"Why is it so freaking hot?" I frustratingly asked Mei as we got out of the subway station. She'd told her friends she would go to the place earlier to help them get everything ready, and she asked if I wanted to come along.
"I know, I've been sweating like mad all day" she agreed. "It is the beginning of June, after all"
"True" I sighed. "But still, it's annoying" I tried to use my cropped shirt to fan myself but didn't really find any relief in it.
"At least there's a pool in this house's garden. I bet it'll be crowded all evening"
"There's a pool??? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought I did? Plus, you've been to this place before, I thought you'd noticed" she shrugged.
"Uhm, not really. I didn't take a swimsuit or anything" I said, disappointed.
"It's fine, most people probably didn't. A fully clothed pool dive never hurt anyone" she chuckled.
"I don't know about that, but okay" I mumbled, knowing that wasn't my main idea of fun but not wanting to ruin her enthusiasm.
It felt slightly weird to be back in the place I associated with an event I really didn't want to remember, as much as things between me and Mei were all completely normal, and had been for months.
Talking to her friends and helping with getting the house ready pretty much distracted me from all of those thoughts. I'd already met all of them but never really had a conversation that didn't involve alcohol or wasn't done at a really loud volume because of all the people around us or the loud music in the background.
I realized Mei had actually never told me how she'd met people who lived in New York city while she lived an hour away from there up till that year, and it turned out she'd met them online years before, which I found pretty cool.
And I also honestly just wanted to think about having fun and celebrating the end of the academic year, without worrying too much about stuff that had happened in the past or what people thought of me. And maybe the drink I had before people even started to arrive would help me with that, knowing me and my inability to ever be completely relaxed.
If there's something I learned that year, it was that the only thing I liked about drinking was how relaxed and careless it made me feel, something I appreciated in social occasions like parties. I just needed enough for me to not worry about each interaction I was going to have.
But I realized that maybe I'd reached that point too early in the evening when I greeted Sarah and Maya with a hug and almost fell because of how off balance I was feeling.
We all just laughed it off, though. Many people in the house were probably feeling like that too. And feeling so light and giggly was actually fun, allowing me to talk to way more people than I would have otherwise.
I only noticed I hadn't even been with my own friends until I walked out to the garden, and saw the three in the middle of the crowd of people.
"Hi!" I said as loudly as possible, tapping Mei on the shoulder.
"Hi there! We were wondering where you were" she exclaimed, turning her head to the side so the smoke of her cigarette wouldn't all blow into my face.
"Just...talking to people I guess" I shrugged.
"That was my plan too until Sarah dragged me and Maya out here" she shook her head. I could tell she wasn't completely lucid either.
"You were starting to say dumb things, babe" Sarah laughed. "Plus, I know you two would have come out here anyway because you can't spend more than a few hours without one of these" she nodded towards the cigarette she was also holding.
"Come on, I was just joking about what happened last time I was here with Ellie" she snickered. "But I can't contradict you on the second part"
"Speak for yourself" Maya intervened. "Actually, maybe she's right" she added, seconds later.
"I know I'm right" the blonde said. "You want one, El?"
"Uh, no thanks" I mumbled, thinking about the fact that Mei's first comment would have made me quite uncomfortable in normal conditions, but I couldn't care less at that moment.
"Have you ever even tried to smoke at all?" Mei asked.
"Of course" was my instinctive reply. "...No" I added, knowing I wasn't good at lying.
"Don't you want to say you've at least tried? It'll be fun to watch" she handed me a cigarette before I could even think.
"Not really..." I tried to find support in the others, but both also looked amused. "Okay, fuck it" I changed my mind in a fit of courage.
Even if I followed their precise instructions on what to do I ended up feeling like my throat and lungs were burning and coughing like some old man for a good minute.
"You good?" Mei asked as she and the others kept laughing.
"It's not funny!" I croaked, still trying to breathe properly. "But yeah, I'm fine. Not what I was expecting"
"Yeah, the first time's weird" Sarah chuckled. "I honestly never enjoy it that much, only when I'm drinking"
Anything I did from that moment onwards was pretty much a blur, I just remember I had more fun than I'd had in a long time. I knew I'd probably finished that one cigarette, and I somehow ended up in the pool with tens of people around me. But I really didn't have any idea on the events that led to that moment.
Or at least, everything up to when I realized I had no idea where I'd left my bag with my phone and keys in it. I probably looked like a crazy person inspecting every corner of the not so small house for the next fifteen minutes or so.
But I'd luckily just left it in the person who lived in the house's bedroom, where not many people had been hanging out.
"Shit, I didn't take my keys with me!" I mumbled to Mei, who was probably wondering why I was looking so worried, once I found her again. I really hoped I'd actually forgot to take them and not have them stolen, but I wasn't lucid enough to worry about that.
