival. I handed him the water bottle and he smiled in thanks as he took a sip of the cool and refreshing drink, "so what'd you make for lunch?"
I pulled two of the vegetable kebabs from their cling film wraps, handing one to him as I bit into one myself. I was four bites in when I noticed Anthony hadn't made a noise as I'd been eating. I glanced up with the kebab still in my mouth, nearly choking on the bite I'd taken when I noticed the darkness in his eyes.
"How do you do that?"
I shrugged and took the kebab from my mouth, "no gag reflex I guess."
His eyes widened as I took another bite, pushing the kebab to the back of my throat to prove my statement. He licked his lips as he watched me, "that could be useful."
I tilted my head in confusion at his cryptic statement, "huh?"
He shook his head slowly as he laughed, "you're very innocent minded sometimes."
It clicked a second later and I dropped the kebab in an instant, having it drop to the table accidentally (never to be eaten). I shifted around on my side of the bench, getting nervous under his piercing gaze. "Is there something on my face?" I finally asked to break the tension swamping the air between us.
"No. Not yet."
I face-palmed, hiding my beet-red face from his view. I felt his weight move to my side of the bench, sliding so close that our sides touched. He leaned close to peck my neck with his lips gently, tickling slightly. I groaned as I remembered him kissing Jade's cheek and I swatted him away with a hand, "why don't you go kiss Jade?" I bitterly asked while removing my hands completely so I could look at him properly.
He crinkled his eyebrows in confusion, "uh, no? That'd be a little fucked up."
"Why? You didn't seem to have a problem kissing her before," I crossed my arms over my chest, pouting childishly.
"On the cheek. And, dude, couldn't you tell?"
"Tell what?" I asked, still keeping my pout-y face on.
"That we're related, she's my cousin," and I could just tell he was holding back from laughing at me.
I dropped the pout instantaneously, "oh."
And he couldn't hold back his amusement, laughing wholeheartedly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders to pull me against him, "that's adorable! You were so jealous!."
"I'm not adorable! I'm a grown ass man!"
He pinched my cheek, "awe! Little baby thinks he's all grown up!"
"If I'm a baby then that makes you a pedophile."
He wrinkled his nose, getting up to move back to his own side of the table. "Anyways, I'm right whatever way you see it. It's cute when you're jealous."
Jealousy: a.k.a. my least favorite emotion.
~
Anthony and I walked out of the theater, still laughing from the jokes the comedy we'd seen contained. He wiped a few laughter-induced-tears from his eyes, "hey, before we go can we get a refill on the popcorn? Movie theater popcorn is the shit."
I agreed with his true statement and we headed over to the woman by the register. Anthony put on his polite smile, "good evening, can we please get a refill on this popcorn please? Oh and no butter if that's alright."
The girl glanced up from her previous task, doing a double-take when catching sight of Anthony. Her cheeks flushed red, "uh, sure." She grabbed the bucket from his outstretched hand, flushing an even darker shade when their hands brushed. Thank God, it's not just me that gets this flustered around him a lot of the time.
She returned a moment later with the now overflowing bucket, handing it back with a little bit more composure than she'd previously held. Anthony gave a thankful grin as he passed it to me and took his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans while turning back to face the girl behind the register.
"How much does it come to?" She scanned him up and down with her big blue eyes that made mine look like an ugly stormy blue, while hers looked like the clearest blue sky of a sunny day.
"For you? It's on the house." Anthony's face lit up, "thanks! Have a nice night."
I grabbed his wrist, pulling him behind me as I exited the building. I was fuming, grinding my teeth together to once again suppress the anger and frustration. I'm surprised I didn't chip a tooth. "Whoa, Blue Eyes. Slow down or you're gonna dislocate my arm," Anthony warned confusedly as I dragged him along.
I released my hold, not slowing down as he walked a safe distance behind me to the car in the near-deserted parking lot. I blew out a long breath of air to calm myself as I got to the car, waiting for him to unlock it, but the button clicking never came as he hovered behind me. "Ian, what's wrong?" I felt his hands on my shoulders, turning me to face him as he looked at me sternly; showing he wasn't going to accept my "nothing's wrong" as a truthful answer.
"I'm just sick of people flirting with you is all," I sighed out finally in defeat.
He released my shoulders but kept his intense gaze on me, "is that it?"
I frowned as I thought over my next words carefully. "Yeah. It may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. People don't know we're kinda-sorta-together and it just bugs me that people don't know, nor do they acknowledge my existence."
Anthony didn't say a word as he unlocked the back door of his car, leaving me confused as he crawled into the backseat. "Ian, come here." His voice left no room for discussion, just for me to listen.
I leaned in slightly, letting out a surprised sound when he grabbed my shirt collar and hauled me into the back seat with him; door being shut behind me. He laid on his back, me sitting on his stomach as he lay there. "Go ahead," he murmured as I stared, dumbfounded, at him.
"What am I going ahead with exactly?"
He rolled his eyes as he grabbed my hips with his hands, "you want people to know I'm kinda-sorta in a relationship so show them. Give me a hickey."
I blinked in realization, swallowing back the nerves that still always struck me before doing anything even relatively sexual with Anthony as I leaned in close to his neck. I hesitated, leaning up to peck his lips instead for a few seconds. His hands tightened on my hips as the kiss intensified. He bit my bottom lip as I pulled away, leaving a pleased hum to escape my mouth.
I returned to my task, pressing my mouth directly to his sweet spot without any further pause. I sucked on his skin, hearing him moan out slightly as I did so. I felt his sharp intake of breath as I gave him a quick nip with my teeth, ensuring the mark would both last a good amount of time and be noticeable enough to draw attention to it from the people who flirt with him like it's nothing. I've worked hard for our bond to build and we've both developed a fierce protectiveness over one another, the fuel for my jealousy.
"Ian, I-" I cut him off with another nip. "I-I just thought of something regarding your, um, jealousy."
I rolled my eyes, moving from his neck down to his collarbones to begin the process over again on a new spot. "It was, uh, I'm glad you get jealous sometimes. Because if you didn't I'd be worried you have your eyes on someone else instead of me. I notice all the people who admire you and fawn over you even if you act like it doesn't happen."
I drew away from his hot skin finally, content with the two bright red marks painted across his skin as if with an artists brush on his canvas of skin. I positioned myself in the amount of space between him and the back of the seats, laying with my head on his chest as he caught his breath.
"So you get jealous too?" He gave me a gentle smack upside the head at the question, "of course I do, you doughnut." The word doughnut has never sounded so endearing when spoken before.
"I guess you're just good at hiding it, huh?" I asked as I sat up awkwardly to scramble from the car once more into the cool night air.
Anthony grabbed me from behind in a hug, "not particularly, you're just exceptionally bad at hiding your jealousy."
So, maybe jealousy isn't all bad.
And maybe, just maybe, I didn't feel as angered anymore when I noticed people staring at him. (Mostly because I knew they were staring at the marks on his skin instead of his face, and by the proud smirk on my face I knew they knew I was the cause of the marks.)
A.N.: Aye, it's a filler. The next chapter will probably be a tear-inducer due to the fluff overload. So be prepared;)