"You can stay on my couch for the night, I don't mind" she said.
"Really?" I sighed in relief.
"Yeah, no worries" she reassured me. "Babe, Ellie's staying at my place so you'll only have to drop Maya off before stopping there" she turned towards Sarah.
"You know me and Maya also came by subway, right?" she asked.
"What?"
"Babe, you literally texted me to tell me there was no parking space left and I shouldn't bother driving here"
"Oh, right" she giggled, wrapping her arms around Sarah's waist. "Sorry, I think I'm slightly drunk"
"I gathered" she chuckled. "You forgot your keys, El?"
"Yeah, I'm dumb" I laughed.
"It happens to the best of us, no big deal. Let's go and enjoy the party for another while" she suggested, quickly kissing Mei before disappearing in the crowd with her.
"You coming?" Maya asked.
"Yeah, I just need to, uh, text Sam" I said, realizing the alcohol's effect was starting to fade from the nervousness I felt while saying that name in front of Maya. "And then I need another drink"
you: babe
you: i forgot my keys, i'm stayinf at mei's fpr tje nightr
sam<3: Are you drunk?
you: npt yet hahahsha
you: jyst wanyed to warn u
sam<3: I can drive there if you give me the address, I don't mind
you: no! it's 1am! why are u evrn awske rn??????
you: it woukd take u like hslf an hour to get here
sam<3: You know I never go to sleep at normal times
sam<3: And I sensed you might have needed me at some point
you: were u worried aboit me? that's romantic
you: but really, im good u don't need to cpme
sam<3: Okay, but just know I wouldn't mind
sam<3: I'm not gonna be sleeping peacefully knowing you're drunk anyway
you: i'm not drunk!!!!!!!! just tipsy
you: if coming here will make u feel beter i csn text u the address, i woudlnt mind not javing to oay a taxi
you: can mei come alomg
sam<3: Sure
sam<3: Be there in an hour?
sam<3: I have a feeling seeing you is gonna be fun
you: what
sam<3: Nothing baby
sam<3: See you later then
you: yes
you: thanj u
you: i love u so so soo mucj. i rsally do
I put my phone in my shorts' back pocket so as not to risk losing it again, not thinking about the fact that my clothes were all still wet from the pool in the moment, and started to look for my friends, wondering where they were.
Maya did agree on needing a drink, so I thought she'd probably be in the kitchen. I didn't find her at first, though.
"Want me to pour you one?" some blonde girl next to me asked, nodding towards the bottle in her hand.
"Sure, thanks" I smiled, handing her my cup.
"No problem" she smiled back. "Wanna dance?"
Before I could even reply I heard Maya's voice coming from behind me.
"She's taken" she said, walking next to me.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to-" the girl mumbled, visibly embarrassed as she walked away.
"Maya!" I glared at her.
"What? That's the truth"
"I know, but you made it seem as if we're together"
"At least she went away"
"I don't know why people keep approaching me like that today" I gulped down half of my drink.
"Probably 'cause you look hot, Ellie. Hope that helps" she shrugged, also drinking most of the content of her cup.
"Stop" I giggled, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Just accept the compliment" she chuckled. "We need to find Sarah and Mei soon, people are gonna start leaving in a while"
That last half an hour was also kind of a blur, I only remembered lots of loud music and dancing and feeling a little too lightheaded, but not really caring. It felt so liberating to just think about having fun in that moment and nothing else.
By the time we walked to the front garden, groups of people were starting to leave, as Maya predicted. The temperature had definitely dropped, and the fact that both the few clothes I was wearing and my hair were still damp didn't help.
"That was...something" Sarah chuckled as the four of us reunited.
"It was fun, huh?" Mei agreed. "But I don't think I'll be able to get out of bed tomorrow" she added, grabbing onto her girlfriend's shoulder for support.
"Same, both because of how much I drank and because I'll probably get a cold" I chuckled, visibly shivering.
"Come on" Mei said as she pulled me into some sort of hug, to warm me up I assumed. But it just made me colder, since her clothes were also wet.
"Thanks" I giggled, finding myself closer to both Mei and Sarah than I would have wanted if I'd been sober.
"We should call a taxi if we want to get home" Maya intervened, lighting herself another cigarette.
"Oh, uhm, Mei, I forgot to tell you that if you want-" I started to say as I realized I hadn't even told her about Sam coming to pick me up. I wanted to tell her earlier to avoid having to do it in front of Maya, but I didn't have much choice.
"Your girlfriend is coming to pick you up?" Sarah completed my sentence.
"How did you-" I said before I was interrupted by the feeling of two familiar hands tightening on my waist. "Sam!!!" I exclaimed once I turned around, moving away from Mei's grip.
"Sorry, you weren't answering your texts and I thought it'd be quicker to-" she attempted to say, but my first drunken instinct was to immediately crush my lips on hers, something I probably should have avoided to not make literally everyone uncomfortable.
"Have you been smoking?" was the first thing she asked, distancing herself.
"No" I lied, not sure if she thought that was a bad thing.
"You are drunk, though" she chuckled.
"I'm not" I shook my head.
"Is she drunk?" Sam asked my friends, amusement in her voice.
I was still looking at her, so when they all replied at the same time I couldn't really grasp who said what. All I heard was "No", "Yes" and "Probably".
"Not helpful" Sam snickered. "Anyway, you can all come along if you want"
The three spoke together again, but it wasn't hard to understand who said "No thanks" instead of "Yes please".
"I'll just leave you alone here, then" Sam sarcastically said to Maya.
"Fine, whatever" she sighed. "It'll save us some money, I guess"
"Thank you for coming" I mumbled, kissing Sam again, but almost falling on her. "I love you so much"
"Okay, yeah, we should go" she just laughed, quickly kissing my forehead. "Did she drink way more than you three or is she just not used to it?" she added as we walked to her car, one of her arms completely wrapped around my waist by then.
"Both, probably" Maya shrugged.
"That makes sense" Sam said. "Also, I'm going to need your addresses so I know where to go"
"I think she's talking to you two, girls" Maya said to Mei and Sarah, who had been dead silent ever since Sam arrived.
"Yeah, she already knows where Maya lives because she went to her house without telling me a while ago" I casually said.
"Ellie..." both my girlfriend and the brunette said.
"What? That did happen" I furrowed my brows, confused.
"Yeah, uhm, you can drop us both at Mei's" Sarah mumbled. "Babe, what's the address again?" she whispered, probably thinking we couldn't hear, causing Mei to mumble the address as if someone had just woken her up from an hours long sleep.
I wasn't clear minded enough to understand the obvious reason behind no one in the car talking for the next ten minutes, if not more.
"Why is everyone silent?" I asked, once again, genuinely confused. "And why are you all ignoring my question?" I added, once the only response I received was Sam's chuckle.
"Because everyone in here has at least one reason to feel incredibly awkward right now" Maya said, almost sounding annoyed.
"Oh. Right" I decided that maybe staying silent was indeed the best move in that situation, so I just nodded while I moved my hand on top of the one Sam wasn't using to drive, as she laced her fingers with mine.
I could tell that her thoughts were making her want to laugh just from the look on her face, but I luckily stopped myself from saying anything that would embarrass someone in that car. I needed to wait until we were alone to know what was going on in her head.
"You're really something, you know that?" she shook her head with a laugh once we'd finally got to her apartment.
"What?" I asked, kicking my shoes off and throwing myself on the couch.
"I gave them all a ride just to be kind, but you didn't need to make it so embarrassing" she walked to me.
"I was just trying to make some conversation!" I pouted, my eyes starting to feel heavy.
"Nope, you're not falling asleep here" she helped me sit back up.
"Ugh, why?" I groaned.
"Because you need to get changed, and also maybe explain why your clothes and hair are wet"
"Oh, uhm, me and Mei jumped in the pool with our clothes on" I giggled.
"No not drunk person would do that" she laughed again. "Well, I'm glad you had fun"
"I'm not drunk!!!" I pouted, attempting to pull her body closer to mine to kiss her.
"Yeah, whatever you say. Let me help you" she said, and before I could even think of anything else she lifted my whole body from the couch and took me to the bathroom.
Once she helped me dry off and handed me a pair of pajamas, she tucked me into her bed and brought me a huge glass of water.
"You're gonna need this if you don't want to feel like you're dying tomorrow" she said, laying down next to me.
"Thank you. I love you" I apparently couldn't stop saying that.
"Me too" she kissed the top of my head, still seeming vaguely amused.
"Why have you been looking like you're keeping laughter in for the past hour?" I asked as I sipped the water, realizing I'd finally stopped feeling dizzy by then.
"Because all of this is kind of funny" she shrugged. "But you're lucky you're drunk...or whatever you think you are, or my reaction to seeing you all snuggled up with your friend wouldn't have been the same. Especially now that we're alone"
"We were keeping each other warm!" I defended myself, only realizing what she meant with the second part a while after.
"Hm, still. Didn't like that" she said, moving my hair out of my face as I laid my head on the pillow, and gently kissed me. "You should sleep now"
"I love it when you get like that. You get hotter than you already are" I mumbled. "Goodnight. I love you, like, a lot. I really do"
"Goodnight, my love" was the last thing I heard before I closed my eyes.